Menace Returns

"...I mean, it was like there was a script everyone was following and my being there ruined it," I finished.

Lesson learned: If the Venom symbiote possesses the Hulk to fight Carnage and Carnage somehow gets the upper hand in that fight, don't jump kick Carnage in the face while screaming 'leave Hulk alone' at the top of your lungs. All it does is get you bitch slapped through the machine that the good guys were using to siphon the symbiote goo out of people. You land in the goo and it ends up merging with your symbiote and suddenly you've got all the powers and memories of Captain America, Wolverine, Hawkeye, the Thing, some asshole Kree soldier, one of the kids I'd been talking to, and a dysfunctional as all hell family of four as well as the symbiotes they'd all worn at various points. It was really confusing and disorienting but I was able to just sort of instinct my way into kicking Carnage's ass,

Then he tried to rip off my symbiote and I guess eat it, which didn't work so good for some reason and I kind of ended up eating his.

"So anyway, the good news is that Cletus Kassady and the Carnage symbiote are probably dead for good—apprently my symbiote is infected with some kind of virus that keeps it from being messed with my hive-mind stuff... Or at least that's what Doctor Steve at Alchemex said when I got taken there to be checked out after. Anyway, the Carnage Symbiote was laughing in my ear about how God was Coming and if Cletus was dead it'd just overwrite my mind with his, and then it started screaming in agony as my own symbiote reasserted itself and destroyed the Carnage symbiote's consciousness." I blinked. "It was really confused becuase apparently it'd already eaten a couple of symbiotes that were also infected by that virus but I guess it's different when it's the one being eaten. The bad news is that apparently instinctively eating Carnage released a primordial Elder God from his prison and he's coming straight to Earth so I'm partly responsible for everything that comes from that."

"So," Scout—who was Honey Badger the last time I'd heard of her but apparently the cutesy name wasn't working for her anymore—began, "that was a long and detailed way to explain why you were doing pushups with a bolder on your back."

"Yeah. I talk a lot," I admitted.

Gotta say... surprisingly little to do on Krakoa. Apparently, we get free cable but my house doesn't have a TV and I'm not sure who to talk to to get one. I mean, the free house was nice... And it was either the Island or a state home for orphans and I'm not gonna be a mutant in a state home, that never ends well for anyone and I'd probably get victim-blamed for burning the building down in self-defense or something.

"Not much to do here, all things considered," I finished while shrugging the bolder off my back and standing up. "And there's kind of a horrible evil alien god on his way to kill everyone on the planet, so, you know... I gotta get my exercise in. Gotta be ready, becuase, well... Everybody else is getting ready for it." The Avengers, the Quiet Council, the Wakandan Government... And I would hope that Avengers told Alpha Flight...

"The worst part is I didn't keep the power-up. It wore off a few minutes after eating Carnage. I still know how to fight and apparently, I absorbed whatever dark magic was powering-up up Carnage so between that and some of the drugs I've been given fire just isn't a problem for me, but my symbiote isn't anywhere near as strong as it was after I got kicked into the machine, so..." I shrugged again. "And all the classes they offer to kids in the Akademos Habitat are about working as a team and synchronizing your mutant powers together. My mutant power for most of my life was that I was a crippled invalid, then stabilized so I couldn't be poisoned or drugged except by an exceptional dose. Everything I can do that's actually useful in a fight is either a symbiote, goblin formula, or other drugs that I've been told I will be informed about if and when the Avengers track down the facility I was being held in and identified the shit that was given to me." We only knew about the Goblin Formula becuase they did a test of my blood when I was being checked out at Alchemex and, well, Alchemex was Osborp before it was rebranded after the merger with Allen Chemicals. Also, I might have super-soldier serum. Some of the symbiote goo came out of Captain America and I'm pretty sure my abs are slightly more fab than they were before I got bitchslapped into the tank.

"Which reminds me: if you see me acting insane, talking to people who aren't there, or the like let me know. Schizophrenia-like symptoms are a known side effect of Goblin Formula, so... Do the 'human drugs' only work on baseline humans, or can a mutant take the anti-crazy pills too?"

"You're uh, you're gonna have to talk to Beast or one of the other scientists about that," Scout said awkwardly.

"So the next step in my routine is a couple of laps around the rivers that run through the island, so if you wanna keep talking..." I gestured vaguely in the direction of where I've usually started. "I usually start at the mouth over there, swim upstream, get out, walk to the next nearest river mouth, and so on till I've done three rotations around the island, and on my second rotation I get out, take a ten-minute break, and get a Shirly Temple where the one river goes through that Tiki Bar. What's it called, the Green Lagoon?"

While I was explaining my routine, I melted my clothes down and reshaped them into my bathing suit. Nothing fancy, just a solid black one-piece. Completely honest, I considered a bikini since I've got abs worth showing off but I decided against it cause I couldn't imagine one that looked good in practice. Maybe I'll try again when I'm older.

"...That's an... Intense routine," Scout said, shocked. "This, this isn't a small island."

I shrugged again. "That's nothing. After the swim, I do a hundred squats and a ten-kilometer run." Honestly, I don't know if it is even doing anything for me but the activity was nice. I spent the first thirteen years of my life as an invalid. Now that I have the strength to get up and move I'm gonna fucking use it.

"...You're a health nut," Scout said with certainty. "I'm gonna go open up your fridge and it's gonna be full of kale and quinoa and crap, right?"

"Oh, Hell no. I'll eat an entire pan of lasagna for every meal if you let me."

Scout laughed, even though that wasn't a joke. "Okay, Garfield."

I put on my best introspective look. "I do hate Mondays." Then I started rubbing the back of my hand against my face like a cat.

Scout laughed again. "I like you, you're weird. It's Menace, right?"

"Yeah. Or Ashley."

"Gabby."

And then we had a firm handshake because that's what people did when they made friends.

After a moment of looking like she was thinking hard on something. "Ah, to hell with it." Then she did something that made her X-men costume teleport away and get replaced with a one-piece bathing suit that had the same colors and patterns as her X-men costume. Something-something Kakoan Costume technology. It was cool but I was permanently bonded with a symbiote that did whatever I wanted so I didn't need it and didn't look into how it worked.

"Race you to the river!" She shouted and then immediately took off in a mad dash. If that's how she wanted things...

AN: If it's not 100% clear this is a sequel to the Absolute Menance short story for a little while back, so Ashley is 14, her mutation is stabilized, and most of her powers come from her and her symbiote being drugged to the gills by Weapon V.

After thinking on it, I decided that she'd be more likely to stick in the main room than fall back, so she slightly derailed the climax of Absolute Carnage but brought it back to the same endpoint—if I ever decide to do anything based on King in Black, it'll be in this side continuity becuase King in Black doesn't work in my main canon.

This is partly something I've been thinking about for a while and partly something I did on a whim because this month' issue of New Mutants, and the one from last month, establish that Gabby isn't holding up well while Laura's away on her long term mission and is starting to feel lonely and a bit alienated. Gabby's one of my favorite characters, so I decided to give her a friend to hang out with.

Krakoan Costume technology got a one-off mention in an issue of Excaliber and how it works has not been explained.