Chapter 73: We are Okay

A/N: I decided to do a little fluff chapter for Ale and Paul. I realized I haven't had a intimate chapter for them since their wedding. Hope you guys enjoy!

The rest of the day, it was a chill and productive if you can say that. Paul finished cooking for me, and we ate dinner together. I think this was a first time that we had alone time together without Seth and Leah around. I told him let's not talk about the babies during our time together and lets just talk about us. I checked in with him, and he was tired. Even though he loves the babies, he sometimes misses going to work and spending time with the guys. I listened to him, and I thanked him for opening up to me. I also told him about how going out to the public with grocery shopping, it helped me out in more ways that I realized. I love my babies, but sometimes I need some me time to help me compartmentalize all of my emotions and my time in this world better. Being a mom, it can be really hectic and emotionally draining, so to be able to spend some time for myself. I am able to ground myself in this world and my new life with Paul.

We decided to take a personal day at least once a month to focus on ourselves. In my field, I have seen many couples who let child-rearing being the sole focus of their marriage, and it led their relationship to be strained. Even though I am imprinted by Paul, it doesn't mean that we just get comfortable. We gotta keep working to pursue, get to know, to care each other no matter how deep our relationship is. I don't want my relationship with Paul to be only focused on child-rearing and work. If we aren't doing good, then it'll be a reflection with how we take care of our young children. When the parents are strong then the children will be able to thrive as much as they can. I understand that I am being too cautious by talking all of this with Paul, but I wanted to get this all at the door and make this into a habit now than later.

I don't think I realized it, but I started rambling all the material that I learned from my marriage and family psych course in college. He would listen to me with an amused expression. Occasionally, he would stop me to ask me some questions, and I would try to answer him without all the jargons that I used. I even introduced token economy, and sign language to help the babies to become verbal once they hit 2-year-old and up. I only know few signs language words since in my previous job as a Behavior Technician, there were some children with autism who were really nonverbal.

I think I was overwhelming Paul from a heavy feeling that I was getting from him. He sheepishly told me that he was, so I slowed down. I went back to talking about what we can do to keep our relationship besides sex. Paul listened attentively, and he pointed out all of this preparation to make this new life workout was stemming from my fears again. At first it caught me off guard, and I was confused. I thought he was referring to the fact of my insecurities of dealing with children, but then I really thought about he was saying, and I froze. It wasn't expecting it. In my mind, I was doing all of this to pass down what I learn as a psych major and my job as a Behavior Technician, but I didn't realize this deep need to get this out of the way was coming from the broken childhood that I had.

It wasn't that long ago that I left emotionally toxic household to live with my close friends.

My shocked expression scared the hell out of Paul. He started apologizing profusely.

I shook my head, "no, its fine? I..just got caught off guard."

He looked at me with pleading eyes, "I'm sorry. I can be too blunt for my own good."

I shook my head again, "It's fine, Paul. It was actually needed, or else I would've kept going on and on to take care ourselves and our future."

I said sincerely, "I'm sorry, Paul. Even though I had good intentions, it-it all stemmed from the fact that..I don't us to go through what I went through…But.."

He said with a half-smile, "but it's not realistic. We may know everything to do everything right, but..there bound to be some mistakes along the way."

I laughed shyly, "yeah..you're right..We are bound to fight, argue, get stressed, get sad, and struggle, but…it'll be okay. We have each other."

He smiled gently, "yeah."

I still felt pretty upset with myself that I let this get carried away without realizing what I was doing. I need to stop beating myself up and be consumed with anxiety. It won't be good for my heart.

Paul growled lowly, "ay, no more of that."

He stopped and said gently, "but I like your plan and ideas. They are great, but we don't have all of this figure out now. We can do this one at a time like we have been doing since the pups are born, right?"

I nodded in agreement, "true"

He hummed, and he got up to go wash the dishes. I helped him wash the dishes, and he purposely splashed some water on me. I looked at him with a eyebrow raise, and he was looking everywhere but my eyes while whistling.

I laughed, and I asked teasingly, "is this your not-so-subtle way of you wanting to take a bath together?"

He said with a cheeky grin, "yup."

He pulled me closer, and he gave me a long kiss on the lips. Even though his hands were wet from washing dishes, he grabbed me from the behind. I squeaked a little in response. I broke the kiss, and I kissed him down on the neck.

I said softly, "let's go."

He purred, "my pleasure."

He dramatically scooped me up, and I yelped in surprise. He said, "shhh. We gotta be quiet, or else we wake them up."

I put my hands on my mouth as he chuckled. He walked quietly to the bathroom. He put me down to change out of my clothes as he got started filling up the bathtub. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I saw how much pregnancy changed my body. Besides the obvious filled out in my breasts, my legs were wider. I had cellulitis all over on my upper legs and there were some on my stomach too. I was caressing them slowly, and I was pondering deeply.

Well, I wasn't expecting to be this self-conscious of my body. I always thought myself 'different'. Like I won't become insecure of my body due to pregnancy. I know Paul will never leave me, and he'll love me regardless how I look because he sees the real me. However, what about me? Can I still accept this version of me? I-I think do. It's a price to take for having triplets, but I still look amazing from how well I recovered after post-childbirth. The thick lines of stretch mark finally left my stomach. Now, I only have a small pouch of fat in my lower abdomen, but I am not worried about that. A little belly fat isn't anything to worry about.

I don't want to fall into that mindset of having to go back to the body before I got pregnant like I have seen from many women. It's sad to see that so many women feel like they have this desperate need to get back their original body, or else she would be accused of being 'lazy' or 'not caring that their husband might have wandering eyes' and etc.

Stop.

I need to stop thinking negatively and overthinking about thus, or else I would start feeling down even to the point of being depressed. I didn't think that I would have these kinds of thoughts.

Paul came behind me and wrapped his arms around me. His warm body pressed against me, and I just smiled instinctively from his physical touch. He murmured, "Even though you already had an amazing body, I love what pregnancy did to you. It just filled you out even more, so it is more for me to caress."

I said coyly, "oh, yeah?"

He nodded as he nipped me on the neck gently, "yeah…come."

He gently pulled me to the bathtub. I let him bathe me, and it felt intimate. It's been a while since we were this intimate, so I longed for it dearly. I was laying across his chest as I cuddled up to him. I felt a slow rumble of his purr relaxing me. I looked up, and his eyes was blazing silver.

He sighed exaggeratedly, "I really want to make love with you right now, but you are still healing. Sue would have my head if I don't follow through her nurse advice. Even though from the outside, you look okay. The inside, you still need some more healing up to do."

I responded sadly, "yeah…but it doesn't mean I can't pleasure you."

He paused, and he said with a beaming smile, "oh, yeah?"

I nodded with a gentle smile. I leaned forward to kiss him passionately on the lips. It was great to be able to get this close to Paul without my pregnant belly getting in the way. He was slightly moaning in his mouth and deepened the kiss. he lowered my head backward, so that he can kiss me more on an angle. He was nibbling and biting my lips with intense desire. I felt his arousal through our bond as he was feeling my arousal too. It only sped up the intensity of kissing.

We stopped when Paul froze. He sighed deeply, and he said sadly, "Lucas woke up. I can hear him crying, and Evangeline is about to stir up from her deep sleep."

I said, "okay, I can get up and take care of them, so you can take care of your need. Sorry I didn't get to chance to take of it for you, carino."

I looked at his erection, and he looked down at it and laughed. He said between his laughs, "it's fine, hon. ..Not like I never gave myself a hand job."

I chuckled lowly as I gave him another cheek on the lips before I got up from the bathtub. I changed into his T shirt and my pajama shorts. Lucas needed a diaper change while Evangeline was getting hungry. I got them situated as Paul came out of the bath, and he went to check on Mateo. He was soundly asleep. and he didn't even budged when his siblings were awake. He is such a deep sleeper. Paul couldn't help but laugh when he saw that. We took care of the babies, put them to bed as we went to bed as well. I went to bed cuddling close to him with him nuzzling me at the cheek, purring in content.

It wasn't for long when I heard my phone buzzing. At first, I wasn't sure what it was, but it kept on buzzing persistently. I heard Paul grumbling and he said roughly, "who is it?"

I didn't respond to my tiredness, and I flipped my phone to see.

…it was Bella. I am not surprised.

Paul crawled over me to see who it was calling, and when he saw who it was, he growled menacingly.

I shushed Paul through my wide yawns, "it-it's fine, carino. I was expecting a call from her for some time now. I am more surprised that she hadn't called me earlier."

I asked drowsily, "imma go take this call. Can you take care of the babies if they wake up?"

He said, "of course…but I can't promise that I'll keep my cool if she starts saying some shit to you."

I replied, "that's okay, Paul."

He nodded wearily as I drowsily got up from the bed, slipped a bath robe and walked toward the living room to talk to her a little more comfortably.

Author's Note:

To Twin68: At first when I read your comment, I was honestly very confused. So I looked back and reread the chapter to see what exactly you were referring to, slowly I was able to see what you were talking about. Sometimes I expect people to understand without explanation, and I forget that not everyone sees things like I do and instantly understand them like I do. I gotta explain lol. So, no worries! You're fine. I am glad you feel very close to this story.

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I might post tomorrow, but latest Friday evening!

As always, reviews are very much appreciated.