Chapter 9: Mad Hatter Wackford's Mad Tea Party
After meeting with the Cheshire Fizzarolli, Blitz soon finds himself at an odd looking house that has a red and white stripe roof, and red and white color walls and windows. In fact, it actually looks more like a circus tent if anything. It even has a few flags on the roof.
"Hmm, maybe this is the March Loo Loo's house," Blitz wonders.
Blitz then hears laughter and excitement. He opens the gate that leads to the back room and walks inside. To Blitz's shock, he can see so many different tea pots of different shapes, sizes, and colors on the table. To make it more surprising, they all seem to be moving on it's own, pumping out steam as they whistle a tune.
"What the fuck is going on here?" Blitz asks himself, confused.
"Hey hey, welcome welcome welcome!" Someone shouts with excitement.
Blitz turns his head to see an Imp that actually looks like Wally Wackford, only he has a large black hat that has the paper that is written 10/6. On the side. Sitting on one chair, is the Loo Loo Mascot, but is wearing a red tie, and a black vest, and is holding a tea cup in his hand. On the other side of where the mascot is, well, much to Blitz's surprise is Octavia who has her headphones on wearing alack vest under a pink dress with white stars on it, and it appears she is fast asleep.
All three are each sitting on a chair at a table that has a lot of empty seats around.
The one looks like Wally Wackward says, "Hello there, names Mad Hatter Wackford, and I see you have come to our little Tea Party uninvited. Right next to me is the March Loo Loo."
"Howdy there. I'm the March Loo Loo," The being looking like Loo Loo says.
Then Mad Hatter Wackford turns to the owl, "And this here is the Door Owl. Although, with her listening to music, you might not get a conversation here."
Then March Loo Loo says, "Also, as you can see here, we don't have room for you."
"What do you mean, there's plenty of room here," Blitz says.
"Well, it's very rude to come over here without being invited," Mad Hatter Wackford says.
Door Owl says in a depressed tone, "Yeah. Very rude."
"Well, sorry, I didn't mean to barge in at your exclusive party. I'll just be on my way," Blitz says, and about to leave.
But the Mad Hatter Wackford jumps off his seat and lands in front of Blitz, "Hold on there good sir, you just got here. You should sit down and join us for some tea."
He then drags Blitz and places him on the seat.
"Now then, allow one of my little gadgets. The Walking Tea Pot to pour you some tea," Mad Hatter Wackford says.
Blitz turns his head to see a tall pink teapot walking towards him on its legs. Then pour some tea into a white tea cup. Then a small bow with sugar cubs walks over to Blitz. Then it pours a lot of sugar into the cup that the tea isn't in sight.
"Uh thanks," Blitz says.
Then mutters, "Although, I'm not much into tea."
Blitz then tries to take a sip of the tea, but all he can taste is more sugar and less tea.
"So then my good sir, what brings you to our special Unbirthday party?" March Loo Loo asks.
"Unbirthday party?" Blitz says, confused.
"Yeah. You know how there is one birthday that you celebrate every year?" March Loo Loo questions.
"Uh yeah," Blitz replies.
Then Mad Hatter Wackford says, "But there are 364 Unbirthdays. Which is why there's a lot more to celebrate. Which means, we get to have a party for 364 days."
"That's a lot of parties," Blitz comments.
"I know right," March Loo Loo says, and begins laughing.
Then asks, "But on to other subjects? How long are your horns cause your horns are very long? Maybe you should shorten them a bit."
"Hey… I happen to like my horns thank you very much," Blitz says, starting to feel a bit offended.
Then Mad Hatter Wackford asks, "And what about those blotches that are on your face and on your tail. They do look rather off. And the one on your face makes you look like a dalmatian or something."
Blitz narrows his eyes with a glare and questions, "Are you fuckin' mocking me?"
"Not at all, but I do think you should try a new outfit, try to have more white on your clothes," Mad Hatter Wackford says, rubbing his mustache with his two fingers.
"Alright, I just had enough of you guys. If you got something to say to me then fuckin say it," Blitz says, annoyed and patience running thin.
March Loo Loo then says, "I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject."
"Oh yea. Like what?" Blitz asks.
The Mad Hatter Wackford then questions, "Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?"
"What?" Blitz says confused.
Door Owl then repeats, "He said, 'Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?' It's a riddle."
"A riddle?" Blitz says, confused.
Then begin to think and says to himself, "Hmm, why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?"
Blitz begins to think as hard as he can, trying to figure out the riddle. Who is a Raven like a Writing Desk. He imagines the black raven with the writing desk together, trying to think of what they two have in common. He thinks for the longest time and he isn't able to come up with an answer. Blitz clutches his head with his hands and grits his teeth in frustration, trying to solve the riddle.
Mad Hatter Wackford then asks, "So, have you solved the riddle yet?"
"No. No I haven't…" Blitz answers, frustrated.
Then asks, "I give up. So what is a raven like a writing desk?"
"Beats me, even I don't have the answer," Mad Hatter Wackford answers, shrugging his shoulders.
Then bring out more cups of tea, "Care for more tea."
"I didn't exactly have much tea, more less a mouth full of sugar," Blitz says, and sticks his tongue out.
March Loo Loo then says, "Well then, if you don't want any tea, maybe a conversation can help."
"Since you brought that up, how about you tell me where Moxxie Rabbit is, or at least tell me how to get out of this place," Blitz says.
"Well, it depends on where you want to go," Mad Hatter Wackford says.
"You can go anywhere as long as you're able to leave the party," March Loo Loo says.
Blitz facepalm his face and says, annoyed, "That's not what I meant. I just want to find Moxxie Rabbit or at least a way out of this backward place."
"Depends on how you plan on getting out of here," March Loo Loo says.
Then the Mad Hatter Wackford asks, "So do you want some more tea, or even cake."
Blitz groans, "No thanks. I think I'm going to leave before my head explodes."
Blitz gets up off of the seat and leaves. The two beings shrug their shoulders and continue their celebration. After leaving the insane tea party, Blitz decides that he has enough of this insane place and is walking to who knows where and find a way out of Wonderland and find Moxxie and Millie himself.
"Well, I have just about enough of this shitty place. I'm going back home, straight home," Blitz says to himself and walks down the path with frustration and his patience thin.
He continues to walk down the path as he says, "This is fuckin stupid. Who cares where this Moxxie Rabbit is going anyway. I just want to get out of this insane place and get back to Loonie."
Blitz continues to walk down the path and has been walking around for a while now. In fact, he's been trying to follow different paths to find a way out of this Topsy Turvy world, find Moxxie and Millie, and get back Hell, but so far, he isn't able to find a way out. Soon, Blitz becomes exhausted and decides to sit down on a stump in a small clearing.
Suddenly, he hears a familiar robotic laughter, "Mua ha ha ha ha hoho-oh!"
Followed by a familiar voice, "Is that the Imp who I met sometime ago, what brings you to these neck of the woods."
Blitz stands up in surprise and turns around to see the Cheshire Fizzarolli laying front on the branches of the tree.
"Oh, it's you. Where do you come from?" Blitz asks, a little surprised.
"Of course I did. Who do you expect, Moxie Rabbit for chance," Cheshire Fizzarolli remarks.
"No, not this time around. I just want to find a way out of this way," Blitz says, feeling a little depressed and his arms crossed.
"Kind of obvious that you have no way. It's always the queen's way around here," Cheshire Fizzarolli says with an evil way.
Blitz tries to ignore the robotic at, "Well too bad. I never met your so-called queen and I doubt I ever will."
"Really now? I think you must. The queen and king will be mad about meeting you, simply mad. I think you should head to the castle if you want to meet them," Cheshire Fizzarolli says, persuading Blitz to go.
Blitz turns his head to face the cat and asks, "How can I find them?"
"Well, some will go this way…" Cheshire Fizzarolli says, pointing to the left.
Then points to the right, "Some goes that way."
Then points to himself, "But for me, I have a shortcut…" Then pull the branch that lowers the bark of the tree.
To Blitz' surprise, there is a secret door within the tree, and can see a large hedge tunnel with a large castle.