A Certain Scientific Vampire Killer
Chapter 19: I Will Survive
My eyes were both completely closed as I could not look at anything that was in front of me right now, I tried to open them and wake up from the nightmare I was experiencing again and again but they wouldn't budge in the slightest. However, even though I could not see with my own two eyes right now, I knew that everything has reset once again. It wasn't because my other senses were heightened or anything like that no it was far simpler than that. I instinctively knew everything had restarted from zero for the third time already since I had a connection with the vampire who was using his own ability on me, everyone else, and Academy City as a whole.
I did not know the specifics or anything about how I gained a connection with the Vampire Emperor Franz Ferdinand, it only just popped out of nowhere after I encountered him in the massive desolate castle that was the home of the late fake Vampire Emperor Linkin Park. But for some reason, that feels wrong too, it was almost like I and the true Vampire Emperor have encountered each other long before that dreadful night where everything in my life had changed for the worse once again to my dissatisfaction. Regardless, I knew that the entire night and everything that happened in it had reset to the beginning of the night like it was all just some bad dream that children experience when they are young and easily scared by the outside world.
However, that was wrong as well, because what was happening in the outside world was not some dream that would just end out of nowhere and would then be summed as some nightmare only to be forgotten not long thereafter. No, everything that was happening in the world that was locked up from the outside which I didn't have the key to open them anymore, was the harsh and cruel truth that is known as reality. And no matter how much I tried to desperately open the metaphorical doors that prevented me from opening my eyes again, they wouldn't budge at all, no matter how much I tried to claw those doors open with my own fingers again and again.
It was all to no avail because even though I tried again and again for so many times that I easily lost count of how many times exactly that I tried to claw open the metaphorical doors that were blocking my escape that would lead me back to the real world, they just wouldn't open. I couldn't do anything, anything in the slightest to open them again since I didn't have a key to open them anymore, I lost that too. So, there was simply nothing that I could do but experience the nightmare that awaited me in my dreams as I now realized for the very first time in my entire life up to this very point that I was truly and hopelessly powerless.
What could I do? What could I do? What could I do? I repeated that question in my very own mind endlessly as I sought out desperately for an answer that would never come. No matter how much I wished to be free from the world that I was trapped inside of against my own will, there was nothing at all that I could do to escape it, let alone help out my friends who are trying so hard to survive the never-ending night that they are trapped inside of too. So then, the question that I'm left with is what am I supposed to do inside of a world that I didn't belong inside of, that truly hated me and ruthlessly tortured me all because of the sins that I have committed in my past?
That answer was utterly obvious as well all I can do is to endure the suffering that I had to atone for because of my own past again and again for the rest of eternity as I know it. Yes, the world that I'm trapped inside of for the rest of my existence is the exact same place where my childhood home was located and all of the misery that came with it. I would have had fond memories of my past if it wasn't for that night that marked the end of my childhood as I knew it forever and ever.
That night repeated again and again inside my very own mind without an end in sight. However, I knew that there would be no end no matter how much I wished for it to the point of desperation repeatedly again and again for the end of that nightmare and my own death. After I experienced that night for the second time, I did not lose hope, I tried to escape with all the willpower that I had in my being. After experiencing that night for the tenth time, I still did not lose hope, I kept trying to escape the hellish world that I was trapped inside of so that I could give my friends a chance, just a chance to survive the never-ending night that awaited them for the rest of their own lives.
However, no matter how much I tried to reassure myself that there is still some hope left, that I could actually defeat the Vampire Emperor Franz Ferdinand and save my friends like some kind of superhero from a children's Anime series, bits and pieces of that hope that was inside of myself was lost with every repeat of that night. After experiencing that night for the fiftieth time without any break at all in between the times that same night repeated inside of my mind, I lost all hope. I lost all hope that this hellish world would actually end and that I would be able to return to my friends that I held so dear in my heart and that I loved with every fiber of my being.
Even though that I lost all hope for an escape from the hellish world that I was trapped inside of, that night would not stop repeating and that is when I began to learn how powerless that humans really are. I'm just a fifteen-year-old girl, I wasn't even an adult nor did I have anything that resembled obligations that an adult would be forced to overcome whatsoever, I was just barely a teenager that hasn't even gotten close to entering the harsh life that adults knew very well of. But, I didn't even feel like a teenager right now, I felt like a child who did not know how to do simple things like riding a bike or cleaning the dishes, all I felt was a sheer lack of power and a never-ending sense of despair.
Why should I, Aisa Himegami, just a regular and normal girl, should have to be suffering this much again and again when she isn't even an adult yet?! I repeated that question repeatedly within my own mind as I couldn't help but ponder on why I was given such a cruel and harsh fate. But, that answer was again, just like the other questions that I thought of previously within the hellish landscape of my mind, all too simple. Yes, the reason that I'm suffering without an end in sight, inside of a world that only existed for a single night in my life that I tried to forget since all it brought me was painful memories was all because I'm a murderer, it was that simple.
However, no matter how much despair I was feeling along with the sense of utter powerlessness that I was experiencing for the very first time in my life up to this point, that night still continued. That night kept repeating again and again even though it defied all the limitations of a dream and all of the logic that existed within the human mind, it just wouldn't end, and that is when I began to think that I should just die. And then, after experiencing that night for the hundredth time, that was in succession with all the other times that I was forced against my own will to go throughout that hellish world, I was utterly convinced that I should just die already.
If I had to experience that same night of my life that ended my childhood the one hundred times, it was safe to assume that it wouldn't stop there and that it would continue to happen again and again without my consent whatsoever. Yes, so it was only natural that if I had to undergo the single worst night of my life for one hundred times without an end in sight at all, that I would have the desire to die and cease to exist. No human, let alone a young girl that isn't even an adult yet, shouldn't have to experience the worst night of their entire life for all of eternity, it was such a harsh and cruel fate for anyone to bear.
Unfortunately, having to experience that night for the rest of my existence was not the only thing that came along with the fate that I was bestowed with against my own will. If all I had to do was walk throughout that hellish world again and again, at least I would be able to nullify all of my emotions eventually and that I would be able to one day forget the friends that I made on the outside world and then stop thinking altogether. However, even with all of that misfortune and despair that I had to undergo repeatedly with no end in sight and all of the misery that came with it, even all of that was not enough!
After I had experienced that night so many times repeatedly again and again to the point that I lost count of how many times that I had actually undergone it, only then did I start to see visions. However, these visions were not hallucinations or anything resembling a fever dream, no, if they were all not real then I would be able to ignore them and continue walking throughout the hellish landscape that only existed with my own mind. But then, after I had walked throughout that hellish world for an inexplicable number of times, doing the same exact things over and over again which meant killing all of the vampires that were once my neighbors that were from my hometown, visions that were glimpses of the outside world started to appear within my mind.
However, those glimpses into the outside world were not fond memories of fun and trivial things that I once experienced with my friends, that would be a blessing and I did not deserve such a thing called kindness. These glimpses were handpicked events that were happening in the outside world as I walked throughout the hellish landscape of that night which ended my childhood and that only existed within my own mind. But, these glimpses which were the only way that I would be able to somewhat see what was happening in the world that was forever locked from me for eternity, were not pleasant in the slightest.
No, if someone were to call these glimpses remotely pleasant, then that person would have been utterly insane. Because these glimpses were not just moments that were happening in the real world, if that was the case then I wouldn't have to be scared of them and I would be able to smile at them or at least ignore them. No, that's wrong these glimpses were specifically chosen events that I had to see against my own will to make me experience even more suffering than what I was feeling already. Since all of the glimpses that I was able to see were of innocent people dying in many horrific ways.
I was forced to see without any chance of not witnessing them at all the deaths of many people from Academy City, who were being brutally and mercilessly murdered by the vampires that are in the outside world with them. Just having to watch people that I did not know being killed without any chance of survival whatsoever was utterly heartbreaking. And even though I may have seen them once or twice on the streets and didn't have a single conversation with them, I still cried again and again for all of the people that were murdered by the vampires that were killing them ruthlessly and without any mercy in the slightest.
Even still, after seeing all of those innocent people that I may or may not have ever seen before in my entire life up to this point in time be absolutely annihilated, that wasn't what broke me. No, if that was the worst that I was forced against my own will to witness, then that would have been a blessing in disguise for someone who has completely lost the will to live. Because, after having to repeat that night which ended my childhood forever, and having to watch countless innocent people die in such brutal and merciless ways, what utterly broke me was what came after all of that.
After all of the horrifying torture that I had to undergo, the endless suffering that I was forced to experience, and the never-ending misery that I could only watch and not do a damn thing about, only then did I see my friends. Yes, my precious friends that I held so dear to my heart and that I loved with every fiber of my being were being brutally murdered within the glimpses that I was able to see with my eyes in the hellish landscape. But, these glimpses were not fake or anything resembling fiction, they were real events that were happening in the outside world, and I couldn't do anything, anything at all to help them whatsoever.
I didn't want to see it, if I were given the opportunity I would have clawed my eyes out with my own two hands so that I wouldn't have to see my friends being killed. However, it was futile, because I was forced to witness the deaths of all of my beloved friends that cared about me without a chance of avoiding them at all. And having to see Frenda, who I only recently met but by being together for long periods of time within these past couple of days I was able to form an everlasting friendship with her, having to watch her being killed, without being able to do anything about it in any way that was what utterly broke me.
However, Frenda wasn't the only person that I was forced to watch being obliterated with my eyes within the hellish landscape of that night which marked the end of my childhood forever. No, it just wasn't enough to see one of my best friends die, wasn't it? Because I was also forced against my own will to watch some of the most precious people I have met up to this point in my life be killed as well. Seiri, Tsukuyomi, and even Toma were utterly murdered by the vampires that were being commanded by the Vampire Emperor Franz Ferdinand to completely destroy Academy City and then the world as I once knew it too.
The deaths of my precious friends didn't just happen once, that wasn't enough either, because even they repeated just like the hellish landscape that I had to walk through again and again in that night from my past! I couldn't do anything! I couldn't do anything! I couldn't do anything! I couldn't do anything to help my friends in any possible way even if it was just for a few extra seconds! I'm completely powerless! I'm completely powerless! I'm completely powerless! I'm so absolutely powerless that I can't do anything for any of my friends that have all given me nothing but kindness! I was losing my mind.
I realized that humans, no, that's wrong I realized that I, Aisa Himegami am a completely powerless individual who could do nothing but watch her friends die again and again repeatedly forever and ever! That was the only thing that I could do and I hated myself for it! I hate myself! I hate myself! I hate myself! Why the hell am I even alive?! For what purpose does Aisa Himegami have for continuing to live? There is no reason! There is no reason! There is no reason! I wasn't born for any reason other than the fact that my mother gave birth to me so why the hell am I still alive?! I was completely losing my mind.
I don't have a reason to be alive I don't even have a purpose to continue living if all I can do is watch my friends die! I have no purpose! I have no purpose! I have no purpose! There is no purpose for me to continue living if all my friends will just die and that I can't do anything at all to help them survive! Hell, even if my friends don't die now, they will all still eventually die later! All of my precious friends! Seiri! Toma! Tsukuyomi! Frenda! Even Nanoha! All of my friends that I loved so much will eventually die no matter what because that is the fate of all human beings so what is the point of continuing to live if one day they will all be dead?! I finally completely lost my mind.
If all of the people that I cared about and wanted to protect and be alongside for the rest of my life will all just die one day, then I shouldn't be alive anymore! I want to die! I want to die! I want to die! The only wish that I have left is for me to just die already! If I can just die then this nightmare will end! It will end! It will end! It will end! It will finally all end because Aisa Himegami will no longer be alive anymore! I really want to die! I really want to die! I really want to die! If I can just die already then I don't have to be alone anymore and I can join my friends and we can all go to heaven or hell or anywhere but here then I won't ever have to be alone ever again! There isn't any hope left at all.
Hope is just some lie that is told to children to get them to behave! It's a lie! It's a lie! It's a lie! Hope never existed and it was all just a fucking lie! All that ever existed was despair! Life is nothing but despair! Life is nothing but despair! Life is nothing but despair! There is no point at all in being alive if it is all just despair! There is no reason to live if anyone can't truly be saved from their own fates! And if humans can't save anybody at all then all we can do is just die at the very end! So what is the fucking point to continue to live if all my friends will eventually die and I have to watch them die with my own eyes?! There was never any hope, to begin with. All that ever existed was misery, death, and despair, so why am I still alive?
"That is enough! Just stop repeating all of that nonsense and just shut up already, Aisa-chan!" A familiar voice said with a very harsh voice as I was giving in to my despair and accepting my own fate. That voice! I know who that voice belongs to but that's impossible! There is no way that she can be here because I'm supposed to suffer alone for the rest of my existence in absolute and never-ending despair!
"I know that I told you to stop repeating that utter nonsense and bullshit! So I will repeat myself just one more time! Shut the hell up already, Aisa-chan!" That familiar voice said with the exact same tone of her voice as she then proceeded to appear right in front of me in some inexplicable way that I couldn't explain even if I tried to. I then saw a certain short, pink-haired loli wearing a pink dress along with a light-pink jacket. It's her! I can't believe it, but it's her!
"No way? That's impossible! Is that really you, Tsukuyomi?!" I said with an utterly dumbfounded expression on my face while my jaw hit the floor in sheer surprise. However, Tsukuyomi was not happy. In fact, Tsukuyomi was more pissed off than I have ever seen her before in my entire life. Wait, huh? I don't understand? Why is Tsukuyomi here and this mad all of a sudden?
"Finally! You finally stopped repeating all of that utter nonsense and bullshit! It took you long enough! Now, grit your teeth, because I'm not holding back, Aisa-chan!" Tsukuyomi yelled at the top of her lungs while she made a fighting stance, and as she stared directly into my eyes. And then with all the power that she had in her small body, Tsukuyomi decked me in the face with her right fist! It was a direct hit! But why the heck did Tsukuyomi just punch me?
"OW! Ah! Ah! Ah! That really hurts! Tsukuyomi, why did you just punch me all of a sudden?!" I said with a shocked expression on my face while I cupped my right cheek that took the full force attack of Tsukuyomi's right fist with my own hands, as I was on the ground after receiving what could have been a knockout punch on a wrestling match on the TV.
"What the hell do you mean why did I punch you all of a sudden, Aisa-chan?! I made that answer quite clear from the very start! I punched you because all you have been doing is saying all of that utter nonsense and bullshit about yourself! So, as your teacher, I'm here to teach you a lesson about never to say such bullshit like there is no hope and only despair! So get ready for your lesson, because it's starting now whether you like it or not, Aisa-chan!" Tsukuyomi said with a very pissed-off expression on her face while she was pointing towards me with one of her fingers, as I was still on the ground after I had experienced a direct hit to the face by Tsukuyomi.
"Uh? Huh? What? What did you just say? Hold on, did you just say that it is bullshit to say that there is no hope and only despair?! What the hell are you even trying to say?! You said that all you have been hearing was me saying things like there is no hope and only despair and that it was all bullshit?! Did you even listen to me in the first place? Well, did you?! Hey, answer me already! Answer me already, Tsukuyomi!" I yelled at the top of my lungs with a very pissed-off expression of my own on my face while I glared right back at Tsukuyomi for saying that everything I just said was bullshit.
"Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! You are such an idiot, Aisa-chan! Everything that you have been saying is not true at all! It's bullshit to believe that there is only despair and no hope! Of course, there is hope! There is hope because human beings have fought back against despair again and again in this entire world's history! If that can't be called hope then you are a complete dumbass, Aisa-chan!" Tsukuyomi said with that same pissed-off expression on her face while she continued to glare her eyes directly into my own eyes as she pointed towards me and still rebuked everything that I said in this hellish landscape that we are now both inside of right now.
"H-How?! How can you say that there is still hope after you and the rest of the people that I loved all died and received such horrible deaths?! How can you say that there is still hope when the entire human race as we know it is doomed to die no matter what?! How can you say that there is still hope when there was never any hope at all in the first place?! I don't understand! I don't understand! I don't understand! I don't understand anything that you are trying to say to me at all! If there is still hope, any hope in the slightest, then who the hell will save everybody?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs with a pained expression on my face while several tears dripped from my eyes and fell to the ground and vanished in the hellish landscape.
"I can't believe that you still saying all of that bullshit, again and again, Aisa-chan! There is still hope! There is still hope because everyone will be saved in the end! Do you really not understand why I know this?! Then I will answer your question and I will make it as crystal clear as possible so that you can understand it! You will save me, all of your friends, and everybody else! You will be the one, Aisa-chan, to save the entire human race and defeat the threat that is bent on destroying everything!" Tsukuyomi screamed at the top of her lungs right back towards me with a weak smile on her face while tears of her own dripped from her eyes and onto the ground and then proceeded to be erased within this hellish landscape.
"Me? You are saying that I, Aisa Himegami, will be the one to save the entire human race from the calamity that is threatening this entire world? That's complete bullshit! If I could have done anything, anything at all to save a single person, then I would do it in a heartbeat! But I can't save anybody at all because I'm powerless! I'm powerless! I'm powerless! I'm powerless! I'm so powerless that I wasn't even able to save Nanoha, or Frenda, or anybody else when they desperately wished for someone to save them! I can't do anything to save my friends let alone the entire human race so how the hell is you expecting me to save anybody, Tsukuyomi?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs again as many tears were now pouring from my eyes and onto the hellish landscape only to be erased within this nightmare world that demands only misery, despair, and then death.
My tears were falling from my eyes at a rapid speed. There were so many tears that I wouldn't be able to count them even if I tried. I don't think that I have ever cried this much in my entire life. I always used to joke around with my friends that Tsukuyomi had enough tears to flood an entire classroom, but it was all just a joke. I honestly never knew that humans could produce so many tears from their eyes, it seemed like it was all just a lie. But, I was crying so many tears in succession with each other that I didn't know whether to believe if they were real or not. But it didn't really matter if they were truly real or just a fragment of my imagination because soon they would be erased along with everything else too. It was all so that I and everyone else as well can have an end without any meaning in a world that never gave them a reason to exist in the first place!
"How do I know that you will be able to save everyone that is your question isn't it, Aisa-chan? That's easy! It's because you saved me! It might have felt like a few months ago since you were working so hard to protect your friends but you saved me on that day when that guy kidnapped me, don't you remember? It was a dark night, just like the one that this world is currently facing right now, and I was scared. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to be alive the next day, but even more than that I was scared that you would feel lonely if I died, Aisa-chan." Tsukuyomi said with a pleasant expression on her face while her voice became just like how I remembered it was, quiet and cute, as she was reminiscing on an awful event that happened in the past without any malice or hate in her voice whatsoever.
"T-Tsukuyomi? I don't understand?! Why are you reminiscing on such a terrible memory like it was something that should be cherished?!" I said with a bewildered expression on my face as I was still crying my eyes out while I was staring directly towards Tsukuyomi in total disbelief over what she is saying to me right now. What are you saying Tsukuyomi, you almost died?!
"Aisa-chan, please don't interrupt, I'm not finished talking just yet. You shouldn't interrupt your teacher when she is trying to tell you something very important, so just listen to me, ok? Now, where was I? Oh yeah! I was saying that I didn't want you to feel alone without me by your side. If my death were to make you feel very depressed and unhappy, then that would break my heart. I thought for sure that I didn't have a chance of survival, but I was fine with that. If it meant that if I were to die and that you would be able to live, see the next day, and be able to have fun for the both of us, then I was completely ok with dying. However, I was wrong, because something that I did not ever expect to happen actually happened. The same person that I thought wouldn't be able to do anything but run away from that big bad guy was actually the same person that saved me in the end from that villain and she defeated him to boot!" Tsukuyomi said with a cheerful expression on her face while many tears dripped from her eyes, but at the same time, her smile just grew bigger and bigger. She wasn't?! She couldn't have been referring to-
"Don't you remember now? I was able to survive and live to see tomorrow, because the person that saved me was you, Aisa-chan! You saved me, that is why I believe that you can save everybody else too! But, if you saving me is not enough proof to make you believe in yourself again, then I will remind you that I wasn't the only person that you saved. There was another girl that was short like me who was in a serious pinch that you managed to save as well! That girl's name is Frenda Seivelun, one of your best friends, right? I know that you saved her, but that's not all you did, you also told her to believe in you and that you will protect her so that she can live a long and fulfilling life!" Tsukuyomi said with a pleasant expression on her face while she spoke to me in such a calm and gentle voice, and as she revealed to me that she wasn't the only person that I managed to save and protect.
"W-What? H-How do you know that I saved Frenda, Tsukuyomi?! How could you even know that even though you weren't there?!" I said with a completely confused expression on my face while I was still crying so many tears from my eyes and onto the ground that would soon vanish without a trace as Tsukuyomi told me that she knew I saved Frenda, but that's impossible?!
"Huh? Oh, right, I understand now. Ha, it seems that I never told you what my Esper ability was, Aisa-chan. My Esper ability is called Memory Transference it allows me to receive the memories from another person's mind and allows me to know exactly what that person experienced within their own memories. It's not that useful of ability and it doesn't have any offensive power whatsoever, so it hasn't gotten me very far in my life. I never knew why I was born with such an irrelevant ability but now that answer is quite clear to me and I'm glad that I have it! I have the ability of Memory Transference all so that I could help you and make you believe in yourself again, Aisa-chan!" Tsukuyomi said with a cheerful expression on her face while she spoke to me with that gentle and kind voice of her as her tears kept dripping from her eyes and onto the ground but that still didn't erase her huge smile which kept growing with every second.
"Also, to clear up one more thing about my ability it also allows me to transplant my own soul into another person's mind so that I can communicate with them. But, I can't just go into any person's mind, it can only be with someone that I have a connection or bond with, and there are several conditions that must be met when I try to use that other part of my Esper ability. Even still, all the conditions were met with you, so it all worked out, Aisa-chan! That is the reason why I'm able to talk with you right now, as well as the reason why I know that you saved Frenda when she really needed your help the most! Don't you see now that since you saved both me and Frenda, you can save anybody and everybody as long as you believe in yourself, Aisa-chan!" Tsukuyomi said with a pleasant expression on her face as she stared directly towards my eyes and waited for my response.
"I'm sorry, Tsukuyomi, but I still don't believe that I can save anyone even if I put my all into it. I might have saved both you and Frenda in the past, but that doesn't really matter anymore. You died, Tsukuyomi, I saw your death within this hellish world that exists only in my mind. I could only watch you be mercilessly murdered before my eyes and I couldn't do a damn thing about it! The same thing happened with Frenda, as well as Toma, Seiri, and everyone else that I cared about too! I can't do anything as long as I'm trapped within my own mind! There isn't any way to escape this hell hole! I tried again and again to escape it but no matter how much I tried, it never worked, and I always failed in the end. I was doomed to repeat that night from my past for the rest of my existence all because I couldn't save Nanoha when she needed me the most!" I screamed at the top of my lungs again as I proceeded to fall to the ground.
"I don't understand? What are you talking about, Aisa-chan? You did save Nanoha in the past did you happen to forget about it? Here, grab my hand and let me help you remember the event when you saved Nanoha!" Tsukuyomi said with a cheerful expression on her face as she offered her own hand towards me in order to help me stand up again and remember something that I have forgotten. And then, I proceeded to grasp Tsukuyomi's right hand as I then remembered an event that happened in my past that I somehow forgot.
Sometime a year and a half ago in the past
It was a normal summer day, the heat was blazing onto my skin, and the cicadas were chirping very loudly. I wanted to get away from the heat that was exhausting me and the cicadas that were annoying me so I went into a nearby building. I didn't actually pay attention to the place that I walking inside of, because I was really desperate for some cool air that would refresh me. But then, I noticed that I ended up walking into a certain clothing store, and at that moment I realized that I could use a pair of some new clothes that would look cute on me. So, I decided to check out what cute clothes would make me look even more beautiful than I already was. And then-
"Please! This is all the money that I have left! Is there any way that you could let me have these clothes?! I haven't had any new clothes for so long! I can promise you that I will give you all the money that I have and give you more when I'm able to obtain more money! So please let me just have these clothes so that I could stop wearing the same thing every day!" A certain girl said with a pleading expression on her face while she begged the employee that was preventing her from obtaining the clothes that she desired.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Are you seriously asking me to just give you these clothes when you don't have enough money?! Are you retarded or something?! Don't you know that this world runs on money?! I also get paid with that money and when I'm don't receive enough money then I ain't able to buy all of the Sake that I want! So, there is no way in hell that I'm going to just let you walk out of this store with those clothes unless you pay for them in full! Do you understand now, you little brat?!" The store employee said with a grimace on his face while he spoke to the girl with a very harsh voice as held the clothes that the girl desired in his hands.
"Excuse me. It appears that you are mistaken, Sir. You should look and check the amount of money again because whatever this girl's name actually does give you the full amount of money that was requested." I said with as much of a polite voice that I could muster for the rude, fat employee that stood in the girl's way. I didn't understand the reason why I jumped in to give some extra money to a girl I never met. I just summed it up as me wanting to help her out when the girl didn't have enough money to pay for the clothes that she wanted. Along with the fact that the store employee was being very mean to her and I couldn't stand it.
"Huh? Are you trying to say that I actually miscounted money?! How could you expect me to miscount something like the money that I'm going to receive?! Why you, little brat-eh? What? T-The money, it was a pain in full? And there is also a little bit extra too?!" The employee said to me with a grimace on his face as he stared daggers towards me but then his expression changed into one of surprise as he discovered that the girl did pay for the clothes with the correct amount of money. It seemed like the rude, fat man didn't even notice that I jumped in and placed some money on his desk when he was ranting towards the girl.
"Yeah, that's exactly right! So I would also like to throw in this Red Bandana along with the rest of these clothes so that there isn't any money wasted on the likes of you! Now, do your damn job and give these clothes to the girl that rightfully she paid for them!" I said with a pissed-off expression on my face while I pointed one of my fingers towards the rude, fat employee that was insulting the girl who I still didn't even know her name yet.
"Oh whoops. I lost my temper on that guy. I mean, I'm glad that I helped out that girl, but I didn't even know her. Maybe, I shouldn't have even bothered if it was going to get me banned from that store. Eh, oh well, I guess I will just go to some other place where air conditioning." I muttered to myself because a few minutes earlier I was banned from the clothing store for talking so bluntly to that store employee. It seems that I can't just say what I want to say, haha. I thought to myself as I was about to walk away from the clothing store, but then-
"Hey! Wait up! Just hold on for a second!" The girl yelled as she proceeded to run towards me in an effort to prevent me from getting too far away from her.
"Huh? Oh yeah! You are that girl from earlier! Hey, whatever your name is, do you mind if I check out what kind of cute clothes that you bought for yourself, I'm kind of curious?" I said with a smile on my face while I walked towards the girl and looked at her for the first time in my life or so I thought. The girl had brunette hair that reached to her shoulders and she was wearing some clothes that looked like they have been worn every day for a few weeks and didn't look like they had been washed at all recently. It also appeared that there were some stains on them.
"Eh? Huh? Hey! I know that you want to look at these clothes but you shouldn't just try to snatch them out of my hands even if you helped me pay for them! Also, my name is not 'whatever your name is it's Nanoha Nakamura! N-A-N-O-H-A, so don't you go forgetting it any time soon, whoever you are!" The girl named Nanoha said with a pissed-off expression on her face while she nagged about my careless choice of words towards her. Nanoha? Why does that name sound strangely familiar? Well, if I can't remember, I guess it doesn't matter.
"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I understand! Just let me check out what cute clothes you got for yourself! I can't help it! I'm honestly interested in your choice of clothes because of how cute you are so let me check them already! Also, my name isn't 'whoever you are' it's Aisa. My name is Aisa Himegami. I'm pleased to meet you, Nanoha!" I said with a cheerful smile on my face while I snatched the bag of clothes out of Nanoha's hands in order to see them for myself.
"Aisa? Your name is Aisa Himegami?! But, that cannot be-I-I mean why the hell are you calling me cute all of a sudden to a girl you only just met?! You are weird, Aisa!" Nanoha said with a pissed-off expression on her face as she then proceeded to flick me in my own forehead in retaliation for calling her cute earlier. I understand now that the only reason she did that was as a defensive tactic because she already knew me long before that day.
"OW! That hurt! Why did you just flick me on my forehead after I gave you a genuine compliment?! Are you some kind of tsundere or something, Nanoha?!" I said with a pained expression on my face while I rubbed my forehead that was stinging from Nanoha's finger flick onto it as I proceeded to point one of my fingers towards her and I then made an accusation that Nanoha Nakamura is actually a tsundere!
"Eh? Huh? What? What did you just say to me? Let me make this crystal clear so that you will understand it no matter what! I'm NOT a tsundere! The only reason I finger flicked you was because you startled me and that's all!" Nanoha said with a blushing expression on her face while she snatched back the bag of clothes from my hands and into her hands.
"Oh. I see that makes sense. You must be younger than me aren't you, Nanoha? I don't why I didn't realize that from the start. Ha, so does that mean I can call you Kouhai? I don't mind calling you Nanoha, but Kouhai just seems to fit you better, since you are younger than me after all!" I said with a smile on my face while I stuck my tongue out towards Nanoha in retaliation for the finger flick that she gave to me. Ha! How do you like them apples?!
"What?! What was that?! We only just met and I told you my own name even though I didn't have to tell you it, but now you are trying to call me something else just because you think it sounds a bit better?! You are a jerk! You are such a jerk, Aisa!" Nanoha said with a pissed-off expression on her face as she then proceeded to rush towards me at blinding speed, probably in an attempt to finger flick me in the forehead again, but what she actually did was unexpected, to say the least.
"Tsk. Call me whatever you want. It's not like I'm going to see you again or anything so it doesn't really matter, I guess. Anyway, here's that Red Bandana that you threw in with my clothes. It is the least that I can do for you since you helped me pay for the clothes that I wanted." Nanoha said with a face that was bright red while she looked in the opposite direction of me as she then proceeded to hand over the red bandana that I put with her clothes when she purchased them.
"Oooh! I almost forgot! I did throw that in with your clothes, didn't I? Hmmm. Actually, I don't want it anymore. After giving it a second look, I don't think red is exactly my style, to be honest. So, instead of me having it, you should keep it for yourself. Yes, I think that Red Bandana would look really great on you! You would give off that you are some awesome girl that shouldn't be messed with but is also kind of cute too! I think that sums you up in a nutshell, Kouhai!" I said with a cheerful expression on my face as I proceeded to hand back the Red Bandana to Nanoha.
"Eh? A-Are you sure? I mean if you really want me to have it I guess I could just try it on. How does it look?" Nanoha said with a questioning expression on her face while she put the Red Bandana on her forehead as she then did a little twirl of her body and showed it to me on her.
"Hmmmmmm! Yes! I knew I was correct when I thought it looked good on you! So yeah, you should keep that Red bandana for yourself, it's a gift from me to you, Kouhai!" I said with a smile on my face while I looked towards Nanoha directly into her eyes with my own eyes.
"R-Really? You are giving this to me?! T-Thank you. Thank you so much! This is the first gift that I have ever received from someone, so thank you, Aisa!" Nanoha said with a cheerful smile on her face while she closed her eyes and thanked me for the Red Bandana again and again as I thought that was the first time I ever met Nanoha in my entire life. But, I was wrong.
"I-I was wrong. I thought that was the first time I ever met Nanoha, but I was wrong. I remember now. I remember everything that happened in my past. I remember all the good memories and all the bad memories too. I remember the time when I thought that I first encountered Nanoha and became friends with her. And I remember everything that happened before that day too. I remember everything that happened during that night and what led up to it. My very first memory of Nanoha. How? How could I have forgotten that very first time that I met Nanoha?!" I said with a very pained expression on my face while the tears kept flowing from my eyes, as I was now back in the hellish landscape that only existed within my own mind.
"Aisa-chan, you forgot everything that happened before that night and other parts that happened after it too due to the effects of Nanoha's ability Mind Erasure. It wasn't your fault that you forgot them in the slightest. But, now do you understand that you did indeed save Nanoha in the past? A few months after that night, when she was all alone and did not have anyone that she could stand alongside, you reappeared in her life. It was fate that you both met again it was all so you could give Nanoha the life that she always wanted. That Red Bandana is a symbol of the connection that you have with Nanoha, it is not only something precious to her, but it is the literal red thread fate that binds you to her." Tsukuyomi said with a gentle and kind voice as she explained how I saved Nanoha in a very easy and understandable way towards me.
"S-So that is the reason why Nanoha threw that Red Bandana towards me earlier. Nanoha tried to get rid of the red thread of fate that binds us together, by throwing that Red Bandana back to me. It was all so that she could try and save me from the Vampire Emperor Franz Ferdinand as she did on that night. B-But, it doesn't matter anymore because she died. Nanoha died again and I didn't do anything at all to save her! I could have done something, anything, to relieve her of the pain and agony that she felt, but I did nothing! I did nothing at all for the girl who tried to protect me again and again even if it costed her own life in the process!" I screamed at the top of my lungs again while the tears poured out of my eyes even hared than they did before.
"You are wrong! You are wrong, Aisa-chan! What you did for Nanoha meant everything to her! You were Nanoha's very first friend! You were the very first person who didn't try and use Nanoha for their own selfish wishes! You are the single most person that Nanoha loves the most! The person that you saved more so than anyone else was Nanoha Nakamura! And that's not the only thing you are wrong about, Aisa-chan! Nanoha is still alive! Nanoha is still alive and she is in a serious pinch now! And you are the only person that can save her again, Aisa-chan!" Tsukuyomi yelled towards me while she maintained her smile on her face as she told me that Nanoha has a chance to come back and survive.
"B-But how can I save her? It's impossible! I can't save Nanoha! I can't save you, Tsukuyomi! I can't save anybody while I'm stuck in this hellish world! There is nothing that I can do to escape my own mind! Nothing at all! I'm powerless! I'm powerless! I'm powerless! I'm so powerless that no matter how much I try, I can't even take the first step to save Nanoha and everybody else if I'm stuck inside of this hell hole for the rest of my existence!" I screamed at the top of my lungs again while the tears just kept flowing out of my eyes and I couldn't even do anything to stop them either! There is nothing that Aisa Himegami can do to save anybody!
"I'm so tired of you calling yourself powerless! You are not powerless, Aisa-chan! In fact, when you saved me from that vampire guy, you became the strongest person that I have ever met! You might not have absurd muscles or superhuman strength, but what you have is far stronger than anything those vampires possess! The strongest ability that Aisa Himegami possesses is not that Esper ability Deep Blood or anything else because your superpower that no one can match or ever hope to defeat is your willpower!" Tsukuyomi yelled again while maintaining that smile on her face as she pointed with one of her fingers towards me.
"Eh? Huh? What? Willpower is the strongest ability that I possess? But, that can't be true! There's no way that I have possession of any sort of willpower to accomplish anything! Don't you see, Tsukuyomi?! I gave up! I gave up! I gave up! I gave up on trying to save you, Nanoha, Frenda, Seiri, Toma, and everyone else a long time ago! So there is no way in hell that I possess enough willpower to overcome all of those vampires let alone escape out of my mind and be able to return to the outside world!" I screamed at the top of my lungs again while looking away from Tsukuyomi as I couldn't look at her anymore because she reminded me that I was powerless.
"Are you joking? You are really trying to lie to me, your teacher, Aisa-chan? Ha, didn't you ever learn that I could always tell when you are lying? You are lying right now. I know that you are lying because I know who you are better than anyone. I mean, I did look at all of those memories of yours, so I can easily tell when you are lying, Aisa-chan. And you are lying right now because you never gave up! Every time that you walked through this hellish world, you always thought about your friends! Every single time when you were being tortured and experienced an unimaginable amount of pain, you never once said that it hurts! Even when you saw me and everyone else die with your own eyes, your only wish was to save us all! You love and cherish everyone that you have ever met because Aisa Himegami is one of the kindest people to walk the Earth!" Tsukuyomi said with a very cheerful smile on her face while she walked up to me and then stared directly into my own eyes.
"You are right. You are exactly one hundred percent right, Tsukuyomi. All I want to do is save you, Frenda, Seiri, Toma, and especially Nanoha. That is my only wish from the bottom of my heart. But, then what do I do? What can I do to save all of the people that I care about everyone else too? What can I do to escape this hellish world that I'm trapped inside of for all of eternity?" I said with an expression that was brimming with bewilderment because I still didn't know how to escape my own mind and go back to the real world.
"Hahaha! I'm sorry I couldn't help but laugh a little bit because I thought the answer was obvious. But, it is really an easy question to answer, so I'll give you a hint! You are only getting one hint because I'm still your teacher and I can't just give you the answer to every single question. So here is your hint, what is the thing that Nanoha always blushes against and gets embarrassed about it every time she sees it on you, Aisa-chan?" Tsukuyomi said with a mischievous grin on her face as she pointed one of her fingers towards my face.
"Ha! Haha! Hahahahaha! Wow, I really am clueless aren't I? You were right again that answer was extremely easy to figure out, Tsukuyomi. The answer is my smile. My smile always makes Nanoha blush bright red every time she sees it, so that is my final answer. All I have to do is smile!" I said with a very bright smile on my face while the hellish world that I thought I was trapped inside of for all of an eternity cracked and crumbled into many pieces around both me and Tsukuyomi. That hellish red landscape was completely and utterly erased by the bright and cheerful smile of the girl named Aisa Himegami and was replaced with a world that was eternally blue and utterly peaceful.
"Congratulations! That was the answer that will open the doors to the outside world for you again, Aisa-chan! As long as you keep that cheerful smile on your face, the sun will rise again!" Tsukuyomi said with a bright smile on her face while clapping both of her hands as she looked directly up to me with her eyes because I was now flying into the metaphorical blue sky that only existed within my own mind.
As I was flying higher and higher into the bright blue sky, I saw many reflections of the people that made an impact on my life, the people that I cherished with all of my heart and every fiber of my being. I saw Frenda Seivelun. I saw Fukiyose Seiri. I saw Kamijo Toma. I saw my own parents, my father, and my mother, Shiki, and Rei Himegami respectively. I saw all of the people that mattered most to me within this eternally blue world that welcomed me with open arms. And just before I left that beautiful landscape, I saw the face of Nanoha Nakamura, my most cherished and best friend in the entire world.
Nanoha was smiling towards me. Nanoha's smile reminded me of the one that she gave me on that day I thought I first met her on but was actually our second encounter. It was a beautiful and bright smile that I swore from now on that I would protect no matter what. I would save Nanoha, Frenda, Tsukuyomi, and everyone else from the Vampires that were trying to destroy the people that I loved with all of my heart. I would defeat the Vampire Emperor Franz Ferdinand and all of the other vampires that tried to obliterate the world that I loved with every fiber of my being. I'm going to save everyone and the entire world too because I'm going to end this Night of Nights once and for all! Now, Aisa Himegami has regained her will to live and all of her willpower too as the Night of Nights continues!
Hey everyone! Ren Here! I know that this is earlier than I usually release chapters, but I was given the time to release this chapter after I finished writing the twenty-second chapter of this story which is the end of the main part of this story. However, there will be two epilogue chapters that will be released too, which means that there will only be five more chapters left of this story. Anyway, with this chapter, I wanted to showcase Aisa at her absolute lowest point and have everything around her fall apart. But then, when all hope appears to be lost, Tsukuyomi comes in to save the day and teach her a lesson about herself. I also wanted Aisa to finally be able to remember everything that happened in her past as she regains her will to live and vows to end the Night of Nights. As I said earlier, this story is coming to an end and the rest of the chapters should be posted by the end of next week but first Aisa has to defeat the vampire Aureolus Izzard and the giant monster terrorizing Academy City! I will try and get the next chapter out by this Friday. Get excited! Ren Out!