Chapter 4

I went ahead and took Bryan back to school. Charlie's surgery along with his father's began at nine, it would possibly be over by the time Bryan got out of school. I took Anna, Mira, and Isa back to Jennifer's. From here on out after the surgery they only allowed two adults maximum in the intensive care unit with Charlie or Ray. Most of my family left, and were on call if needed. Daddy stayed with me. Dana was the only other person with us in the waiting room. The first hour I thought something would go wrong. It was within that hour I had Dad just hold onto me.

"Daddy...I'm can't get a grip on this...I'm so scared."

"I know you are Harmione, but if something were to happen to Ray or Charlie; having it happen here in the hospital is the best place. They are surrounded by people who can give them immediate care. Think of it that way."

I nodded.

"Ben..." Dana spoke out.

"I know Charlie wanted Harmione to stay close to you...but perhaps it would be alright if Harmione and I went and got lunch together?"

"Is that what you want Harmione?"

"I'd rather stay here...but I know it'll only make me more nervous...I don't think I can handle five more hours of that...I guess she's right. Daddy...go on home...Dana and I will be alright."

"If you're sure."

"She and I have a lot in common right now."

"Alright babygirl...call me if you need me."

Dad kissed the side of my head and embraced me gently.

"Take care Dana."

"Thank you Ben."

After Dad left, Dana and I went out to eat. She paid for my meal in full. We sat across from each other in silence. I watched as she stirred her ice around in her tea.

"You know Harmione, Ray and I tried for eight years to get pregnant...can you imagine? Eight years of trying, and constantly filled with disappointment."

She smiled briefly.

"He was supposed to be a January baby you know? When he came in October I thought I did something wrong...but no, it was just his time...He was 17 weeks early, and he only weighed 2 pounds. Tiny little thing...you have your triplets so you can imagine the risks and the horrors Ray and I dealt with...those first few months were the hardest..."

I sighed softly as she spoke.

"When we discovered he had diabetes, we didn't think much of it...tons of people have it and live very healthy normal everyday lives...but Charlie had other problems...we took him to a specialist...they told us that not only could his body not produce insulin, half of his pancreas was under developed...well he had a minor surgery to correct that...and of course he's been on medication all his life...but there was a day Ray and I fought...It was the first day of giving Charlie insulin at home. I wasn't sure I could do it the way the nurses did. He screamed and hid from me. So one day I didn't give it to him. Ray hit me over it, yes mam, Ray's always been there for his boy...even if he had anger issues he was always there...just like he is today."

"He's a good man."

"He's not just a man...he's a father...for me as Charlie's mother I spent years keeping him away from other children his own age. I wanted to homeschool him, I wanted to keep him with me at all times...He was so fragile...I...I always thought I was a horrible mother for giving him his shots... And doing all that.

"You were only trying to take care of him."

"I know...my brain understood that...my heart couldn't bare it...He had seizures as a child...I was on edge all the time, but Ray was different."

"How so?"

"Well... Ray always thought whatever he did, he was doing it for the good of the boy. Ray never regretted much of anything he did or didn't do for Charlie. Not like I did. He always wanted a strong son. It took him years to see just how strong Charlie really was. Our differences caused a lot of turmoil but it never made Ray love his son any less. It was just..seeing Charlie in any kind of pain broke his heart and chipped away at him piece by piece...he grew more protective than I ever was."

She took a sip from her drink.

"We both knew one day today would come, and he told me...he said "Dana, whatever Charlie needs...I'm going to be the one to give it to him...even if I die in the process...Charlie will outlive me, I'll take his pain away and let him finally live the life I've always wanted for him." Now...now that they're both up there at the hospital...I couldn't ask for two better men in my life...my only husband...and the only miracle baby I ever had. I did think that if something happens to them I'd go mad. But...I...I want you to know I understand every bit of what you're feeling...and I see now that if something does happen; you and I have each other..."

She placed her hand on top of mine.

"Dana...I...I feel the same way."

She smiled at me. She had tears in her eyes.

"And I can't thank you and Ray enough for raising Charlie the way you did, and getting him this far...without everything you did he wouldn't be the man he is today...and he certainly wouldn't be alive. I have so much respect and love for you both."

"Thank you Harmione...and thank you for picking up where we left off. My baby boy never stopped smiling since the day he met you...He is a lot like his father you know...he'll never leave your side...ever...the four beautiful kids you have will never sit alone as long as Charlie is around. That's how much love we LeMay's have in our hearts. We doubt very little and truly believe togetherness and compassion for other human beings will get us through anything...You're a Tennyson but you're a true LeMay Harmione."

I teared up and cried. She cried with me. As long as I have been married to Charlie, she's never told me that before. After a little while, we were laughing and crying at the same time. We began to share such stories with each other. It was like I was talking to my own mom. I also felt Charlie's presence. It was warm, uplifting, and hopeful. I felt better about his surgery. He only had four and 1/2 more hours to go. He was going to be fine.

After lunch Dana went back to the hospital. I went back to school. There was a long line of cars ready to pick up their kids. I was the sixth or seventh car down. As I sat there I began to think about Bryan. He's just like his Daddy. He had a better start though. He didn't have any other health complications like Charlie did when he was born. He was a fighter though, just like his Dad. If Bryan as little as he is; has made it through everything so far, I knew Charlie would be alright. When school finally let out the cars moved very slowly.

It was then I saw that three foot eight little boy. He had a huge smile on his face. His blue and green backpack swished back and forth as he ran out the doors. He looked just like how I remember Charlie looking when he was that age. His beautiful mousy brown hair, those chocolate eyes; that Charlie has were glossed over with innocence and excitement. He grabbed the passenger side door handle and opened it with ease.

"Momma!"

"Hi Bryan!"

"Let'd go see Daddy! Hurry up!"

"We have to go pick up your sissys first." I replied and threw his backpack in the back seat.

"Awww...do we have too? I wanna see Daddy, please, please, please!"

"Well...I guess it wouldn't hurt they are only allowing two people at a time...okay Bry...let's go see if Daddy's out of surgery."

"Yay!"

I smiled.

On the way back to the hospital Bryan told me all about his day at school. He said a girl made him a card to make him feel better about his Daddy. He got a B on his spelling test. An A on his math quiz, and he even got to help Mrs. Watson pass out snacks during snack time today.

"No way she picked you?!"

"Yeah! And she hasn't picked me yet, but today I was next and I helped pass out the cookies and the milk!"

"That's great baby."

As we pulled into the hospital parking lot I glanced at Bryan.

"Okay Bry, time to get serious a minute...if they tell us we can't see your Daddy yet we have to respect that...if they tell us that Charlie or your grandpa are still in surgery, we might have to wait around a little longer so you have to be quiet okay?"

"Okay mommy."

"Okay."

I took Bryan by the hand to the ICU. Ray and Charlie were supposed to be placed there after surgery. The told us that Ray had been out of surgery for quite sometime and Dana was with him.

"Hello Mrs. LeMay, I'm Dr. Bohn. I'm a nephrologist, or kidney doctor. I study the kidneys and any diseases that affect them. I assisted our head surgeon Dr. Taylor and your general doctor Dr. Payton with both surgeries."

"Oh thank you so much Dr. Bohn, please call me Harmione and this is my son Bryan."

"Hello little one."

"Did you fix my Daddy?"

"Yes...yes we did. Thanks to your grandfather your Dad's life expectancy just went up. Harmione, I wanted to talk to you about his follow up care, he's going to have to take medicine for the rest of his life to ensure the kidney is stable and that his body doesn't attack the donor."

"Okay."

"Also he might still have trouble urinating for a few days...it'll take his body some time to recover from the trauma. We chose to do open kidney surgery which is very different than our laparoscopic surgery. Where we make a small incision near the naval. No, we had to make two very large incisions on both sides of his body. They start low on his side close to his stomach and move backward towards his lower back...they will heal and he will have severe scaring. They are about eight to 12 inches long. The tissue itself is currently stitched up. The stitches will evaporate over time so he won't have to have them out. We will need to see him in a week to make sure everything is going smoothly."

"I can't thank you enough for doing this...you saved my husband's life."

"He's a lucky man."

"Dr. Bohn." Bryan replied and tugged on his pants leg.

"Where is my Daddy?"

"He's currently being monitored. He went under just fine, but after being asleep so long our nurses are checking his vitals and giving him some pain medicine. We did the same with Ray. He should be ready to see you in about 15 minutes. Why don't you go see about your Grandfather?"

"No! I want my Daddy!" Bryan hollered.

"Bryan! I'm so sorry!"

"No, it's alright...speaking of children though; you have two others?"

"Three."

"Well Charlie won't be able to pick them up. In fact I forbid him from doing so until he heals. He's going to be very sore for a while."

"Yes sir."

Dr. Bohn left us with some more tips on how to care for Charlie. 15 minutes seemed like forever to Bryan. He began to cry.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"That mean doctor won't let us see Daddy and he said Daddy can't hug me!" Bryan sobbed.

"Awww baby, Daddy can hug you...he can't pick you up...and we are gonna see him...in just a few minutes."

"You said that a few minutes ago..."

"What's really got you so upset son?"

"I want my Daddy!"

He began to sob loudly. His little heart was broken.

"Oh come here baby."

Even though he was five, I picked him up like a baby and placed his head on my chest. I then began to sway with him. He was exhausted and tired of being so strong. I wished I could cry like that and have Charlie hold me. We drew attention of some other people. A nurse came by.

"What's wrong little one?"

"He's Dad had surgery today...and he really wants to see him."

"Bless him...I have some suckers at my station you wanna a sucker?"

"No!" Bryan screamed. "I want my Daddy! I want my Daddy!

"Awww." The nurse responded. She then stroked his back.

"I'm sure you'll see him soon." She replied before making her leave.

I swayed back and forth with Bryan. He loved Charlie more than I did I think. He and Charlie have had a special connection ever since he was born. It was hearing Charlie's voice on the radio. It was hearing him come in everyday. The sound of his truck. It got Bryan excited everytime. He was our first born. He was spoiled to time with his Dad alone. He looked up to him. Charlie taught him all he knows about being diabetic. Bryan was Charlie's little monkey, or his little man. They had one of the strongest father and son relationships I've ever seen.

"Bry...I know you want your Dad...but you're going to have to stop crying if you wanna see him...you know Daddy would hate to see you so sad."

He sniffled. I wiped his tears away and brushed his bangs back.

"Maybe when Daddy gets to feeling better he can take you fishing or something...huh?"

He just nodded and played with my necklace.

"Yeah..." I said and kissed his forehead.

Dana was right. Ray's always been there for Charlie. It rubbed off on him for him to be their for his own kids. I couldn't imagine my life without Charlie, but I knew for a fact Bryan would never be able to go on without his father.