Is this chapter long? Sort of. Are you really surprised? Probably not. Is there another chapter after this one? Funny you should ask, because there is.
Chapter IV: The Last Straw
In the week since the datapad incident, Ahsoka had been careful about her actions. Trying her best to win some points for good behavior and maintaining focus, the togruta had become apprehensive about the neutral nature Obi-Wan had taken on. The same night the Negotiator had arrived at Kaliida Shoals, the bearded Jedi had spent majority of his time overseeing the transfer of wounded. She hadn't heard him return the next morning, though she figured that may have been asleep when he had. As it would turn out, the older Jedi had more in common with a zombie when he returned. Dragging himself into his quarters, barely being able to keep himself straight before flopping onto his bed. He barely slept for an hour before Ahsoka had come to finish her homework.
Due to his weariness and sleep deprivation, Kenobi had directed her to study while he took the opportunity to sleep for another hour. After he had awoken, the groggy Jedi once again returned to the mess table to study with her. He was barely awake by the time dinner hour had arrived. Ahsoka did her best to please him by getting everything so could sit. If he took notice of her actions, he didn't show it, though it was more than likely he was too tired to speak to it.
The following day after their arrival, Ahsoka had taken her test. Much to her delight it was easier than she anticipated allowing her to ace it. It was something she figured would have been enough to warrant some sort of praise or congratulations. But none was forthcoming from Kenobi. Rather, a simple nod of the head and then as previously, back to studying her other troubled courses the same afternoon. This became the norm for the next five days. Study, eat, sleep, and repeat.
Like the rest of the crew of the Negotiator, Ahsoka Tano had also become like clockwork.
By the fourth day, Obi-Wan had returned to some semblance of a normal sleeping schedule. But, for some odd reason to Ahsoka, he had become more distant. Almost as if his mind were somewhere else instead of at the mess table studying and reading with her. It ate at her. To know that even though she was only a meter away from him, he wouldn't go further than to have her breakfast ready, hand her lunch and dinner, check her homework, and then send her off to bed. Why wouldn't he talk to her? She had taken her other test by now since they had flown through her work and course materials to look after. She was beginning to feel as if she were perpetually in trouble, but for what she couldn't tell.
Was he so angry with me for breaking the datapad that he'll never speak to me again? She thought worriedly to herself.
At the very least, she figured when she had to face her Instructors from the academy, he would be there with words of advice or wisdom. He had become busier after the first night of being docked at Kaliida. The second day after they had arrived was when the older Jedi finally had the time to join her for her school meeting in the auxiliary briefing room. Ahsoka genuinely believed Obi-Wan would be supportive of her. Yet when the meeting began, he stood back out of sight. He kept a watchful eye on her as she gave her apologies and handed in all of her work for grading.
This very lengthy and very embarrassing meeting was one she hoped she would never have to repeat. Each teacher had spoken to Master Kenobi one at a time, highlighting Ahsoka's improvements. And all the while each one who spoke, he maintained a neutral expression. Only choosing to comment when asked of him or for his opinions. All of which, to her unease, were answered vaguely by him.
Why doesn't he actually talk to them? she contemplated.
Was the metaphorical lion that her master had warned her about brooding this whole time? Was he simply doing this because he was waiting for her to screw up? Or had they reached the point of no return and this would be how the two of them would interact for the foreseeable future? All because of a stupid datapad and a stupid stylus that she hadn't even intended to break? Ahsoka had to find out.
I gotta know what he's going to say in his report to Master Skywalker when he returns. she thought to herself.
After the meeting, she had made it her mission to split away from the Jedi Master. He was still somewhat distracted by something that she couldn't quite figure out. But this could work to her advantage. If he would continue his tunnel vision on whatever it was that occupied him, a simply fib would be enough to make a getaway. Schooling her face into an 'I gotta use the fresher' look, she put her plan in action.
"Master?" she asked politely
"Yes?" he answered distractedly.
"Since we're done here, may I use the fresher? I've kind of been holding it since breakfast." she replied anxiously.
"I told you to go before the meeting," he began. Taking note of her expectant look he sighed out loud. "Very well. We will continue your Galactic History refresher course once you are done. Meet me back in my quarters. If I am not there when you return, start without me." Obi-Wan ordered.
"Thank you!" she said eagerly as she speed walked out of the auxiliary briefing room
Nodding his head in acknowledgement, Kenobi went back to his mental conundrum. But for a moment he paused. Assuming his signature pondering stance, he felt as if something were amiss. Ahsoka had seemed to be fine the entire time of the meeting. She hadn't been fidgeting or stepping from side to side. If anything, she were almost a statue in the room. Perhaps she was mature enough to hide it? Maybe, but something still didn't sit right with him. Right as he considered leaving to check, his comlink beeped.
"Kenobi here" he responded.
"Sir, we have finished transferring the last of the injured to the station." Cody reported.
"Very well Commander. I'm on my way to the bridge." Obi-Wan answered as he ended the transmission.
Exiting the room, the bearded Jedi idled before shaking his head and walking away. Something still wasn't right, but he had other priorities to address at the moment. Entering a nearby turbolift, Obi-Wan crossed his arms in thought.
Hopefully this shouldn't take too long. He mused.
In the meanwhile, Ahsoka carefully made her way back to Obi-Wan's quarters. She was both elated and cautious at the moment. Careful to not attract unwarranted attention, Ahsoka maintained a calm demeanor and strolled through the corridors of the Republic warship. Arriving on G deck, she casually walked towards the Jedi General's quarters. Keying the door open, she looked around her to make sure no one had seen her actions. Entering the cabin, she immediately went over to his desk and pulled out the metal chair. Sitting down, she focused on the drawer he kept his personal datapad in. Using the Force to open the drawer was surprisingly easier for her than expected given she only had to remember his hand movements to open the drawer.
"Almost there…" she said as she focused in.
In her mind's eye she saw the mechanism for the drawer moving. Carefully she adjusted the gears and tumblers, mindful not to cause it to scramble itself. As she was doing this, a pang of guilt filled her thoughts. Was she right in doing this? Was she right for looking through Obi-Wan's private datapad? Before she could go further down the line of moral questioning, a barely audible click sounded. She opened her eyes and saw the drawer had popped out, indicating it was unlocked.
"I did it!" she gasped.
She hesitated in reaching out pull it open since that would mean there would be no turning back. Her hand floated in place for a moment before she felt her doubt ebb away. Carefully, she pulled the drawer out, revealing the datapad. Ahsoka slowly grabbed either side of the device and made to lift it up from its resting place. To her shock, it was heavy, almost like lead. Was it a special type of datapad? Or was that her conscience trying to get her to do the right thing and put it back? Leaning more towards the former, since it meant not feeling as bad about what she was doing, the teen placed the device down on the desktop.
"Ok, I think I remember what he typed in last week." Ahsoka said as she powered up the datapad.
Upon reaching the log in screen, Ahsoka thought back to her first day aboard. She visualized the memory of Obi-Wan typing on the screen. Even though it was technically upside down from her vantage point, she figured it was possible to mirror it mentally. A few minutes passed before she proceeded with trying to unlock it. Pressing each key on the screen, she held her breath. If it didn't work, there would be a notice the next time he logged in that someone else tried to access his datapad. Seconds elapsed and the longer the verification took, the more anxious she grew. Closing her eyes, she counted the seconds until finally, it beeped.
Access Granted the screen read.
Letting go of the breath she had been holding, Ahsoka stared intently at the screen. The hardest part was done, now all she had to do was find his report to her master. Easier said than done apparently. There had to be somewhere around fifty or sixty files labeled report. Even with the last update next to each file name, it would take a while to go through each one and find what she was after. Logically the last updated files were the best place to start since he had probably made multiple entries for her acting out earlier in the week. She cringed at the thought of what Master Kenobi would say, or worse, what would he do if he caught her going through his personal datapad.
"I'm going to make this quick." she said silently to herself as she began sifting through.
A few minutes passed and Ahsoka was already through ten reports. Most of them had to do with the arrival at the medical station while one was centered on the fleet's refueling schedule. Most of this she was already aware of, as Anakin had allowed her to see how the fleet operated from his datapad. That had been how she was able to tamper with his holomail in the first place. Another round of guilt threatened to derail her efforts, but she kept at it. Perusing through another twenty or so files, she was surprised to see one with which its contents were on the topic of requesting a padawan.
"Master Kenobi wants a new padawan already?" she thought idly.
She was tempted to go through it and see who he might request or if he already had selected a new padawan. But at the last moment, she decided against it, not wanting to dig further since what she was doing was wrong on so many levels as it was. Moving down the list, Ahsoka finally found what she was looking for.
File – Padawan Academic Remediation – Student: Tano, Ahsoka
Strange that it was buried under all the other files down towards the bottom. Hadn't he been updating it every other day as she had presumed? Or perhaps he had yet to update it with a new entry because of how busy he was? These questions would do her no good if she didn't open the blasted file in the first place. Mentally rolling her eyes, she tapped on the icon and waited for it to load. After a good ten or twelve seconds, the file opened up. Only two entries were currently present inside. She cocked her head to the side, being completely perplexed by this occurrence. Reading through each one, her eyes widened and she felt her heart sink like an anchor.
Entry One, Day One…
As I anticipated, Ahsoka was not particularly keen on her sleeping arrangements. However, it is for her own benefit. I know she is quite a capable student when properly motivated. I can only hope that she will eventually come to realize that everything I am doing, unfair as it may seem, is for her own good. Just as we had our difficult moments when we you became my student, I know full well that Ahsoka and you will have your own. All I can tell you is this: teach her everything I taught you and she'll be just as good a Jedi as you are, perhaps even better.
Entry Two, Day Two…
Unfortunately, as you and I had once endured our share of "challenges" so have I with your student. While I believe her to be telling the truth, I must be very blunt when I ask if you have been teaching her to take out her anger on her datapads as well Anakin. While I haven't decided on punishment yet, I must make a recommendation for you. I would like for you to take the opportunity upon the earliest convenience to reinforce in Ahsoka the benefits of meditating and releasing one's emotions into the Force and not on academic supplies.
Ahsoka felt her stomach knot. Obi-Wan hadn't intended on hanging her out to dry whatsoever. If anything, he was giving constructive criticism to both her and her master. She suddenly felt very hollow. Her heart pounded in her chest and her throat became tight. Looking at the datapad was serving to upset her now. Because now she realized, she had gone through his privacy for no good reason, if one could even call looking through another's personal files a good reason. There was no purpose for her to still be sitting there staring at the report. Her hands shook and she felt her eyes stinging. What had she done? Before she could continue this line of thought, the door to the cabin whooshed open. With it came the footsteps of a very unhappy Jedi.
"Ahsoka, what are you doing?" Obi-Wan Kenobi asked harshly.
The teen froze, she hadn't heard the Jedi Master enter the room, and was acutely aware that she'd been caught in the act. The question was, what would he do about it? Would this be the moment where he would make good on his threat and punish her, or was she in deeper trouble than that?
She didn't respond, mostly due to the fact that her brain had chosen to stop functioning at that moment leaving her speechless. The Jedi Master however, did not appreciate the silence. He was livid since he knew damn well Ahsoka had basically violated the agreement he made with her on respect and honor. Though if she were being honest, it would fall closer to violating what it meant to be a Jedi overall.
"Get up." He said sharply.
Putting down the device, she immediately stood up from Obi-Wan's desk, praying to the Force that he couldn't see what she had open on the screen. He stood next to her and spoke in a frustrated tone.
"Why are you at my desk looking through my files?"
Ahsoka ducked her head at the obvious irritation that was present in his voice. She dared not look him in the eyes. Her mind was still slow to catch up and she barely strung together a reply.
"I-I didn't mean to it-it just happened." she struggled.
Obi-Wan folded his arms behind his back. He looked up towards the ceiling of his quarters and closed his eyes. Counting from one to ten in these moments had greatly helped him when it came to confronting his former padawan. It would appear that it would be necessary now with his student's apprentice. Opening his eyes again, the greatly irritated Jedi looked back down at the shirking teen before him.
"Do you take me for a fool? Do you honestly believe I will accept that pitiful excuse as an answer?" he replied, his voice unnaturally quiet.
Ahsoka shook her head 'no' and kept her gaze down and away. Obi-Wan sighed out loud and shook his head regretfully.
"I'm not so much mad as I am disappointed in you Ahsoka. All that progress. The maturity you displayed today in the meeting. Your devotion to studying hard and making amends with your teachers. All for what? So you could lie to me about using the fresher so you could invade my privacy and look through my files? I honestly believed you had turned a page. But now it would seem you've tossed out the whole book by doing this. Why Ahsoka?"
The togruta in question only shied away further. For Ahsoka, it was a momentous act of self-control that was preventing her from allowing herself to shed any tears. Every word he had spoken was true. And it hurt her. It hurt so badly to know that she had in essence, betrayed him. Betrayal. That word alone acted like a massive hammer to the walls she was barely maintaining. She knew he would want a response to his statement. That he would want her to acknowledge the truth. But as before, she couldn't find any meaningful words to say. Obi-Wan, however, would not accept this silence.
"So this is how you repay me? Lying and going behind my back to look through something you had no business snooping around in the first place? Was I wasting my time to help you with your studies so you would not fail and be forced to go back to the Temple? Is this is how you thank me? Not even having the decency to look me in the eye and speak for yourself? Is that who you are Ahsoka Tano? Is that what Anakin has imbued in you? Because I know for a fact I did not teach him that. I went out of my way to make sure he would not act like you have today. So I know you haven't learned that from him." He scolded.
Ahsoka remained silent, though by now she was trembling in her boots. A fact that was not lost upon the older Jedi while he had berated her. Either she was too stubborn to respond, or was feeling too guilty to answer. Both possibilities left Obi-Wan's patience frayed. He hadn't been this upset in years, and it was telling to him just how alike Anakin and her were. Seeing that he wouldn't get an answer out of her, Kenobi fell back on his old playbook with how to deal with Anakin at a time like this.
"Fine, if you won't answer me, then you make my decision easy. Go to your room and stand in the corner nearest your desk. I will be in there momentarily." Obi-Wan said in a resigned tone.
Her stomach all but flounced onto the soles of her boots. Her legs, heavy as if they were laden with lead, barely complied in moving her towards the door. She felt the urge to look towards him, to try and answer his question, but all she could come up with was 'I'm sorry' in her mind. Risking a quick glance to him, her eyes briefly locked onto his. The hurt, the anger, sadness, and finally the disappointment were all she could discern. Turning her head forward again, Ahsoka barely heard him speak to himself just as she was about to exit his quarters.
"And to think I recommended you to become Anakin's first apprentice. How wrong I was to do so." he spoke regretfully, disillusionment clear in his tone.
She stopped in her tracks and spun around to face him. It was Obi-Wan who had endorsed her to become Anakin's padawan? It was him who told Master Yoda to assign her to Master Skywalker? Her head was spinning in that instant. But what truly caught her attention was the last seven words he had uttered.
How wrong I was to do so
Had he really said that? Was he sorry for choosing her to be Anakin's apprentice? Did that mean he was sorry for ever meeting her too? Did…did he hate her? Had she pushed him to this impasse?
What have I done?
Her eyes watered heavily and she had to swallow hard to prevent a sob from escaping. His eyes held a coldness that permeated her conscience and her heart. The warmth she had seen the first time they had ever met was gone. The guilt was straining on her. She wanted so badly to take it back, to stop herself from ever doing this, from ever violating that trust she had with Obi-Wan. Ahsoka, carefully trying to hold it together for a little while longer, spoke above a whisper to him.
"I'm sorry"
"Are you? he retorted.
"Yes!" she responded, a bit more forcefully.
"I don't believe you" he said curtly.
That alone made her heart taught in her chest. She felt herself beginning to hyperventilate. Her lip quivered and the tenuous grasp of composure she had was hanging on by a thread. That revelation, the regret, and finally, the accusation of being called a liar catapulted her into flurry of desperation. Shaking her head and balling up her fists, she felt two streams quickly run down her face. Closing her eyes and breathing out intensely through her nose, she unleashed her frustration through the medium of yelling.
"Why couldn't you just talk to me?! All I wanted was for you to talk to me! You shut me out! You wouldn't speak to me and you kept ignoring me! Why couldn't you just let me know what you were going to say to him?! Why?! If you hadn't been so tight lipped about everything, I wouldn't have gone looking for the answers myself!" she finished arms crossed, heavily breathing.
If he were perturbed by her outburst, he did not show it. Rather, the older Jedi had simply stood in place and allowed her to have her mini tantrum. Waiting for few seconds to see if she were done yelling, Obi-Wan stepped in front of her, bent down to her eye level and addressed her sternly.
"If you're quite finished, I will tell you one last time. Be mindful of how you speak. Now, go to your room and stand in the corner. Final warning."
Narrowing her eyes, Ahsoka held her ground. Having had enough of her behavior and now her refusal to comply with his order, Obi-Wan straightened up and with a quickness she had not expected, grabbed hold of her upper arm.
"Since you will not listen to reason on your own, then perhaps this suggestion will give you cause to!" the elder Jedi said as he dropped to one knee and swiftly pulled the defiant teen across his bent knee.
Ahsoka panicked and tried to push away, but was immediately stunned as Kenobi applied a sharp swat to her backside. Seeing that he had her attention, Obi-Wan settled on delivering a total of ten swats to her bottom. After doing so, he pulled her off and stood back up. Still not releasing her from his grip, the incensed Jedi walked out of his quarters and moved to hers. Ahsoka in the time being, was still in shock from the fact she had just gotten a spanking. She was sure Anakin was definitely going to hear about this. Stopping before the entryway to her quarters, Obi-Wan keyed the door open. Both of them stepped inside, even with Ahsoka halfheartedly pulling back against him. Shooting her a glare, Obi Wan was fully intent on getting her to obey him, one way or another. Briskly, he marched her into the corner next to her desk and released her. She turned around to face him, eyes still narrowed.
"Now that I have made myself clear, you will stand in this corner and you will contemplate your actions. I will return in ten minutes and then we will continue the conversation we just had. Do I make myself clear?"
Silence
Obi-Wan took hold of her upper arm again and applied another five swats to her backside. Ahsoka attempted to dodge each blow, but he successfully landed each swat on target.
"Ok!" she angrily fired back after another five were delivered.
Letting go once again, Obi-Wan faced her back into the corner. Shaking his head in approval after seeing that she wouldn't turn back around, he exited her quarters and returned to his own. While she would be stewing and more importantly waiting for her punishment, Kenobi would look through his datapad. He had to make sure she had not authored anything into his notes or his report to Anakin. Taking the time to stop and breathe, Obi-Wan allowed himself the chance to expel the anger within himself. No matter what he was going to punish Ahsoka, but he would not do so while he was angry. Repeating his meditative breathing for the remainder, he concluded she hadn't tampered with his files. Putting the device back into his desk, Kenobi made his way out of his cabin. Walking back towards the togruta's room, he stopped short of the door and cleared his mind one last time before entering.
I will do what I must. He thought as the door slid closed behind him.