Doll

Madoka huddled up on her bed with her back to the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. She stared listlessly at the sheets below her, drowning in her thoughts.

Her friends would be fighting Walpurgisnacht. She would be on the sidelines.

"Unless you make that wish of yours."

She ignored Kyubey, wishing she could just cover her ears to block him out. She had already been wary of him because of Homura's warning, but hearing him confirm everything just made it all worse.

Sitting on the bed with her was Sayaka, who seemed to be on the same wavelength. "Shut up, Incubator," she grumbled, dejected. "Go fuck up someone else's life."

Kyubey stared blankly back. "I do not understand why you act as if I am so different to you. Both of us aim to protect our own species. It may hurt a few people, but us Incubators are acting for the good of the many."

Sayaka groaned and lightly thunked her head against the wall. "I don't even know if it's worth explaining to you how we're different. You'll just say that human emotion is illogical."

"In all probability, I will, yes."

"And don't give me that crap about 'for the good of the many.' There's a difference between the Trolley Problem and sacrificing innocent people."

Despite everything, Madoka smiled a bit. "I'm surprised you remembered that, Sayaka-chan. Since when do you pay attention in philosophy?"

"Quiet, you."

In all honesty, Madoka was surprised that she was the one who remembered it, not Sayaka. Sayaka was always way smarter than Madoka, not to mention kinder, prettier, more popular, more capable, and now, more powerful.

Madoka wasn't resentful, of course, but it took a toll on her self-esteem. She wished that she wasn't such a burden.

Kyubey inched himself closer. "Is that a wish I sense? Kaname Madoka, form a contract with me and—"

"Go away, Kyubey."

She sighed in relief as Kyubey obliged, melting into the shadows. "Think we're alone now?" she asked Sayaka.

"I doubt it." Sayaka waited a moment before slightly raising her voice. "Man, the Kyubey really sucks, huh? Everyone hates Kyubey, that little back-stabbing asshole!"

Madoka giggled and pushed on Sayaka's arm. "Language, missy! You're spending too much time with Kyoko!"

Sayaka gasped dramatically and placed her hand on her chest. "Madoka, you wound me!" she cried, looking anywhere but at Madoka's eyes. "How could you imply that I would willingly spend time with Kyoko, of all people?"

"…Are you even trying to fool me?"

Sayaka huffed. "Not really…but you're no better, Ms. 'Homura-chan this, Homura-chan that, Homura-chan is so cool and amazing—'"

Madoka flushed. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"'Oh, Homura-chan!'" Sayaka exclaimed in a high-pitched voice, grinning as she did so. "'You're sooo pretty, Homura-chan! I just love your gorgeous, dark hair! Oh, I could die if only I could run my fingers through it!'"

"S-stop it! I don't sound like that!"

Sayaka laughed as Madoka pounded on her shoulder. "Something wrong, Madoka? I mean, I'm just reminding you of how you talk about your girlfriend."

Madoka had never been redder in her entire life. "She's not my girlfriend!"

"But you wish she was!"

Madoka shoved her head in her hands, muffling her scream. Years later, scholars would agree that it sounded something like "Sayaka-chaaan!"

Sayaka cackled. "Oh, and don't think I didn't notice this when I walked in!"

Madoka's scream cut off abruptly. Surely, that didn't mean—

"I loved your pink stuffed animal," Sayaka said. "When we had sleepovers as kids, I'd take it from you and cuddle with it. Ah, those were the days, where our only fights were over a doll."

Oh no oh god she saw it she saw—

"But hey, everyone grows out of that stuff eventually, right? Though I have to admit, moving to this is a bit…unconventional."

At that moment, Madoka almost called out to Kyubey, wishing for the earth to swallow her whole.

Sayaka patted Madoka's head. "But hey, it's okay! I won't tell 'Homura-chan' about this, don't worry!"

Madoka peeked through her fingers. Sayaka was holding a doll with long, dark hair, as she squinted at the tag. "It's from Geppetto's, huh? That's quite far. You really looked hard for one that looked like Homura, huh?"

That's it. I'm wishing for time travel powers. Putting it behind my pillow was a stupid hiding place.

Eventually, Sayaka's giggles became a bit more muted. "So, what's its name?" she asked. Madoka mumbled something. "Sorry, didn't catch that."

"I-I said that it's called Homulily…"

"Pfft! That's so—I mean, that's a nice name. Is it because lilies are really pretty?"

"It's b-because a lily represents devotion…and rebirth."

Sayaka stopped giggling at that. "Ah."

"Yeah…"

While Homura hadn't given nearly the same level of detail as she had with Madoka, she still told the others about how she had traveled back in time, along with hints as to their fates in those doomed realities.

Sayaka looked down at the dark-haired doll contemplatively before handing it back to Madoka. "It's a good name," she said quietly. "Sorry for teasing you."

Without really thinking about it, Madoka took out her ribbons and shook her hair free. She began to braid the doll's hair, tying in the ribbons as she did so.

"It's okay," she said. "I always got to tease you about Kyousuke—b-before his accident, of course. And I now get to tease you about Kyoko—"

"Of which there is no basis whatsoever."

"Of course not. I'm just saying that I get it."

Sayaka leaned back on her elbows and stared at the ceiling with a slight smile. "You know, I tried so hard to tease you back when we were kids. 'Oooh, I bet you think that boy's cute!' Ugh, thinking about it makes me cringe."

Madoka smiled and leaned her head on Sayaka's shoulder. "You're good, don't worry. I didn't really think about it myself, so you had no way of knowing that I wasn't into boys."

"Yeah, because you're into 'Homura-chan'."

Madoka squeaked and pushed herself off, but this time, she was laughing.

Moments like this helped fuel her wish. Moments like these were why she loved this world. Moments like these gave her hope for the future.

The coming days may be full of terror, but for now, things were perfect.