You were dreading this day. Bucky had stayed in your tent last night again, spending every last moment you could together. He left early in the morning, telling you he had to talk to Steve about something. You needed a plan. After Steve went into the ice, you needed to figure out how to preserve yourself for 70 years until they found him. You could freeze yourself; you had done it before, but only for a few hours at most. You were essentially your own cryo unit, but without being encased properly, you would thaw out.
You needed to talk to Peggy. Maybe Howard could build you something that could keep you frozen. Although, it would need to be put into capable hands after he died. Tony maybe? Shield? Maybe Peggy could keep her somewhere safe until Nick Fury came into it. But also, Shield is mostly Hydra for a while, so maybe that wasn't a good idea either. You just hoped this worked.
Bucky poked his head in your tent just as you were zipping your boots up. You and the team would be heading out in about a half hour. "Hey, I'm almost ready Buck." You told him, getting up and grabbing your jacket. "That's actually what I came to talk to you about." He said, looking down. You tilted your head and looked at him. "Steve and I don't think you should come with us."
"Wait, what?" You said. What did he mean you shouldn't go.
"If whatever happens to me needs to happen, I won't be able to focus if you're there doll. If I see you, I'll fight like hell to stay or come back, and I can't do that. I can't be selfish." He said sighing. Fuck that. You were going to be selfish. You crossed over to him, taking his face in your hands, placing a searing kiss on his lips. You pulled back after a second and rested your head against his. "I can. I can be selfish. Don't go Bucky. Please. Stay here with me." You pleaded, tears streaming down your face. He looked down at you, wiping a tear away. "Please don't tempt me doll. I'm so in love with you I'd do it." You knew he would. If you really asked him, he'd stay with you, and you'd live out your lives here. You couldn't do that. There were more important things.
"I know. I love you Bucky, more than I have ever loved anyone." You told him. He reached down into his jacket and pulled out his dog tags, pulling them over his head and placing it over yours. "Now I'll always be with you. No matter what." He whispered.
"Bucky…"
"Shhh, come on, walk me out?" He asked, you nodded and took his hand, following him out the truck that was loading up. "Did you tell Steve?" You asked him. He shook his head, looking over at Steve and back at you. "Nah, I told him that I needed you here so I could focus, that parts true, but I didn't wanna tell him what happened, I figured he'd wanna do something to change it."
"Makes two of us." You offered. Steve came up to you and put a hand on your shoulder. "Move out in five." He said, walking back over to the truck. You closed your eyes and felt more tears falling. "Hey, look at me. I want to spend the last five minutes I have with you looking into your beautiful eyes doll." He said. You opened them and he was smiling down at you. He placed a soft kiss on your lips, his hand on the back of your neck, holding you to him. This was a goodbye kiss; you both knew it. You never wanted to let go. You heard Steve whistle and Bucky let go of you, looking down at you one last time.
"I love you James Barnes." You told him. He kissed you again. "I love you Ally Cat."
You watched as he got in the truck with the team, sending you a small wave before they drove off.
You stayed back in the tent, not wanting to be around anyone else. You laid down on the cot, twirling Bucky's tags in your hands. You thought about what you were going to do once you came out of the ice, so to speak. You would find Steve first, help him get adjusted to the new world he was in, because from what you remembered, Shield did a shitty job of it.
You knew it would be years until you could find Bucky, and when you did, you weren't a hundred percent sure you could get through to him.
You laid there for hours before you heard the roar of the truck pulling back into camp. You jumped up and ran outside, Steve jumping off the truck, followed by the rest of the team, holding Zola captive. No Bucky. You knew he wasn't coming back, but your heart dropped anyway. Until you caught Steve's gaze, then it was hammering in your chest.
He stalked up to you, grabbing you by the arm and yanking you into your tent.
"Tell me you didn't know." He said. You looked down, closing your eyes. "Tell me you didn't know Ally!" He yelled, making you jump. You looked up at him to see tears falling down his face. "Tell me you didn't know he wasn't going to make it on that mission, tell me he didn't know and did it anyway. Please." He sobbed.
You walked over and wrapped your arms around him. "I'm so sorry Steve. I wanted to stop it, I did, but I couldn't. Even after I told Bucky, I pleaded with him to stay and he wouldn't." She pulled back and looked up at him. "I promise you Steve, everything's going to be okay. He's going to be okay. We're going to find him someday. Please trust me." He nodded and pulled you to him, and you both cried for Bucky. Steve for losing his best friend, and you for losing the love of your life.
Zola had been taken in for questioning, and Peggy had to go fetch Steve from what was left of the bar you had danced with Bucky in. You were all gathered around the table in the SSR headquarters now, talking about how to take down the last base.
Phillips was standing in front of a map, a stack of photos and papers in his hand. "Johann Schmidt belongs in a bughouse. He thinks he's a God and he's willing to blow up half the world to prove it, starting with the USA."
"Schmidt's working with powers beyond our capabilities." Howard started. "He gets across the Atlantic, he will wipe out the entire Eastern Seaboard in an hour."
According to Zola, they had twenty-four hours to find Schmidt, before he made his trek to the U.S.
"So, what are we supposed to do?" Morita asked. "I mean, it's not like we can just knock on the front door."
Steve spoke for the first time since they'd been in the room. "Why not? That's exactly what we're going to do."
You were going on this last mission. Steve had tried to stop you, but you wouldn't let him. You were doing this. For Bucky. Steve went ahead first on his bike, and you knew there were too many Hydra agents for him, so he would get taken in to see Red Skull. You were waiting at the top of the mountain with the rest of the team, ready to zipline down into the window.
Morita gave the go ahead, and you strapped onto the zipline, flying down and crashing into the window, pulling out your gun and firing. You put your other hand on the floor and sent a wave of ice spikes up the center of the room, taking out several agents. You handed Steve his shield and hugged him. "Be careful. I'll see you soon." You told him. You knew what he was going to do. He smiled down at you. "You know what I'm about to get into, don't you." You nodded and he wiped a stray tear that fell. "Am I gonna be alright?" He asked.
"Eventually. Do you trust me?" You asked. He nodded. "I'll find you." You told him. He smiled and took off to find Red Skull. You led the team down the corridors, taking out the many agents that came at you. It was never-ending. You shot an ice wall, blocking Hydra soldiers in the corridor on your left. You would meet Peggy and Phillips in the control room, you just needed to find it. This place really was huge.
You finally made it to the control room, Peggy and Phillips waiting on you. You were pacing around the room, hands shaking. Maybe Steve wouldn't have to do this. Maybe there was a different way. You sighed. There wasn't. Maybe if he had gotten to the plane before it took off. But it had a course set, and the bombs were already on it.
"Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?" You heard on the system. Oh God. This was it. You and Peggy ran over to where Morita was sitting, knocking him out of the chair so Peggy could sit down.
"Steve is that you? Are you alright?" She asked. He told her that Red Skull was dead. Tears filled your eyes as you listened to Peggy asking for Steve's coordinates, and him telling her there wouldn't be a safe landing.
"Is Allison there?" Steve asked. Peggy turned to you, and you closed your eyes, pressing the button on the intercom. "Yes Steve, I'm here." There was silence for a minute before he spoke again.
"This is what I'm supposed to do isn't it?" He asked. Tears were falling down your face. This wasn't fair. None of this was. "Yes. It is. Do you trust me?" You asked.
"With my life." You put a hand on Peggy's shoulder, turned around and left the room. You slid down the wall just outside the door. You couldn't listen to Steve promise Peggy that dance. You knew these things needed to happen, but you still feel like you failed. You lost the two most important people in your life. And now you had to figure out how to get yourself 70 years in the future.
You heard static in the room, and you knew Steve was gone. You rested you head on your knees and let the tears fall. You heard footsteps and lifted your head to see Colonel Phillips in front of you.
"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?" He asked. You nodded. "It had to. I wish that it didn't." You told him. He held out a hand and hauled you to your feet. "You seem to know what you're doing missy. I trust you. Steve trusted you. Come on. Don't let that be in vain."
He left you alone in the corridor and everyone started filing out of the control room, leaving Peggy alone. You walked in and sat in a chair next to her. "I'm so sorry Peg." You told her. She reached out a shaky hand and grabbed onto yours. "You knew, didn't you? That he had to do this." You nodded.
"I'm so sorry Peggy. He's going to be alright. I'm gonna find him. It's gonna take 70 years, but I'm gonna find him."
"How?" She asked. "Well I was hoping you could help me out with that. I need to talk to Howard." You told her. She smiled and hugged you, and the both of you just cried for a few minutes.
London was in celebration when you returned, planes in the sky, people in the streets. You didn't feel much like celebrating, but you still found yourself in the bar with the commandos. You all raised your glasses. "To the Captain." You all said. Dum Dum looked at you with sad eyes. "To Sergeant Barnes." You smiled, wiping a tear from your face. You left the bar shortly after, getting back to your room as soon as you could. You laid in your bed, holding Bucky's tags that were still around your neck.
"I'll find you. I'll find both of you."