We spent a week in Arkansas, and then we only had two days home before were flown out to Arlington, Texas.

We worked around the clock for three days until we had our prime suspect in custody. We had concrete evidence, he couldn't get out of this, so Hotch told us to go the hotel to get some sleep. I tried to argue, but he interrupted and explained that we would pin him in the morning.

We all met in the restaurant at the hotel for dinner after we showered and changed.

I ordered an entrée salad as my main meal and Rossi questioned my choice, but I brushed him off and said I wasn't very hungry.
I hadn't been very hungry for days. My appetite seemed to disappear when I was upset.
They talked around the table for a while and I stayed mostly silent, just throwing in a word or a small chuckle where it seemed fit.
After a while, I heard my name twice before I looked at JJ. "What?" I felt all their eyes on me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yep."

"Are you upset about the case?"

"No." I met her eyes this time. I really wasn't; we caught the guy before any more damage was done.

Rossi changed the subject briefly, before Reid looked at me beside him and spoke, "How is Mick?"

I closed my eyes and then looked down to my hands in front of me, quickly motioning away, "He's gone," I knew the questions were about to begin, but I saw the waitress bringing our meals over, "Oh look, food."

"Yeah, no, I'm going to need an explanation." JJ spoke again.

"This is not a group conversation, due to me not wanting to make anyone feel bad."

We tried to move on from the first team night together, however Reid's comment of me being "clearly uncomfortable with the idea" of dating him stuck with him. He couldn't shake it, and I couldn't say anything to make it better. In the end, we decided to just stop. Well, I decided to just stop. He wanted to sort it out with me, but I told him that I had enough and he needed to leave.
This was on the two day break we had from cases, so only four days ago. I hadn't heard from him since.

"So one of us is the cause? Was it because you slept with Morgan?" JJ asked. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Was it because you slept with Hotch?" I shook my head again and sat back, sighing inwardly.

Rossi changed the subject again and I gave him a grateful smile. I caught JJ's eyes again before long and she tilted her head. "Who?" She mouthed silently.

I tilted my head back towards Reid subtly, and her expression grew confused. I would just tell her about it later; we were sharing a room anyway.

I planned to have a few drinks and soak in my hot tub when I got home. When Morgan and Garcia heard my plans, they invited themselves to join me. I let them come reluctantly.
I got home and started the tub so it would be warm by the time they arrived. I went upstairs and changed into a bathing suit, and then went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of expensive wine.

It wasn't long before I heard them knock. I answered with my wine still in my hand and stepped out of the way for them to come in.
I poured Garcia a glass of wine and got a beer out for Morgan. They both thanked me, and then I grabbed a few towels and went out to the balcony where the hot tub awaited. I dropped my robe and heard Morgan whistle as I got in.

We told stories and played a few rounds of who would you rather. It was shaping up to be a good night, and then I heard a knock on the door. Morgan was already out of the tub to grab us another bottle of wine, so I asked him to get the door.

Seconds later, a furious Mick came storming out. He seemed to calm down when he saw Garcia in the tub with me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, shocked by his presence. Morgan passed the bottle of wine to Garcia and got back in the tub.

"I didn't like how we left things. I guess you're fine with it."

"I'm not fine with it, I just can't see another way for it to go."

"Can we talk privately, please?"

"Mick, I just worked four days around the clock. I've had about two bottles of wine just to myself, and I have guests. Please leave." He shook his head in anger as he turned and stormed back inside. I heard the front door slam shut. "Sorry." I looked at Garcia and Morgan.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Garcia asked softly. I only shook my head in return as I drank back my full glass of wine.

By one in the morning, Kevin arrived to take Garcia home, and I subtly asked Morgan to stay. He told Kevin that he would get a cab.
I showered and changed upstairs, and then lay in bed. He joined me after his shower and he looked at me, "Are you sure? Clearly things aren't sorted between you two." I answered by kissing him. I climbed over to straddle him, my hands on his shoulders as I opened my mouth to allow his tongue entry.

We made out for a few minutes. He pushed me over to lay as he rolled over me. I suddenly became very aware of where his hands were headed, and I filled with guilt. "Stop." I closed my eyes.

"I figured." He removed his hand from my panties immediately and moved back to his side of the bed.

"I'm sorry." I sighed.

"It's okay. I knew you weren't going to go through with this. From the beginning, you didn't want to." He moved to the side of the bed and stood. I opened my eyes and saw him pulling his shirt on.

"You don't have to go." My voice was quiet now.

He turned and looked at me pointedly. "I'm going to guess that Mick is not going to find out about us making out there. I am not going to stay the night; it's just another thing for you to lie about." I went to speak, but he cut me off, "I'm not making a snide remark. I genuinely do not want to cause something else that you'll need to lie about. What we just did then is enough."

I got up to put my bathrobe on and followed him downstairs. I walked him to the door and kissed him once more before he unlocked the door, "I'm sorry, but thank you." I locked the door up behind him and went back to the open living room. I sighed as I looked around and remembered how lonely life was when you didn't have someone to share it with.

I turned all the lights off as I walked through the house and double checked all my doors and windows were locked before I went back upstairs to bed.

The next week I successfully avoided Mick.

This weekend, I decided to go down to a bar alone, for the first time since Jay. I got a martini and sat at the bar, just watching my drink. My second drink I had while speaking to a guy that took a seat beside me. He was average looking, but he'd do for a night.
My third drink, I felt eyes watching me. I scanned the bar and caught the eyes. Mick's eyes. He was here with his team, and now they were all watching me.

My fourth drink tasted odd at the end, and then I saw a powder-like residue stuck to the bottom on the glass. Panic filled me as I met the eyes of the man smiling at me. I didn't know what he put in the drink or how long until it would take effect, or what the effect would be.

I had only a few options: get the bartender to call me cab, call someone from my team, find a security guard, walk home myself, or approach the Red Cells.

I got my phone out and opened Mick's texts. I took a breath as I typed the single word "help". I pressed send, and ten seconds later he was at my side and telling the guy in front of me to back off.

"Emily, what's wrong? You look unfocussed."

"Something in my drink." I felt like I was speaking slower than usual.

I saw him motion for his team to come. He hung my coat over my shoulders and helped me stand. I felt slightly unsteady, but I wasn't sure if that was the gin or the drug.
I was out the door quickly, Mick and Gina at my sides. Prophet opened a cab door for me and Mick helped me in. He spoke briefly with them before he got into the cab as well and gave the driver his address.

He turned to me then, and he asked me who that was. I didn't get the chance to answer. I was too dizzy and my vision was blacking out.

I woke with a headache, and I found a glass of water on the nightstand. I sipped at the water and then looked to my side. Mick lay beside me, watching me.

"…How in the world did I end up with you?"

He gave a weak smile, almost like my words hurt him. "We were at the same bar, you were talking to some guy, he spiked your drink, you noticed and texted me for help. I brought you here."

"What, so someone drugs me and you decide to take advantage of that?"

"Excuse me? You asked me for help, and I wasn't going to leave you there with a stranger, drugged. I haven't done anything to you except remove your shoes and put you to bed, and I'm extremely offended that you think that I would."

I turned away and lay back down, closing my eyes again. I needed more sleep.

I woke again with sun shining across my eyes through a break in the curtains. I was alone this time.
I drank the rest of the water next to me, and then got up. I was fully clothed, thank god. I found my shoes by the end of the bed. I slipped the heels on and ran my fingers through my hair to neaten it before deciding to just throw it up into a ponytail anyway.

I went down the hall to the small living room and kitchen area. Mick was at the kitchen counter island, a coffee and some files in front of him.

"Hi." I spoke quietly. He didn't speak, understandably. "I'm sorry about this morning. I trust you. I know you wouldn't take advantage of me. I was shocked about last night and I just said the first—"

"Why do you feel the need to treat me the way you do?" He turned and looked me in the eyes. He was mad. I bit my lip and shook my head, but I didn't speak. "You didn't want to be with me, then you did, then you didn't. For some reason, I feel like I've done something wrong even though I know this was on you. Then you asked me for help, and before I even know what happened I jumped into action. I understand you being out of sorts this morning, but I don't like that you think I would take advantage of you. Frankly, Emily, you're the one taking advantage of me, and you are being a shitty person.
I tell you what, you go home and you think about what you want from me. If you decide you want to try a relationship again then you come and let me know. If not, we'll just cross paths in the field."

I had tears in my eyes that I tried to blink away. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I caught sight of my coat hanging near the door, and my bag on the coffee table. I grabbed my bag and took my coat, "Thank you," I turned and looked at him, "For helping me." I expanded. He just stared back, and I left quickly.

I closed his door behind me and leant on it as tears streamed down my face. I gave myself a few seconds to cry before I needed to pull myself together. I took a deep breath, wiped my tears, and suppressed the rising sobs. I pushed off the door and left.

I found my phone in my bag as I sat in the cab. I opened it and saw the millions of texts and calls from all six members of my team. Less from Hotch and Rossi, but still a few from them.

I decided to open up the group chat we had on Facebook messenger; this was just easier.
"Are you guys okay?"

Garcia messaged back almost immediately. "Are you!? Mick called JJ." One by one I saw all their small pictures pop up, telling me they were all in the chat. I felt so much guilt.

"Of course he did. I'm fine." I left it at that and locked my phone. It vibrated again but I ignored that message; I wasn't in any kind of mood for a conversation. Not to mention how humiliated I felt now that I knew they were all aware of what happened last night.
I knew Mick thought he was doing right by me when he called JJ, but I was still irritated. He knew I didn't like my team to worry; he knew that I didn't share these things with them willingly.

When I got inside my apartment, I put my things away and sat down on the couch.
The tears came quick and unexpectedly. I didn't try to stop them this time, I just lay hugging a cushion and let them out this time.