Moving all of Mick's things to my apartment was easy enough. He sold most of it anyways. When he was completely moved and settled – despite the fact that he spent most nights here before he moved anyway – he insisted I invite my team over for drinks, and that he would invite his team too.
My apartment wasn't exactly large, but it would have to do for twelve people for one night.

"I'm telling you she's not coming." My team was already here, having come straight from work. Mick was awaiting his, but he hadn't heard from Gina yet.

"She doesn't hate you." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, but she does." I dropped my head to the side and looked at JJ.

"Maybe if you treated Mick nicer in the beginning, she may not hate you as much." JJ joked.

"Just so you know," I looked back at Mick, "This is a one time thing. I hate having people in my space, which is why my team is only ever here once every seven months."

I heard a knock on the door interrupted his reply. He stood and went to the door. I heard him greet them. Sam greeted us before sitting down with Hotch and Rossi. Prophet greeted the team and kissed my cheek before sitting, and Gina seemed to hesitate, looking at Mick. They seemed to be mouthing words, although Mick's back was to me so I couldn't see his lips move. She glanced at me before she visibly took a breath and sat down, smiling at the team and greeting them. I looked at JJ again and smirked as I raised an eyebrow. I felt Mick nudge me and when I looked at him, he gave me scolding eyes. Clearly he saw my exchange with JJ.

We played board and card games, and then moved on to poker eventually. Reid won almost every time, although Rossi gave him a run for his money a few times.

They all left by 1am, and we went up to change and get into bed. I straddled him as soon as I got into bed and attacked his lips with mine.
It was just kissing to begin with, but it was enough to get me ready. I moaned loud when he finally began touching me.

"I love you." He whispered as his hand slipped into my panties. I kissed him in response, almost desperate this time. I loved hearing him say that.

"Show me." I spoke as I pulled him with me to switch places.

"Oh, I am going to go so slow that it tortures you." He smirked as he kissed my neck lightly.
We never really took it slow; we preferred it rough. However, slower would mean more emotion; more time to express his love.

When we were finished and cleaned up, I was lying with my head on his chest, moments from sleep.

"Love?" He whispered in case I was already asleep.

"Hmm?" I hummed in response.

"Let's have a baby."

My eyes snapped open and I felt awake instantly. I sat up from him and stared at him. I was at a loss for words. How do you tell someone that just made love to you (and it was making love that time) that you weren't sure if you wanted to have a baby with them?

"What?"

"I want to have a baby with you. I know we haven't even been together a year, but you're it for me. I want to get married and have a family and be over the top happy with you."

I shook my head with my eyes closed, "I am way too drunk to have this conversation tonight."

He nodded, "Okay, we'll talk about it tomorrow." He motioned for me to lay back down, and so I did. This time I lay with my back to him. I felt his lips press to my bare shoulder a moment before his body wrapped around mine. "I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered.

He tried to bring the baby issue up again on Saturday but I claimed I was too hungover to talk about it. Sunday morning, I had never been so happy to be called into work.
I sat down with the team around the table as we discussed the urgent and gruesome case.

When we were on the plane, Morgan finally called me out, "You look flustered."

I snickered to myself and shook my head, "I'm fine."

"Emily." JJ pushed, tilting her head to the side.

I sighed and dropped my head back. I wanted to talk to JJ about it, but I guess it wouldn't kill me to let the guys hear what was going on. I knew that sometimes they liked me to confide in them to reassure them that I trusted them. This situation seemed like the epitome of trust.
"After you all left on Friday, Mick asked to have a baby…"

"…You let him move in with you but you still haven't told him that you don't want kids? Or have you not told him because maybe you do want them with him?" JJ raised her eyebrows at me.

"No, if he were anyone else then maybe—"

"Hold up," JJ cut me off, "If he were anyone else?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head, "I don't mean it like that. I mean that he…well he isn't Will," I decided this was the best way to make her understand, "Mick isn't going to change his career or leave his team to take care of a kid. He will expect me to do that, and I'm not willing to give up my career. I mean if he were anyone else as in anyone else wouldn't have a career like ours and would probably give it up in a heartbeat for kids."

She seemed to think about it for a few seconds before she sat back, "You need to tell him. Like…immediately after we return from this case."

I sat back in my seat and looked at my hands as I picked at my nails. Hotch swatted my hands lightly to stop me from picking. I clenched them together and dropped them into my lap. I suddenly felt like my whole relationship with Mick was a mistake. I should have never gone on that first date.

I got home late Thursday night. The lights were out but I could hear the TV upstairs in the bedroom. I dropped my bag and keys, grabbed a glass of water, and then made my way upstairs.
He smiled when I walked into the bedroom. "Hey."

I smiled weakly and put the glass on my nightstand before pulling my shirt over my head. I leant over and kissed him once, "I'm going to shower."

I used my time in the shower to think about how I was going to approach the subject. JJ was right, I should have told him before we took this next time into living together. I needed to tell him now before anything else progressed.

When I got out, I dried off and wrapped myself up in my bathrobe. I opened the door to the bedroom and went to the closet. I slipped some underwear on and grabbed one of his shirts before returning to the bed. I sat down and sighed to myself. "We need to talk."

"…Now? You look exhausted." His voice was concerned. He muted the TV and sat up.

"Yes now. JJ talked some sense into me and I should have talked to you about this before you moved in."

"…What is it?"

I took a breath and looked into his eyes. He was so worried and it broke my heart. I knew this would shatter him. "I…You've been talking about kids lately. I heard you tell your mother when she and you dad visited that she can expect grandchildren…and then last week you asked to have a baby. Mick…I don't want to have kids." I shook my head.

He was silent for a painful few seconds, "You don't want kids…at all?" I shook my head in response. "Why not? You're great with Henry and Jack, you specialize in child advocacy. I thought you just hadn't had any yet because you hadn't had the chance."

"I've had chances," I nodded, "But having kids means giving everything up. I couldn't live here, I wouldn't be…free to do whatever I wanted when I wanted, and I'd have to resign. I'm not willing to give up my career, and I know you're going to give yours up to raise a kid either."

"You just made that assumption on your own?"

"What?"

"At least give me the option, Emily. Don't make decisions for me!" He was angry.

"Mick, please."

"No," He threw the blankets away and stood. He ran his hand through his hair and paced, "You knew I wanted a family, Emily. You knew that before I moved in. Why would you wait until this far into our relationship to tell me this? If you had of told me in the beginning, no one would have gotten hurt. Now we're too far in for me to leave without hurting us both."

I took a deep breath and swallowed the bubble in my throat. I could feel the tears rising. "I understand if you want to stop here. I understand if this is the end."

"I don't want this to be the end of us, Emily. I want to marry you. I want to have a family with you. I want you." He stopped pacing and looked at me. I met his eyes and saw the tears glistening, and mine burst through. I dropped my head into my hands and shook my head.

I heard a zip and looked up to see him packing some clothes into a bag. "I want you to think about this. I'm going to stay with Prophet for the time being, and I want you to seriously consider what you want, Emily. Because if you don't want marriage or kids…then I can't be with you." I nodded and sniffed, trying to calm my tears. He approached me and pressed a kiss to my forehead, "I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered as I watched him leave the room.

When I heard the front door close, I let everything out. I sobbed and dropped to the floor, my tears flowing freely.
I didn't want to lose him. I couldn't lose him. I had become too attached, almost dependent. This was the exact reason that I didn't date, why I didn't let people in. Why I didn't let myself love. People got hurt. He got hurt, I got hurt.

No matter how badly I wanted him in my life, I wasn't sure I could give my career up for children. I just didn't have that craving to be a mother. I remember how elated JJ was when she told us about Henry officially, the night after the New York case. I remember how happy Garcia was with the news, excited to have a baby to adore and cherish. Even Reid looked over the moon.
I didn't feel like that, though. Sure, the news was great and I was happy that JJ was happy, and now I loved Jack and Henry so much. But I didn't have to give up my career to love Henry and Jack. I wasn't losing anything to have them around.

That was my reasoning for not wanting kids; I didn't want to lose anything.

I was extremely comfortable with my life the way it was. I liked working 12-hour days, and then coming home to do nothing with Mick. I liked how easily I could go out for a drink or to a movie. I liked how quickly I could take some time off and just disappear for a week.

I cried harder as I climbed into bed and buried my head into my pillows. I could smell Mick's cologne on them, and that made me feel even worse.