Chapter 18

(Sophia's POV)

We sat in the cafeteria as I looked through more papers, Kaoru, Kozue and Baki sat around us. With their combined presence the table was only half full; the large space in the middle was barren. I take a bite of my apple, narrowly missing my fingers as I look over the faces and the information about them.

"So this is all the members of your organization?"

Kaoru hums "These are all the faces you need to know and others you will meet in person."

"Are the ones in red people I should avoid?" I muse, sending him a cocky smile.

"The marked pages are people that have a problem with me or my father." He takes a sip of his tea and I don't miss the small grimace. With the tense subject, I'm sure he wished it was Whiskey.

I place a hand on his cheek; causing his eye to fall on me, my thumb moves across his cheek gently "I know this wasn't easy so thank you..."

I squeeze his hand again and lean my head on his arm, my eyes turning back to the pages. I browse through a few more pages, taking in the different faces, most marked with scars of some sort and angry looks on their faces. On the tops of each page were small copies of group pins, symbols showing loyalty to each respective group. Kaoru was technically breaking the rules by doing this, having all the pictures and names were a big risk in the wrong hands but he didn't want yesterday events to repeat themselves.

Baki and Kozue were chatting about his upcoming fight in the underground arena and the current circumstances with the five escaped convicts. I would glance up at them every once and awhile, smile softly and look back at my papers. My head never left Kaoru's arm and he never moves it, now using his right hand to grab things.

"Well well well. You certainly work fast." A manly voice says and I glance at the end of the table to see Iowa.

I sigh with a smile "Iowa, what do I owe the pleasure?"

He sits down beside me; thankfully Kaoru foresees this and moves over so I'm not crushed between the two of them "Oh, what's this?"

I fold the papers towards me "Don't you know?" I tease, handing the papers to Kaoru "It's French gay porn, mine and Kaoru's dirty little secret."

The table falls silent, dead silent.

The tense silence is broken by Kozue's loud snort of laughter and I chuckle, sending Kaoru a smug smile "Right? Dear?" At his silence I chuckle again, leaning my head on his arm.

..

..

I picked up my books, letting a few people go before me and slip my phone in my pocket. When I seemed to get one part of my life in order another part slipped away. The four businesses were all but screaming that in my face. I still had my school work, Kendo practice and my brother to worry about. The fact that the cops were now breathing down my neck, trying to find some connection with my brother and the death of my mother. The anniversary of her death was coming up when my brother finally woke up that would be another mountain of paperwork to deal with.

I was still trying to balance my old life and my new one. I gently clutch my charm bracelet to my heart, it was times like this that I wished my mother was still here, that my father was back home, that I had someone to talk too. And I knew I had Kaoru but with everything else he had going on it wasn't fair to burden him further. I slide my fingers over the large office envelope, the content inside all but burned my fingers.

I lift the charm to my lips, kissing the only pendant I had left from her.

Mom... Please, if you're watching over me I could really use a hand with this...

"So what do you want to do today?"

"I don't know. We could go to Karaoke?

"We did that last weekend"

"Well, we could see a movie?"

"None is playing."

"We could hang at the mall?"

"And do what? My mom will kill me if I buy more clothes."

"Well, we have to think of something!"

"Oh just face it you two, there's nothing to do for high schoolers. All the clubs and bars are closed to minors."

I feel my eyes lift, the idea flashing through my mind like a movie and I smile, glancing up at the sky.

Thank you, mom.

I rip my books off the table, shoving them in my bag along with the folder and I rush out of the classroom. Like clockwork, Kozue exits the classroom with Baki and I grab her hand, ripping her down the hallway. Like before her books and bag fly into the air and I already know Baki caught them as we run down the stairs, swerving around people.

"Sophia?!" Kozue jumps, her body suddenly rushed past people 'Sophia what are you doing?!"

I laugh looking back at her and knew Baki and Kaoru would meet us at home "I have an Idea!"

..

..

I wanted to visit my brother but I didn't trust Kureha not to try anything with me alone. Katsumi was in class till seven, Baki was warming up for a fight, Kozue was with Baki, Takeda was taking care of a few things and I knew if I asked Chiharu or Kenichi they would tell Kaoru. I found it almost laughable that I had an army of help and no one was around.

So that's how I found myself in the large Hanayama building, sitting on a comfortable couch while Kaoru did paperwork. Kizaki would come in every few minutes, exchanging papers for new ones that needed his attention. I quietly tapped on the large binder I was holding, going over a few sketches Kozue and I had come up with. I move the eraser to my bottom lip, gently pushing on the flesh.

"What's wrong?"

I glance up at him slowly, removing the pencil from my mouth "what?"

"You're not usually this quiet."

I turn my head away, glancing at the door as my folder falls on my lap. I wanted more than anything to tell him about Kureha but I knew that would do nothing but cause problems. Yes, I agreed Kureha needed a swift kick in the pants but with him hovering over my brother's unconscious body and a chief practitioner in his care I was hesitant. When he woke up and we'd sorted out some of the shit we were covered in I'd tell him.

I shake my head "It's nothing."

"Sophia." I fight the urge to look at him, knowing once I did my resolve would crumble "Sophia."

I grimace, the look hidden by my angled head and I hear him go to stand.

Sophia..." He was kneeling before me now "if this is going to work we need honesty, that's what you told me remember?"

"Fine, but I'm not going to tell you until you swear you won't get angry."

"What?"

"Swear, and you won't do anything violent!" When his eyes narrow suspiciously I sigh "I wanted to visit my brother today."

"Then why did you come here?" His voice wasn't angry or judgmental but soft.

"Because Kureha scares me."

At this, his face twists, confusion written in his eyes. Kaoru stands, sitting beside me on the large couch "why does he scare you."

"He um..." I clear my throat "he touches me more then he should. And when he looks at me I feel this sense of unease, like he's hiding something. Kozue's felt it too."

Kaoru's voice was softer than I thought it would be "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Because I didn't want a fight to break out. And he's one of the doctors watching my brother."

"I can make other arrangements." I sigh, running my fingers through my hair

"But that's just another thing to do!" his arm wrapped around me, pulling my body against his

"Sophia. Family is everything to me. You got your brother back, no one, not every Kureha should stop you from seeing him."

I open my mouth, trying to find some sort of complaint but it's useless. Everything he said was true. I knew he would argue every point I made. So I sigh, leaning my head on his chest. I feel him shift, sliding his hands under my legs and I'm placed over his lap, my legs resting across his lap, his head was resting on top of mine. His warm hand rubbing my thigh gently

"Is that why you asked Katsumi to go with you yesterday?"

"Well Katsumi happened to have an appointment already but yes," I sigh, my hands resting on his abs "I feel bad bothering you so much. I seem to have nothing but problems lately."

I feel him smile against my head, a gentle kiss follows "I have to keep everyone alive, worry about turf wars and running the largest organization if japan full of temperamental men and blood money. The problems you have are a charming distraction from the daily stresses of life."

I laugh softly "Spoken like a true Yakuza leader."

I feel his arms wrap around me "I'm serious," the grin was back, his lips moving against my hair and I was thanking God I'd washed it this morning "I have to think of things ten steps ahead, worry about all sides of the board and possible risks involved. With you, I don't have to think. I know what I want and I do what is needed. With you, I can be selfish." I feel my heart flutter the slightest, sliding a hand down to his "I can just be a boy, protecting the girl he likes... not that she needs it."

I smirk, feeling another kiss on my head and sigh, leaning into him more. He was so close, so warm and I wanted nothing more than to stay here forever. But sitting like this reminded me of the last time we were this close and I feel the deep blush hit my cheeks.

When I chuckle, turning my head into his chest he smiles "What?"

"Um... I'm just thinking of the last time we were this close." His deep laughter sends butterflies to my stomach "Um, we never talked about that... or anything about it... that."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I do and I don't." I feel the blush darken

I feel his smile again "Are you afraid of what I might say?"

"I'm afraid I might like what you say."

I let out a squeak of surprise with a laugh as Kaoru dips his head, peppering my neck with kisses. I use both hands trying to push him back but he pulls me closer, causing my laughter to increase. I had both hands on Kaoru's face, pushing him away from me, my body half pinned to the couch when a throat clears above us. Kaoru and I pause, our eyes shifting to a very unimpressed Kizaki with more papers and folders in his hands.

His eyes were twitching like some annoyed father walking in on his son's private time "Boss, you're supposed to be working."

I smile, pushing back Kaoru's face and thankfully he releases me. Kaoru walks back to his desk, takes a few more sheets from Kizaki and looks through them. Kizaki's face turns to me, a small pointed look on annoyance and I childishly stick out my tongue. I mean I still relent, of course, picking up my booklet but I still felt it was a little warranted.

The room fell into a small moment of silence, the scratching of my pen and the occasional clicking of keys on his large computer. That silence was broken by his voice "So what did you want to know?"

My eyes rise to meet his, brown on brown "From my conversations with Kozue and your confidence I'm sure you've had sex before."

While his eyes said it all I couldn't help but shiver "Yes."

"How old were you when you started?"

"Fifteen."

"With who?"

"A high-class escort. My men bought her for me for three nights as a birthday present."

"Are you still seeing her now?"

"I was, before our relationship."

I adjust my position, setting my folder on my lap "Did you sleep with certain women or anyone from your, what did Kozue say your "Assortment of beauties?" when face twists a bit I backpedal "Kaoru, I'm not angry. I'm jealous as hell, but what you did in your time as a single man isn't my place to judge. I'm only trying to grasp your version of this so it's not as overwhelming to hear." I run a hand through my hair "Kozue said the green-eyed monster was a bitch but I never understood it until now."

"Are you sure you want to do this now?"

I nod "I want to know the truth."

He sighs "In the beginning, there was a mix of women but when I hit sixteen I chose five women. They are supported by me, given a place to live and are waiting for me to call on them when I desire." When my face falls slightly he continues "I haven't called any of them since you became mine. It was a bit before that really, the day I took you to the hospital."

"And what happens to them now?"

"Well, I will inform them of the changes and let them go."

"Can you just toss them aside?"

He smiles "I would never toss them aside. I do care for each of them. When you sleep with someone Sophia you gain a certain level of trust and I wish for nothing but happiness for them but all five of them agreed to this arrangement with the knowledge that I would take a wife one day. When there free they can choose to go back into the work or settle down and do something else."

"Where would they go? Do they have to move?"

"No. I gave each of them an apartment, it is theirs to keep."

"Am I going to have to deal with a group of jealous women coming after me?"

He snorts, grabbing a few papers "No."

"Don't do that!" I snap, causing him to look at me "Don't knock yourself down like that! You are willing to see the potential in everyone else Kaoru, why can't you do that for yourself?!" his eyes widen slowly "What?! Do you honestly think no woman would fight to have you back?!" at his silence I toss my hands in the air "Why?! Why do you do that Kaoru! Why?!"

When he looks down my anger breaks "Do you think no woman could love you...?"

My face softens at the overwhelming silence and I stand, walking around the desk. I place three fingers on his chin, turning his face with ease and look down at him softly. I place both hands on his side and lean in, kissing him firmly. When I pull back both our cheeks were flushed and I lean my head down, knocking it against his gently "You are worth fighting for Kaoru."

When the silence continues I back up, walking back to the couch. The tense atmosphere was lighter and I smile softly, grabbing my books again. When he looks at me I smile softly, tilting my head to the left.

"And you?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

I snort, of course, he'd cheat... "Well I haven't slept with anyone, I haven't dated anyone either." I shift again "My dad was never in my life- or at least that I can clearly remember, so I didn't get to see my mom and dad interact. When my age group started talking about that I was convinced I'd marry my older brother." I snort again, covering my face "I mean that's embarrassing as hell now but he was the only man in my life that I truly loved. When he and mom died or when I lost him I didn't want to think about love. I focused on helping Imori's grandmother and school. Then when I came here I wanted to reconnect with my dad, when that didn't work out I met Takeda and he taught me to throw my pain and anger into kendo practice."

"Have you done other things before me?"

"Like Masturbation?" he nods and I shrug "Not really. I mean I have a bit and I understand the pleasure behind it but I spend most of my time training so any free time is spent with my friends. Plus after three hours of training, the last thing I want to do is more work." His smile matched mine "I mean I'm not snow white okay? I watch porn, I've masturbated, I've looked through sex shops online and ordered toys with Kozue but you are the first person I've done anything like that with."

"What kind of toys?"

"Well mostly just outside stuff." My hands circle over my pelvis "But I don't have a hymen anymore, Takeda took care of that." When his eyes narrow mine widen "Which means he kicked my ass with training and I tore it! He never did anything to me!" my hands rise in surrender "I was concerned at first but apparently it's very common, you can tear it from extreme exercise, horseback riding and bike riding to putting in a tampon or using your fingers up there."

Kaoru slaps a hand on his face, mindful of his glasses of course and laughs causing the blush to deepen on my cheeks "Sophia do you realize how close I was too..." more laughter comes and I look down, my cheeks were on fire.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say it like that!" I laugh, falling back on the long couch.

Kaoru clears his throat, coughing a few times to kill his laughter "So I'm the only person you've been with?"

I place a hand on my heart, sighing and run a hand through my hair "I've looked at a few people in our school but you were the only one that seemed to bring anything out of me. Well, Takeda can unlock old pain and help me through that but you are the only one that can infuriate me or overwhelm me or embarrass me or empower me." I shrug "I can't keep my emotions in check around you and I can't for the life of me figure out why."

"It's the same for me." His confession was quiet and shocking; my head snaps to him "You make me do things I've never done before. You made me second guess myself, you make me nervous that I'm not good enough for you and when I see you in the arms of another man I lose it." I lower my hands to my lap "When you got hurt I destroyed one of our cars." His eyes held mine with such power I was helpless to turn away "You are rash, emotional, stubborn and impulsive, I hate letting you out of my sight because I'm constantly thinking you'll get hurt. Yet you never give up, no matter how many things are against you. -You surprise me every day Sophia and I've never more proud of anyone then I am of you."

I sigh a happily painful sigh, looking at him with a small smile "Saying stuff like that makes 'taking things slowly' really difficult..."

His small smile matches mine and I wanted nothing more than to jump off this couch and into his arms but we could both hear Kizaki walking down the hall and I smile, already preparing myself for another lecture.

Oops.