Finn was at the tire shop under the chassis of a Ford Falcon with an oil leak when his phone started ringing, he wasn't supposed to have it with him while he was working. But Burt had stepped out so he slid out on the trolley to check the display, hoping it was Santana. He just needed to know she was okay, even if she didn't want to talk talk.

"Hey Kurt," Finn greeted his brother.

"Finn, did you enjoy yourself at the… is it still called a 'reception' if no wedding takes place?" Kurt got distracted with the specificities.

"Yeah, you know, I was dreading it, but now, I'm really glad I stayed," Finn was feeling really good about everything.

"Have you heard from Mr Schue?" Kurt enquired.

Finn explained, "Yeah, he's pretty bummed, just kind of laying low."

Finn had stopped obsessing about kissing Emma too. He figured Santana was right, that probably wasn't what caused her to run off. A marriage would be stronger than that, Miss Pillsbury and Mr Schue were meant to be.

"I've been thinking you know," Kurt tried to sound casual, "You really need to get out there, it's been a long time since you and Rachel ended things, it doesn't have to be anything serious, maybe just go on a date, or go dancing."

"Me dancing?"

Kurt suggested, "I'm gonna be back in a month or so, maybe we could go out for a 'boys' night out'."

"Thanks Kurt," Finn sounded sure of himself, "but you know, I don't think so. I already… got back out there, and I'm all good," Finn felt proud of himself for having turned a corner.

"Really, how did that happen?" Kurt seemed very interested in the answer.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Finn waved off explaining the encounter he'd had.

"Like that you slept with Santana, apparently multiple times?" Kurt sounded catty.

Finn was dead silent on the other end. How the hell!?

Santana told everyone. Again!

"How does that even happen?" Kurt couldn't contain his distaste.

"I was lonely, she was lonely," Finn sounded lost, then all he felt was annoyed, damn it, Santana! "She told you!"

"Rachel saw something, we've just had World War Glee here," Kurt explained, "and Rachel kicked Santana out."

"What!?" Now Finn was the one who was stunned, "Is she okay?"

"If you call sobbing for four hours straight, okay, then she's fine," Kurt was sarcastic.

Seriously? I didn't mean for this to happen.

"I meant, is Santana okay?" Finn clarified. You know since she's now homeless!

"Your first concern is Santana?" Kurt was shocked, but recovered quickly, "Interesting."

"We aren't together anymore," Finn explained, "I didn't want Rachel to find out, but we didn't do anything wrong."

"Okay Finn," Kurt was abrupt, clearly feeling the need to re-educate him, "Girls don't sleep with their friend's ex's, especially not when it was as serious as you and Rachel were."

"Since when are Santana and Rachel friends," Finn threw out, off handedly.

"Good point," Kurt conceded, "The 30 second truce is over, and now they hate each other again."

Finn didn't want to cause problems between them, but it was hard for him to feel sorry about what had happened at the reception, I needed her, she made me feel better. "What do you want from me, here?" Finn let Kurt hear his frustration.

But Kurt sounded well, curt, "Well, I hope it was worth it."

She was. But he didn't say anything.

"So, what's the deal, you were just happy to get back out there," Kurt still sounded pissed off, "or are you two keeping in touch?"

Finn was honest, "I don't know, Santana's kind of hard to pin down."

Kurt couldn't help it with the judgement, "I'm going to need you to explain to me how that even happened… you know, since you have a… burrito and Santana likes tacos."

"What?!" Whatever cutting culture references Kurt was making at his expense, Finn was lost. Or was that about Santana being Mexican, she's not actually Mexican though.

"You're a guy!" Kurt explained.

Finn had been thinking about it a lot, and while he'd never felt in the slightest bit attracted to another dude, Santana had spent years getting it on with guys, maybe for her it wasn't like it was for Kurt. Brittany was certainly into both. Or maybe it was something else, he didn't know, but he figured it was okay if there was no label for what it was.

"You know what, Kurt," Finn said with a touch of contempt, "not everything fits into neat little boxes."

You can tell me she's gay all day and it didn't mean anything, but I know it did.

He didn't even wait for his brother to respond, "I'll see you," Finn ended the call before anyone else could barrage him with anything else.

))))))

It was nearly midnight when he answered his phone mostly to stop it from making noise. It had been a week since the 'no wedding' reception and three days since he spoke to Kurt.

"Hello?"

"Say it isn't so!" Rachel demanded on the other end.

"Hello, to you too, Rachel," Finn covered his annoyance with humor.

They had been talking on the phone from time to time, and though he knew she didn't mean to, Rachel tended to gush about all the amazing stuff she was up to. And while he was happy for her, and didn't begrudge her, her success, Finn didn't feel she was equally happy for him. While she asked after him too, he always felt she was disappointed with whatever answer he gave. His stuff wasn't good enough for her.

"Santana!" Rachel practically yelled, "Again! You know how crazy she makes me!"

"Rachel, you and I aren't seeing each other anymore, and last time I checked you had a boyfriend," Finn reminded her calmly.

Rachel had clearly rehearsed her speech, "This is about showing some basic decency, by not… sleeping with my friends."

"You and Santana are not friends," Finn pointed out.

"We live in the same house, Finn," Rachel wasn't nearly done with her list of all his wrongful behavior though, "And don't shove it in my face."

Finn was ready for that particular barb, "Not shove it in your face by say, taking my new partner to a wedding when I know you'll be there?" He tried to keep his voice even for the delivery.

"That isn't fair," Rachel argued.

"You're right, you have every right to move on and take Brody to whatever you want," Finn was being honest, "it made me feel like crap, but I have to deal with my big feelings about it," Finn admitted for the first time out loud, "because it's not my place to tell you what to do," Finn was finally on the other side of it, so he knew it was right. "And I'll show you respect, but I'm gonna move on too, Rachel."

"Fine!" Rachel pouted, "just not with her."

"Rachel," Finn was annoyed, "I'm not doing this with you."

"Just not with her," Rachel repeated.

Finn really didn't feel like having this conversation, "Why do you have such a chip on your shoulder about her, anyway? She's a good person."

"No, she isn't," Rachel scoffed, "Santana is a jealous, manipulative, fucking whore… who is determined to make my life a living hell."

Finn didn't agree, but he tried to make Rachel feel heard, "Why do you feel that way?"

Rachel launched into her list of grievances, "Because she's sleeping with my ex just to fuck with me!"

So, Santana and I wasn't real, it was all about you! Rachel's assertion pissed him off.

"It had nothing to do with you," Finn insisted. Well, not directly.

"She just uses people, Finn," Rachel insisted, "She slept with you sophomore year just to cause problems for us."

"That's wasn't why," Finn disagreed, she told me why before we went on the date, so Sue would make her head cheerleader and she'd be more popular out of it.

He knew they'd both been naïve though, sex is never just sex, being intimate with someone does stuff to you, your head, not just your body. Finn knew that now, but he hadn't known it when he agreed to the date with Santana.

"Why then?" Rachel snapped.

"That's between her and me," Finn wanted to stop this discussion from going any further into a personal attack on Santana's character. "Santana's very upfront," Finn informed Rachel, "that's one of the things I admire about her."

That was clearly the wrong thing to say.

"And you think she's hot," Rachel reminded him, still sounding hurt by it all this time later, "no, what did you say 'superhot!'"

"Not this again," Finn sighed because he was genuinely sick of this, "Santana is not the reason we are broken up right now."

Rachel went to speak, but thought better of it and stopped.

Finn tried in vain to make her see, but he couldn't keep the irritation out of his voice, "Nobody has done anything wrong here… not you, not me and not Santana."

"You didn't hear what she said to me…" Rachel started to cry again, "She hates me and she couldn't wait to rub it in my face that she slept with you again. How can't you see what a manipulative bitch she is!"

Finn didn't think that was Santana's motivation this time. But he wasn't sure she wouldn't do that, so he remained silent.

Rachel was adamant, "Finn, I'm trying to look out for you, as your friend."

Yeah, right!

"We aren't friends, we'll never be friends," Finn suddenly understood it, surprising himself, "we were always into each other," He knew it was true as it left his lips, "even when we were dating other people, we've just been kidding ourselves."

"Finn," Rachel sounded desperate, she could see the turn in the conversation.

But Finn suddenly resolved, "I think we should give each other some space, so we can really move on, not just pretend to."

"No, Finn," Rachel teared up.

Finn was adamant, "No contact, not for a while."

"Finn," Rachel's voice cracked.

"I think we'll both come to see this is best."

Her only response was soft crying.

"I love you, you know I do," He tried to soften the blow, feeling torn inside, "but this has to be goodbye, for a while."

He let her hang up when she was ready. Finn didn't feel good about it.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

And then the grief set in. He cried, he wallowed, he didn't shower for nearly 2 weeks. He was grieving for the loss of his relationship, but also the makeshift plan he had in its place. That he would wait for her. Rachel would go and be a star, and when she was done with all of that and ready to settle down she'd come back and it would be like she never left.

It was ridiculous. Rachel was at the start of a four-year degree, and while he never doubted that she would make it, it could take a long time, and Rachel wanted to do it all, play all the big roles. Her career was everything to her. And even then, who's to say she wouldn't meet some handsome leading man and forget all about him. Rachel thought she wanted him right now, but once all these people start throwing themselves at her, he'd be forgotten. He was nothing special.

But it was the waiting that had proven too much. It's a long time to be so lonely and not to have any hope. Finn couldn't just go out there and have mindless sex, he needed more, it had to be real. He couldn't wait 15 years for Rachel to maybe come back. That isn't a life. He needed to actually move on now. It felt awful at present, because he'd lost all his hope in that future he was hanging onto.

After a while though, he started to think, he'd find a new hope and a new future to aspire to, and while cutting Rachel out of his life would hurt, somewhere down the track this was going to allow him to feel good again.

It needed to be. They would both see it in time.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

A month passed before Finn tried calling Santana again.

She finally responded with a text, 'I'm fine, Finn. In LA, staying with Mercedes. It's great here, I'm going to try my hand at acting. Come see us.'

Finn was relieved to hear from Santana and know that she was okay. He knew Santana was savvy and could take care of herself, but New York is a big place full of bad people, and he worried she might be in serious trouble since becoming homeless.

Once the offer was there though he couldn't stop thinking about it.

She asked me to come and see her.

Maybe she does want to pick up with me, but it was going to be really awkward while she was in New York, and now… she's not there, so?

He'd given up on acting pretty fast. The Actor's Studio isn't the only school. It only felt that way because he knew he had to pick somewhere in New York. But he didn't need to now. L.A. had to have so many places he could take classes. There were actually way more acting jobs in L.A. And the kind of acting he wanted to do. The more he thought about it, the more into the idea he became.

He had been working at the tire shop full time and living at home, so he had about $2000 saved, that was plenty.

He gave it a day or so before writing back, 'sounds awesome! say hi to Mercedes from me. Im glad ur happy. I think I will come- if you really mean that offer'

He waited nervously for her reply.

Santana just texted the address.

Awesome!

)))))))))))

Finn decided to drive to L.A., it was a long way, but he wanted to be able to take all his personal stuff with him. Mom and Burt were surprised, but happy he seemed to be motivated and willing to put himself out there.

Kurt must have told them something too, because a few days later his Mom started quizzing him about Santana. Finn was sitting at the kitchen table eating a sandwich.

"I thought she was gay? Weren't there ads or something?" His mom was confused.

Finn wasn't sure how to talk to her about it, "I really like her."

"Honey, I'm am so proud, that you are picking yourself back up, and chasing your dreams," She explained, with her concerned parent tone, "I just hope you aren't… putting all those hopes you had for you and Rachel onto the next girl, because that isn't fair."

"I'm not, Mom," Finn said, but then he didn't feel confident.

Fuck everyone making me second guess myself!

What happened the night of the reception was real. I know it was. And Santana can deny it all she wants, but I know she felt it too.

"Okay," Mom backed off it a bit, "Be careful. And just know, you can always come home, it's a big adjustment, so try to give it time, but if you hate it there, just come back, if you run out of money… whatever it is, call, okay."

Finn smiled.

She hugged and kissed him.

"My little boy's all grown up!"

)))))))))))

Burt talked to him on the day he left.

"I like a girl with a bit of sass," Was all he said regarding Santana, "I know you put it all out there, Finn, but maybe just hold back just a little, go slow," Burt clapped him on the shoulder.

"What makes you think I'm the one that's diving in?" Finn asked.

"She sent you one text message and you're moving to L.A." Burt pointed out.

Okay, maybe he does have a point.

"You're not going to give me the, 'she's a lesbian what are you thinking' lecture?" Finn asked.

"Kurt filled me in on all of that, but he also mentioned you have history with this girl, sophomore year history," Burt stared at him, giving Finn the opportunity to confess.

"Yeah, um, yeah," Finn felt ashamed, even now, "I… she was my first."

"Were you her first?" Burt asked a question that surprised Finn. Burt clearly didn't really know Santana, at all, apparently.

Finn shook his head.

"Well, good on you for trying again, because it's bloody hard, it took me years to try again," Burt really did look proud, "Gay, straight, anything in between, we all want to be treated with respect," Burt explained, "Maybe, you two are gonna be close friends, maybe more, but it's got to be built on a foundation of mutual love and respect."

"Can you make that advice more clear?" Finn asked, feeling like this was on a tangent right now.

"Don't rush, get to know her outside of Glee Club, who is she, what does she care about, what made her who she is, what are her hopes and dreams."

"I will," And Finn smiled, because he didn't know the answers to those questions right now, but he genuinely wanted Santana to let him in enough to tell him herself.

"And be careful, and safe," Burt said, "Use a condom."

Finn was mortified now, "I'm gonna go now."

Burt wasn't nearly done, "Lesbians can still get pregnant if you jizz in their…"

Finn covered his ears with his hands, "Nah na nah nah, nana nah nah!"

))))))

And so, Finn took to the open road with a bunch of classic rock to keep him company, and a picture Quinn had texted him of her and Santana at the wedding, but he'd cropped Quinn out of the picture.

They were only texting at this stage. Santana was too elusive to talk on the phone, but he was working on her. She responded pretty quickly to him when he texted now, so that was progress.

And he'd spoken to Mercedes. Far from a visit, she was encouraging him to move permanently, enroll in acting classes and go to auditions, like Santana. Apparently, her record label had put her up in a two-bedroom place, and Santana had the other room now. And Puck would sort of live in his van and breeze in and out as suited him when he needed to cook a meal or do laundry and would sometimes sleep on the couch.

He kept thinking this was a good combination of people, he and Puck had dreamed of LA together, and he wasn't afraid that Santana and Puck were going to rekindle anything. And Mercedes and Santana got along as well as any of the girls from Glee Club, outside of Brittany and Santana, but that was different.

And now he'd get the opportunity to see if it really could be real between them.

Awesome!

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

L.A. was so big, it just stretched on and on. There were so many of everything. He got completely lost looking for Lincoln Heights. As it turned out the apartment complex was only a mile from the San Bernardino Freeway. Finn didn't get much of a chance to look around, he was so tired, he just wanted to see some familiar faces.

"Finn!" Mercedes pulled him into a hug, she looked so excited to see him, "Welcome, welcome, welcome!"

Finn stepped inside her home and Mercedes gave him the tour. The apartment was only small, but fairly modern and nice. It even had a dishwasher, which was pretty fancy as far as he was concerned. The building had 20 flats or so, a pool, gym and laundry room. And they had a designated car space, though Mercedes was using it. The neighborhood was close to the Hollywood strip, but kind of rough. They were near Dodger Stadium.

Puck was sitting on the sofa, playing with his axe. He gave him a knowing smirk, "You're my hero, Dude!"

"Huh?" Finn didn't know what he meant.

"When you have the time, you really need to explain to me how you turn lesbians straight again, You da' man!" His friend beamed.

They hugged and Puck patted him on the back.

"She told you!" Finn was starting to feel really pissed that everyone knew about their encounter that had been so wonderful and private.

"Santana hasn't said a word," Mercedes readily admitted, "I told him. Kurt told me."

He turned back to Mercedes, "Speaking of Santana… is she here?"

"In her room," Mercedes pointed.

Finn felt so nervous, he went and knocked. He could hear old timey soul music playing.

She cracked the door open then stepped back away and sat on her double bed. Santana looked casual in a white fitted tee and blue jeans with her hair out.

"Hi," He beamed, knowing he couldn't contain his excitement at seeing her.

Santana was kind of blushing. She looked girly and shy for some reason.

"This seat taken?" Finn sort permission to sit next to her on the bed.

The only bit of personalization in the room was a Lady Gaga poster on the back of the door.

"It's nice," He said of the room, "How are you settling in?"
"L.A.'s a cool place, I like this neighborhood, keeps my Spanish sharp," She grinned.

"Are you taking classes?" He asked.

"Enrolled, but they don't start yet. Just getting a job, and going to auditions."

"We haven't really talked… since," Finn tried to start the conversation, considering now if it might have been easier if he'd prepared a song instead.

"Yeah," She looked at her boots.

"Do you regret what happened?" Finn asked the question he needed the answer to.

She shook her head, but still didn't look at him.

Sweet relief.

"I was thinking, you and I have never been on a proper date," Finn explained, "Maybe we could take things really slow, and just get to know each other better."

Santana still seemed really tense. And silent.

Just because she's not regretting it, doesn't mean she wants to do it again, either, he reminded himself.

"Or not," Finn said, "I'll understand if you don't want anything more, we can just be housemates."

But he was dying inside. Please, I just need a fresh start.

"No pressure," But Finn was scrambling to understand her hesitation.

"You're in love with someone else," Santana said flat out, "and so am I."

Finn nodded, "But we aren't with either of them now, they've both moved on and we need to try too."

Santana still looked caged. Santana was all fidgety, which he didn't expect, it felt as awkward as the post-sex avoidance after the first time.

"So maybe, without any pressure, we could hang out and have fun," Finn explained it simply, "and see if maybe, whatever this ends up being, helps us both… move on?"

Santana got up and went over to her iPod that was hooked up to some speakers on top of her tallboy. She put on a song Finn instantly recognized. Then she started pacing the room nervously.

Rather than talking she started singing with her perfect Amy Winehouse voice,

"Meet you downstairs in the bar and heard
Your rolled-up sleeves and your skull t-shirt
You say, "Why did you do it with her today?"
And sniff me out like I was Tanqueray

'Cause you're my fella, my guy
Hand me your Stella and fly
By the time I'm out the door
You tear men down like Roger Moore

I cheated myself
Like I knew I would
I told ya I was trouble
You know that I'm no good

Upstairs in bed with my ex-girl
She's in the place, but I can't get joy
Thinking of you in the final throes
This is when my buzzer goes

I cheated myself
Like I knew I would
I told ya I was trouble
You know that I'm no good"

She'd changed the lyrics to 'her'.

Finn finally understood, this isn't a sex thing.

Finn signaled her to cut the music, and she did.

Finn spoke, "Do you like like me?"

She looked pensive. She crossed her arms defensively, and her tone was panicked, "You're such a good guy, Finn." The implication of her words was clear, that Santana didn't think she was a nice girl.

Finn couldn't believe it. This is a very different dilemma, that's for sure.

He knew what he needed to do, "Whatever concerns you have about yourself," He tried to explain how he felt, "I don't have them about you," Finn knew he was more confident about this than he'd been about anything in ages, "underneath everything, I know you have a wonderful heart, Santana, no matter how hard you try to hide it."

"You don't know me very well," She was being self-depricating.

"I know enough."

"I don't see how this can possibly work," She said, still defensive.

Finn tried to allay what was obviously her other fear, "I've been warned, if you end up leaving me for a girl, well… okay… I'll accept that is a risk," He held up his hands in surrender.

She was still, but he felt her mask was about to peel off and she was going to cry, but she was trying really hard to hold it all in.

"Please, go out with me," Finn persisted, gesturing with his hand for her to take it, and his offer.

Santana was still for a while, not sure what she wanted to do.

"You're so corny!" Santana jibed, but she sat back next to him on the bed, and she finally reached out her hand.

Awesome!

"Tomorrow night?"

Santana held up her hands, "I'm am not going to the fucking Sing-a-along Sound of Music or some other Broadway bullshit!" She warned him, "I'm not Berry."

"I don't want you to be Rachel," Finn was clam, but couldn't contain how happy he was, "just be you."

"So, you want to go to a Lesbian Bar, then?" She asked.

"I'll come up with something," He pecked her lips, "Awesome!"

He left the room before she could change her mind.