A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, much appreciated!
Literally minutes after Santana had run off to work having dropped a bomb on Finn, Puck walked in the door.
"Dude, you okay?"
Finn just stood there, rooted to the spot. He finally stated, "No."
"What's up?"
"I can't," Finn shook his head. He just felt so mad and ashamed.
"You wanna go for a ride on my hog?" Puck asked.
Finn took a moment to understand the question. His bike.
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Finn had to sit in the side car. He was far too tall for it, so his knees were literally up against his chest. He was worried about the whole thing toppling over. It didn't. They went to the Hollywood Hills to get above the city. From there they could look down on all the lights. They created a shimmering effect now that it was dark.
Finn was feeling rather light on friends. If Finn talked to Kurt, he'd tell Rachel. And if he talked to Mercedes, she'd probably tell Kurt, who'd tell Rachel. Puck had literally cheated with two of his girlfriends, but he knew Santana pretty well, so his advice might be useful.
"How goes the pool cleaning?" Finn said, because he wasn't ready to talk talk yet.
"It's going, no shortage of pools, or hot mamas for that matter," Puck joked, "I just wish I had more time for music though. I ploughed this chick the other day… oh man!"
Finn didn't really want to hear the rest of that story, "Are you gonna get your own place soon?"
Puck seemed a bit disappointed, "I've got the money saved, but living on your own is pretty expensive, you know, security deposit and stuff, and then all the bills by myself…"
It was the first time Finn had given it serious thought, "Are you looking for a housemate?"
"Well, yeah," Puck said, surprised, "Did you finally get sick of Santana's mood swings?"
That simple question hung in the air. Finn focused on the glittering lights below, trying to hold it all in.
Puck waited, pulling out a hip flask of some kind of booze, and taking a long skull before offering it to Finn. I hope he hadn't had too much of that before he drove us here! He felt confident in his refusal. Then again, maybe he could use some liquid courage.
"Santana cheated on me," Finn finally exclaimed.
"Yeah, and?" Puck's tone suggested that was inevitable, "the ocean is wet."
He's stating the obvious.
"I know we haven't been seeing each other very long," Finn admitted, his frustration evident, "and Santana won't admit she's my girlfriend, but it's still serious between us."
"Santana's hot but she's a handful, Dude," Puck just gave him the bro back pat, as if to say 'my condolences', "I used to just ignore her bullshit or apologize if I thought I'd get crazy hot make-up sex out of it."
"But you two were never serious," Finn pointed out.
"Santana approaches everything like she's expecting everyone to fuck her over."
"But I didn't… fuck her over," Finn stated.
"What happened right before the cheating?" Puck asked.
It all clicked for Finn, "Rachel showed up from New York, unannounced… Santana flew off the handle."
Puck pointed out, "Santana's the ultimate, 'fuck you over before you can fuck her over."
That did make sense. She thought I was going to break-up with her, so she made it on her terms.
"How did you find out she cheated?" Puck asked.
"She just told me," Finn detailed.
He explained how Rachel had just shown up and things got tense and he'd told Santana they were only going to talk, then she was out when he got back after telling Rachel that he was happy and staying here.
Puck looked incredulous, "Are you sure she actually did cheat on you?" He smiled wryly, "that wasn't a big window of time, she's probably just sayin' she did to see what you'll do."
Finn was flabbergasted, "You think she'd do that?"
Puck continued, "If you dump her, she'll probably conclude you are too sensitive for her or whatever…"
"So, this is a head game?"
"Probably, Dude."
Finn didn't want to be with someone who'd do stuff like that. Make up shit just to hurt him. But he really didn't think Santana was like that, underneath it all. Finn was feeling more hopeless by the minute, "What do I do?"
Puck told him straight, "Santana's a controlling bitch. Either give her the reins or bow out now!"
Let her hook up with random women whenever she wants. Finn concluded, "I can't let her walk all over me,"
"Why do you think it worked out so well between Santana and Brittany," Puck sounded amused by their relationship, "Brittany's so away with the birds she can barely function."
"Yeah, so?"
"Brittany's Santana's child as much as she was ever her girlfriend." Puck just shrugged, "Santana's gonna boss you around," before adding, "but you seem to like that."
No doubt Puck meant that he'd just replaced Rachel with Santana.
Puck stood with the heir of someone who thought he was wise, clapping Finn on the back, "You can't screw the same girl for over a year and not learn anything about her."
Finn didn't feel optimistic, "Do you think she can change?" Finn asked.
Puck thought on that carefully, and then just shrugged.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Santana POV ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
It had only taken about a week for Santana to detest working at Spotlight Diner. At first it was fun-ish. The outfit was sexy and getting to sing while at work was novel. Now, all Santana could think was that it was cosmic payback for all her antics as a spoiled high schooler, sending dishes back to the kitchen and being generally rude to wait staff. This is hell! Either, customers took their shitty day or shitty food out on you, like I made it, asshole! Or somehow, the sleezy old men mistook this place for a brothel and thought it was okay to squeeze her ass when she dropped off their food. But she had to constantly hold her tongue, because she needed this stupid job. And the pay was triflingly inadequate for all the abuse she had to take.
Today it was all of that, times a million. Santana felt so heavy and so tired. At least tomorrow was her one day off. Five more minutes, and this shift that never seemed to end would be over. And then what?
She'd fucked everything up with the kindest guy that had ever lived. And now Santana Lopez had no one to blame but herself.
He told Rachel to back off. For me!
She liked being with Finn. She liked feeling cared about. Finn left her in no doubt that he cared. She felt wrapped up in his warmth just being near him, to her it was an intoxicating feeling, and something that had always drawn her to Brittany.
Fucking idiot! She admonished herself. Then Santana wanted to kick something.
And then Finn walked through the door of the diner. Santana couldn't believe her eyes, blinking just to make sure. He didn't say anything, he just waited. He's still here to walk me home, after everything? Santana couldn't understand it.
Or he's here to break up with me.
She felt her stomach lurch. She slowed down, feeling light headed as she sorted the last of her duties. She told Craig in the kitchen she was off and put her coat on and grabbed her bag. She went and got the leftover food she was taking home that evening and offered Finn the baggy of chocolate cake, a measly peace offering. Finn was caught by surprise and so just accepted it. They began the walk back to the apartment together, but not arm in arm as they usually were. But still side by side. Silent.
Santana felt nervous with every step, her gut was turning, like she was taking her final walk to the guillotine. If you're gonna do it, just do it already.
Santana had long since worked out that Finn walking her home was about his concerns for her safety, not sex, since he was so much less sexual than any teenage boy had any reason to be. Stuff like that pissed her off, like she couldn't take care of herself! But, he didn't act all controlling about it. And now that he wasn't working here, it was their special alone time. He'd ask about her day and she'd ask about his. The fact that she'd just stomped on him, for no good reason really, and he was still here, just made her feel worse.
And now all she felt was a deep sense of regret. I fucked this up, big time.
She waited for the inevitable.
When they were almost home, Finn finally spoke, "I know Rachel coming here was a shock, and you're feeling like you don't matter to me," Finn said, with that sincerity that the world didn't seem to be able to beat out of him.
Santana felt so guilty. Don't be nice to me.
"Did you really cheat on me?" Finn suddenly asked, "Or were you just trying to hurt me by saying you did?"
Was he giving her an out? If she said she made it up, would he forgive her and take her back and they could move on? Did she want to have to lie to him every day though?
Santana felt too guilty to be convincing. I'm sorry. Please don't leave.
But she couldn't say it. Her whole chest felt tight, like she was in a room and the walls were pressing in from all sides. She didn't need to look at Finn's face, he knew she had. And he felt mad.
As soon as they were inside she disappeared into the bathroom. Finn was going to wait up, no doubt he wanted to have 'the talk'. And all Santana could think was delay, delay, delay.
When she finally came out. He was still sitting on the couch, as she knew he would be.
"Please…" Santana said, "just not tonight," She sounded as defeated as she felt.
Finn looked disappointed, but he didn't press the issue. Proving once again, what a good guy he was.
I am such a fucking idiot! She kept berating herself.
And then she just felt so tired. Weighed down by it all. She deliberately didn't set her alarm, so she'd miss him going off to work in the morning.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Mercedes POV)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Rachel sat down at the small table outside at the café not far from Mercedes' flat in Lincoln Heights. It was Monday mid-morning, and Mercedes had found time to squeeze in a quick coffee.
Rachel launched straight into her justification for her sudden arrival, "I just realized I hadn't taken you up on the offer to visit, and with Finn's good news about the job… well, it just felt like the right time."
Ummm hmmmm…. nothing to do with you finding out Finn and Santana are dating…
"How's NYADA?" I ask.
"Well, since the Winter Showcase everything's amazing! People just look at me different, like… they can see my star quality now."
Kurt did say you've been unbearable!
"That's an amazing accomplishment, Rachel," and I really do mean that on my part, "Kurt told me it's rare for a freshman to even perform, let alone win."
Rachel can't help but gloat, "I'm the first freshman to ever win it, in its entire history."
Okay, fine! You do deserve bragging rights. I'll humor you for 15 minutes. Then I'm cutting you off!
"Tell me about it," I ask, and I really do listen, because as much as she drives me nuts, Rachel is very talented.
"Well, first Carmen hand delivered the invitation herself, I was in dance class… the class run by Broadway train wreck Cassie July, I hate her, so it was so satisfying to be presented with that honor right in front of her," Rachel begins her narrative in excruciating detail.
I know 15 minutes isn't nearly enough time now.
Rachel is oblivious, "She's kind of like a drunken Santana and Sue morphed together," She comments, "In that she actually enjoys humiliating her students."
Santana is my friend, or have you forgotten?
I zone in and out, but the main thing is Rachel sang… the crowd went wild… and she did an encore…. Kurt tells this story differently, Rachel forgets to even mention Kurt's performance, you know the one that got him accepted to NYADA.
And then for kicks I check my watch and start timing how long it will take for her to ask me a single question about myself. God give me strength.
"…so that's how I won the Winter Showcase," Rachel says.
45 minutes later!
My double expresso arrived, I drank it, I ordered a second one and now I've just finished that one.
"That's really impressive, Rachel, I'm so happy for you."
And I do mean it, it's a big deal. On the other hand, I'm remembering why I never hang out with Rachel without Kurt. Because I need buffer!
"I can't believe Finn landed that job so fast!" Rachel says.
At least she has moved onto the real reason she's here; spying on Finn and Santana.
Rachel continues, ignorant to my thoughts about her actions.
"I mean, he hasn't even been here very long, and never really taken an acting class, it's amazing to get such a big break so quickly."
Don't even pretend you are here to see me or ask about my recording contract!
"Yeah, he's talented, I guess the casting director could see it," I say.
Because Finn is doing well. I wasn't sure he was hard enough to survive the reel 'em in and spit 'em out mentality that is Hollywood, but I'm thrilled he's proving me wrong so far. "There's talk his part is going to be extended, apparently he's been impressing the right people."
"That's so good, so he'll be staying here longer," Rachel's mouth says, but she doesn't look in the slightest bit happy about that. "And Santana?" Rachel asks, "Is she working yet?"
"At the diner mostly, but I think she's getting murdered on CSI soon."
"Can't wait to see it!" Rachel's comment is probably meant to be snide, but I let it go. I might hate the girl who dated my ex, especially if I already didn't like her beforehand.
"It's filming in two weeks, it won't be on TV for months probably."
"Finn and Santana…" Rachel's tone is catty, "I feel like hell has frozen over…"
I think someone needs to be straight with her, "Finn seems better than he's been in a long time, he's got his confidence back."
"How long have they been… together?" She asks.
"Pretty much since he got to L.A." I tell her the truth. She deserves that much.
Rachel was clearly afraid that was the answer.
"How serious is it?" Rachel seems to be nervous as to what I'll say.
"They do lots of stuff together," I freely admit. "I don't think I could stand to see another person that much. But, I guess Brittany and Santana used to do everything together, so maybe she likes that?"
My words only seem to pain Rachel further.
"And Finn?" Rachel is quick to redirect me, "They don't fight? Or get on each other's nerves?"
"Sure, they have little arguments, like all couples do," I tell her but I feel the need to defend my friends too, "But they seem pretty solid to me… obviously Finn is worried about…"
"Worried about what?"
"Being too intense… we all know Santana's afraid of commitment, so he's trying not to scare her off." I've said too much, Rachel isn't here to come to terms with them dating. What she wants is to know where the cracks are, so she can break them up.
"Rachel," I try to fix it as best I can, "Finn is good, if you want what's best for him, then do what he asked, give him time and space."
Her face says she thinks that the worst news she's ever heard.
I continue with my guidance, not that I expect she will listen, at all, "I think for now you need to… let it be. He's good."
Listening to me would imply Rachel accepts that I know better than her.
"I just didn't expect…" She says absently, "it to hurt this much."
"Because he's moving on, or because it's Santana?" I ask.
Because I think Rachel needs to examine her motives. They've been broken up a while, she's been living with a boyfriend, it seems petty to begrudge him the same. But then, it's Rachel so who knows.
"Santana's just so… and he's so…" Rachel begins, her shock at the whole thing evident, "It was bad enough when I thought it was just sex, but this…"
I shrug, "Like I said, they both seem happy, Rachel."
"Doesn't she walk all over him?" Rachel isn't letting it go, "Santana can beat you up with her words, at the drop of a hat, I can't imagine Finn being able to take it."
"Santana doesn't attack people she loves…" I say, before I immediately regret my word choice. "We all get along really well, even when Puck drops by, no one is attacking anybody," I try to cover what I said by bringing everyone else in.
Rachel looks disappointed and so sad, and I don't have any sugar to coat this spoonful of medicine with.
"I shouldn't have come here," Rachel exclaims, having realized herself.
You're just realizing this!
"I think I'm gonna go," Rachel excuses herself dramatically so she can go cry somewhere.
Good. She needs to accept that it's over for now.
I'm left sitting by myself.
"And how are you, Mercedes?" I say out loud to no one, "And that album you are writing, how's that going?" Because if I don't kick open a vent, this steam room in my mind might just explode. "I'm so happy for you," I say dripping with as much sarcasm as I can muster. And no one hears.
And people think I'm a diva!
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Rachel POV ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Rachel just kept in her feelings about everything. She left the cafe and as she walked back towards her motel she burst into song.
"Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did
Ha, time for a little revenge
The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and
I had it all, I had him right there, where I wanted him
She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you can say sabotage"
She kept walking, not caring who was staring or what they thought.
"I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it
I underestimated just who I was dealing with
She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum
She underestimated just who she was stealing from
She's not a saint and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha!
She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list
She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it
I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling
And she thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things"
Rachel just had to get all these feelings out of her.
"But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go
Oh, they didn't teach you that in prep school, so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity
She's not a saint and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha!
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him, but haven't you heard?
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him, but I always get the last word
Whoa, whoa-ah-oh"
Every second she thought about Finn and Santana together she just got more mad. How could Finn think that… slut was the better choice!
"She's not a saint and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa (she deserved it)
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha!
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
'Cause I don't think you do, oh (No, no, no, no)
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing? (No)
I don't think you do, I don't think you do
Let's hear the applause
Come on, show me how much better you are
See you deserve some applause
'Cause you're so much better
She took him faster than you could say sabotage"
She doesn't care about him! Santana doesn't care about anyone but herself. Can't he see, I'm the one who understands him.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))Santana POV )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Today, Santana hated everything with extra vengeance. Not only had the manager called her up and told her she had to work on her day off, but the shift itself sucked extra too! First, there was the pervy, retired English teacher sitting in her section who was ogling her every time she refilled his coffee. Then there was the mom sitting with her bratty little ones that were both screaming for sundaes. The two musicians who came in drunk before the gig they were going to, making sexist jokes. As if the day could get any worse, then Rachel FUCKING Berry walked in and sat in her section.
Great!
She knows I can't avoid her now. Santana asked another member of the wait staff, Karen, to take Rachel for her, trading off the fussy married couple who were regulars no one liked, since they barely tipped. It didn't work though, Rachel insisted she wanted 'her old friend' to take her order.
She's probably getting off on my servitude!
Besides Finn, Rachel was the last person Santana wanted to see right now.
Santana took a deep breath to calm herself, she plastered that impassive mask on her face and strolled up to the booth, "What can I get you?" As she would to any random stranger.
Rachel looked unsure for a moment, like she'd forgotten she needed to order as a pretext to this forced conversation, "Umm, I'll take a vanilla milkshake."
And the guy I'm sorta living with!
"With soy milk."
Santana forced herself to say insincerely chipper, "Coming right up." All punctuated with a big fake smile. She turned on her heel to put the order in before Rachel could demand anything else.
It wasn't long before Diva-from-Hell put a song on the jukebox, effectively forcing Santana to be her dancing monkey too, since she had to bust-a-move now in front of the patrons.
Santana knew the moment the intro started to play that Berry had chosen an extra humiliating song. And the dance she had to do as part of her job to this particular song, was barely distinguishable from a lap dance. Santana went to the jukebox, and held her position. She started to sing.
"The minute you walked in the joint
I could see you were a man of distinction"
Santana had to sway her hips one side then the other to the beat.
"A real big spender
Good lookin' so refined
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in my mind?"
Then she had to shimmy from her shoulders, letting her ample cleavage jiggle. It was one thing when Santana chose to dance like this of her own free will, but having to do it as part of your job, made her feel cheap. And it sent a message to customers that it was okay to treat you like you were for sale too.
"So let me get right to the point
I don't pop my cork for every man I see
Hey big spender,
Spend a little time with me"
She had to thrust her hips on the repeated words.
"Wouldn't you like to have fun, fun, fun
How's about a few laughs, laughs
I could show you a good time
Let me show you a good time!"
Santana had to grind against Karen and look seductive for the next part.
"The minute you walked in the joint
I could see you were a man of distinction
A real big spender
Good lookin' so refined
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in my mind?"
Santana kept shaking her hips and ass and tried not to make eye contact with any of the patrons. Berry no doubt knew this song was from Sweet Charity. Like I'm actually a prostitute, soliciting a John. Well, Rachel had said the only job I was going to have was dancing on a pole.
Bitch!
"So let me get right to the point,
I don't pop my cork for every guy I see
Hey big spender
Hey big spender
Hey big spender
Spend, a little time with me
Yes"
And finally her humiliation was over. Santana slinked off to take more orders.
"Can we talk?" Rachel asked as Santana strolled passed.
Can I? Like I have a choice!
"I said everything I had to say to you in New York," She said flatly, not waiting for Rachel to respond.
"Why?" Rachel apparently didn't care that Santana had said 'no', "Why did you go after Finn?" Rachel asked, "I have to know."
You really think this is about you. Don't you.
Carly Simon's voice started singing the chorus to 'you're so vain' in her head.
"It stopped being your business when you two broke up," Santana said defensively, crossing her arms. Santana was going to follow up with a snarky comment to the effect of 'butt out', but she couldn't help but raise a question of her own. "So, what's the point here, Berry?"
"Excuse you?"
"Why are you here?" Santana stated as if she were an idiot. "You obviously aren't moving to L.A., so what is your purpose here?" Santana interrogated the selfish brat, "come make things awkward for me and Finn, convince him to break-up with me? He just got a good acting job here, you can't seriously think he's going to come to New York with you now."
Rachel was speechless at that.
"So, why are you here?" Santana repeated her question, "Are you really going to be the selfish Diva-from-Hell that tries to convince him to give up his aspirations to be the guy who holds your purse."
"No!" Rachel gasped for words.
"You didn't think it through did you," Santana knew she was right, "You heard he was seeing me, and you couldn't take it, so you jumped on the first flight you could get to convince him it's madness."
Rachel didn't have much of an answer to that. She was struggling to come up with a justification.
"I just want to know why," Berry stated plainly, "I think you owe me that much."
Santana felt like slamming Rachel's head into the table, but instead she took a deep breath and reminded herself she needed this job. In a controlled voice she replied, "I don't owe you squat!"
Minutes later, when Santana delivered her milkshake. Rachel took a single sip before slowly and deliberately pouring the entire contents on the table and the floor.
"Oops!" She said, insincerely.
Then Rachel was walking out, leaving Santana to mop up the mess.
It took every ounce of Santana's being not to hurl her order pad at Berry's retreating head.
I need this job.
I need this job.
Take a deep breath.
A/N: Not the best songs in this chapter...