Not even an hour later they stood at a grave site. The wind that ran through the small town had been chilly; the kind of wind that finds a way to go past layers of clothing, thick skin, and find solace in bone. Once the wind had found shelter inside there was no amount of layers or warmth that could rid it. Every attempt had been futile.

Much like grief.

About a hundred people came to give their respects to Kathryn Joy Scott's beautiful life. Stephen and Mary Dawson, the people who brought Kate out of South Korea to give her a home, sat to the right of Lucas. Her brothers, Patrick and Nicholas, both adopted as well from the same country, sat on their other side with their wives behind them. Haley and Nathan sat behind Lucas. Haley held onto the baby trying to keep her warm from the cold grief swarming the atmosphere.

Lucas sat staring at the coffin in front of him made of Mahogany wood. The only reason he actually knew what kind of wood it was called merely, because Kate had dragged him to a flooring store a month ago. She made him sit through explanations of the pros and cons of different styles of wood by a rather unexcited salesman. Kate jabbed Lucas subtly in the side when Lucas would look as if he was about to nod off with the salesman.

Suddenly, he longed for the jab. Not even the jab, but her touch. The touch that still years later had the power to make his hairs on his neck go rigid and run through his blood like electricity. She always touched him whether it was through hugging or holding him. Sometimes she would be walking past him as he sat hunched over the computer and she would let her fingers graze his back.

There were so many things Lucas longed to have back, her touch being on the list. He knew as time went by he would realize all the things he took for granted would never be there. That reason alone he dreaded the passing of time. Currently his biggest fear had been going back to the house they built into a home together. He knew her smell would smack him silly upon entering. Memories would offer the same injury. All together their dream had become a nightmare. A nightmare did not even cover it. A nightmare is something someone can wake up from. It did not look like that was going to happen to him anytime soon.

The preacher spoke about hope through trials such as these. Lucas drowning in his ocean of grief barely could comprehend what the man said. He tried to focus, but then the sight of the coffin disrupted his attention. He just could not understand why it was not him in the coffin. Why could it have been? Kate's presence brought so much joy into everyone's life she touched. Whether that would have been the guy at the fast food drive thru or close friends and family. She brought light into every room she walked into with her energy and optimism.

Lucas had failed to bring anything like that and now without her, he surely couldn't.

The preacher at one point quit talking which prompted Nicholas to stand up in front of the crowd and talk about his older sister. While Patrick had been adopted from a different family three years before, Nicholas and Kate were from the same family. The two of them were left on a city bus, at four and eight months old, as they slept. Kate rose to the occasion like so many young ones had in their country and took care of her baby brother. They wandered around homeless and finding scraps to eat before an orphanage brought them in. The president of the orphanage found Kate asleep prompted up in an alley holding her sleeping baby brother tightly. Not even two months had past in their new shelter when a couple, unable to conceive, pushed for their adoption.

Because of how they started their first few years of life, Kate and Nicholas were very close. Nicholas insisted in doing the eulogy insisting he had known his sister the longest and that she had saved his life. He stood before the crowd clutching his notes with all his strength as he trembled. His eyes were covered in sea of water. His speech gave his older sister justice to its full extent.

"And Lucas," Nicholas slowly spoke bringing his brother in law to look up, "Know that she loved you so much from the day she met you. You were all she ever talked about. She saw so much in you. Take care of that beautiful baby girl knowing she is our last piece of Kate."

Lucas's eyes fell downward knowing he had not taken care of that last piece, let alone looked at her. He hated the fact that his daughter was the last piece of Kate he had, but Nicholas was right. Not many people who lose someone they love so quickly and violently get the blessing of having a piece of them.

Later that afternoon, Nathan and Haley opened their home for a luncheon for the guests to attend. With the food warm as well as the house with all the people who cared, there still ran an underlying level of cold. Lucas hobbled around on his crutches trying to make conversation with the guests. He failed miserably at responding or saying anything intelligible.

At one point, he saw the clock and realized he needed to take his pain medicine. He slowly limped back with his crutches making a sound with every step which went against his attempt to be invisible. He walked down the lonely hallway to the guest room when he heard noise coming from Nathan and Haley's room. For the first time since the accident, curiosity filled inside of him. He pushed open their door and saw his week old daughter laying in the middle of their bed surrounded by pillows.

Lucas looked around to see if Haley would run past him to take care of her. When she did not come, he put his crutches aside and limped over to towards the head of the bed. He slowly sat down on the bed hoping not to hurt the baby or his leg. He stared at the little thing in front of him. Her little arms moved around as her eyes slowly opened as she made grunting noises.

Lucas looked around and saw her pacifier right on the side of her. He picked it up and gently put in her mouth. Taking a deep breath, he scooped up the little girl in his arms. At first he held her out at a distance not knowing if his heart could take this introduction. He remembered though what his brother in law had said about her being the last piece of Kate so he drew her closer.

The baby's small eyes shifted around everyone. Her head was covered in dark hair with a lace head band around it and a big white flower. Her flat nose and dark eyes looked just like her mother which took Lucas's breath away. Both slowly and trembling, he brought his ring finger, still with a ring of vows around it, and touched her smooth face. The touch brought her eyes up to look at him.

The moment they made eye contact, Lucas's eyes filled again with tears. When the baby touched his face, the tears came down.

"Hey baby girl," he choked. "Can you forgive daddy for not meeting you right away?"

The baby sat there and listened more intently then anyone had in the past week. They stared at each other in silence with the occasional grunt from the baby. Lucas stayed locked in her big eyes. His own eyes watered feeling like he was looking into Kate's not more then a week ago. Their daughter had been absolutely beautiful and for the first time since the accident, he swelled with pride.

With the rising emotion, Lucas realized how much he had been beating himself for the death of his wife and unborn son. He felt like the entire accident was his fault. He should have been able to move fast enough to grasp the keys and get them off the tracks. For a man who once moved quickly up and down a basketball court bringing his team, with his brother's help, to a state championship, he should have been able to get those keys. He should have never stopped at the train at all. They should have driven right through and would have been safe in their bed by the time the accident happened.

Lucas realized just then the reason why he refused to meet the baby. While it was true he was afraid to see the spitting image of his wife, he was more afraid to look in the eyes of her spitting image, when it was his fault in the first place Kate was gone.

Tears rolled down his cheeks, "Daddy is so sorry. He is the reason mommy and your brother aren't alive. It's all my fault. I should have gotten us off those tracks. I'm so sorry. It's my fault one of the most beautiful creations is gone."

Lucas went to sob, but stopped himself. He sniffed and shook his head. The baby just stared up at him watching his every move. He realized Kate would have had a fit if he blamed himself for everything.

"Baby girl, we gotta move past this together, okay? Me and you. Daddy's little girl. That's what your mommy would have wanted."

The years rolled by fast.