Lucas's eyes fluttered open slowly. Haley had dropped him off at his house so he could rest. He looked around his bedroom. The walls were colored deep ocean blue under Kate's advisement eight years ago. He had no desire to change the color because they produced such a sweet memory.
Kate curled up under the bed sick with some sort of nasty chest infection. She had been laid up all week. Generally, her busy nature made resting absolutely insane and hard to accomplish but this sickness kicked her completely down. Even a jaunt to the bathroom completely exhausted her. Lucas knew she was really sick when she was able to rest and was super emotional and clingy.
He had his face buried in his laptop trying to write the book while his wife lied in the bed watching a movie. He didn't even need to watch it to know what part was coming.
"Lucas, come watch with me please." She called.
Lucas buried his head in his hands as the cursor blinked on and off making fun of him for not being able to write another chapter. He had a deadline to get the first five chapters done by the end of the week and though he was close to be accomplishing that, he knew watching a three hour and something minute movie about a ship sinking was not something he could or wanted to do.
"I have got the finish this chapter."
Lucas could hear her deeply painfully sounding cough followed by her sniffling. When Kate was sick, she loved to curl up and watch Titanic. Every time the terror of the water takes on the ship, she never could make it through that part alone. She always needed her man to get through the part. Lucas was happy to play the hero, but tonight he was just annoyed.
"Luke, please. That part is coming." She begged.
Lucas sighed and stood up. He walked into their bedroom to find his poor feverish wife curled up wearing one of his t-shirts and basketball pants. The clothes drowned her tiny body. Her face lit up seeing him at the door way. When she beckoned him once more, he crawled into bed with her. He opened his arms knowing she would want to lay her head on his chest. Sure enough, she did. He wrapped his arms around her and with every breath could hear her wheeze.
"When's the last time you used your inhaler?"
"Shhh…it's coming." Kate's raspy voice instructed.
Sure enough the part came. Kate got super emotional at the scene when water is overwhelming the ship and the instrumentalists start playing. The tears stuck in her throat officially came out when at the part when the old couple is in bed and the husband holds his crying wife. Lucas knew she wanted to be held tighter at the part. So he did.
The movie carried on and unfortunately Lucas knew every line and part. It was a sad fact that his younger brother loved to torment him about. Lucas would usually just tell him to go cry about the Notebook again and the younger Scott remained silent. Even though both brothers knew the only reason Nathan cried, let alone let his wife play the movie, was because he was high on drugs following a dental procedure. Regardless, Lucas made fun of Nathan as often he could about it.
When the end came where Jack dies, Kate cried all over again. The tears wouldn't stop rolling down her cheeks until the credits appeared. The two sat silently as Celine Dion belted her song that made Kate even more emotional. When the movie ended, Lucas took the remote and turned off the television.
"I can't imagine losing you, Lucas." She whisper pathetically as coughed again and she blew her nose.
Lucas wanted to laugh. He found it hilarious that it took a sappy movie and when she was sick for his wife to realize how much she loved him. She also sounded so pathetic with all the sound effects of her chest infection. But he knew he could not let the laugh become audible or the woman would be succumb to more tears. His wife didn't PMS like most women did, but man when she got sick, watch out.
When he did not saying anything, only rubbed her arms she continued "This movie gets me emotional every single time. I think just the thought of losing someone you love would just be so devastating and hard. I can't nor want to imagine it."
Lucas let her rant out her emotions. Something he had to perfect since marrying this human. Early on in their marriage, she would rant and he would try to fix it. The attempt only made her frustration grow more intense. She did not want him to fix it, but to just listen carefully and lovingly.
As Kate began to cry in his arms, Lucas kissed her heated forehead gently. Touch a great way of making her calm down and feel loved. Even though she was a basket case and plethora of germs, she needed to be held tightly.
"Can we paint these walls blue?" Kate randomly questioned.
The question threw Lucas entirely. He had just listened to her sob about a completely out of the question scenario, one of them losing each other, and now she was resorting to the colors on the walls. The grey color would only suit her for a little while, he knew that when they moved into his childhood home. The question came out of no where, but he did not want to raise any more emotion so he obliged.
So now eight years later, the color stuck as well as the memory. Things he never thought were going to happen after the night did happen. He did lose the sweet love of his life and still could not imagine how he could do it day after day. Ava Joy gave him much needed strength for the battle but it still feel like running up a mountain blindfolded most days.
Lucas lied in the bed staring at the wall in front of him. His eyes especially locked on a certain part of the wall. Kate made a collage of frames at the center part of their wedding pictures. In the two opposite corners of the collage were pictures of them separate. Lucas sat in a chair backwards with his suit, that Kate loved, facing the camera with no expression. The other picture had the beautiful angel stretching her arms out over her head with her back to the camera. The front of her stood in front of a large window with long flowing blinds. Her hair was not done yet. A look Lucas loved and desired. They specifically took the picture for him. The long dark hair stretched down the middle of her back completely pin straight. Whenever she let her hair go natural and free flowing it took everything in Lucas not to have another heart attack. The other pictures on the opposite corners were the bridal party doing silly things as well as the couple. The two pictures laying on other sides of the middle one were of special family members. The one to the left was of married couple with Nathan and Haley. The one to the right was of the married couple with Patrick and Nicholas. And of course there was the middle one. The others one were small 4x6 frames but the middle one was a large 12x18. It held a picture of Lucas and Kate kissing each other with the sun bleeding through. The picture always had the ability to take his breath completely away because he remember 'posing' for that picture. He remembered full well the passion they exchanged, how sweet she smelled, and how absolutely breathtaking she looked.
How he missed her even though the accident was six long years ago. Somedays it felt like another century ago and then other days it felt like just yesterday everything was taken from him. He was so thankful for his sweet Ava Joy that kept him going and gave him a purpose to wake every morning and get out of bed. The battle was still tough. There were days more often than not he had to convince himself to keep going forward.
Lucas stared at the pictures, especially the one in the middle kept making him look back at it. He found his bottom lip trembling as the urge to cry burned deep in his being. As he actually almost let the tears come the door knocked. Lucas furrowed his forehead and carefully got out of the bed. His first step was on his bad leg. He winced and sucked in a deep breath. He hobbled to the door and pulled it open.
Peyton had her back to the door. Hearing the door open, she spun around and looked at him. For the brief moment their eyes met, Lucas could feel his heart skip a beat. Those deep olive green eyes pierced through his soul. He forgot what it was like to enjoy the look of a woman. Even though dozens of women walked into the café weekly, he never paid any attention. He forgot it all. How he loved the curves, the eyes, the wonders make up could do…what was he doing? Betraying his wife?
"Hi," he stuttered out.
"Hey, Haley told me you were over here alone and could probably use the company." Peyton spoke, holding a grocery bag, trying not to notice how her high school sweetheart was checking her out. "I ran into her and asked how you were doing, she told me to swing by." She explained quickly.
Lucas scoffed a short humorless laugh. "Probably her way of making sure I am alright."
"Somethings never change." Peyton offered.
Lucas nodded. He invited her inside. Peyton watched him cautiously use his leg. She wanted to ask him what had happened, but she knew he needed to warm up before dishing any information. She had an idea of how to do that, but wanted to wait a bit.
The home they were in was infact his childhood home, but very different from last time Peyton saw it. The colors of the walls were different and there were various updates. When the two entered the kitchen she noticed the biggest change of all. The once outdated kitchen was redone with wood floors and steel appliances. The once mustard colored walls were a light blue with dark wooded cabinets.
"Wow. This place has sure changed since the last time I was in here." Peyton spoke into the start of awkward silence.
"Yeah." Lucas agreed thinking of all the changes Kate wanted to bring and he had no desire to update since her death.
With no knowledge of how to follow up with that comment, both stood absolutely silent. They both had things running through their mind of what to say, but with two looming huge things in their head they couldn't choose what to bring up.
Peyton thought of a safe question, "Where's Ava Joy?"
Breaking his intense focus, Lucas answered "At Nathan and Haley's. They insisted I needed some time to breathe and relax."
Peyton thought of the other night. It was pretty scary seeing this rock of a man fall. She knew nothing of what had happened and almost based on everyone's reactions, no one knew it was coming either. She kind of got the sense they all knew about some of the story, but hardly much.
Peyton wanted to break down the walls and defenses Lucas was notorious for building. She could tell when the blue eyed blonde was shutting the world to not only protect everyone but himself. She could just ask what was happening but knew she would get a defensive nothing that did imply something. His eyes would have a hint of green when he was upset about something. It was like blue and green collided looking like a huge storm looming inside his soul.
Is it bad that she wanted him to open up so she could pour out some her own long time hurting secrets?
Peyton instead of demanding an answer continued as normal. The two were now seated in the living room quietly sipping the wine Lucas brought out. He sat in his big chair, Kate got for his 21st birthday, and Peyton sat on the sofa across from it. Every glance Lucas found himself taking a double take. Kate always sat on that side of the couch when they would have their night in dates. He imagined her and found his heart swelling with sweet memories.
But he shook his head each time and tried to ease the ever present awkwardness. There was an underlying tension and or awkwardness. He tried to think of the things to say but his keep drinking in the sight of not just any woman, but Peyton Sawyer.
"So, I know I keep asking this, but I just have to know." Lucas finally was able to say to distract himself from looking at her legs. When Peyton looked up from her glass and unto him, his heart skipped yet another beat as those green eyes pierced through his soul. "What are you doing back?"
Avoiding the question quickly, Peyton answered "Nope, not yet. I want to play a game first."
Lucas noted the avoidance and though curiosity intrigued him, he was far more interested in her game idea. As he wondered, she bent over and reached inside of the grocery bag. She pulled out a tall bottle of tequila and placed it on the coffee table in front of her. She then reached inside the bag and cursed.
"I forgot a deck of cards, do you have some we can use?"
Lucas furrowed his brow at first, but when Peyton made a pleading face he got up and looked for the deck. Every step seemed to get heavy and he used a stronger limp. His leg was quickly scaling in terms of pain level. He saw the bottle she brought out and though he was not advised to drink and be on his medicine, he didn't mind if he didn't feel it. Or the other things that tortured his soul.
After receiving the cards, Peyton took them out of the package and shuffled them. She explained the game she learned from a couple of co workers back in California. The premises was simple. Each person took turns grabbing a card. The moment they grabbed a red odd number, the victim would drink a shot and then have to reveal a secret. Firs the secrets could be basic, but as the game went on the more deeper the players would get. As the person becomes more intoxicated the secrets poured out. It was dumb game, Peyton knew, but she really had no idea how to make Lucas talk or for her to share her secret.
Surprisingly, Lucas agreed to the idea. She was honestly surprised how easy it was for him to say yes. She filled the little shot glasses. She offered him to pick first.
From then on the game got interesting. Being Lucas was a man, he was able to do the shots without getting drunk. Peyton on the other hand was completely different.
When she drew a red 3, Peyton took guzzled down the shot and upon putting down, said "I quit my job at the record company. I couldn't take the hours."
Lucas found that interesting. She loved those crazy hours when he last spoke to her, years ago. He looked as if she was going to say anything, but she just motioned to the deck. He drew a red 9. He did the same and admitted, "I haven't done any writing in over six years. I probably won't ever publish again."
Peyton felt sad for the comment. It wasn't just that he was giving a lifelong dream up, but that there was an element of heart ache to his tone. She wanted to pry more, but knew soon enough she could know there would be openness. Sure, they had to drink the liquid courage first.
They continued to play the game and soon Peyton was pretty buzzed. Lucas thought about confessing his secret on his next turn. He liked that he could tell someone who was intoxicated but wouldn't remember what he said. A few rounds of no one picking up any odds went by and either confessed anything.
Just when the game appeared to be boring, Peyton picked up a red 7. She swallowed the drink in one gulp, slammed it down with force which caused Lucas to jump, and stared at him with her movements kind of sluggish.
"You want to know why I came back to Tree Hill, North Carolina?" she asked him with her words slightly slurring. Lucas nodded. "Besides to get the good looking Lucas Scott to fall for me again, I did something so terrible and I need to fix it."
Lucas for a moment felt flattered, but it was quickly shoved aside when the curiosity howled with demanding interest. "What did you do?"
"Like I said, six years ago, I came back to get you to love me, but I found out you were married. I got as drunk as I could and took off driving on the back streets of the nearby city."
Suddenly this game was too close to Lucas's heart. Though a little buzzed, he put his walls up and tried to end the game. But Peyton persisted,
"I dropped the bottle I was drinking on the floor. I bent over to pick it up. I slammed into another car at full speed."
"No. I can't play this game anymore." The blonde sobered up.
"No, listen. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get caught with an open tequila in my car. I turned around and sped way away from there."