Disclaimer: First Chapter
Story Start!

"Man, Naruto sure is late... usually he is either out on a quest already, or he is sitting here and eating something."

That sucked for the Interspecies Reviewers, since when Crim and Naruto didn't join them for their reviews, they sold way less copies of it. Those two were major money makers since female simps would usually buy those reviews as well. There were a LOT of succubi who would buy something with Naruto's review on it in order to get some masturbation material out of it.

Stunk didn't like waiting.

Meidri walked by.

"I need a refill." Zel stated as he held his mug up.

"Hu-huh... oh, yeah... oh... woah." Meidri stopped when she looked towards the stairs, and she noticed that Naruto was dressed nice as he walked down. There were collective gasps from female patrons who were used to Naruto dressing in his usual loose orange jacket and grey sweatpants.

Naruto was popular, but he dressed in a way that helped to make him look less appealing. He didn't show off his body with the way he was dressed, and the way he never brushed or combed his hair. As Naruto walked down the steps, he was wearing a nice black suit, and he was in the process of running a comb through his spiky hair, getting some of the uneven spots out and overall making his hair seem even shinier than normal.

"Nice man, you going on a date or something?" Stunk raised a hand and acted normal.

What did he, a straight dude, care if Naruto looked better than usual?

"Naruto, on a date? Dude is one of us bros, we don't get dates, we visit brothels." Zel disagreed with the idea that one of them could easily get a date. He looked at Naruto for a moment, before he pointed a finger at him. "Anyway, when you get into a relationship, you can't visit brothels anymore. We make good money doing that and selling the reviews, I don't see a dude like Naruto missing out on that." Zel stated.

Meidri sighed in relief when he heard that argument.

'Right... Most girls would ignore how great he would be as husband material, in favor of remembering he visits brothels on the regular.' Meidri didn't know why she was so worried. The only competition that she had was the owner Ivy, and plant species in general thanks to their natural disposition towards people connected to nature.

Did Meidri love Naruto? No.

At the same time, she felt a physical attraction to her, and he was a good, hard working man that she could easily see starting a family with. He was great husband material, and while she didn't love him romantically, you didn't always have to fall in love with people before dating them. Dating was for the very purpose of seeing if you were compatible with somebody or not.

"Naruto, you clean up nice, and here I thought that you were going to do this dressed like usual. Come on then, lets go, by parents are waiting for me to introduce you to them." Piltia stood up from where she was sitting. Since it was an Inn/Pub, most people didn't notice her just sitting there waiting for Naruto to come out of his room.

There were dropped jaws when Naruto rubbed the back of his head, and they noticed that Piltia wasn't wearing her usual clothes, but was wearing a nice cream colored short dress instead. Jaws dropped further when sudden realizations started to happen.

Ivy dropped a plate in shock.

"Heh... well, lets go meet your parents... I don't think I've ever seen your apartment." Naruto stated to her as she grabbed him by the arm and started to lead him out of the pub. Piltia looked towards the succubus table when they sent her jealous stares.

"I can't believe the halfling bagged the sex machine before us."

Piltia just smirked.

'This isn't even real, but seeing these other girls so jealous feels super nice.' Piltia was a sadist at heart would could swing both ways. She was more than willing to fuck guys and girls, or chicks with dicks, or beastmen... honestly, the only people she wasn't a fan of fucking were those she physically could not fuck. Basically, those with penises bigger than what Naruto had, since he was the absolute limit on what she could take without a problem.

It was a little humiliating for her to be forced to say no to a customer because they had a dick that was too big for her. It made her feel like she was a fairy, when she was a halfling.

Naruto and Piltia left the pub.

...

"Lucky bastard, but poor bastard." Kanchal passed by Naruto on his way to enter the pub. "Also, poor us... so guys, lets take a quest today. I'm a little low on review money." Kanchal stated as he looked towards Stunk and Zel.

They stood up.

"Yeah, lets go get an easy one."

By the time Zel, Kanchal, and Stunk left the pub, Crim started his shift and floated around the pub. Crim was approached by Meidri, since business was slow, and he greeted her with a smile on his face.

"Morning Crim... did you know that Naruto and Piltia are dating?" Meidri asked with a raised eyebrow.

If ANYONE were to know what was going on with Naruto, it would be Crim who often visited Naruto's room to talk with him. According to Crim, Naruto's chakra felt divine in nature, and thus it was comforting for Crim to be around Naruto. It helped that they had complimenting personalities

"Eh? Oh... guess he didn't explain it to you." Crim stated with a growing smile.

Silly Naruto, forgetting to tell his friends.

People started listening in on what Crim was saying.

"Piltia's parents are expecting her to introduce them to her boyfriend, so she is paying Naruto to pretend to be her boyfriend using his addiction against him. Since he trusts and values her, he was happy to help. He asked me for my opinion on clothes, since he wanted to look good for the date." Crim had that feminine touch to what looked good after all. He had been more than happy to help Naruto.

"His... oh... she's buying him ramen." Meidri sighed in relief.

"Well, not exactly... she's combining sex and ramen together. If it was just ramen or sex, Naruto might say no. I have to say, she really knows his weaknesses well. I'm glad that other girls don't know that about him... I'm really glad that they don't know he's homesick and wants to spend an afternoon in the forest drinking." Crim accidentally let that slip to the entire bar.

Girls of the forest started to make eye contact.

The fairies interested in Naruto started to play a game with each other to decide which of them would be allowed to go after Naruto. The succubi were already making plans, while Ivy looked towards Crim with a smile slowly growing on her face.

That was good information.

-With Naruto and Piltia-

'Her parents... wow...' Naruto thought, since her parents looked the same age as Piltia. She was a carbon copy of them as well. They all had light blue hair and purple eyes, with short eyebrows. Piltia inherited her ahoge from her father, who was dressed in normal halfling clothing, while her mother was dressed in a similar style dress to Piltia.

"So, you're Naruto Uzumaki... the guy that the Demon King is after." Piltia's Father stated as he crossed his arms and looked up at Naruto. "I approve, you look like you're built sturdy. You're human, but you're big and strong... for my sadistic daughter, you would need to be built tough." Piltia's Father laughed as he pat Naruto on the stomach.

The highest point he could easily reach.

"... Give me my wallet back." Naruto stated as he extended his hand towards Piltia's Mother with a deadpan expression. She had snuck behind him and had taken his wallet from his back pocket. Though she was just looking at the toad wallet and taking a glance at what was inside of it.

"MOM! DAD!"

"Ah, you noticed that... good, you have very astute senses. It wouldn't do for a Halfling's boyfriend to not be able to protect himself from thieves. You picked a good man honey, have you two done it yet?" Piltia's Mother asked.

Naruto did not imagine that this was how things were going.

"Of course we have, we met each other with him being a customer! You know what I do for a living... sorry Naruto, they can be super embarassing." Piltia apologized to Naruto.

Naruto had kind of zoned out.

"Right, you're a Succu-girl. So Naruto, you must be pretty comfortable with your size and stamina if you're okay with your girlfriend working as a prostitute." Piltia's Father stated with a look at Naruto for his reaction. Naruto snapped out of his zoned out state, before he sat down on the couch.

Everyone started to sit down and relax.

"I'm a succu-girl Dad, prostitute sounds like I'm one of those street whores." Piltia complained.

"I mean, I'm an Interspecies Reviewer, so I work by having sex with girls pretty regularly. I guess I can't be mad at Piltia for taking customers, anyway, even though she takes other customers, I don't really notice a difference or anything. She takes good care of herself, and she always smells good." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. He glanced over at Piltia, and the girl came into the room with a tray of tea cups.

"Coffee anyone?"

Coffee, not tea.

"So, how do you like your coffee Naruto... I drink mine straight black... oh who am I kidding, I bet Piltia already made your coffee just how you like it. She is her mother's child after all." Piltia's Father droned on, but he raised a good point. Piltia froze for a moment, trying to think of an answer for that point.

Shit, Naruto hated bitter flavors, and she didn't put any sugar in the coffee. She was surprised when Naruto just took a cup and drank it normally.

"So, you're very confident with your size... us halflings have issues. Halfling men tend to be very small, even when compared to the average elf... I guess a human wouldn't need to worry about getting jealous-"

"It sucks, so many good Halfling girls are dating humans now! As good as we are with our hands, you humans are making our daughters get used to human dick! Not to mention how big-" Piltia hit her father over the head softly when he started to get into a tirade over his complaints. "... sorry... the last few generations of halflings have been getting looser and looser with their morals and their vaginas... I hear young men complaining about it all the time." Piltia's Father calmed down.

Naruto didn't know how to respond to that.

"Dad, I will have you know that I do regular excersize that keeps me tight. Anyway, Naruto is my limit on what I can take, so I doubt he cares about comparing himself to a halfling. Lets have some fun, and play some games to relax." Piltia offered as she gestured to the boardgame shelf. She even had cards.

They started gambling near instantly.

Halflings liked sneaky stuff, and they were very good at cheating.

-3 Hours Later-

"Piltia... your boyfriend... I approve of him." Piltia's Mother was crying at how good of a man her daughter had found. She had been stripped butt naked as she put her panties on the table, and her husband was naked as well.

Naruto didn't lose.

They gambled all the money that they had on them, and they lost every single round of gambling. No matter the odds, no matter how much they cheated, nothing they did allowed them to beat Naruto even a single time. Piltia herself was naked, but she was far more comfortable naked than her parents were. At the same time, she was looking at Naruto in a new light with a blush across her cheeks.

She didn't know THIS about Naruto.

'Holy crap... he's a real man... how is he doing this?' Piltia had to know how Naruto was cheating. She couldn't see his hands doing anything strange at all.

"This is a real man right here, if even a halfling can't beat him at gambling... well-"

"Actually, it's kind of stupid. I've never lost at anything that requires luck... one time when I was a kid, I picked up a coin off the ground and won a lottery with it. Whenever luck or betting is involved, I have had a 100% success rate." Naruto stated as he pushed everyone's money back to them. He didn't want their money, and he looked away as everyone started to get dressed.

Piltia's eyes sparkled a little.

'Holy crap, he isn't lying. I just wanted to ask him to pretend to be my boyfriend so my parents would leave me alone... I didn't know he was such great husband material though. Not to mention, he's okay with my job, and he is great at sex, AND a good guy.' Piltia was now actually giving Naruto some serious considerations.

Originally, she just wanted a Friends with Benefits situation with him for days she didn't want to go to work, but still wanted to get laid. Now she was thinking that maybe she should make a legit effort to try and make her boyfriend lie become the truth.

"... Piltia... do not let this man escape."

"As your mother, I would be disappointed if you allowed this hunk of man-meat to leave you."

Piltia sent her parents a sly thumbs up.

'I feel like this entire afternoon has just been them judging me... but I guess it doesn't matter. At the end of this, I'm going to get to eat ramen and screw Piltia.' Naruto didn't really care for the way he was being talked about, it made him uncomfortable, but he would put up with it if it meant that he would get Ramen Sex.

-The Next Day-

Piltia, Halfling: 9
Naruto is a 1:1,000,000 man you don't let escape. I'm not a size queen, but he's big, and he has stamina. Actually, he has too much stamina and can leave you sore for days. Still, sex with Naruto means you can quit whatever gym you go to. He's friendly, and he is a gambling pro. He is a halfling's dream man. Take away the soreness, and he would be a 10 for sure. He needs to learn to control himself more.

Piltia's Mother: 10
This is what I'm looking for in a son-in-law. Good looking, big and sturdy, and his hands are rough from years of hard work. He's blessed with the luck of the goddess, and he is so secure in himself he doesn't care that Piltia is a Succu-girl.

Piltia's Father: 10
If I were single and gay, I would go for this guy myself. I'm married and straight though, so I can just say I'll be very happy the day that this man asks for my permission to marry my daughter. Not that he would need it, this man is strong, but still kind and humble. He is the guy that any father would want their daughter to date.

"What... the... fuck... we can't let Naruto see this, right?" Meidri asked as she whispered to Crim and Ivy.

They nodded their heads.

A Reviewer got Reviewed.

"What does he have that we don't?" Stunk asked as he looked at the review with a raised eyebrow. "Actually... being a boyfriend sounds boring." Stunk stated with a grin. He would rather just keep visiting brothels anyway.

Zel nodded.

Kanchal seemed nervous.

'... This is not good... now every halfling girl in the city is going to try and steal him. Well, at least more of his reviews will sell a bunch.' Kanchal stopped being nervous and thought about how he could use this to make more money.

Naruto.

A halfling's dream boyfriend.

Chapter End!
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