SM owns Twilight.
(CozItRunsInMyBlood /Rose B. Mashal) own the plot.
(BandMum) is the wonderful beta.
Chapter 1
Every night I lie still in my bed, begging for a dreamless sleep. During the day, it was a challenge to function without difficulties. You'd think I'd go to sleep the second my head hit the pillow, but that was never how it went, not even close. I would've found it humorous, if everything didn't piss me off.
Yesterday, I yawned shamelessly until my boss glared at me to stop. It wasn't like I did it on purpose; it was out of my control. I hadn't slept well the night before, or the night before, or even the night before that. My sleep had been restless for many nights, more than I cared to count.
The thought of sleeping on my own in my sorry excuse of a studio apartment terrified me. As badly as I needed rest, I was afraid to close my eyes. Closing my eyes meant that I might fall asleep, and falling asleep only meant the welcoming of the nightmares.
Waking up didn't help; my nightmares continued, even with my eyes wide open and my mind fully alert. But those were the kind of nightmares that I could bear.
The night was cold, and my bed felt damp. My heater was broken so I had to work with what I had, bundled in heavy clothes and my winter coat, buried beneath my thin covers.
When the sun rose, I tiredly got out of bed, sleep having abandoned me long ago. Once my feet touched the floor, I felt dizzy and nauseated. Every bone in my body ached, and my head was already pounding. When I swallowed, it felt like sandpaper attacking the inside of my throat.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I felt angry. I knew I was getting sick. I couldn't afford to be sick, not now, not later, not anytime soon.
Out of habit, I got in the shower, then remembered I didn't have any hot water. For the millionth time, I tried to take that much needed morning bath with freezing cold water. Gritting my teeth, I washed my lady bits, feet, and arms, then I hurried out of the shower, shivering and shaking violently. I dressed as quickly as possible, put my coat back on, and left the lousy place I called mine.
When the cold wind hit my face, I could have sworn that outside was warmer than my bed. I've lost count of the times I've wished the useless sun in Forks would shine brighter, but it seems like an impossible dream in this shithole.
The sun barely ever visited Forks.
Still, I'd take the cold, the dark, the pain any day, anytime, over the warmth and comfort of my mother's house back in Arizona.
My gloves had more holes than Swiss cheese, but they were all I had, and by this point, I didn't care about my appearance. I just needed to make it to the mall so I could feel warm again.
If there was anything I was grateful for, it was the fact that the shop where I worked was only three blocks away. True, I almost froze to death most days on my way to and from my crappy apartment – but at least I didn't have to pay for gas or a ride there.
It was almost 8:00 AM when I made it to work. I walked past the closed stores, only a few of them getting ready to start their business day. I said 'Hello' here and there, then settled for mere smiles and nods when even that small word hurt my throat.
As I passed the bakery, my stomach grumbled when the smell of freshly baked banana bread hit my nose. It had been more than two days since I had eaten, and I wondered how long I would be able to stand the hunger alongside everything else.
I never really liked banana bread, but I was close to the point of eating dirt. Sadly, not even dirt was easy to get; there was only snow everywhere I looked.
My hands shivered, making it difficult for me to hold the keys, and it took me a few tries to unlock the door to the cosmetics store where I worked.
Since it was an hour before opening time, I locked the door again once I stepped inside. I knew exactly where the things I needed were and could almost get them all blindly. The guilt I felt the first few times I did this eased as the days passed. The only thing I felt now was the hope that my boss, Mrs. Coper, would never find out about my thieving.
In the tiny bathroom at the back of the store, I used the free samples I took to take better care of myself. I washed my hair with some shower gel, knowing it would make my hair drier than a desert, but it was all I could steal today. I had to be careful not to get caught.
When I finished with my hair, I put the toothpaste on my pointer-finger and spread it all over my teeth. I didn't have a toothbrush nor the money to buy one, so my finger would do.
When I was done, I could say that I looked decent. My hair was styled into a loose braid – the only hairdo I could manage with my semi-wet hair – and my uniform of a black blouse and skirt looked clean enough to pass Mrs. Coper's appraisal. It was all I needed.
By 9:00 AM, the doors to the store were wide open, and I waited in the middle of it for possible clients. My hands were behind my back as I stood as straight as a soldier, a small smile plastered on my face.
My throat was killing me, and the pain in my bones was becoming unbearable as the time passed. But what I hated most was the throbbing headache that made everything around me foggy and unclear.
When Mrs. Coper appeared, holding a cup of coffee, it took all of my might not to throw myself at her, snatch the cup from her hand, then drink it all in one gulp.
My thoughts still revolved around my boss' coffee when I heard her screaming my name. I didn't know why she sounded so concerned, almost frightened, but I couldn't see her. My vision was blurry, and wouldn't clear no matter how much I squeezed my eyes tight shut and re-opened them.
"Bella? Bella?" That was a voice I didn't recognize, a man's voice. A stranger. I found it difficult to focus with all the pounding in my head. My eyes found only darkness whether closed or open.
"Can you hear me, Bella?" the man asked, and I couldn't understand why he kept repeating my name when I obviously had responded to him more than once.
Or had I? I couldn't be so sure, and I didn't understand what was happening.
"Oh, God! Oh, God! What's wrong with her?" Mrs. Coper asked, but I couldn't figure out who she was talking about.
"How long has she been unconscious?" the man asked.
"I don't know! Five minutes? Poor Bella! She's such a hard worker." Mrs. Coper's voice was worried.
Unconscious? Me? What the hell?
"Bella? Can you hear me?" the stranger repeated.
"Maybe we should call an ambulance," another unknown voice suggested, and I found myself struggling with all of my might to open my eyes. I fought harder to open my mouth and tell them that I was awake.
"N-no …" I whispered, my throat hoarse and my head throbbing. "No ambulance."
"Oh, Bella! Thank God!" Mrs. Coper exclaimed. "You scared us!"
Somebody helped me sit up on the floor, and I tried to take in my surroundings. Now I understood what Mrs. Coper meant by 'us'; the store was full of people, curious about the silly sales girl who passed out while at work.
I was positive that nobody was 'scared' as Mrs. Coper put it, not even Mrs. Coper herself. She just liked to exaggerate things.
"I'm sorry." My voice was still low. I felt so tired.
"Don't be", said the man who had called my name. I blinked a few times to get a clearer look at him, and although my vision was still clouded, I could tell that he was handsome.
Blonde hair, blue eyes and broad shoulders. He looked freshly shaved and neat, not even one hair out of place. I guessed he was no more than thirty-five.
I attempted to smile, but as tired as I was, it probably looked like a grimace.
"Has that happened to you before?" the handsome man asked.
"No." I lied, shaking my head slightly. The small movement made my head pound even harder. From the corner of my eye, I could see Mrs. Coper as she told the gathered passersby to get on their way.
"Okay, then. Do you feel like you can get up?" I didn't answer him, simply braced myself on my hands and stood. I felt dizzy all over the second I did, and almost lost my balance.
Luckily, the man caught me before I fell back to the floor. His grip was firm, but not painful. Still, I couldn't stand his touch, and I had to take a half step back.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Have you eaten anything today?"
I frowned and my scalp tensed as the throbbing intensified. I appreciated the concern he seemed to have, but I didn't like the attention. I hated attention. Attention meant trouble.
"I need to get back to work," I told him, looking down.
"Listen, Bella… may I call you Bella?" I nodded, guessing that Mrs. Coper told him my name. "My name is Carlisle Cullen. I'm a neurologist, and I wish to help."
I paused for a moment, finding it odd that someone would offer to help without wanting something in exchange. The least of it would be money, and I had none of that.
"I feel fine," I lied.
"You don't look fine, to be honest. As a doctor, it's my obligation to tell you that you should get a checkup. From what I can tell, you seem to have general weakness, and you might be anemic."
He was probably right, but I didn't care. "I will. Thank you." I offered him a small smile.
Dr. Cullen looked at me for a moment too long, and it made me uncomfortable. It seemed like he knew I was lying. I decided to excuse myself and get back to work, not that there were any customers in the store as it was always slow this time of day, but I needed to end that conversation.
Before I could say anything, the doctor reached inside his jacket, taking out a pen and pad of paper. He started writing something as he spoke. "This is some medication you can get over the counter. It will help until you book an appointment with your doctor." He offered me the paper.
To be honest, I was speechless. I didn't remember the last time someone was nice to me. I knew I couldn't buy the prescription, but I took it from him anyway.
"Thank you. I really appreciate this." My smile was true this time, especially since he seemed to be a genuinely nice person.
"You're most welcome. I hope you feel better soon," he said before he left the store. I had a strong feeling it wouldn't be the last time we'd meet.
But I could be wrong.
A soft smile remained on my lips for a while. It had been so long since I felt like I mattered. Not that I was important to anyone, but I felt like a human being, one who had rights and feelings.
But not long after, I mentally slapped myself for forgetting how unworthy I was, just because a stranger was kind to me. I was so stupid.
The smart thing was to hope, wish, and pray that whatever weakness and dizziness I felt would go away without killing me. Because there was no way I would willingly go to a hospital.
I was exhausted, but I sucked it up and finished my shift. Then I headed back to the shithole and the insanely uncomfortable thing that passed for a bed. Just like every other night, as darkness consumed the city of Forks, I once again waited for sleep with trepidation.
When I'm going to start getting used to it? I wondered, when I'm going to accept the fear and stop fighting? and the answer was clear in my thoughts: When the sun goes down, there is no escape from my nightmares,.
~WtSGD~
Author note:
Thank you so much, guys! I did NOT expect this amazing welcoming.
Over 200 follows and the story is not even posted yet? I CAN'T!
It feels so, SO, good to write FF again. I regret not writing anything for the past two years. It hurts! :(
Let's change that now! I'll be posting weekly!
A question: What do you think has happened to Bella? Who are the people she escaped from?
The correct answer will get an early update, and a mention on the next chapter. Yay!
Leave your answer in a review and/ or on my Facebook group: (CozItRunsInMyBlood)
Until we meet next Saturday…
Love and kisses.
Cozy.