"Good morning, Sirius, how are you today? It seems like it's been ages since we talked, you've been talking to Miriam for the last few weeks."

"Morning Healer Jones, I'm feeling OK today, but a bit tired. I woke up a lot in the night. Some nights are better than others, last night wasn't the best."

"I'm sorry to hear that, do you remember what you were dreaming of?"

"As usual, I was back in Azkaban, it's always the same dreams. Being back in Azkaban, being reconvicted. They're the ones that still wake me up. They're the ones where I just have to walk around the house and convince myself of where I am and the fact that I'm awake."

"Do you still wake Remus?"

"Sometimes he hears me, hearing of a bat, well, wolf, that man. Occasionally I deliberately make noise enough to wake him. I think he knows I'm doing it, but he doesn't mind. Well, he says he doesn't, but I didn't wake him for a week after the last full moon."

"Yes, Miriam said you two had an issue. I know you've told her about it, but would you mind telling me?"

"No, I don't mind," said Sirius. He then recounted everything about Albus leaving the Wolfsbane, Mooney finding out who had made it, the numerous arguments and finally Sirius swapping the vials and the next morning.

"What happened after he'd left?" asked Jones. "Did you regret swapping the potions?"

"Yes and no," replied Sirius. "It's like this. I know, from being Mooney's friend for so long, that the transformation was painful, physically and mentally. There's a reason the shack is nicknamed the Shrieking Shack. Mooney is strong, physically and mentally, for him to go through that every month, I don't know how he did it without going completely nuts. But the Wolfsbane helped. It took away a few of the physical symptoms of the change, but not enough for it to not be a painful process, just not debilitatingly agonising. I still watched him go through that in upper school and before Azkaban. Apart from maybe the last six months when I thought him the spy," added Sirius. He was silent for a while, thinking. The Healer just waited.

"And, I knew," continued Sirius, "That while Snape is a total bastard about most things, the quality of his potions would be excellent. And Albus had called it a peace offering. Snape and I sort of sorted our differences out. We'll never get on, mind you, but I do know his work is good, but Remus, I understand why he hates him. What Snape did, so very Snape, deserves the crap kicking out of him, except that'd be too forgiving. But his potion, I wanted Mooney to take it anyway, because it'd be effective."

"But if Remus took the potion their relationship would be altered, wouldn't it?" said Jones, "If it's as good as you say, then Remus might find hating him harder, and he wanted to hate him."

"Yup. But I've watched him change every month for years. It hurt me and James to see it, I know how much pain he was in, I just hoped that Snape's potion improved it a bit, I wasn't expecting more. I hoped that perhaps Remus would just have thought this vial must have randomly been made by a good potioneer, or that Remus was less tired, or less susceptible to the pain. I didn't realise it was that much better. I didn't want Remus to know what I'd done."

"Why not?"

"Because of the dynamic you just mentioned. Mooney is entitled to that hate. It's his. It's personal."

"So you regretted getting caught, not doing the crime so to speak?"

Sirius nodded.

"What did you do when he left the house?"

"Oh, I went into full on panic mode. I didn't know where he'd gone. I thought, hoped, he was just off out to Hogsmeade to calm down, I prayed he hadn't just left me, I was terrified of that. I paced up and down. I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything, I was just so powerless and scared. I thought I'd lost my friend again, but this time it was forever, I'd done the one thing that I knew hurt him the most. I know he doesn't have control over his change, I know that any small control about it is precious to him. I paced up and down for Merlin knows how long, panicking."

"He came back?"

"I don't know how long it'd been. I heard the door. Remus came into the living room. I can't describe it. There was a wave of utter relief, followed by one of total and complete terror when I thought he was just back to collect his things. Both those thoughts happened at the same time. I dropped to my knees in a crying mess and begged him not to leave."

"What did he do?"

"I was terrified that he'd leave. I was this close," Sirius held up two fingers about half an inch apart, "To grabbing onto the hem of his robes and just clinging on. I couldn't lose him! We'd only just got each other back, and I'd made a mess of it already. I think he saw how much of a mess I was in. If we were younger, I am pretty sure he'd have flattened me. He said my name repeatedly, then he just bodily picked me up off the floor. He hugged me."

"Did you apologise?"

"I didn't know how. I was and am immensely sorry that I'd messed with his routine, but I'm not sorry he had a better transformation. I asked him why he came back. He said he hadn't any intention of leaving, that wasn't why he'd left."

"Oh? Why did he leave?"

"He said he went up to the castle, punched Snape in the face and left again. He said it was very satisfying."

Jones had a great deal of trouble keeping a straight face. He hadn't known that detail. He briefly imagined anyone taking a swing at Severus and getting away with it. The idea didn't compute. Perhaps Severus was mellowing as he got older. He really had to arrange a meeting with Severus sometime, now there was an enigma.

"So, how are you and Remus currently?"

"Oh, he gave me a proper dressing down. I think he must have practised on the students last year. I felt so small when he'd finished. He reminded me of everything. His lack of control, his lack of choices about what happens, the reasons we'd turned into animagi in the first place. I was ready to break down again. But after he'd done that, he made scrambled eggs and toast and we ate breakfast. I think we're good."

"Do you know if he's willing to take the potion next month?"

"I don't know, but I really hope so. It really made a difference. That was one of the things that upset him the most, that was part of his lecture before breakfast. The biggest leap in the quality of the potion in the last twenty years to make the biggest difference to his transformation was done by the same person who made a massive negative impact on his life this last year. Mooney keeps up-to-date with Wolfsbane research, so knew about the article Snape had used, but Remus also knows that the creation of something that brilliant was down to Snape."

Healer Jones nodded. He understood. "Do you feel more in control, that your life is stabilising yet?" he asked. "I understand you have nightmares, but when you're awake do you have the same thoughts, or do you feel secure?"

"I feel like I own a house, that my friend is staying, that I've got my own wand back. I didn't think the wand would make that much of a difference, but it really did. I've grown up my entire life in the knowledge that the wand and the wizard are one, and those years without a wand made me feel helpless. I love being near the castle. Hogwarts was a happy place. I like visiting there."

"Why?" asked the Healer. This was what he wanted to get into today. In all the sessions he'd had with Sirius, never once had the man mentioned he had a godson. Oh, he'd talked about the deaths of the Potters, about being in Azkaban instead of being able to support Harry, he'd talked about the loneliness, the lack of friends, the fact that life had moved on. But he'd never once specifically said that Harry Potter was his godson.

"It's just nice to see the place again, I was happy there."

"And what, going forward, do you think can make you happy? Because, as you know, Hogwarts is in your past. What do you want to do going forward?"

"I don't know, I mean, I don't need to know, I could never work again given the size of the Black estate, but I want to be with people. I was lonely. I don't want to be again. I'd like… I don't know."

"Do you want a family?"

"I've got Remus and I want…"

"What?"

"Nothing," replied Sirius shortly.

"You know you can say anything to me, Sirius. I will not, or rather more accurately cannot, reveal anything you say to others, except Miriam because you are also her patient. No-one else."

Sirius was silent.

"Why are you here, Sirius? Why are you really in Hogsmeade?"

"I told you, it's near the school."

"Yes, you said. A different school, a different time, a different age. Why are you really here?"

Healer watched Sirius carefully. Sirius was torn. His trust levels were low to non-existent. Talking about what he did day to day and what he felt about that were easy. This was different. Jones knew the answer. If he hadn't known the answer he'd have waited and asked the question at a later date. He wouldn't have forced the issue. And maybe in three of four months Sirius would have plucked up the courage to mention it. But Jones knew there was a time frame.

Healer Jones was bound by his Healer's Oath. He wouldn't declare someone fit if they were unfit. But sometimes he could nudge things along. It wasn't a good course of action, some things shouldn't be hurried, but sometimes it was expedient. Jones wasn't expecting Sirius to be quite so analytical.

"Why? Why do you think I'm here for any reason other than what I've said? Do you think I'm lying?" he demanded.

"Not at all, Sirius, but I think there's more than one reason you're here. What's the other reason?"

"I don't think I'm comfortable with telling you about it right now," said Sirius.

"Because you don't trust me?"

"Honestly? Yes. I can't take back something I've said to you. I could Obliviate you, I suppose," he said as a joke, which the Healer understood to be a joke, "But I think that negates the purpose of being here."

"Are you aware of the Healer's Oath?" Jones asked.

"Vaguely."

"It binds my magic to that Oath, Sirius. I have taken an oath that if I break in a major way, I will become a squib." Jones reached into his robes to retrieve a small book, hand-sized, tiny font, thinnest paper. "Here, the oath is on page two."

Sirius took the book and read quietly then considered it for a while. "How does the oath know you've done no harm?" he asked. "Surely you must have inadvertently done harm at some point."

"Inadvertently is the key with the harm clause. This oath is taken under the influence of a particular spell. The spell's designer, Mungo himself for all I know, obviously thought about this concept. Harm in our world is relative. There have been many seminars on it, many case studies of people falling foul of the oath. The penalties range from headaches and nausea to squib. I do not know of an instance where anyone has lost their life. Please, talk to Miriam if you like, or go to St. Mungo's and grab any random Healer and ask them. They will tell you the same thing. I cannot breach the confidentiality of this oath."

Sirius contemplated for a while longer.

"I have a godson," he said.

"He's up at the castle, isn't he?" asked Jones.

Sirius nodded.

"Have you been to see him?"

Sirius nodded again.

"And Dumbledore knows your relationship?"

"Yes, he does."

"So what's the problem?" asked Jones, hoping Sirius would answer.

Sirius took a deep breath, looked him right in the eye and said, "My godson is Harry Potter."

Healer Jones waited a few seconds. "I know."

"You fucking know?!" exclaimed Sirius. "What was the point of this, then?" he asked, waving his arms around expansively.

"It is something that you had the right to decide to tell me," Jones replied.

"How do you know about Harry?"

"Without breaching anyone's confidence, there are a lot of things I know about a lot of people from talking to a lot of people. I do a lot of work for Hogwarts. People talk, as you can imagine."

"Fair enough. I want him to be family, Artemis, I kind of need him to be. He's not James, he's not actually very like him, except in looks, but he's someone I've cared about for the last fifteen years. I thought about him in Azkaban. I know he's got a muggle family, I'm sure they're lovely. But they're muggle. I always hoped he'd ended up with a wizarding family, growing up as James and Lily intended."

"I think it's not unreasonable to think that he could one day be family to you. Perhaps in summer you could get to know him, spend some time with him?" suggested Jones.

"I'd love that, and I think he'd like it too. We get on well when I go to see him, and that time he and his friends came to the house."

"Oh yes?"

"They wanted help with Harry's task, and to be honest, the twins wanted some pranking help. It was nice. Do you think it's possible that I'll be allowed to spend time with him? Just him and me? And Remus or whoever's around, I meant, oh, that didn't come out right, I don't mean like kidnap him or anything, I meant like him come to stay? If he wants? I can't imagine you think that highly of an unstable ex-convict spending time with teenagers."

"Family is different, Sirius, and Harry could be a stabilising factor. You can't hurry along your health. But you have a goal that now we both know about. You want to spend some time with Harry in summer. It's an achievable goal."

Sirius looked relieved.

"Now, while we're talking about goals, are you aware that you and Severus Snape share a goal? To keep Harry safe? He's looking out for the boy in the tournament, you know."

"I don't have to like it."

"But you do acknowledge that he's working for Harry's benefit?"

"Reluctantly," said Sirius, loathe to admit it.

"Thank you for acknowledging that, Sirius," said the Healer. "We've had quite a long chat today. I'll see you again the day after tomorrow?"