SM owns Twilight.

(CozItRunsInMyBlood /Rose B. Mashal) owns the plot.

(BandMum) is the wonderful beta.

(hlsmith) is the amazing pre-reader.

Chapter 4

My heart skipped a beat. Although I knew these questions were coming, I still didn't know how to answer them. I didn't want to lie to him, not after he had shown me nothing but kindness since we met. I also couldn't tell him the truth; who knew what he would do with the information.

So, I decided to tell him exactly how I felt. "I don't really… I don't want to talk about that." At least I wasn't lying to him.

Dr. Cullen was quiet for a moment, his eyes studying me, "Okay, I understand that. Will you at least tell me why you don't want to go to a hospital?"

I looked at him with shock, surprised that he noticed that. "Who said I don't want to go to a hospital?"

"I saw how terrified you were at the shop when someone suggested calling an ambulance. Then I heard about the brunette who was found unconscious just a block away from the mall, who was picked up by an ambulance, and escaped from it, despite her injuries. I only had to put two and two together."

I gulped, "I just hate hospitals, that's all."

"Who doesn't hate hospitals?" Dr. Cullen smiled.

"Well, doctors, I guess."

"Oh, trust me, we do." He chuckled, probably just trying to lighten the mood, but I still wondered if I could do just that – if I could trust him.

Not a moment later, I realized how stupid I was to even consider it. I couldn't trust anybody. I never should.

After a few moments of silence, he asked, "Are you hiding from the police?"

I swallowed thickly, hesitant to give him any answer. "Uh, something like that."

He took his sweet time before speaking again, and I wondered if he would call me out right then and there. "What kind of crimes have you committed?" he asked, a serious expression on his face.

"Is it a grave crime to set a car on fire?"

"It depends," he said, and I wondered if he would ask how expensive the car was. But he didn't. "How much of an asshole was the owner of the car?" A hint of smile formed in his eyes.

"The worst kind of asshole," I replied almost instantly.

"Then it's not a grave crime at all, merely a case of arson." He smiled, "I could help you with it, Bella."

Although it was very generous of him, I shook my head in disagreement. "You can't." He didn't get it; it wasn't only about the car I burned. I only set the asshole's car on fire so that when he found me this time – he would kill me.

He was always able to find me, and always punished me harshly for escaping. I thought that it might not be such a bad thing if he killed me this time. At least I would know I'd tried my best to survive.

"I don't think there's anything that I can't do," he said with a raised eyebrow, pride and confidence in his eyes. But he didn't understand that The Asshole wasn't someone who could be played with. "Let me help you."

"I can't be helped, Dr. Cullen." I truly believed that my salvation would come with my coffin, but I didn't tell him that.

He sighed, then got up to check the IV. He stopped it after a minute to remove the tube from the cannula, then closed it up.

"Your last IV will be in twelve hours. I'll see you then." Once Dr. Cullen left, the loneliness returned immediately, almost as if he was never here.

~WtSGD~

After he was gone, my thoughts grew more anxious with every passing minute. I kept thinking that he might call the police on me, or he might search for my background and think he was doing something good by reuniting me with my parents.

I thought I should get up and leave before he came back. I thought I should search for a new place to hide. I thought I should disappear.

But what if I lost the only good thing that had happened to me in years? What if I would be running from my only chance of getting the help I needed to be able to live like a normal human being, and not a street rat?

I couldn't decide.

The night was darker than usual, and the fear inside my heart was a lot bigger than before. Someone had noticed me. That was never a good thing. It always led to trouble. Always.

Like most nights, falling asleep wasn't easy. I wasn't cold, thanks to the heater Dr. Cullen got for me, but I was terrified. I never wanted to close my eyes, never wanted to fall asleep, only to be awakened by nightmares.

I suppose I was actually too tired to stay awake, and eventually sleep won.

"Why you keep escaping from me, Isa? Don't you miss how I keep you warm at night?" I felt his hand touching my wrist, pulling me closer, and I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"No! No! No!"

"Hey, hey! It's me." Dr. Cullen reassured me.

"Let go!" I gasped, yanking my hand away from his. He was holding it exactly the same way as The Asshole was in my nightmare.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said quickly. "I was only trying to connect the IV without disturbing you." He waved the thin tube in his hand to prove it to me.

"Step back, please," I said breathlessly, holding my blanket close to me. I was struggling for air, terrified and feeling nauseous. At the back of my mind, I knew that Dr. Cullen was honest. He wasn't trying to hurt me, or touch me inappropriately; he was just trying to help. But I still couldn't bear the idea of him being so close, especially right after the nightmare.

He took a few steps back. "It's okay. You're safe," he said, but I could only gasp as I tried to steady my breathing. All I could do was hug my blanket like a shield, as if it would protect me.

I was pathetic.

After what felt like ages, I sat up in bed, more aware of my surroundings and with a slightly firmer grip on my feelings. My head bowed down as I spoke. "I'm sorry, sir. I had a bad dream."

"It's fine, Bella. I understand. May I?" He pointed to the cannula.

My response was only a shy nod as I bit down on my lower lip.

He made quick work of the IV, and when he was finished, he sat down on the chair at the end of my bed. "How do you feel today?"

"I'm better. Much better. Thank you," I said, though the words weren't enough to express how grateful I was. But I didn't know what else I could say.

"Good. I got you some food, and a few other things you might need." He gestured to my nightstand. There were restaurant sacks on top, and a couple of larger bags on the floor next to it. I wondered if I was dreaming.

"Dr. Cullen, this is too much."

"It's not, really. You didn't even check the bags, yet." He smiled.

"I'm just… I don't know how am I ever going to repay you," I told him, still not believing that someone could be this kind without wanting something in exchange. It was unreal.

"You don't have to repay me. Just pay it forward when you can."

I chuckled humorlessly. "I don't think I will ever be in a position where I can give things away. I mean, look at me."

"Your gifts don't always have to be material things, Bella. There are things that are priceless and cost you nothing at the same time. Things like giving up your seat on a bus to an elderly person or a pregnant woman, holding the door for someone, paying a compliment. A small smile could brighten someone's day; you never know."

I smiled. His words were wise and very truthful. "You're right. I could do that." Someday…

"Plus, you're still quite young. You'll grow up, get a decent job and have a good life. You only have to make the right decisions," he said, and I would've laughed at him if it weren't so rude. I couldn't see my future. I had no hopes other than to be safe and – well, alive. "I'm saying 'decent job' because – looking at everything – I can't imagine you're getting paid much at your current job."

"I'm not sure I still have a job. I haven't gone in for three days now."

"You didn't call…? You don't have a phone." Dr. Cullen said matter-of-factly. "How many sick days you have?"

"I don't really have a normal contract, sir. I don't actually have a contract at all."

He was silent for a minute. What he said next shocked me. "I expected it was something like that. You're working paperless?" When I nodded, he continued, "But you're an American citizen, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then, why? Do you mind telling me?"

It was my turn to be quiet. I debated telling him, but he had already figured most of it out. I could give him some answers. But only a part of the truth.

"I don't have an ID. I was homeless for so long, and Mrs. Coper offered me the full-time job in exchange for living in this studio. She owns this place. I know she set rules that could cause me problems, like I can't call in sick or I'll be fired, but it was better than nothing. I can't complain."

"That's not reasonable at all, Bella. How much does she pay you?"

"Two hundred bucks, in cash."

"That is not good, at all. Not even close!" For some reason, Dr. Cullen sounded devastated.

"Well, I've only worked there for three months. The first month I was all right with the money she gave me. But last month, I was robbed, and I barely managed with the food I already had. I was supposed to get paid again the first of this month. But… I guess I won't."

"That's not fair. She took advantage of your situation. Two hundred dollars barely covers food expenses for one person."

"I mean, I didn't have to pay for rent, electricity or water…"

"What electricity are you talking about?" He seemed very confused.

"The studio needs a few repairs, but I can't afford it, so …" I shrugged. "I only want to have a roof over my head, Dr. Cullen. Anything is better than nothing."

He shook his head, apparently not liking what he heard. "The government could help you…"

Before he could finish, I interrupted. "I'm certain that I qualify for government assistance on many things, but I don't want to be identified, sir. Never." I started to get anxious again, worried that he might tell someone about me, thinking that it would be a good thing for me, but he would be so wrong. I was terrified.

"Okay. I understand that. Well, at least let me help you? Whatever it is you're running from, I can fight for you. We could work things out together."

I almost laughed; he wasn't aware of how evil the person I escaped from was. He would go above and beyond to hurt someone. He could easily hurt Dr. Cullen and make it look like an accident. He could ruin his life, just like he had ruined mine.

"Why do you want to help me so badly?" I asked. It didn't make a sense to me. Nobody was ever this kind to me. "Is it about your wife again? Would it make you sleep better at night?" I thought that maybe if I started being rude to him, he'd let go and leave me to fight my demons alone.

Dr. Cullen was making me feel as if there was still something good in this life. He was giving me hope. And I hated it. I was hopeless. I was helpless. I was pathetic.

He let out a humorless chuckle, "Trust me, I don't sleep that much, anyway." He paused for a moment. "I've done so many horrible things in my life, Bella. My wife changed me into a completely different person. I promised that I will help huma-… humanity as much as I can. You could say that I'm paying for my sins."

"Paying for your sins?" I smiled sadly. No matter what he had done, it couldn't compare to what The Asshole did to me, and so many other people.

"Yes. Let me save you from this situation, please."

"I can't be saved." I felt the tears burning my eyes, "I lost hope long ago."

A few minutes passed before he spoke again. "I respect your choice. But at least let me treat you. My oath as a doctor requires that I see to your medical needs and treat your illness."

"I feel fine, really."

"You're not, though. I see things you don't. Please, let me take you to the hospital for a checkup and some tests." He paused, then a twinkle appeared in his eyes. "So I can sleep well at night." He smiled, earning one from me in return. His determination to help me was heartwarming.

But he didn't understand…

"I can't go to a hospital."

Dr. Cullen drew in a long breath. "All right. Would you at least let me take a blood sample to run some tests? You won't have to go anywhere."

It wasn't that I didn't want to leave the dumpy apartment. I was sure that Mrs. Coper would show up to kick me out soon enough. It was my fear of … well, everything. But most of all, I didn't want to be seen. I wanted to stay hidden. For good.

My anxiety led me to think that Dr. Cullen could be just trying to identify me and find out my background. But that couldn't be true; he wouldn't just go and do a data search to match my DNA. It was crazy to think that.

But then again, how could I be sure that he wouldn't betray my trust? Everyone else did.

I was scared. So scared. I didn't know if I should agree.

~WtSGD~

Winner of the week is: Edward's blue eyed girl04

Author note:

Thank you so much for your awesome feedback. I love it!

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A question: Do you think Bella should trust Dr. Cullen? And, why?

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Until we meet next Saturday…
Love and kisses.

Cozy.