SM owns Twilight.

(CozItRunsInMyBlood /Rose B. Mashal) owns the plot.

(BandMum) is the wonderful beta.

Chapter 9 Part 1

Dr. Cullen's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, "Hysterectomy? At fourteen?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes, sir." My head was down as I answered, and the silence that filled the room for the next minute was loud in my ears.

"What was the cause? Cancer? Bleeding? An accident?" He suggested all the possibilities for a girl that age to have such surgery, as he knew I wouldn't start talking on my own.

But even though he asked, it was too difficult to answer. I just shook my head in response.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked quietly. I hated how pathetic I was.

"I'm sorry," I apologized when I realized I wouldn't be able to tell him. The words were stuck in my throat, choking me mercilessly, yet I couldn't let them out.

"Please, don't be. I completely understand," he said, then closed the file and put it on the table. "We can continue tomorrow."

"I hate that I'm useless to you, Dr. Cullen. Maybe I'm not the right fit for the experiment."

"You're not useless. I just need you to start trusting me. You need psychological treatment. And you need time. Time will fix it all, I'm sure of it. I have plenty of time, dear. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you." I was still staring at the floor when he left. He could be right. Time might fix it. Fix me. But I didn't have much of that.

I was strangely grateful that he was gone, but sadly, the loneliness made it easy for the bad thoughts and awful memories to resurface. It all revolved in my mind, just as vividly as if it happened yesterday.

Three days in row of examination attempts, the questions stirring up the bad memories… it all took its toll on me. I curled into a ball on my bed and let the demons inside my head hunt me down. I was too weak to fight.

~WtSGD~

When evening came, I had no appetite for dinner. It remained untouched on the table, and judging by how I felt, it would probably end up in the trash.

Ironically, just two weeks ago I was thinking that soon I would be eating from the garbage. Now, I was actually considering throwing food away. Life was crazy.

Dr. Cullen had installed a big screen television in my glass room. It had so many channels, but my favorite one played cartoons all day long. This evening I had been watching a Tom and Jerry marathon. It helped a lot to keep the dark thoughts away and made me smile .

When Jerry had outsmarted Tom for the thirtieth time, I decided to call it a day. I brushed my teeth, and got ready for bed. Of course, sleep didn't come easily. It was too quiet around the lab, to the point I could almost hear my heartbeat. Smokey was making soft noises every now and then, and I wondered if he couldn't sleep, either.

After an hour or so of staring into the semi-darkness, I decided to visit the little monkey and see if he would like some company.

Smokey stopped swinging on the tree branch when he saw me approach. He came nearer to the glass door and looked at me suspiciously. We hadn't had an encounter since I started sharing the lab space with him. And since Dr. Cullen ordered me not to feed the animals, I didn't try to interact with the monkey much, afraid that wasn't allowed as well.

I hoped I wasn't breaking any rules by being near the glass cage without Dr. Cullen's permission or presence. But I had nothing better to do.

"Hey, Smokey!" I stood right in front of the cage and smiled at him. He was still looking at me strangely, not making a sound. "I thought since we'll be spending some time together, we should maybe get to know each other."

Smokey seemed to be studying me and my movements. I wondered if he could possibly understand what I was saying. After all, Dr. Cullen did say that he was very smart.

"Would you like that?" I watched as he pursed his lips, making a duck face, but not moving away. "I mean, it could get really boring in here, don't you think?

"You seem like a good boy. Would you like to be my friend? I don't have any friends.

"I'm not trying to guilt-trip you, I promise." I chuckled flatly. "I always wanted a pet, but my mother never allowed me to have one. My step-father was allergic to cats and dogs. He's allergic to anything nice, actually."

I was already tired from being on my feet, although it hadn't been that long. I was getting weaker and weaker each day. I wished I could let Dr. Cullen examine me. He needed that baseline to be able to compare my condition before and after the treatment, but I just couldn't stay still and allow him to touch me.

A soft moan escaped my lips as I sat down on the floor, and I was surprised to see the little monkey get down from the branch and come towards me on all fours.

Maybe I was wrong, but I could have sworn that Smokey's eyes were sad as he looked at me. He was very close now, only the glass separating us. Then the oddest thing happened.

Smokey mimicked the sound of my moan and then looked at me as if waiting for me to speak. When I didn't say anything, he repeated it. I couldn't be wrong this time; it really seemed as if he did want me to explain.

"Oh. It's okay, buddy. I'm not in a lot of pain. Just a little." I smiled sadly at him. "I'm here so Dr. Cullen can fix me. Like he fixed you. You were sick before, right?"

A sigh left my mouth when he mimicked the moan yet again, "It doesn't hurt that bad. I'm just tired. The painkillers don't work much anymore. But don't worry, I'm a tough girl; I can take it."

A few minutes passed as I got lost in my thoughts. Smokey was still sitting in front of me, in the same position as I was. When I shifted to rest my side against the glass wall, he did exactly the same.

I figured he liked to copy actions, so I spent some time doing things and watching him mimic me. He followed my finger with his through the glass, and showed me the toothiest smile when I giggled at his movements. I loved that we were able to communicate somehow.

"You're just so cute. Did you know that?" I told him, "I bet you were very loved by your family and friends before you came here.

"I bet you never felt so lonely that you spent the first hours of your eighteenth birthday talking to a monkey."

~WtSGD~

Another nightmare startled me awake at 6:10 AM. When I saw the clock, I realized I had slept for five hours straight, and I was thankful for that.

The first thing that caught my attention was a bouquet of red roses sitting on the small table across the room. My eyes lit up at the sight; the flowers were truly beautiful and prettily arranged in a vase.

I got up to get a closer look. I picked up the vase and raised the roses to my nose, inhaling deeply. They smelled even better than they looked, and it made me smile. It was very nice of Dr. Cullen to bring me roses.

Next to the vase was a leather book with a fancy-looking pen placed on top of it. I flipped through it but the pages were blank; it was a diary.

On the first page, a line was written in neat script:

They listen to you, they don't spill your secrets, and they never judge you.

Happy Birthday.

~E.M.

I frowned, not only because I didn't understand what the line meant, but because those weren't Dr. Cullen's initials. If he didn't bring me the roses and the diary, who did?

~WtSGD~

Author Note:

I loved hearing from you last time. Your stories about the most agonizing pain were mind-blowing. Strong women all over. Thank you for sharing with me.

A question:

What was the best birthday gift you ever had?

Your reviews feed the muse. Just saying. LOL

Join my readers' group if you haven't yet, it's so much fun in there. (CozItRunsInMyBlood)

Until we meet later…

Love and kisses.

Cozy.