SM owns Twilight.
(CozItRunsInMyBlood /Rose B. Mashal) owns the plot.
(BandMum) is the wonderful beta.
Chapter 12
Dr. Cullen had to work the next day, so he delayed the examination until the one after that. I wasn't sure if that was the truth, or if he wanted to see my reaction to the news. I gave him a blank look and said that I understood he had to go in to the hospital.
I wasn't happy, but I wasn't sad about it. I felt nothing. Maybe a little disappointed that I wouldn't get to be knocked out by meds into a rest with no nightmares but that was it.
The constant headache was worse and needing to throw up every few hours didn't help. My stomach was empty, but I still felt nauseated all day long. It was unpleasant, so every time I felt sleepy, I welcomed it with open arms.
Dr. Cullen set up an IV with a slow drip in my arm before he left. From previous experience, I knew it would take from four to six hours to finish, and I was positive I would have to take it out myself because Dr. Cullen wasn't expected to return until night.
From my spot on the bed, I could see Smokey playing around. He kept me entertained better than the TV since I couldn't stand the noise coming from it. I wasn't sure if Smokey could see me or not, but I could almost swear he was trying to get my attention. I wished I could get up and pay him a visit, but my body protested every little thing I did.
I fell asleep as I waited for my IV to finish, then startled awake, thinking that I overslept and it was running air into my veins. I wasn't sure if that was possible, but those things always terrified me.
Instead, the IV was almost full, and it took me several moments to realize that Edward had probably replaced it with a new one. I couldn't understand how he came and went so quietly without waking me up. I was quite a light sleeper, but I never heard the door to my glass room open or close. I didn't sense him at all.
After staying in bed for an hour or more doing nothing, I realized I wasn't going to go back to sleep. I got up to go to the bathroom, planning to take it slow since I was dragging the IV pole along with me, but practically had to run when nausea hit my already empty stomach as soon as I stood.
I sat on the bathroom floor for a while, waiting to see if the need to vomit had completely passed before I went back to bed. It would save me the hassle of a return trip, since holding myself together was quite painful.
The sound of my phone finally forced me to get up. I used the IV pole to support my wobbly legs, fighting pain with every step I took towards the phone.
The ringtone stopped a few seconds before I reached it but went off again a moment later. I frowned as I saw a number flashing on the screen, and not Dr. Cullen's name. I wasn't sure what to do at first, but supposed he might be calling me from another number.
"Hello?" I answered hesitantly.
"Bella! Are you okay?" The worry and concern I heard in his voice didn't keep me from recognizing it. It was the voice from the day before and it almost sounded as if he cared for my well-being.
It took me a long moment to reply as I wondered if it was really Dr. Cullen's assistant or somebody else. But who else could it be? After all, he had my number and knew my name.
I looked up at the camera, then sank onto my bed, too weak to keep standing. "Edward?" I asked, my eyes still on the small red lights circling the camera's lens.
He paused for a second before replying. "Yes. It's Edward. Are you okay?" he repeated.
"I- uh, I'm fine, sir," I said, looking down at the floor, and biting my lip.
"Thank God!" He sounded relieved. "You were in the bathroom so long, I got worried. I thought you fell and hit your head again."
"I didn't mean to make you worry, sir," was the only thing I could think to say.
I heard him sigh. "Please, don't call me 'sir' too. Edward is fine."
I didn't know what he meant by 'too.' Did many people call him 'sir,' and he didn't like it? Or did he mean that he didn't want to be called 'sir' because I called Dr. Cullen that? In either case, I needed to obey.
"Edward," I nodded, not sure if he could see me or not, but since he knew when I went to the bathroom and how long I was there – he probably was watching. Closely.
"That's a good girl." I could hear the smile in his voice, and my stomach turned at the sound.
I dropped the phone in my rush to the bathroom, and started dry heaving over the toilet. In my mind, it wasn't Edward's warm voice saying those words; it wasn't nice, and it didn't include a sweet smile. My stepfather's voice rang in my ears, over and over again. That's what he said when I obeyed him and did the things he told me to do.
"That's a good girl." I used to hear those words along with the sound of my soul being crushed.
~WtSGD~
When I got back to bed, my phone rang again, but I pretended not to hear. I assumed it was Edward. He probably called in the first place because Dr. Cullen was too busy to call himself.
I pulled the cover over my head and hoped for a tiny bit of control over my thoughts after those words had been planted in my brain. It was going to be a long day, and a long night.
Fortunately, he didn't call again, but the feeling of being watched lingered. I knew he was watching, and probably wanted to ask how I was feeling. It may even have been important for the experiment, but I couldn't talk to him. I was scared for no obvious reason.
When the second IV finished, I sat up and removed it myself. I wasn't feeling better, but the pain was a little less intense. The painkillers didn't do much. Soon nothing would work, and I hoped that whatever Dr. Cullen had planned could help. Maybe it would at least ease the pain.
Somehow, I fell asleep, and woke to the warm smell of chicken soup teasing my nose. My stomach growled, and I sat up to search for the source.
A large bowl of soup sat on my nightstand, and a feeling of being cared for brought a small smile to my lips at the sight.
The noises Smokey was making drew my attention, and my heart skipped a beat when I glanced his way.
Standing in front of his cage was a tall man in a hoodie, his back turned towards me. I swallowed nervously; it wasn't Dr. Cullen.
But he was feeding Smokey, so he must be the assistant who took care of the lab rats: Smokey and me. It was silly to think of myself as anything else. He hadn't brought me the soup because I was worth caring about. I was merely a tool in an experiment.
Still, I was grateful to have food and shelter. I couldn't deny that just because I got the same attention that Smokey did.
But Smokey wasn't given a cell phone.
I attempted to see the brighter side, but that didn't last.
That's why they want to do the experiment on you, idiot. To talk to them. You're nothing to them but a talking monkey. A voice in my headed reminded me, and I nodded to it and looked down.
Moving closer to the glass wall that defined my room, I tried to get a better look at this mysterious assistant. When Smokey saw me, he made louder noises, and the assistant looked over his shoulder at me.
Piercing green eyes met mine, warm, yet tinged with sadness and heartache. I was taken aback by the number of emotions I read in them from just one glance, lasting no more than a second.
Before I knew it, Mysterious Assistant was heading for the door that led inside the house. I gathered the courage to speak to him: I wanted to thank him for the soup, for checking on me, and for saving my life when I was passed out and bleeding on the bathroom floor.
"Edward?" I called after him, but he didn't answer. I tried again, a little louder, "Edward!"
He didn't respond, and I watched as he stepped inside and closed the door. He heard me and chose to ignore me, hurrying when I called his name.
I stared at the door, wondering why he kept avoiding me.
~WtSGD~
My curiosity about Edward, and why I wanted to talk to him, baffled me. Part of it was because he took care of me, and I wanted to thank him. But I wasn't convinced that was the full truth. There was something else.
Maybe I wanted to know more about him because he tried to avoid talking to me. Maybe it was that he watched me 24/7 while I knew absolutely nothing about him and only recently learned his name. Maybe it was utter boredom - I wasn't sure.
I guess since I avoided people so much, it was interesting to find someone who actively avoided me. I found myself thinking a lot about him, wondering what exactly he helped Dr. Cullen with, other than watching me and Smokey. Obviously, he was in the medical field. After all, he stitched me up and X-rayed my head.
I wondered how old he was, though he appeared younger than Dr. Cullen. He had a deep voice, but not the kind that gets deeper with age – it was like that naturally.
I wondered if he wanted someone else to do the experience on. I wondered about the girls Dr. Cullen asked him about. I wondered if I would see him again; actually see him.
Before I knew it, Dr. Cullen came in through the outer door, and I was shocked to realize that hours had passed as I lay there, doing nothing but thinking about the mysterious assistant.
To be honest, it was a nice change. At least, my thoughts weren't flashbacks of awful events I'd experienced. It was peaceful. Peace was rarely a thing I could find inside my head.
"Bella!" Dr. Cullen greeted me. "How are you feeling now, dear?"
I smiled softly and attempted to sit up, but he waved me back down. "I feel much better. Thank you, sir."
"That's good to hear," he smiled back, putting his bag on the small table, and opening it. "May I look at your stitches?"
My eyes traveled to his hands when he asked, and I was relieved to see him put on medical gloves. He had a knowing look in his eye, aware it was the only way I would allow him to touch my head.
"Yes, sir."
I was quiet while Dr. Cullen checked on me, trying my best to think about anything for distraction. I still felt uncomfortable with how close he was, but I wasn't going to push him away when he only wanted to help.
"Looks great. Edward did a very good job. The scar will be almost invisible, I promise," said the man who fed me and gave me shelter, and I wanted to laugh at his words. Did he really think I cared what I looked like, or how I appeared? It was merely another scar, not nearly as big as the ones in my heart and soul, not even close.
I nodded with thin lips, deciding not to say anything. It didn't matter, really.
"Are you ready for your examination tomorrow?" he asked as he took off the gloves and threw them in the trash can.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I said quietly.
"You do know that you don't have to do anything you don't want to, right?" He asked the same question he had asked me many times before.
"I'm aware, sir," I said, knowing that my words weren't convincing, so I added, "I just hope we can move on to the treatment; I'm in so much pain." It was the truth.
"I'm very sorry, kid. I hope the same."
~WtSGD~
Breakfast was delayed until after the examination and tests Dr. Cullen wanted to run. He promised he would be quick about it, and I told him several times that I wasn't hungry.
"Would you like me to tell you what I'm going to do while you're asleep, Bella? Would it make you more comfortable?" he asked as I lay on the table in a surgical gown.
"I'd rather not." I just wanted to fall asleep and wake up with no memory of all this. I didn't want to know what he was going to do. He couldn't hurt me more than I was already hurt even if he tried, anyway.
"Are you still sure you want to be unconscious during the process? Because I could give you something to relieve the anxiety and-"
"I want to be asleep. I'm sure. Positive," I said, hoping he would get on with it already.
"All right. If you have any questions before we begin, I would be happy to answer them."
I shook my head, "Let's start." I was about to close my eyes and try to clear my mind when one thought came rushing forward. "Wait!"
Dr. Cullen paused. "Yes, Bella?"
"Will Edw- will your assistant join you?" I asked, dreading the answer.
"No. But he will watch."
I swallowed thickly. "Is that necessary?" I asked. Something about him watching the examination made my chest feel tight. I couldn't explain why I felt that way.
Instead of answering my question, Dr. Cullen asked another one. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"
I bit my lip and looked away, not sure what I was supposed to say. I was afraid that telling the truth would upset him, but I didn't want to lie to him, either.
"Y-yes, sir," I said hesitantly.
"That's perfectly fine," he said, then without looking up, he spoke. "Edward, turn off all the cameras in the lab."
I took a deep breath. Dr. Cullen had just confirmed that Edward was able to hear whatever was said in the lab. I broke into a cold sweat as I realized he heard me say I didn't want him watching. I hoped he didn't think I was being a jerk. Unreasonably, the idea of upsetting him bothered me.
"Look at any camera, Bella. No red lights. It means that the cameras are shut down," Dr. Cullen reassured me, indicating a few of the cameras surrounding the lab.
My eyes followed to where he pointed, and true to his word, they were all now turned off.
Ironically, a sensation of loneliness and abandonment started to invade my chest at the sight. I was losing my mind.
As Dr. Cullen put a plastic mask over my mouth and nose, releasing a gas with an unpleasant smell, I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and what he could be doing now.
The thought of him took my mind off the dark thoughts I imagined would fill my head at that moment, and despite everything that was going on, I wasn't as scared as I expected to be. It was more than I hoped for.
As I slipped into a deep sleep, the only thing that terrified me were the questions Dr. Cullen was sure to ask after the examination, because I knew I wouldn't be able to answer any of them.
~WtSGD~
Author note: Who's still reading? Leave me a review so I know you're there. :)