SM owns Twilight.

(CozItRunsInMyBlood /Rose B. Mashal) owns the plot.

(BandMum) is the wonderful beta.

Chapter 13

It was a strange sensation - I fell asleep, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a different place. I could tell because it was softer, and warmer.

My body was heavy, and it took me a moment to realize that the drugs Dr. Cullen had given me were probably wearing off. I didn't try to move, but I looked around to see if I was really back in my bed or imagining it.

It felt like just a minute ago I was on the other side of the lab, on an examining table that had a cushioned leather top with no pillow. It felt like things had changed in the span of a blink.

The glass room was empty, the lab was quiet, and I felt so alone.

My eyes drifted to one of the security cameras in a corner of my room, and I stared at it. Calm washed over me when I noticed that they had been turned back on. I didn't understand how being closely watched by a complete stranger could make me feel that way, but I guess feeling that I wasn't alone was enough to settle my anxiety.

I wasn't sure how long I lay there, watching the lens of the camera as if it had the answers to all my questions. It was longer than a few minutes, because I heard Dr. Cullen coming into the lab through the inside door.

"Hey, Bella!" he greeted me when he entered the room, placing a tray of food on my small table.

"Hey." My voice was small through a tired smile.

"How do you feel?" he asked as he came closer to my bed. Looking over some things on my nightstand, he picked up a pair of medical gloves and began to put them on.

"I feel okay," I told him.

"Any pain?" he asked, his eyes focused on the gloves.

"Nothing more than usual."

Dr. Cullen nodded, and was silent for a minute as he took my temperature. "Good. Raise your arm, please." I attempted to do he asked, only then noticing that I had been neatly tucked in with the light blanket up to my neck.

Dr. Cullen checked my blood pressure and my pulse, then wrote everything down in a notebook he kept in his lab coat. When he was finished, he put the instruments back on the nightstand, removed the gloves and threw them in the trash.

"Well, everything looks fine for now," he said. "I brought you cream of chicken soup. Do you feel like eating?"

"Yes, sir," I said, smiling at him, as he turned to get the tray.

When I sat up, I felt the usual pain in my head grow sharper and more intense. I grimaced and clutched the back of my head as if that would stop the pain.

"Are you okay?"

"Just a headache."

"You better have your soup then, so you can take your medication," he said as he put the tray on my lap.

"Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome, Bella. I hope you enjoy it."

It sounded like he was about to leave, so I asked, "Will you tell me how the examination went?" I never thought I would be the one to bring it up.

"It went well, dear. I got all the information I needed to be able to start the treatment. Once the experiment begins, I'll be able to compare it to the new data, before and after," he said, looking at the tray on my lap.

"Oh, that's a good thing," I said awkwardly.

"It is. Is there anything you need?" It seemed like he couldn't wait to flee from the room.

"Is everything okay?" I replied to him with a question of my own, and he glanced at me for a brief second before he looked away. I realized then that he hadn't looked me in the eye since he entered the room.

"Yes, of course. Everything is okay, dear," he said, "Enjoy your meal and take your medications. I will come back later."

Dr. Cullen turned towards the door of my room, and I knew my assumption was right; he didn't want to stay a minute longer than necessary.

I expected he would have a lot of questions for me once I woke up, but it was the complete opposite. Dr. Cullen didn't even want to look at me.

I probably disgusted him. He probably was wishing that he could have found a better girl to work with – or on. He must be trying to figure out how to get rid of me.

My stomach turned at the thought of going back to the street, to the hunger and cold and constant fear. I knew the fear had never left my heart, not even when I came here, but it wasn't as intense.

I felt my throat closing up. "Dr. Cullen, I'm sorry," I called out after him, and he stopped in his tracks. I watched with tear-filled eyes as he turned around and looked at me.

"Sorry about what, Bella?" He didn't look confused, he looked frustrated, and I knew then that my suspicious were true; he didn't want me anymore. I frustrated him, I made him mad, and after the examination – I knew I disgusted him, too.

"I – uh, I'm sorry I made you mad at me, sir." Tears slipped down my face. "Please, punish me whatever way that pleases you, but don't kick me out." I couldn't imagine having to live in dark alleys again, not when I had become weaker each day since the last time the street was my home. I wouldn't even be able to defend myself.

"Damn it, Bella! I'm not mad at you, I won't kick you out, and I sure won't punish you!" he said angrily, and I looked down, afraid. "You didn't do anything wrong. Even if you did, I would never harm you. Please, trust me."

"Yes, sir," I said with my head still down, and tears wetting my cheeks.

"Don't cry, Bella." I heard him step closer to me before he offered me a tissue.

A minute or two passed. "I can't do feelings," he said in a low voice, and I looked up at him with a frown.

"W-what?" I asked, wiping my tears.

"You need a compassionate person in your life. A friend. Someone you can trust." He seemed to be talking to himself more than to me. "I can't be that person; I can't do feelings."

"I- I trust you, sir," I said, and he shook his head.

"No, Bella. You don't." He sounded very sure of himself, and I wondered why he hadn't punished me for that if he already knew. Could he be honest about never punishing me? I found it hard to believe, although I wanted to.

"I don't need a friend," I told him.

"You need more than just a friend. You need someone you can talk to. Secrets grow heavier the longer we carry them inside; they could break your shoulders, and your heart. Sometimes we need someone to carry them with us, even for just a bit."

I looked down again, unable to find words to reply to him. Maybe he was right, but that was for normal people, not for me. My secrets would go with me to the grave.

After a long pause, Dr. Cullen spoke again. "I'm sorry if I sound mad. I promise it's not because of you. I'm mad for you, and for the first time ever – I'm not sure what to do."

"I'm fine, sir." I was far from it. I knew it and he knew it, but I had a feeling he was hinting at what I feared the most.

"Listen, Bella. I don't think you realize how much money and power I have. Both are beyond your imagination, and then some. I'm capable of doing numerous things that your mind could never think are possible." I gulped, my eyes wide. "I'm not telling you this to scare you. I promised I would never harm you. I'm telling you this so you'll know that whoever hurt you – I could get you-"

"No!" I interrupted, my voice louder than I intended. "Please, don't. Don't go there." Tears formed in my eyes again, and my whole body flushed with heat.

"You won't have to be involved, but I'll get you your revenge."

"Please, Dr. Cullen. I can't. You can't… please." I started crying hysterically.

"It's all right, Bella." His voice was quiet and sad. I imagined I looked pathetic.

"You have to promise me that you won't search for him. Please, Dr. Cullen. Promise me."

His lips pressed into a thin line. "I promise you," he nodded, not seeming to like it. "I won't search for him unless you tell me otherwise. You have my word."

I nodded.

"But if you change your mind, I will have your back, supporting you and helping you through it."

"Thank you, sir," I said, knowing that I would never change my mind.

~WtSGD~

While I ate my bowl of soup, I couldn't stop thinking about what I would do if Dr. Cullen tried to contact my stepfather or go anywhere near him. Or what I would do if he decided he didn't want me anymore and kicked me out.

My survival instinct was increasing by the second, and I began plotting different scenarios to keep myself safe.

He had promised, but – what if he didn't really mean it? I couldn't risk it. I knew he could get all my information if he wanted to with the money and power he said he had, but he still respected my wish and didn't. I knew I should trust him, but I was almost positive that my ability to trust anyone was long gone.

Yes, Dr. Cullen may be a good person. He still hadn't given me any reason to think otherwise, but what if things went wrong and he did something, thinking it's in my best interest, only to end up hurting me? I couldn't risk that.

I was eleven years old when I first escaped the house. I stole twenty dollars from mom while she was passed out on the sofa. Mr. Phil was at work, and he wouldn't come back until later that day. I had about five hours to run as far as I could.

I kissed my unconscious mother and fled.

I had no plan, I didn't bring clothes or food, and I spent twelve dollars to get to what I thought was far. Unfortunately, it wasn't far enough. When night came, someone noticed me sitting alone on one of the benches.

"Hey kid, are you waiting for someone?" an old woman asked.

My answer wasn't instant but was good enough to make her smile and leave. "Mom told me not to talk to strangers."

I was only eleven, but with the weight of a hundred years of misery on my shoulders. I wanted to survive.

Eventually, I knew I had to leave the bus station if I didn't want someone else to notice me and report it to my family. I started walking, with no destination in mind. I had no idea what I was going to do. All I could think about was the happiness consuming me because of how far away I was from the man who violated my body every single night and made me feel so badly about myself.

I was finally free.

Or so I thought.

Everywhere seemed dark and empty. I was so scared, so hungry and very tired. After a while I came across a café that was still open. I sat at a corner outside, finding comfort knowing there were still people who were awake in there.

I leaned on a wall, and the next thing I knew, I was awakened by another stranger. She was my mom's age, pale, with red hair, and had a sweet smile on her face.

"Hi there! Are you okay?" Her voice was gentle just like her touch as she swept my hair out of my face.

I nodded, not knowing what to say, or if I should be talking to her at all.

"Are you hungry? I have muffins from this morning that I'll have to throw away soon. Would you like to save them from being wasted? They would be very upset if they didn't go into someone's tummy tonight."

I giggled, and her smile grew bigger. "Come with me, sweetie." She offered me her hand, and I took it. She sat me at a table in a corner and gave me a glass of milk and too many muffins to count. I was embarrassed, but very hungry, and I didn't care how crude I looked as I ravaged the muffins.

The nice lady smiled as she walked away. I watched as she wiped down tables and mopped the floor. I started thinking that maybe I could offer to help in exchange for the muffins she gave me, and if I could make a habit of it. I thought maybe if I worked hard, she would let me sleep in the café.

I wouldn't mind sleeping on the floor; any place would be better than my stepfather's house. Any place.

Not long after, I fell asleep, and for the first time ever, I wasn't scared to wake up to hands violating my body. Instead, I woke up to blue and red lights circling around the café walls through the windows.

Police.

My stepfather made a big show of how grateful he was to the nice lady who recognized me from the Amber Alert on the TV. I even saw tears. I didn't say a word when he put me in the car and drove away. The papers would be filed in whatever way he wanted. Faking police reports was his favorite game. After all, he was the sheriff of our town. His word was law.

It didn't matter what I said, nobody believed me. Nobody would believe the naughty child who was so much trouble according to her mom's testimony. No one would believe her over the good sheriff. No one would believe her when molestation couldn't be proven. He knew very well how not to get caught.

That night was the start of my nightmares. Mr. Phil made the past years look like nothing with what he did to me from that night on. That night was the first time I was left naked in the basement for who knows how many days.

It was the night I knew Mr. Phil would get away with anything.

The nice lady in the café thought she was doing the right thing. Mistakenly, she put me back in the hands of a monster. Dr. Cullen could do the very same. He might have good intentions, but it would end badly. It always had. There was no way I would allow him to put me on my stepfather's radar ever again. Over my dead body. Literally.

~WtSGD~

Now that he had the full gauge of my condition, Dr. Cullen wanted to start my treatment the day after the examination. In my mind, I thought of that treatment as a magic pill I would swallow and then things would start to look up again – I would be well.

Then again, with my luck, the magic pill might kill me like it did that poor rat. I would feel badly for disappointing Dr. Cullen, but that would be it. I wasn't afraid of dying. I'd always believed that death wasn't the worst thing that could happen to someone.

If I did die during the experiment, I just hoped that it would be painless. I've had enough pain in my life.

Dr. Cullen didn't direct me to the examining table this time. Instead he asked me to sit in what looked like a modified dentist's chair. I waited until he finished putting on his surgical gloves before he helped me into the chair.

"It's okay, Bella. You're going to be fine," Dr. Cullen reassured me. He must have sensed my nervousness although I hadn't said anything.

Once I was settled, he pointed out several leather restraints on the arm and leg sections of the chair. I looked at him, wide-eyed, as he began to explain.

"You know the treatment is new and hasn't been tested before. We're not sure how your body will react to it. Your muscles could spasm, your brain may go into fight-or-flight mode – anything is possible. These cuffs are precautions for your safety, nothing more. Are you all right with that?"

"I understand. I wouldn't want to accidently harm you, too," I said shakily.

Dr. Cullen gave me a smile. "You couldn't harm me, Bella. Not even intentionally." He sounded so sure, and I couldn't blame him. I was weaker than a day-old kitten.I was fine until he began to buckle me into the chair. The straps were lined with soft wool and encircled my wrists and ankles. Another stretched across my stomach. My chest heaved as though it was confined, too.

He made certain the straps weren't too tight, then moved to a nearby table to prepare a syringe.

I tried to calm myself and breathe slowly, but I wasn't very successful. I began to sweat as my heart rate increased and my throat dried, making it hard to swallow.

"You said before you have something to relieve anxiety. Would it be possible to get that to help me calm down?"

"I'm afraid not, dear. We can't risk combining it with this new serum. It might affect the way your body reacts to the treatment, or make the treatment less effective."

"We don't want that," I murmured in disappointment.

"No," he said, swabbing the middle of my arm with a cold wet piece of cotton. "Relax, Bella. It's only an injection."

"That's it?" I thought there would be more to it than that. I had imagined scalpels and stitches.

"Yes, dear. Take a deep breath," he ordered, so I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I felt the needle stick and very warm liquid flowing into my arm. He asked me to take another breath and before I could exhale, he said, "All done."

"Really?" I opened my eyes in surprise, because I could still feel the heat in my arm.

"Yes," he smiled. "How do you feel?"

I shrugged. "Nothing. Well, maybe just heat in my arm, but it's not uncomfortable." Dr. Cullen nodded before writing in his pocket notebook. "Is that normal?"

"We don't have a basis for what is normal, Bella. You'll have to tell me everything you feel, and I'll make sure you stay all right. Sounds good?"

"Yes, sir," I paused. "Will you unbuckle me now?"

"Not yet. We need to monitor your physical reactions for a bit first."

He kept saying 'we,' and I wondered if Edward was the other person he meant by that. I knew he was watching the experiment, but I didn't ask about him, although the idea of him watching me was always present in the back of my mind. I didn't know why.

As Dr. Cullen continued to scribble his notes, and I gazed at the cameras from my restraining chair, I felt the heat in my arm increase.

Initially, I ignored it, but then it became more intense. I looked at my arm and my eyes widened. The vein he had injected with the blue serum was swelling and turning aggressive shades of red and blue.

"Dr. Cullen?" I gasped.

~WtSGD~

Author note: I'm so happy for the feedback I received last chapter. I read and appreciate each one of them. Thank you so much.

I can't wait to hear your thoughts about this chapter.