The realisation struck James like a punch in the gut. Oh god. Helen was engaged to Hugh. Helen was marrying someone else. When Hugh had slung his arm around Helen possessively, James had felt a shiver of horror go through him, though he'd swallowed it down, congratulating them with a sentiment that sounded sincere even though it concealed the grim horror settling like lead in his stomach. Outside the pub, Siegfried gave him a sympathetic look and Tristan clapped his shoulder. James sighed inwardly. Obviously his true feelings on the subject belied what he'd hoped was a neutral expression. He should have known this was coming. Hugh had all but warned him off the morning Clive had been taken to Mallocks'. In bed that night, as sleep escaped him, James lay back and considered it all. It was hopeless. He was drawn so strongly to Helen but she obviously didn't feel the same way. He liked her so much, enjoyed her company, valued her counsel. Helen just seemed to get him in a way no one else ever had. He just had to hope they'd still be able to be friends once she'd married Hugh. The idea of never being able to see her properly again filled him with dread.
~~~~~
As Helen dozed on the Chapman's sofa, James tucked the blanket over her, ensuring she was warm enough. It was past eleven now, and it was important she should sleep. She'd said in the car on the way up that she'd not been sleeping that well so he was, in a funny sort of way, glad that she felt relaxed enough to sleep now. Perhaps the puppies had distracted her out of the pensive mood she was in. James had wondered if she'd been trying to tease a confession out of him. "What might you have told me?" she'd asked, her gaze on him, and he'd bottled it. He was such a fool. Helen must know, he thought. It hadn't seemed proper to allow his true feelings to bubble out of him though, to tell her that he loved her, wanted to marry her and grow old with her, have children and grandchildren with her, and retire somewhere quiet. It seemed wholly inappropriate to confess such things to a woman the night before her wedding to someone else. But he hadn't been able to resist tucking her in, making sure she was cosy. He'd wanted to duck down, press an affectionate kiss to her hairline but he'd resisted, allowing his hand to rest for a fraction of a moment on her shoulder. He could tell himself he was doing the honourable thing, but deep down he knew that wasn't quite true. He'd told Helen she should stay and enjoy the party, but they'd both known the moment Helen had said "Please, James?" that he'd been doomed. All Helen had to do was look at him like that and he was sunk. She was so beautiful, and he longed to kiss her, allow his fingers to tangle in her hair and draw her close but he knew it was impossible. James sighed heavily and considered her again. "Enough," he told himself.
~~~~~
"Did I miss it?" James asked. "Did you ever," Tristan said wryly, and Siegfried considered him impassively. James blinked. Could it be? Could it possibly be? He got out of the car, and slammed the door shut, strolling briskly down the churchyard path before he rounded the corner to the church porch. John Alderson stood outside, arms folded and he glanced at James but said nothing. Jenny was sat on the bench in the church porch, drumming her feet, and she eyed him, intrigued. "Helen's inside," she said easily and James nodded, before opening the church door and walking in, taking off his driving gloves and shoving them into his pockets. His heart leapt at the sight of her, and then contracted. Oh sweetheart, he thought, as he strode down the aisle towards her. There is yet hope, James, a little voice inside him murmured and he sat down next to her, wondering what on earth he should say. Helen broke the silence. "I thought you were going home?" she said, her voice raw and he grimaced for a moment. "Something inside said I should be here," he replied simply, and Helen dabbed at her eyes. "I told you I'd make a fool of myself," she said and he considered her. "Oh James," Helen said "What have I done?" Her voice cracked and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder instinctively. Helen nestled against him and a pang ricocheted through him. "Hugh didn't deserve this. How on earth will I face anyone?" Helen said tearfully and James couldn't bear it any longer. "You didn't do this because you're cruel or unkind. You did this because you're the opposite of those things," he murmured to her, drawing her closer and Helen wiped the tears from her eyes. James allowed himself to enjoy her proximity for just a moment. "Your Dad's waiting outside with Jenny," he said softly and Helen nodded. "Let's get you home," James said and with a consoling pat on her back, he stood up and waited for her, holding out his hand. Helen followed him, slipping her hand into his as they walked back down the aisle and out of the church. As they reached the church porch, just by the door, James stopped and turned to Helen, watching her carefully. "It will be alright, sweetheart" he murmured and she nodded tearfully. He brushed a tear from her cheek and then kissed her cheek gently and Helen closed her eyes for a moment, reaching up to cup his cheek and hold his face against hers. He ached to kiss her properly, but he knew it wasn't the moment. Instead he kissed her cheek again, squeezed her hand and straightened up before opening the door to walk out into the porch with Helen.
~~~~~
"You bastard," Hugh said angrily and before James had really grasped what was going on, he felt Hugh's fist connect with his cheekbone and fury surged through him. He reeled back, bringing his hand to his face and wincing. "Bloody hell, what was that for?" he asked angrily, as Hugh loomed at him. "Helen," Hugh spat and James glared at him. "What on earth are you on about?" James retorted, touching his cheek gingerly and regretting it almost instantly. "You, and Helen," Hugh said angrily "you're the reason she left me at the altar." James held his hands up. "I swear to God, Hugh," he began and Hugh glared at him. "You swear what, Herriot?" he said with a glower. "Helen and I aren't seeing each other," James protested and Hugh's eyes narrowed. "I've seen the way you look at Helen," he retorted, clearly still furious and James touched his face again, wincing but saying nothing. "Do you deny it?" Hugh asked and James held up his hands. "Helen and I are good friends, but we're not seeing each other," he repeated and Hugh glared at him. James looked up and saw Helen appear around the corner of the farmhouse and he swallowed hard. "If you'll excuse me, Hugh, Mr Alderson called me out to look at one of his foals, and I've kept him waiting long enough," James said coldly, and he slammed the car door, picked up his veterinary bag and walked over to Helen who looked absolutely horrified. "James!" she said, visibly upset and he considered her for a moment. "Your dad rang about the foal," James said wearily and Helen looked up at him. "Did Hugh hit you?" she asked and James sighed and gave her a patient look. Helen made an exasperated noise, and then looked up at him. "Come into the kitchen on your way back down. You can't go back to Siegfried with your face like that," she said gently and James nodded. "Where's the foal?" he asked wearily and Helen gestured to the stable. As James turned to walk towards it, Helen caught his arm and he turned to look at her. "Please don't head off without letting me patch you up?" she said and he nodded. "Alright," he said, and Helen squeezed his arm affectionately. As James walked over to the other side of the yard, Helen folded her arms around herself and fixed Hugh with an angry stare. She met his gaze coldly, and as he made to move towards her, she shook her head and walked off into the farmhouse furiously. Helen retrieved a bottle of witch hazel from the cupboard under the stairs and she turned to find Hugh leaning against the door frame. "What the bloody hell did you think you were doing?" she asked him angrily and he looked slightly ashamed for a moment. "You wanted us to still be friends, Hugh, and you're going a really funny way about it," Helen said, visibly upset. "Why on earth did you punch James?" she asked and Hugh met her furious gaze. "Because you're in love with him," he said "and I'm a jealous idiot." Then he turned, and walked out of the farmyard and Helen heard the rumble of his car's engine as he drove out.
When James came into the farmhouse forty five minutes later, he found Helen in the kitchen, and he tapped on the door. Helen glanced up and she smiled when she saw him, and then grimaced when she saw the swelling around his cheek and eye. "God, James, I'm so sorry," she said hastily, wiping her hands on her apron and then taking it off and setting it down on the Aga. "It's fine," James said wearily and Helen shook her head. "It's really not bloody fine," she said and James considered her. "Come and sit here," Helen said and he came to sit in the chair she gestured to. Helen cupped his chin in her hand, and examined the bruising to his cheek carefully. "This is going to be a beauty of a black eye," she murmured and James sighed. Helen reached for the witch hazel and a roll of gauze, and gently began to tend to his face. "Those wrestling lessons he had at school clearly paid off," Helen said softly and James looked up at her. They smiled at each other and James sighed. "It hurts like hell," he confessed and Helen rubbed her thumb over his cheekbone gently. "I'm sorry," she replied and James shrugged. "It's really not your fault," James remonstrated and Helen looked at him patiently. "It really isn't," he said and Helen shrugged. "I still feel responsible," she replied and James shook his head. "You absolutely aren't. If Hugh can't hold his temper, that's his look out," he said and Helen sighed. "He thinks we're seeing each other," James continued and Helen met his gaze. "He realised I was in love with you, I think," Helen replied lightly as she dabbed gently at the cut and James stared at her. "He's just lashing out, because he's jealous," Helen continued softly and then she met his gaze. "Helen," James breathed and she smiled at him before returning her attentions to his face. At length, she set the gauze down and turned to screw the top back on the bottle. "That's better," Helen declared. James was still staring at her. "Say it again," James said in disbelief, and Helen leant back against the table. "Hugh lashed out because he's jealous of you," she replied softly "because he realised I'm in love with you." Helen glanced up at James and he held out his hands and then gently pulled her into his lap. Helen smiled at him and James smiled in return. "You're in love with me?" he said incredulously and Helen nodded, as she looped her hands around his neck. "I'm in love with you, James," Helen confirmed and James sighed in relief. "Oh, thank god," he said fervently and Helen laughed, her chuckle silenced as James kissed her, slowly and gently. Helen sighed against his mouth as their kiss deepened, and James slid his hands around her waist. At length they drew apart and they smiled at each other, foreheads resting against each other's. "I love you, Helen," he murmured to her and they kissed again. "Marry me," James said and Helen met his gaze. "You're serious?" she asked softly and he nodded. "I've never been more serious about anything," James said. "Alright," Helen replied and James kissed her again, relief coursing through him. At length they drew apart, foreheads touching and they smiled at each other giddily. "Can I see you this week?" James asked and Helen's smile broadened. "I thought you'd never ask," she replied wryly and James sighed contentedly, cupping Helen's cheek and then turning to kiss her again. They kissed leisurely for a few minutes until a noise at the door forced them to break apart. Jenny eyed them with something akin to amusement, before heading upstairs to her bedroom to dump her satchel down.
"I am never going to live this down," Helen said ruefully as Jenny's footsteps could be heard on the staircase, and James considered her, amused. "Don't look at me like that," Helen said reproachfully and James began to smile. "You have just agreed to marry me," he reminded her and she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I know," she said, smiling and she entwined their fingers, squeezing them affectionately. "But all the same, I probably should be setting an example to my little sister," Helen demurred and James pulled her down for another kiss. "Alright," he replied easily. "Would you like a cup of tea?" Helen asked and he nodded. "I'd love one," he replied and Helen smiled, kissed him again and then made her way over to the range, setting the kettle down, and retrieving the tea, some milk and a packet of biscuits. She took down three mugs from the sideboard and set them down and glanced over at James, almost shyly. They smiled at each other, and then Jenny burst into the room, Poppy trailing in her wake. "Hello James," Jenny said cheerfully "are you staying for tea?" Poppy jumped onto James' lap, and made a great show of kneading his lap and rubbing against him. He scratched her chin affectionately and Poppy purred loudly, settling down on James' knee with great satisfaction. "I'll stay for a cuppa," James replied, fondling Poppy's ears and Helen smiled. Jenny nudged her sister, and gestured to the cat. "I think you've got competition," she deadpanned and Helen blushed, to Jenny's evident amusement, as she looked between her sister and James. "Helen, you've gone very pink," Jenny observed and Helen cast a reproachful look at her little sister before turning her attention to the kettle, spooning tea into the teapot and then pouring over the hot water. She set the lid on the pot, swirling it slightly and then setting it down on the cruet to allow it to steep. "How was school?" Helen enquired and Jenny shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh, you know," she replied, eyes dancing as she considered her sister. "How was your day?" Jenny asked and Helen smiled despite herself, and she glanced at James. "Fine, thank you," Helen replied and Jenny glanced between her sister and James. "How about you Jim?" she asked, wondering if James would rise to her questioning. "Oh, a busy enough morning," he replied "but this was my last call of the afternoon. And then I have a couple of hours of surgery this evening." Jenny frowned. "What happened to your face? That must hurt like anything!" she observed and Helen and James exchanged a look. "Oh, just got caught unawares," James said easily and Helen looked relieved. "Here's your tea Jenny," Helen said, passing a mug to her sister and then she took a mug to James, before picking hers up and sitting back down in the chair next to James'. He took her hand into his, intertwining their fingers and they smiled at each other. Jenny considered them, amused and quite pleased. "This is new," Jenny observed, gesturing at their hands and the couple looked at each other. Helen shrugged her shoulders easily at James and he laughed. "You are ever observant Jen," he replied easier and Jenny grinned. "Good, I'm glad," she remarked, retrieving a biscuit from the tin and nibbling at it.