A/N: We're at another time jump here and at the spot where the prologue takes place.
Chapter 21
BPOV
The day he'd uttered the words "marry me" I must have looked at him like he had two heads. However, if I thought he was crazy, it just meant that I was crazy as well.
There was no way I couldn't say yes to him. My heart and my body wanted him and no one else, and the fact that he asked me to marry him…well, it was obvious he felt the same.
So, I followed my gut and said yes.
We were married at the courthouse the next day. Rose and Emmett were there, along with Esme and Carlisle, who hopped on a plane as soon as Edward called them. I hadn't bothered with telling my parents.
My father would not walk me down the aisle, and my mother would have said something damaging that would have ruined the mood. The paparazzi would alert them, anyway. We weren't keeping it a secret from anyone; they knew we were together.
My mom's tears had made my chest ache, but only slightly. Because when she calmed down, her words were harsh and proved to me I was right in not telling her. "It's probably best. It would have taken traveling to so many dress shops to find a pretty one in your size," she'd told me.
As if brides who weren't a size 16 didn't have similar issues. The only issue I had was she saw me as fat.
I hadn't spoken to her much since then, every few weeks my phone would ring with her name on the caller ID. Sometimes I'd answer, sometimes I wouldn't. Her words shouldn't have mattered, but I knew they'd always affect me.
I didn't hate my mom; I knew my father brainwashed and mentally abused her. He conditioned her to believe that her worth was only in how she looked. The few times I'd found the courage to say something to her about it over the years, she'd brushed me off. I didn't have it in me to keep trying, only to not be heard.
But in the last two years, things had changed drastically for me. I'd gained so much confidence in myself and in Edward's love for me, that everyone else's words and opinions no longer mattered.
However, I hadn't realized how much the little surprise I had for Edward was going to change things for us once again.
I couldn't have guessed how much it would set me back or how much it would end up healing me in the end. All the tears and sleepless nights would be worth every moment.
—DC—
I rushed to the bedroom. I wanted him—badly—but I had been bursting at the seams all day, waiting for him to come home. But then he sidetracked me by attacking me with his lips and hands as soon as he walked through the door.
He followed me, slamming the door behind him and pressing me up against it. "You have no clue how bad I fucking need you," he breathed against my ear.
He ground his erection against my belly, and I couldn't help but giggle. I couldn't keep quiet any longer.
He pulled back, staring at me as he ran his fingers along my throat. "Is there something funny, baby?"
I shook my head, my smile never leaving my lips. I knew he was going to be ecstatic.
We'd been trying to have a baby for months now. He'd decided to only take smaller roles that wouldn't take him out of the state for a while so there wouldn't be an issue if he needed to rush home.
"Nothing's funny, it's just…um, I'm pregnant."
His eyes widened as the words seeped into his brain, a smile slowly forming on his lips. "Pregnant? You're pregnant?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm pregnant."
"You're pregnant!" he yelled before kissing me deeply. "I really got it in there good, huh?" He grinned as we pulled apart.
"Edward!" I chastised him, but I couldn't help but laugh, rolling my eyes playfully. "Yeah, you got it in there good, honey."
—DC—
As the days wore on, my excitement over our baby didn't diminish. But as things calmed down, I began to think about what being pregnant would entail, and my nerves started to get to me.
How much weight would I gain? Would I actually lose the weight once the baby got here? I didn't know why it mattered, but my brain kept circling over what my mom would say when I told her. Would it excite her that she'd be having a grandchild, or would she just validate my fears?
"I'm scared," I spoke into the dark of our room as we laid in bed.
He pulled me closer to him, kissing the top of my head. "What are you scared of, baby?"
"This whole being pregnant thing, it's kind of unnerving, you know?"
I felt his nod before he placed another kiss on my hair. "I'm scared, too. Sometimes it slips my mind, and then I all of a sudden remember we're going to be parents."
"That's not really what I'm afraid of, Edward," I whispered, swallowing around the lump in my throat.
His body, which moments ago had been languid and relaxed, tensed. He was quiet for a few minutes, and I feared what he was going to say. His voice was hoarse when he finally spoke. "What are you afraid of, then?"
"That I'll gain more weight while I'm pregnant. That when I do, I won't lose it after. I'm happy where I'm at but—"
He sat up, staring down at me. "You're pregnant, you're supposed to gain weight."
I pulled the covers up, hiding myself from him for the first time in years. "I'm already 215, Edward! What if I reach 230, 250? I don't want that! And then what will my mom say?"
"Fuck your mom!" he yelled, throwing the covers off and getting out of bed, pacing around the room. "Why aren't my words enough? Why haven't my words ever been enough? I don't care how much you weigh. Isn't a healthy baby more important than a few extra pounds or what your mom fucking thinks?"
Tears were streaming down my face at this point. "I don't know why I feel this way," I hiccuped.
Once he knew I was crying, he dropped back down onto the bed, suddenly calmer. He pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly. "I didn't mean to make you cry, Bella. I really didn't. But...I think if we're going to make it through this pregnancy with our sanity intact, we need to talk to someone. We have to straighten all of this out, or at least try to."
"Like a counselor?"
"Yeah, like a counselor. Is that okay with you? I just…I want us to enjoy this time, we both deserve that. This is our first baby."
I breathed in deeply before letting it out and nodded against his chest. He was right; I didn't want to feel this way. I wanted to be in awe of the way my belly grew with our child, and not worried about if I was too big.
I'd do anything to give us—all three of us—the life we deserved, no matter what that entailed.