A/N: I'm bad at waiting to post, especially when I have the whole thing done. I had planned to post twice a week, but we only have 22 (this chapter) through 25 left, and then the epilogue. Instead, I'll be posting once a day until it's finished.

I do have some outtakes planned to write, but those will be in the coming weeks/depending on when I get the muse for them.

This chapter is a time jump of about 5 months or so and Bella's body is changing with the pregnancy, which is more noticeable now.

Chapter 22

EPOV

I washed the shaving cream from my face before wiping it dry. Taking a deep breath, I stared at myself in the mirror. Tonight was a big night for both me and Bella. It was the premiere of "Someone Else."

Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling like myself. I'd been holding things together for a while now, and I was ready to break.

I didn't want her to see me cry. I didn't want to put my emotions onto her shoulders when she was already carrying so much. But as I stood there alone in our bathroom, my heart freely ached for her—and for myself.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. Bending over the sink, I tried to catch my breath as sobs simultaneously wracked my body. I was so sad, so angry. I hated her parents; I hated the kids we'd gone to high school with, the ones who had been so cruel to her.

Her whole adolescent life, she'd been punished and ridiculed for something she really had no control over. It wasn't her fault that by the time we were in sixth grade she'd already filled out and needed a bra.

It was like a knife was stabbed into my gut and constantly being twisted after our first counseling session. I wanted to hold her and never let go when she spoke about how much she hated her body. It wasn't anything I hadn't known. Anyone with eyes could have seen it during high school, but I thought it had gotten better. And I supposed it had, but the fear of gaining weight during pregnancy had dragged it all back to the surface.

To me, her body was beautiful. Her curves were deep and dangerous to my libido. I wanted her constantly, and she knew it. And now her body was even more amazing.

She was growing our baby inside of her. She was constantly nourishing and protecting our unborn son or daughter.

But it was hard to watch her. It was hard to see her turn this way and that way, trying to make sure she looked decent. That she didn't look too fat, as she'd call it.

However, it was no longer every day that she did that. Counseling was helping both of us immensely.

I was learning how to listen to her, how to hear her and to understand what she was saying. It was a relief to hear the fact that my words did matter to her. She'd been conditioned to worry about the way her body looked for so long that her anxiety played on a loop that made it seem like I wasn't being heard.

But I was.

She'd cried—much like I was now, raw, with open wounds thought to be healed long ago—saying that my words mattered, even when it seemed like they didn't. But it was the words that followed that truly broke me, even though I kept myself together for her.

"It's not that I don't believe you feel the way you do. It's been two years…actually it's been so much longer than that, and it's still hard to imagine that you could look at me that way. I'm afraid one day I'm going to wake up and my recent life will have been a dream. I'll be back in high school and—" A sob ripped through her and she could no longer form words.

I glanced over at our counselor and she gave me a nod. I kept my voice gentle, asking a question I'd been dying to know the answer to. "Did you not feel this way with Seth?"

It took her a few moments before she could collect herself enough to answer. "No, not in the same way, at least. He mattered, but he…he wasn't you, Edward. I'm scared that one day you're going to wake up and see me as so many other people have. I'm scared that as time goes on and I get big—bigger—and pregnant, it'll change everything."

I'd grabbed her hand in mine, staring at our entwined fingers. "I don't know how to explain it to you, Bella. My love doesn't have conditions. I'm not your parents, I love who you are inside. Your outside is just a bonus. I don't care how much weight you put on as long as I have you and our baby."

"I think that's a great stopping point for today. It'll give you some time to really let Edward's words sink in, Bella," Maggie, our counselor, had said.

That was our first session, we'd gone a few more times since then and I could see the improvement in her.

Maggie worked hard. With each session she was helping Bella to see that her body was powerful, that her body was strong and beautiful even in all its flaws. And that everyone had flaws.

Bella was learning she didn't owe anyone anything.

She wasn't required to give the world a perfect, slender body. She didn't owe the world femininity in the way it was expected. The only person she owed anything to was herself. And it was beautiful to watch it slowly sink in.

But while she showed emotional growth, I found myself feeling stuck.

Counseling had been my idea, but I didn't talk as much as I probably should have. I didn't know how to put my emotions into words or how to express the anger and hurt I felt at times. How could I tell her I was worried she'd shut me down again one day?

I didn't realize how much her initial rejection all those years ago had truly affected me. But now I was seeing how it had shaped me. I played different roles which consistently gave me the freedom to jump into someone else's life. I was able to escape the reality of my own fears. I was scared of her leaving me behind again. Hell, I'd even proposed to her because I felt like I needed to convince her not to run.

In hindsight it probably wasn't the best way to start our marriage. But we were in it, and we were expecting our first child.

I was terrified of how she'd handle everything, which made me pause, but I'd dig as deep as I had to in order to make our relationship work. Even if that meant laying all of my hurt and fear at her feet.

—DC—

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Edward?"

I took a few calming breaths and quickly splashed some water on my face, hoping to hide the fact that I'd been crying.

As soon as I pulled open the door, my breath was knocked out of me. She stood there, her hair beautifully curled, and her makeup light and showing off her natural beauty. She was ready to slip into the dress Alice had designed for her. It did nothing to hide the fact that she was pregnant since our plan was to announce it to the world tonight.

But with one look at her down-turned lips, I knew she could sense something was wrong.

"Edward," she whispered, rushing to me and wrapping her arms around me. "What is it, honey?"

A soft sob escaped my lips as I felt the firmness of her still growing belly pressed against me. As she soothingly raked her fingers through my hair, the words just slipped out. "Sometimes I'm scared you'll forget me again."

Her breath hitched, and she pulled back, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Never. I never forgot you. You were always there in my mind, even if you were tucked away. God, I'm so sorry. I could never—I love you so much, Edward."

I drew in a shaky breath. I knew I shouldn't , but I suddenly felt weak for feeling how I was. "I'm sorry—"

She kissed my lips softly. "Don't you dare apologize to me for feeling something. We can't not go tonight, but let's just make an appearance and then head out. We've both seen the movie and this…we're more important. We need to talk about this."

"Yeah, yeah okay."

—DC—

We made our appearance; we posed for dozens of pictures and spoke about the movie and how—if at all—our relationship had affected it.

The best part, however, was when I'd placed my hand on Bella's tummy and everyone fell almost silent. Fans still screamed, and camera shutters still clicked, but for a moment, no reporter uttered a word. And then…everything exploded. Everyone began yelling questions at us and we just smiled politely and made our way into the theater.

We made conversation with a few of my co-stars, all of them congratulating us as we slipped into our seats. But once the lights dimmed, and the film started rolling, we snuck out the back and into our limo.

We were quiet on the way to the airport, but it was a comfortable silence.

I was embarrassed of how vulnerable I felt earlier, but it seemed my words from earlier had aired an unspoken tension between us. There was no denying I felt lighter now. Even if it was only the tip of the iceberg, I knew we'd be okay.

Especially now that we were truly going home, back to Sacramento to wait for our little one to make his or her appearance. We'd be away from everything in Hollywood for the first time in months.

—DC—

Once we settled into the private jet that I rented for the short flight, I was the first to speak. "I think I'm done acting. I'm tired of pretending to be different people. It was never what I actually wanted, anyway."

She turned to me, confusion on her face. "Why have you never told me this?"

"I was content in it, and now I'm not. I want to direct and produce, maybe even start up my own company."

She nodded, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "Then do it. I've got your back, just like you've got mine."

The rest of the flight was spent with us wrapped up in each other. The more serious conversations would begin once we got home.

We'd been married for almost two and half years, and it was like we were just now starting our lives together. We were headed in a direction of healing for both of us.

There was a feeling that was rolling around inside of me. I couldn't think of a better word to describe it aside from excitement.

I was excited about the life that was being created in Bella's tummy and to watch how our relationship would continue to bloom once our child was born.

There were things that still laid heavy on my chest, but I knew we'd work through it all and we'd come out stronger than ever.