Track #6: A Team
Ed Sheeran
White walls, white floor, white lights. Lelouch stares numbly at the bright blank canvass infront of him willing it to turn into a different color, to turn into something lively.
Life. Live.
"Mr. Lamperouge?"
The worried voice of an older man shakes him out of his stupor. Turning his head to the right, he has almost forgotten that he is not alone. "I'm sorry. Can you please repeat the question?"
The man sighs. "No, I'm sorry to put you into this situation given after all that just happened. I just need to interrogate you to determine if there was foul play. I'll try to make this as short as possible... So, do you know the patient personally?"
"No. We're neighbors but we barely talked to each other."
The man jots down notes. Lelouch studies his uniform and reads the nameplate on his chest. J. Gottwald. He wonders what 'J' stands for. John? Jonathan? Jack? He should have asked the officer after he introduced himself with just his surname earlier. He wonders if he could ask him later.
"Can you elaborate on how 'barely' you talked with each other?"
"Well, she rarely comes out of her apartment, I think in a week, I just could see her outside for three times. When that rare chance comes, I normally greets her and she would just return it with a nod."
"That's it? How long have you been a resident of the complex?"
Lelouch holds his fingers up and tries to remember the length of time he has been living there. It must be because of the shock for he is having a hard time remembering. "Four? No, five years."
"And according to the information that we've gathered from the landlady, the patient have been a resident for only two years." Lelouch nods but he doesn't actually remember. All he can think of is how cold her hands had been. Cold and white. "So within those two years, you never got the chance to exchange words with her other than greetings?"
"I did."
"Well, can you elaborate on that?"
"The city seems dead tonight."
Lelouch glanced at his side where the unexpected voice came from and was surprised to see his elusive but pretty neighbor leaning against the railing. A bottle of beer was in her right hand while a lit cigarette was on the left.
He scrambled his brain to remember her name. C.C. that's it.
Looking out the city scape before him, he couldn't help but be confused. "It looks so alive to me. The lights are blinding and blinking so hard."
"But listen."
A moment of silence ensued between them as they indulged to the sound or more likely, the lack of sound in the streets.
"It's quiet. There may be lights out there, but the sound of the vehicles, the voices of the people who are usually awake at this hour, even the barks of the dogs are missing tonight. Only the depressing songs of the cicadas can only be heard."
He heard everything she had said but only one word stuck with him. Cicadas. He rarely heard people use that word. Crickets was the more commonly used. But cicadas, just the enunciation of the word alone sounded magical and mysterious.
"People tend to label things just by how they look, they completely forget that they needed to listen, too. Especially at silence. You may not believe it, but silence can tell more stories than words."
"Silence... I heard quiet people had the most stories to share because they are the deep observers of the world."
The woman nodded. "That, too." She took a long drag of her cigarette - eyes closed, then exhaled a thick cloud of smoke in the air. She watched it went up and up until it vanished before her eyes. An ambiguous smile played on her lips. "Nice talking to you. Have a good night."
And with that she left him alone in the balcony. He didn't see her again after three days.
"We just talked about some basic things. There was a time when I helped her carry her groceries. C.C. wa - is a quiet person."
"And her work? Do you know what she does for a living?"
Damn, he worked overtime again. If not for his promotion on the line of this project, he wouldn't be spending so much time with that bastard of a colleague who did not stop talking about every woman he had been with. It annoyed Lelouch more that he was degrading these women as if it was their obligation to satisfy his needs. Bastard indeed.
The apartment key slipped off his hand as he tried to open the door. Ah, he couldn't wait to get to his bed and sleep like a log. When he was bent over retrieving the fallen key, he heard the sound of the door opening followed by voices, one of which was familiar to him.
"This is not enough. We're together for three hours and your payment is just for two."
Glancing up, he saw his neighbor with make-up smeared on her face and talking to a large, tall man whom Lelouch was seeing for the first time.
"Well, you've had a great time, haven't you? It's the only money that I have right now."
"No. Pay me with the price that we've agreed with."
The man laughed at her. "Or else what? You're gonna call the police. I bet they would be arresting you first for doing this kind of job, slut. Just take the money and go to sleep. You're not even a good fuck."
The man spitted on the floor before leaving C.C. alone with a few bills on her shaking hand. It wasn't until she was about to enter her apartment that she finally noticed that he was there.
"C.C.," he started but didn't know what to say next.
C.C. looked at him from head to toe with no expression in her eyes. "You seem tired, Lelouch. Do you want me to ease your muscles for you?"
"Uhhmmm. I'm fine. I'll just sleep this off."
The woman nodded at him. "Sleep. That sounds actually better."
Only when he was alone again in the hallway that Lelouch noticed how tight he was holding his key. He opened his hand and was surprised that there was actually a small wound on his palm.
"All I know is that she works at night. Sometimes outside her apartment, some nights she stays there."
The office writes something again. "Have you seen any suspicious person who went in her apartment? Perhaps, her customers?"
Lelouch grits his teeth. So he already has an idea of what she is doing yet he still asked him. "If there was, I didn't see any one. My job lasts until late hours so it's already almost midnight when I arrive home."
"What about her daughter?"
At this, Lelouch closes his eyes. Shit, he had totally forgotten about the little girl. How it would break her heart upon knowing what happened to her mother. An image of a bubbly five year-old girl running along the corridor, shouting "Mommy! Mommy!" appears in his mind.
"I'm doing it for her, do you understand?"
"But why not find another job? You're smart. I'm sure someone will hire you."
A bitter laugh escaped from her lips. "Do you really think that? Well, you've got a lot of faith in me, Lelouch. I slept with almost every man in this town except you. And most of them are married. I'm pretty sure, if I apply to a job somewhere out there, it is inevitable to see any of my customers or even work with or for them. That is if they allow me to pass the interview."
"How about jobs outside town?"
"The cost of living is too expensive and most importantly, my daughter is here. Everything that I am doing is for her future. Do you understand?" she asked again.
Lelouch looked straight into her eyes. "I do."
"All C.C. told me was the child is staying with her grandmother and would just visit her on the weekends. Sometimes, it was C.C. who went to her mother's house to spend time with her daughter. The father has been out of the picture long before she gave birth."
"And her relationship with the child and her mother?"
"Fantastic."
Officer Gottwald writes again and somehow, it is getting to Lelouch's nerves. So he abruptly stands up to stop himself from grabbing the pen and throwing it away.
"Do you mind if I go to the rest room?"
"No. You may go ahead. I'm in need of a coffee anyway."
He gives him a nod and proceeds to find the rest room as soon as possible before the doctor returns and gives them whatever news that he has.
Turning on the faucet, he meticulously washes his hands even though they are totally clean. There is no blood when he found her unconscious in her room. She overdosed.
He turns the faucet so it would release warm water for suddenly all he could feel is her cold, white skin. She was so cold. Too cold and too white to still be alive. But the doctor said that she was still breathing. Barely, but she is. That was an hour ago.
Returning to the bench, he finds Officer Gottwald with a cup of coffee in his hand. Another one is placed on his seat, which the man immediately offered to him when he sees him.
"Thanks."
"Feeling better?"
Lelouch nods. "A bit."
"Okay, I just have a few more questions left. Do you know that she's using drugs and even dealing it?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"I am very sure, officer."
"Well, how about changes in her appearance and behavior? Have you noticed any change in her lifestyle?"
"Are you eating well? You look thinner."
"I eat three times a day."
"And what do you eat?"
"Food."
Lelouch sighed at her evasive answers. He knew something was wrong with his neighbor. She was almost not getting out of her apartment for a week. Her cheeks looked hollow and her skin was not healthily pale. He also found a number of suspicious looking people coming in and out of it. And most notably, her daughter hasn't visited for a month now.
"Is something wrong, C.C.? You can tell me."
"Is something wrong?" A bitter laugh. "Lelouch, everything is wrong! Everything is against me and the good life! I just want us to be happy but instead I am stuck with this life of a whore forever! I have dreams, too."
"Hey." Grabbing her shoulders, he turned her to him but she remained looking at the floor. "I am on your side. Look at me, C.C."
And when she did, Lelouch saw how dilated her pupils were. Frowning, he asked. "Are you high?"
The woman shrugged. "I just took a little to forget."
"Since when? Stop this at once. Think of your daughter."
"I always think of her! I always think of other things to survive! But I never think of myself. Is it bad to forget for a little while? Lelouch, am I bad person?"
"No." Lelouch shakes his head. "I mean, lately she seemed thinner, I thought she's just sick."
"I see. Okay, last question. What were you doing in her room? Why were you in her apartment leading for you to find her unconscious?"
"I was bringing her pizza. I was getting concerned with her health, so I thought I could give her something to eat."
"And you have a key to her apartment?"
Lelouch shakes his head again. "No. The door was unlocked when I get there."
"Aside from the unlocked door, did you find any sign of forced entry?"
"I don't know what her apartment looks like in the inside so I can't tell if something was amiss, but when I got there, it was pretty much in order."
Scribbles.
The officer reads his notes before holding out a hand to Lelouch. Standing up, they shake hands. "Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Lamperouge. We will communicate with you as soon as the investigation is done. I am hoping that everything will be fine."
"Thank you."
"Relative of Ms. C.C.?"
Officer Gottwald gives him a polite nod before he turns around to face the doctor.
"I'm the one who brought her here. The family is on their way."
"I'm sorry, but only - "
"I am her friend. And if you wait for the family to arrive, it would take another hour." Ah, he is lying now. He just needs to know what happened to her. "Please just tell me, so I can prepare them for the news."
The doctor stares at him thoughtfully which makes Lelouch's heart beats so fast.
Please.
Please.
Please.
A defeated sigh. "I'm sorry but the patient didn't make it. There was too much drug in her system. We tried everything we can, but it was a strong drug and with the great amount that flowed in her veins, only a miracle could have saved her."
Only a miracle could have saved her.
Lelouch closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Can..." He clears his throat. "Can I see her?"
"Yes. Follow me."
It is the white blanket which drapes over her body that Lelouch sees first.
White again.
White walls, white bed, white curtain, white light.
He needs to see a different color, a vibrant one or else he might pass out.
Green.
He stops on his tracks and stares at the new hue that finally appears before his eyes. Green, emerald, lime.
How many times have he seen this? A lot, but he had never touched it. Taking a step forward, his head suddenly feels lighter as if he is entering a different dimension, as if what he is seeing is just an illusion.
When he finally reaches her, the first thing he thought upon seeing her closed eyes was he had never seen her sleep. Never in their two years of being neighbors had he ever seen her sleep. Well, given that they were not really that close with each other aside from the occasional deep talks with her, it was understandable.
But what catches the man off guard is how peaceful and tranquil she looks. How this stranger of an expression perfectly fits her face. How her true beauty shows without all the heavy make-up and the perpetual contempt in her eyes. How, finally, finally, she looks happy.
"Hey."
He waits for her to respond but of course there is nothing. Her lips remain closed.
He looks up to prevent the tears from leaking out of his eyes. Ah, he can't believe this. He is going to cry for someone he had barely talked to.
Barely. Elaborate barely.
He thinks of their last conversation that afternoon.
"I would have loved you."
Lelouch looked up from his phone and glanced at his companion. He found her leaning against the railing, her hands clasped together and her head tilted up.
"In another universe, in another lifetime, where the circumstances are different, I think I would have fallen inlove with you."
Well... How could he respond to something as romantic as that?
"Oh," he uttered dumbly.
C.C. laughed. It was a sad laugh. "But we are living in this world right now and being handed this kind of situation. You're a good man, Lelouch. For now, I can entrust you with my daughter."
"Why? Where are you going?"
"Nowhere. Everywhere." She sighs. "What I am trying to say is you're the only person that I trust aside from my mother right now."
"Even though we barely talk with each other?"
"What did I tell you before? Silence tells the most stories. You just have to listen to it."
Silence.
Now, she will be silent forever. There will not be another chance to talk to her about the life in the city. No more chance to listen to her gush about her daughter. He won't be able to listen to her soft voice again. Yet her stories will remain with him forever. Stories that only he had the honor to know.
"I would have, too, C.C... Thank you."
Exactly at the same time that he leaves the room is her mother and daughter's arrival. Old golden eyes seek for his assurance but immediately break after seeing him shake his head.
"Uncle Lelouch!"
"Hey there, kiddo."
"Are you here to see Mommy, too?"
Lelouch glances at the older woman who is trying her best not to cry. Turning to the child in her arms, he plasters a smile. "Why don't you accompany me for a while. Grandma will just see someone. Is that okay?"
"Okay."
He gets the girl and after a soft 'thank you' from the woman, carries her to a nearby chair.
"Who is grandma meeting?" the girl innocently asks as she plays with his necktie.
"Someone very important."
"Can I see, Mommy? Grandma said we are going to see her although it's not yet Saturday."
"Mommy is..." Lelouch closes his eyes. How can he tell her? How can he explain to her wide innocent, expecting golden eyes that the mother she deeply adores is not coming back? Is it even right that he would be the one to break the news to her young mind?
Help him, C.C.
Opening his eyes, he says, "Mommy goes away for a while."
"Where did she go? When is she coming back? She promised that we will play with my new barbie."
Ah, shit, he is going to cry. You're such a cruel neighbor, C.C.
"She will be gone for a long time. Up there. With grandpa." They both look up to the ceiling of the corridor as if they can actually see her looking down at them.
The child furrows her eyebrows. "You mean she's an angel now, too? Mommy said that grandpa is an angel and he is in Heaven. So Mommy is in Heaven, too?"
"That's right. She's an angel."
The girl shrugs and leans her head on his chest. "I am sad, Uncle Lelouch. Grandpa has been gone for so long. I hope Mommy will come back soon."
"Uncle is sad, too. But your mom is not really gone. You see, angels do not leave their loved ones behind. They are actually always there, looking after them. You may not see her, but she is here. And everywhere you go, she will be there. Remember that. Mommy loved you the most in the world."
"I love her the most, too."
After some moments, the girl falls asleep. It's almost midnight after all. Mrs. Corabelle hasn't come back and Lelouch worries if she is okay. He should have accompanied her inside but thought that she needed a private moment with her only daughter.
Lelouch looks up, his mind is a chaos of noise. He looks up and tries to find the green on the white ceiling but there is none. An impossibility.
It is silent in the corridor. Lelouch closes his eyes and listens to the silence.