Track #17: Iris
Goo Goo Dolls
Sometimes, everything would suddenly break down and you will be left under the shambles without knowing the reason why.
Sometimes, when you're simply lying on bed waiting for sleep to arrive, a tear would fall from your eyes and you'd become lonely for the whole night.
Sometimes, while you're in a train, standing by the closed doors, you'll look up in the sky and ask why, why, why am I here? What should I do from here? Am I doing the right things in order to live or am I just merely existing? Your lips will tremble. Your eyes sting. But you'll take a deep breath, clench your fists, bite your lower lip while you gaze at the moon to prevent your tears from falling.
And you'll think, I can't, I can't, I can't cry right now and have every passenger look at me weirdly. I can't bear to see them whisper with each other with those worried and confused eyes. I don't want someone to pat my back. I don't want to be in contact with someone. I cannot cry until I am in the safety of my sanctuary.
Where no one could see me. Judge me.
Because it is only I who could understand.
Because no one cries without any reason.
No one cries without being melancholy or happy.
Or so they say.
But you do.
Some of us do.
The girl on the third aisle with the charmed bracelet do.
The grandpa reading the newspaper do, particularly before going to sleep.
The tired honor student do.
Before they go to work, your bosses do.
I do.
But it's okay.
Let your tears fall freely.
Let them wet your cheeks and traverse your lips.
Taste the salt.
Feel the tremble in your chest.
Because sometimes, our bodies get tired.
Of joy.
Of success.
Of worries.
Of anger.
Of being powerless against your destiny.
Of accepting what little the world has to offer you.
Of wondering why you're stuck in that place.
Of being with other people.
Of your friends.
Of your dreams.
Getting tired of being a human.
You wouldn't want to get out of bed.
You couldn't find joy in the things that you've loved before.
You couldn't keep a conversation with a friend you've known for so long.
Limbs heavy. Legs numb. Lips sealed.
Walking becomes a chore and breathing turns to a task.
So rest.
It's okay to rest.
Do not rush.
Take time to heal and care for yourself.
Smell the flowers growing by the road.
Follow the dragonfly around the park.
Look at the stars until you became one.
Until you became part of a constellation guiding other lost souls.
And you'll find a reason to wash away your tears.
Cry now and later you will fly.
And when the passengers in the train see you up in the sky they will wonder, eyes wide, mouths hanging open, where have your burdens gone that you became so light and bright?
You are alive so you can cry.
Until your tears turn to smile.
(Lelouch's letter to C.C. placed anonymously in her locker after he saw her crying alone in the library for the third time.)
These are not the best words but this is also to everyone who feels burdened right now. I hope you'll find your smile again.