A/N:
I've made many attempts over the years to write this story. In part, the reason for it is therapeutic, a way to bring the happy ending I desire to the characters I love, and in part, it's a desire to flesh out and continue the stories I've read and fallen in love with in that time. One author in particular has been extremely influential in making me finally make a (moreso than the previous) attempt at finishing this project. Celticknotgirl, or Kat, a Deviantart author who was my first introduction into the often emotionally chaotic world of Mass Effect fanfiction, and who also ended up being my favorite author. A master of the heartstrings, even today nearly a decade later her short stories and one-shots still bring me to tears with every re-read. Sadly Kat passed away in a tragic accident in 2012, and though I didn't know her, I feel the loss of a person who despite that fact, meant much to me. This story is, in part, in honour of her. She showed me for the first time a world "beyond the Reapers" that I found both enthralling (no pun intended) yet supremely believable. Someone who, like me, could find a story in slices of life rather than grand adventures, for what greater adventure than simply living is there, really?
With that in mind, this will be a purely fluff fic. While there will be some hardship, you can expect happy endings all around. And while there will be drama, it will be supremely normal. These characters have suffered enough, and a happy ending once and for all is well deserved. Given that, if you're looking for epic battles, military tactics or Council politicking, this one might not be for you. There will be some dark themes early on, some healing, angst and PTSD, but overall this is the happy ending my girls deserved. If you do decide to proceed, I hope you enjoy Marriage, Old Age and a Lot of Little Blue Children.
Chapter 1 – The End of the Beginning
Sarah Shepard was no stranger to staring death in the face. Hell, she'd even played this game and lost once already, the miracle of being gifted the chance at a re-match notwithstanding. Yet, as she stood facing the three brighly glowing conduits, the eyes of the perverse child-avatar of the greatest enemy to sapient kind burning her neck, she couldn't remember ever feeling more exposed, more alone. Even those last depserate moments in the skies over Alchera so long ago, her body burning as her suits stimpacks desperately tried to keep her alive and by so doing making sure she'd remain awake for every excruciating moment of it didn't compare. This was a different kind of dread, a different kind of abyss, impossibly greater and more daunting than something so trivial as her own impending death. Because as hard as this decision was, her own demise didn't factor into it. In her heart she'd somehow without even realizing it made peace with that part, she'd die here, and there would be no do-overs this time around. As surprising as that realization was, the lack of fear was even more so. She wasn't afraid, she felt only a profound sadness. She'd never see her friends again, she'd never see her mother again. Hannah Shepard was a strong woman, the stronest Sarah had ever known, but she would put her through the pain of losing her only child, her only family, for a second time, a miracle cruelly snatched from her hands and if Sarah was honest with herself she wasn't sure if it wouldn't completely break her this time. 'If she's even alive...' . She'd never see Liara gain. '… Liara'. Sarah shook her head, the darkness was creeping back into the corners of her eyes. She had to make a decision, because while she would die here, she'd make damn sure that all of them would live. It would have to be without her, but they would live.
One option was clearly out. Controlling the Reapers was impossible, no matter what the child-abominitation said, Jack Harper had proved that much, enough for her to not even entertain the possibility. Besides, in terms of existential dread the thought of controlling a race of ancient machines as some sort of cybernetic godess was, if anything, more terrifying than simply dying. She might be able to do it in the short term, retain her humanity long enough to rebuild the galaxy and retreat with her new minions to the great black beyond the galaxy. But eventually she'd lose herself, eventually she'd forget. And she would be the new Catalyst, and it would all start all over again. That was unacceptable. Forcing all sentient life to change was better, but not by much. It felt like a supreme violation of autonomy. And if you change people so profoundly, would they even be the same people as before? Wouldn't doing that essentially kill every single individual and replace them with... something else? The wonderful, diverse melting pot that was the galactic community would become a dreary uniform mass, stagnant forever. No, no, if she did that the Reapers would well and truly have won, as evidenced by the fact that the... thing obviously wanted her to make that particular decision. It wasn't even trying to be subtle about it. 'Then again' she thought 'subtelty has never really been the sharpest spear in the Reaper arsenal'. That left the option to simply destroy them all. Appealing for obvious reasons, but the collateral damage would be intense. She thought of Legion, who had given his life for his people. How could she just... kill them all? How could she decide that their deaths were worth the lives of the rest of the galaxy? Garrus would say that the math made sense, and of course it did, but that didn't make it right. She thought of EDI. Her friend EDI. If she did this, it would be as good as pressing her Phalanx to EDIs temple and pulling the trigger.
"Your time is at an end. You must decide." the abomination said from behind her.
She shook her head again, more violently this time, her head and neck muscles screaming. There was no other choice, it had to end. She'd take her chances that she could atone for her sins in hell, but it had to be done.
She set her jaw tightly and turned around "Fuck you" she said, then turned back and hobbled with determination towards the red conduit, emptying her clip into. The faces of her friends, her family, flashed before her eyes, the pained face of Anderson as he drew his last breath, her mothers tear stained face when she came back from the dead, a pair of deep azure eyes filled with love. 'Please forgive me, I love you... '
The casing cracked and the flames engulfed her, the bright light and searing pain lasting for only a moment, and Sarah Shepard was plunged into unfeeling darkness.
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau was not a nimble man. On two feet he often felt like an imp from some old Earth story book, hobbling along the walkways at a snails pace hissing at the humans who dared to get too close. Ever since he was a child he'd felt like he was just in the way, and not rarely like a burden to those around him. But in the pilots seat of a ship, he was an artist, and to the great chagrin of those who served with him he was fully aware of it, and none to shy about boasting about it either. But now, as his fingers danced across the haptic screens at near inhuman speeds, he didn't feel much like bragging, and a primal fear kept nagging at the deep recesses of his mind. He'd never been in a fight like this, never faced this kind of a challenge, and every second he felt the end drawing closer, that pivotal point where his human brain simply couldn't keep up. He wanted to run. He clamped the flight response down hard as he swerved then Normandy around another Reaper capital ship and punched in another set of evasive maneuvers when the fleetwide comm channel cracked to life.
"All fleets, the Crucible is armed." even in with his command voice in full use, Admiral Stephen Hacket sounded exhaused "Break off and head for the randevouze point. I repeat, break off and get the hell out of here."
He felt more than saw Garrus and Ashley move up behind him. When the turian gently placed a talon on his shouler he shrugged it off angrily, but then just felt defeated. He could see what was unmistakeably asari blood on the bulky armor. 'I can't do this. Not again...'
"Joker..." Garrus flanged voice was somber, the subvocals tainted by a deep sadness "We have to go."
Joker chewed his lip, before a sudden outburst made him hit the haptic interface. "Damnit!" a sob escaped him "...damnit." He sat still and silently for a moment, trusting EDI to handle the flying for a moment. Wiping at his eyes furiously, he turned to Garrus. "I'm not leaving the system, Garrus. We're not leaving her behind."
"Jeff, we-" Garrus paused, eyes falling to the floor "we have to. She'd want us to go."
"Of course she'd want us to go!" Joker shouted "That's why we can't, don't you get it. I left her once already.". He took a deep breath. "We'll shelter behind the star, whatever that thing does, a giant nuclear furnace should be able to shield us from it... some of it, anyway."
Garrus was quiet for a moment as he thought it over. "Ok. Yeah. To hell with it. Do it. Never was much good at following orders anyway"
The flight to the sun was, even in galactic terms, just a short stroll. And with the enhanced FTL drive at maximum burn, the trip took under a minute. Sam had notified him of the large energy spike the sensors had detected just after they jumped out, and they had less than 7 minutes before whatever it was reached their current location.
"That's as safe as we're gonna get" he said, turning to Garrus "You better tell the crew to batten down the hatches. EDI," he turned to his girlfriend in the co-pilots seat "power yourself down, and detach from the grid, whatever that thing is it's gonna wreak havoc on our systems if it hits."
Uncharacteristically, EDI seemed to hesitate. "Please EDI. I need you to be safe... whatever safe is right now."
"Very well, Jeff." she said "Please take equal measures to preserve cintinued functionality."
He smirked despite himself "Always do, when I'm not being used as bait." EDI, again uncharacteristically, returned the smile, then her body went limp.
He checked his readouts. 2 minutes to go. He turned towards Garrus and Ashley. "Better strap in guys. Whatever it is, it's gonne get bumpy, we'd better tell the crew the same thing"
When he saw his comrades strapped in securely, he flicked on the shipwide announcement system. "All hands." he said stoically "Brace! Brace! Brace!"
'Times like these I kinda wish I was religious, we could sure use some intervention right about now' he thought, as he saw the corona of the star before him expand in a bright red halo.
"Liara, lie still!" Dr. Karin Chakwas was at the end of her rope. The comparatively young woman before her was utterly inconsolable. Some of it was obviously shock from her injuries, but mostly Karin thought it was sorrow and despair.
"I have to go back, please, let me go back." Liara sobbed as she lay strapped down in the patient crash harness on the medbed "I can't leave her. I can't, Karin, not again."
"Liara, listen to me. You're badly wounded, she wanted you safe and away from harm, so Let. Me. Help. You." she said, puncuating each syllable.
"Please..." her sobs ebbed to a whimper "not again."
Karins heart ached "Shh, shh," she said, stroking Liaras crest soothingly "it's going to be alright.". Though she didn't quite believe that herself. "We need to get your heart rate and blood pressure down, and I'll need to operate once we're out of immediate danger, you've a lot of shrapnel in your body. I'll have to sedate you, alright? I won't go anywhere. You won't be alone. You're safe..." she hesitated "I promise"
Liara whimpered again, but nodded stiffly. Karin punched the buttons in the IV dispenser, and in seconds, Liara stopped squirming in her harness and went limp. 'You better come back from this, Shepard' she thought somberly. She laid down her instruments and was just about to get to work when the shipwide comm came to life.
"All hands." Jeffs voice sounded detached and foreign, so unlike his usual self. "Brace! Brace! Brace!"
'Shit!' she scrambled to secure all the equipment and then threw herself into the medbay crash seat and strapped in. No sooner had she fixed the final buckle before the Normandy shook violently. The warning klaxons blared and the lighting shifted from combat stations yellow to alert red before flickering and going out completely. She felt the pit of her stomach rise as the gravity net under her feet follow suit a moment later, and the medbay was plunged into weightless, dark silence. 'Well then... isn't that just peachy.'
Officer Anna Summers spat a black glob of saliva and ash unto the rubble strewn floor and poked the lifeless husk with the tip of her boot. The feeling of euphoria and elation of only half a day previously had slowly given way to a deep melancholy. There was cause for celebration of course, the Reapers were dead. They'd won. And, perhaps most shocking of all, a fair few of the people on the Citadel itself had held out until the end. She'd been ambilavent about the militia initiative at first, but they'd certainly made all the difference. Even more surprising was that the station had somehow not fallen out of the sky and crashed into the Earth below after it was halfway blown up as, she now knew, the proverbial bullet that ended the war. Every system had been fried though, and it had taken them most of the day just to get local comms back up, a few hours more before they were able to contact what was left of the invasion force down on the surface. The fleet had started to make an appearance, a few ships limping home on reserve power kept coming in every hour, but if their systems had suffered the same burnouts as the station it might be a while yet before they were all back, she reasoned. The devistation was immense, however. And the more ground they covered, the more bodies they located and tagged for pickup, the less jubilant she felt. The presidium was the worst hit by far, even Tayseri ward, blown clean off the station itself and floating dead a few hundred clicks away had been in better condition, albeit without power and gravity. The emerency systems were still functioning for reasons even the engineers couldn't explain, and even up here the gaping holes into space, while irking, were still held shut by emergency force fields. So far though the center of galactic government hadn't turned up a single survivor, and both she and her team were slowly losing hope that they ever would.
"What's the point of this anyway" her turian collegue asked from just behind her to the right "It's obvious that this place is a ghost town. It was the first place to be evacuated... Spirits, I don't even know where all these bodies came from".
"Earth" Anna answered. "The Reapers were bringing bodies up from the ground. No idea why, though..."
"Nothing good, you can count on that."
"Amen."
"What?"
"Nevermind." she tapped her earpiece "T'Vanna, anything over in grid 10?"
"Nothing." the young asari replied a moment later, there was some static on the link 'Still a lot of blown out signal repeaters then.' "Lots of bodies though, all human... I don't get it."
"Don't worry about it." Anna sighed. "The Cap is calling it for the day until we can get reinforcements from the ground. Lets check ut the Tower and then call it quits, this place is making me depressed."
"A phyrric victory, I think is the term your people uses?" Casia said from her right.
"Oh yeah, our specialty. Last one alive wins." she replied, making the turian woman chuckle.
The Citadel Tower was completely gone, and in its place was just a large pile of rubble. There were no visible bodies here though, which surprised Anna. She climbed up on the small mountain and began poking through the rubble. She was about to call her team and suggest they head back when she saw it. A hand, bloodied and distorted, but unmistakeably a five fingered hand, sticking out of the rubble. A part of her clamped down her enthusiam, they'd seen thousands of bodies up here, and there was no reason to believe that this would be any different, but some intutition told her that this would be different.
"Found someone up here!" she shouted down to Casia "Would you tell T'Vanna to send the medic up here ASAP?"
"Affirmative." the turian replied and tapped her earpiece, speaking into it urgently.
Joe Alvarez, the team medic, came crawling up the pile a few minutes later. "You know you can tag these poor bastards as well as I can, right?" he grumbled, a bit out of breath.
Anna rolled her eyes "They're buried, I didn't wanna start poking around without a medic around, in case they're not dead."
Joe huffed, but nodded. They started helping to dig out the body slowly, careful to jostle it as little as possible as they did so. It was a human woman, she discovered as more of the body became visible. Then she yelped and scrambled backwards as the woman, impossibly, took a rasping, tortured breath, her chest unmistakably rising and falling. "Jesus Christ! Joe!" she shouted. The man in question just sat there on his knees, gaping for a moment before scrambling forward to take scans.
Joe scanned the womans body, it was bad, the word 'mince meat' came to mind, and despite all he'd seen he had to fight back a wave of nausea. Anna, able to little else but a visual assesment, looked the woman over, her eyes being drawn to something on the breastplate, her breath caught. An N7 logo, charred and distorted, but unmistakeable.
"Joe..." her voice wavered.
"I know" he said, jaw set "I see it."
"Do you think it's... her?"
A huffed "Hard to tell right now, ain't it?" he stared down at his omnitoolm readings "This is... how?" he said, disbelieving. "She shouldn't be alive.. everything's broken, and I mean everything."
"Well she is!" Anna snapped. "The fuck do we do?"
"I..." Joe hesitated "Ok. Lets get the rubble off of her and onto a stretcher, we need evac though, there's no way she can take being carried down to HQ in this condition. She needs a hospital." he frowned "Do we have shuttles to the surface yet? Huerta's fucked."
"I don't know..." Anna said, tapping her earpice "Captain Bailey, do you read?"
She held her breath as she waited for a reply, it seemed to drag on for an age before the reply broke the static. "Summers? That you?" Armando Baileys gruff voice asked
"Yeah Cap." she replied "We, err, have a situation up here."
When she didn't continue he snapped in irritation "Well, out with it then!"
"We have a survivor from the presidium we..." she paused "We think it might be Shepard."
The line was silent for a moment. "You're sure?" he finally asked.
"Well, no. She's bad, Cap. It's hard to make an ID. N7 armor, though. We need an evac shuttle, Alvarez says moving her by foot is gonna kill her."
"We've got a few working ones, engineers finally got replacement parts for the electricals from some storage room." Bailey replied. "Send me the coordinates."
Anna tapped her omnitool.
"Recieved." Bailey replied. "Do what you can and wait for the ride. ETA 4 minutes."
"Roger, Summers out."
Anna helped Joe to carefully place the injured woman on the expandable stretcher and securing her. When the shuttle left a few minutes later after a swift handoff, the feeling of joy slowly started to creep back into her heart.
"Joker," Tali called over the comms from the engine room. "we're ready to power up down here."
She glanced over to Ken and Gabby, both looking a little green after their injections. The shields going down had caused the inside of the ship to be saturated in radiation from the star outside, and while not life threatening, Dr. Chakwas had insisted that innculations were needed to keep it that way. As for her, this was one of those times when livin your life in a suit had its perks. Built in radiation protection.
"We are ready, right?" she asked Gabby
She nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah, drive core's primed. We got the backup systems running well enough with the same parts, so I don't think it's gonna be a problem. Fingers crossed, though."
"What?"
When no answer was forthcoming, she tried Joker again. They hadn't been able to power EDI back up yet, and the pilot had been distacted.
"Yeah." he finally replied "Lets get her going."
She punched in a few commands, and the blue glow started in the middle of the core and slowly spread as the reaction started back up. The comforting hum reverberating though the deck plates.
"Core at 75% and holding." Gabby reported "Dunno if we'll get her over that right now, I don't wanna risk it with a jerry-rigged transfer system."
"Agreed" Tali replied, tapping the comms again "Joker, core's stable at 75, we should be able to do half speed."
"Got it." he paused "So, do you think you could-"
Tali chuckled "Yes, Joker, I'll go fix your girlfriend. Don't worry."
"I just don't want her to sit trapped in that damn box longer than she has to." he huffed and cut the connection.
Still chuckling, she made her way out of engineering. "Make sure to get some rest, guys" she told her two fellow engineers. "You both look ready to topple over."
"Aye." Ken replied weakly. "Not sure what the doc put in that shot, but I feel like my insides are boiling."
When Tali got to the medbay, she found Liara sitting up in her bed looking entirely worse for wear. Alert, but quiet and sullen. She looked up when she heard the door open.
"Any news?"
"No, I'm sorry Liara." Tali replied "No comms traffic yet. We're sitting behind a star and only have short-range working though, so that's to be expected. We've got the drive core up and running, so we should be back at Earth within the hour." she gently placed a three fingered hand on her friends knee. "We'll know something soon. I promise."
Liara nodded. She tried to smile though it didn't reach her eyes, Tali noted. "Fixing EDI?" she asked, nodding at the toolbox in the quarian womans hands.
"Yeah." she chuckled. "If I don't Joker might crash the ship."
As it turned out, the AI core was near untouched, and all she had to do was switch out the burned power relays. With the drive core back up, powering up the core was a simple matter once everything was hooked up again. She reasoned that the repaers might actually do something similar, but without organics to plug them back in again, they would just sit in their boxes until someone towed their lifeless bodies into the nearest black hole. The mental image gave her a lot of satisfaction as she tapped the final commands to start the boot sequence. The core relays began to hum, and the cooling fans began turning in earnest. After a moment, the familiar blue avatar popped up before her.
"Morning EDI," she said with a smile.
"Hello, Tali." EDI replied. "Excuse while I let Jeff know of my return." she winked out.
Tali thought she could hear the celebratory whoop on the bridge even thorugh the deck plating.
The devestation on and around Earth was mind boggling. But even as the dead husks of starships drifting by outside caused pain, the equally dead forms of Reapers gave cause for hope. Garrus and Ashley were currnent speaking with Admiral Hacket, whos ship had returned to Earth orbit around the same time as they themselves had. The man seemed dazed, as if he couldn't quite believe that they'd done it. That it was finally over. That is how Liara found them when she limped unto the bridge.
Hacket was speaking about damage to the relay network, but she would not be disuaded and promptly jumped in. "Admiral, is there any news of Shepard?"
Hackets eyes moved to her. "I didn't want to give you false hopes, the reports are still unconfir-"
"Sir," she interupted him again, and the fact that he didn't show so much as a frown was a testament to just how dazed the man really was. "Please. Just... if you know anything."
Hacket was silent for a moment, then spoke. "Rescue teams did recover a survivor from the base of the Citadel Tower, a woman wearing Alliance N7 armor, but her identity has yet to be confirmed."
Despite telling herself not to get her hopes up, a wave of relief and happiness flooded Liaras heart. 'Who else could it be?' A sob esaped her and she clapped a hand over her mouth and sagged against the bulkhead.
"Do you have a location, sir?" Ashley asked, noticing that Liara was in no condition to speak, if the tears now streaming down her cheeks were any indication.
"St. Dennis Hospital in Kent." Hacket replied. "It was largely spared destruction, my report is that she's in critical condition, but stable. If it is Shepard she... just pulled off the impossible."
Liara, having recovered herself enough to speak called Hackets attention once again. "Admiral, I don't know her personally but I'm sure Sarah will wish to know..."
"The SSV Orizoba was destroyed in the fighting." Hacket replied, understanding her meaning. "But Rear Admiral Shepard made it out with most of the crew. I have yet to speak with her however, communications with the surface are spotty."
He seemed to straighten himself before continuing. "You've all done one hell of a job. Get down there, if it is her, she's more than deserved an honour guard once she wakes up. Not that it really matters right now, but I'm placing the Normandy on detached duty until further notice. Go see your Commander." he saluted, then broke the connection, missing Liara breaking out in renewed sobs.
'Escaped destruction' was, perhaps, a bit of an overstatement Liara concluded as she looked upon the building in front of the landing pad. It was still standing, certainly, but that was about all that could be said for it. There were lots of people around though, so perhaps the inside was more functional than the exterior would let on. She limped towards the front entrance, the crew who had opted to go down to the surface at her back. Her previous suspicion proved correct, as inside the main lobby the floors were reasinably clean, and working monitors were set up behind a makeshift reception desk She approached it and called the attention of the woman seated behind the terminal.
"Excuse me?"
The woman looked up. "Yes? How may I help you, do you require medical attention?" she asked, glancing down at Liaras leg.
"No, I'm looking for someone. Commander Sarah Shepard, Alliance Navy?"
The womans eyes widened and she shushed her urgently. "What's the relation." she asked in just above a whisper.
"I, well, we're, that is to say-" Liara fumbled, a blue blush creeping unto her cheeks.
The womans eyes softened. "It's alright. I understand. The commander is here, we were able to confirm her identity through DNA scan once the computer system was back online. She's still being treated however, but-" she held up a hand when Liara moved to interrupt. "she's stable for now. If you wish, you may wait outside her room. You should be able to see her in a few hours." she called up some information on her terminal, then printed a small plastic card from a little printer on the side. "5th floor, corridor on the right. There is a marine guard detachment who will be able to direct you, this card will grant you access." she finished, pushing the card over to Liara on the counter.
"Thank you." Liara said, taking the card gingerly.
The wait was long. Some of her crewmates nodded off in their chairs, but as for Liara herself, sleep was the last thing on her mind. Sarah was alive, and she was elated by that fact, but she still didn't know how bad it was. Would she be cripled? Would she be the same once she woke up? Would she wake up at all? This inner turmoil put her on edge, so when the salarian doctor finally came to let them know they could go in to see Shepard, she jumped a foot in the air from her seat.
"On at a time only" the doctor said in the clipped tones typical of his race. "Patient must not be crowded. Even in comatose state overstimulation hazardous."
Liara wrung her hands nervously and looked to the others.
Garrus scoffed. "Like anyone else is going first."
Ashley chuckled. "Yeah go on doc. I was just getting comfy anyway." she said, sitting back down.
Liara nodded gratefully and limped over to the door and entered the room. The sight made her utter a small whimper, and freash tears formed in her eyes. 'Oh Sarah...' Sarah was hardly recognizeable, and the tubes, lines and machines she was hooked up to made her seem incredibly small. She wasn't a large woman, quite the contrary, she was actually shorter than Liara was by 10 centimeters where humans, even the females, were usually bulkier than the average asari. Her small stature had actually served her well in combat, but now it made her look impossibly tiny and fragile. Her skin was burnt, cut and bruised, and her fiery red hair, normally neatly piled in a regulation bun or pulled back in a tight ponytail when she was feeling lazy, was singed in places and what remained of it looked gray and matted.
Liara moved over to the bed and sat in the chair placed there. She looked at Sarah through her tears for a moment, then very carefully placed her lithe hand in hers. Liara bent forward and placed a soft kiss on the singed palm. She was broken, but she was warm and alive, and for now that would do.