He's holding me, I didn't hear him enter. All I know is that his hands are preventing me from losing the balance I have left.

*Trigger Warning: eating disorders*

Many people with an eating disorder hide their symptoms, most likely because they are afraid someone will make them stop.

Jack rushed to open the cabin door and ran straight to the bathroom to see if Rose was okay. He kneeled beside her and moved her hair out of the way as she finished emptying her stomach.

"Hey! Hey... it's okay, i'm here, i got you..."

He lovingly caressed her back, trying his best to give her the strength that she desperately needed. Rose finished and was urgent to wash her mouth, the oldest helped her up and didn't take his arms off of her.

"You're burning up" He said at the touch of her skin

Rose sighed, her hands covered her face in an attempt to hide her truth, could she tell him? No... he would care and stress about it. He has enough things to worry about... I don't want to be a burden... I'm his lover, I'm supposed to make him happy, not worried, Rose thought.

"Something... didn't sit well with my stomach"

"Do you feel better after vomiting?"

"I do"

"Alright... let's sit down for a little while yeah?" Jack said, with a protective arm around her and holding hands he guided her to his bed. Rose felt guilty, if only he knew what she had done to her body the last month, the words she used when she looked at her reflection in the mirror. He had it easier, Rose thought, he was born thin, Jack's metabolism was fast and allowed him to keep his body that way. What she didn't know was that he had been trying so hard to gain weight or muscle... they wanted what the other one had, it wasn't fair.

Jack had his own way of thinking, very artsy of him, as always. He believed his body was a plain canvas. It was a gift. Sure, his legs were a little thin, but they allowed him to travel where he wanted to; his eyes didn't work that well at night, but they allowed him to capture the beauty of his surroundings; and not to mention his hands, his instrument, his everything, the ones that put everything on the paper.

Maybe he could make Rose change her mind?

"Maybe it has something to do with stress"

Rose's eyes lit up "Yes, it must be the stress... or the flu, my throat has been hurting for a couple of days now"

Rose was confused, she didn't want to throw up but she did anyway. She felt the food coming up her throat... the occasional burning wasn't occasional anymore. This horrible reflux had arrived and was here to stay.

Why do I still have that ringtone? Rose's phone made itself present, she didn't miss it one bit when they were at sea.

"Hey Rose... how are you?"

Since when does he ask?

"Hi um... fine I guess?"

"Good, good... I just wanted to know... if you would like to go out Thursday night"

Jack pretended he didn't know who was on the other side of the line, but Rose's eyes and tone gave it away.

Again, since when does he ask?

"It's just that... I know you're at the RMS... and you're probably going to sleep there, and I won't see you until tomorrow afternoon... because every time you sleep there you don't arrive until much later the next day and ... I wanted to talk to you before New Year's Eve"

"Cal... are you feeling alright?"

And since when does she ask?

"I'm fine... thank you for asking. I just... I haven't actually talked to you in a long time. We're always fighting"

"I'm going to the pool" Jack announced

A little bit of jealousy didn't hurt anybody, right?

"I should probably leave you to... hang out with your friends... see you tomorrow Rose, thank you for answering the phone"

"Yeah... I'm here if you need anything" She couldn't help but answer.

Jack knew she would follow him eventually, so he had the precaution to take two towels with him, and another shirt, just in case. The day was sunny, a perfect day to go swimming.

"A warm winter" Rose broke the silence

"A chance we might never get again"

Jack took off his shirt without hesitation, revealing the abs he had recently worked on, Rose's eyes took in the view slowly and pleasantly. Both sat at the edge of the pool with their feet on the water, there weren't that many people aboard since the boat was still on maintenance. Sweet privacy, what a gift.

The boy flinched as the not-so-warm water covered all his body. He opted for diving completely at once so his body would get used to the new temperature. His hands traveled from his face to his hair, getting it behind his ears and out of the way. The next expectation was for the redhead to get in the pool.

"No, I'm not going in"

"Oh come on!" He said as he showed her butterfly style how satisfying it was to wash away their troubles and sins.

"No Jack, I don't feel good" she pouted

Jack swam back to where she was "Alright, I'm sorry... do you wanna go back inside?"

"No, i think the breeze is helping"

"Hey guys! Nice day to go swimming"

"Hey Tommy"

"How you've been Rose? Jack always wants you to himself, he doesn't let us see you anymore"

"Haha I'm fine Tommy, how you've been?"

"I'm alright myself. Guess what? We're doing a workshop around a Stock Exchange simulator and got to choose our own business portfolio"

"That's cool. I thought Jack was the only one doing schoolwork on Holiday"

"They couldn't possibly dare to see us enjoy ourselves, so they had us take a workshop during the holidays. I chose your construction company. Don't let me down!"

Jack felt outcasted once again, would it be always like this? Not understanding his girlfriend's conversations?

"You okay?" She nodded

"It's the stress, come to the water with me"

"I can't swim"

"I'll hold you" I always do

"Let's get a couple of drinks, come on! They're on me"

"What do I bring you Rose?"

"I'm fine Jack, thank you"

"Come on, something sweet?"

"I told you I don't feel good"

"Alright... i'll see if I can bring you an apple, it will help with your stomach"

Tommy got in the pool and swam alongside Jack to the pool bar. It was actually at the corner of the pool; the stools were made of the same marble and the water reached up to the top. Rose remembered she hadn't taken off her ankle bracelet.

She saw her reflection in the water. Without any expectations, unintentionally even.

Is that me? It's moving like me, if I move an arm...? Woah it IS me. Why is my reflection different than the one in my mirror? I look... thinner.

Was Jack right all the time? Was I thin? Was it the mirror? My collarbones...

Rose was lost in her train of thought; she didn't realize someone passed by too close to her and bumped her straight into the pool. She had just seen Jack and Tommy in there talking and laughing, so it couldn't be the deepest part... right?

"HELP! JACK!"

No sign of him, she fought and kicked in order to stay afloat but it wasn't working, the water now covered her ears. Rose let out one last scream before disappearing under water.

"So I thought buying boxes would help"

"Tommy hold on a sec... is that Rose?"

"What?"

"Ssssht"

Jack turned around to see only her arm above the water, 45ft away from him. He cursed and dived, swimming as fast as he could and hoping to see her underwater. There she was, she was already unconscious when he arrived.

He carried her out of the pool and laid her on the floor, Tommy still screaming at the top of his lungs for the lifeguard on duty. Jack put his hand over Rose's nose to see if she was breathing, he quickly regretted it and placed his ear instead. Alarmed, he checked her pulse. Elbows straight and fingers intertwined he started chest compressions, longing in each one to see her wake up. There was not a response after 30, at this point Jack's mind already had involved everyone at heaven to help Rose. He tilted her head, pinched her nose and gave her mouth-to-mouth.

"ABOUT DAMN TIME"

He heard Tommy scream in the background. He started compressions again and she finally reacted. A decent amount of water escaped her mouth as she coughed, fighting to breath. Jack went to help her cough, the lifeguard checked her vital signs and started asking questions. Tommy was furious but Jack was just relieved, his girl was going to be alright.

"We need to take her to the infirmary, come with me"

Jack lifted Rose bridal style and carried her protectively in his arms to the infirmary, making sure to put shoes on so he wouldn't slip and cause another accident.

"You're gonna be alright" Jack kissed Rose's forehead "I'll never let you go baby, I'll always be here, right by your side. I won't let you drown"