*Trigger warning: eating disorders*
"What happened? Where is she? Is she okay?"
Molly was received with a hug of relief outside the ship's infirmary, Jack had texted her as soon as they got there. He had arrived with Rose passed out in his arms, Tommy behind them the whole time.
"She fell into the water and wouldn't wake up, she also threw up this morning and passed out twice since we got here" Molly took a step back to process this new information, Jack's eyes were chained to the floor, heavy from worry, heavy from guilt "They drew blood and said she was extremely low on glucose... they gave her a quick load of dextrose... she's connected to an IV and has been asleep since then. They said we were lucky to be on land and called for a few other doctors" Jack's nerves were wearing him out "It happened all of the sudden! I was the one who was supposed to take care of her! Somehow I think this is my fault"
"It's not your fault" Tommy interjected. He had been sitting in silence for a while now, a moral support to his best friend. "And I'm not saying it because I'm your friend, I'm saying it 'cause I know you. And I know how much you love Rose and how you take care of her. Trust me you did nothing wrong... you just saved her life"
He had indeed saved her life... twice.
"It still hurts me to see her like this..."
"Did they ask for her mother?" Molly wondered
"I told them she wasn't on board..."
"Good, it might be for the best. She doesn't need unnecessary drama"
"Mr. Dawson?" The doctor called. The three of them took a step closer.
"Yes? Is she alright?"
"She is very well taken care of. Right now she's still asleep. We are going to transfer her to a hospital on land to run a few other tests and an electrocardiogram. A psychiatrist and a nutritionist also need to evaluate her, in order to give you a correct diagnosis. We need to contact her parents."
Those dreaded words. Jack sighed at the request and allowed Molly to give them Ruth's number. He looked back at her with fear, would he see Rose again? He needed to be at her side at the hospital. He wasn't stepping back this time, despite what Ruth or Cal may say.
You did nothing wrong. You have nothing to be scared of.
The doctor went back inside and gave the trio some space.
"All of this because of the flu?"
"What flu?"
"You know, before the incident at the pool, her throat, her stomach... that's why she had a blood test done, right?"
"Jack... I don't think it's the flu"
"What else could it be? Some virus?"
"Jack, she's bulimic"
"What?"
"Of course" Molly exclaimed in frustration. "Of course! How could I be so blind?"
"You mean... she throws up on purpose?"
"She does all kinds of stuff, spends hours at the gym, avoids eating at all costs or purges like crazy. She measures every calorie she eats and I'm sure I've seen her buy laxatives at some point. How can I be so blind!"
The last sentence didn't help the bohemian. All the time, it was there in front of his eyes. And it took Molly to realize and then inform him, contrary to Tommy, who had knew it almost immediately.
Bulimia nervosa.
Those words kept ringing in the back of Rose's mind, making her unable to fall asleep. It was nearly 2 am and she wasn't even tired. Her anxiety had gotten worse since they had ordered her to not leave her cabin. Neither Cal or her mother were happy about it, scolding her for not taking care of herself and leaving her in the cabin that was connected to the main suite, despite the doctor's orders to not leave her alone at any point.
She felt bad already, but the illness and her anxiety only made her feel worse.
This must confirm what I already knew, I'm just a burden. They finally have an excuse for not talking to me. I complain a lot, they must be definitely tired of me.
Those thoughts traveled back and forth through her mind until they suddenly came into a stop, replacing all of them with one name.
Jack.
Should I text Jack? He had told her he would always be there for her, no matter the hour. What Rose didn't know, was that Jack was glued to a seat outside her hospital room all the time, and he knew perfectly what was going on. She grabbed her phone and glanced at the time. 2:04. After minutes of hesitation, she pressed send, without many hopes of an answer.
On the other side of the ship, Jack found himself scrolling through his phone, wide awake as a consequence of the recent events. Their souls were connected in that way. Call it destiny?
Rose
2:13 "U up?"
Jack 💕🙈
2:13 Hey...
Rose
2:14 Did I wake you?
Jack
2:14 No, I was scrolling through Pinterest...
2:14 Everything ok?
Rose
2:15 Idk
Jack
2:15 Wanna talk?
Rose
2:17 Idk
Jack
2:17 What's wrong?
Rose
2:18 Mother and Cal are mad w me
Jack
2:20 How do you feel?
Rose
2:20 Bad, I can't sleep and I feel weak
Jack
2:21 I'm sorry :(
2:22 Don't blame yourself for it okay?
Rose
2:22 How did you know i was...?
Jack
2:22 Bc i know you...
2:23 Are you drinking enough water?
Rose
2:23 No... i can't keep anything down...
Jack 💕🙈
2:24 You'll feel better in no time :) I promise
2:24 Want me 2 bring you Gatorade or something?
Rose
2:25 Tomorrow if you're free... knock on the door on the left
Jack
2:26 Want me 2 come over? Keep you company in isolation
Rose
2:26 It's called isolation for a reason
2:28 ...yes
Jack
2:28 😇
Rose
2:29 Thanks
Jack
2:29 My pleasure
Rose
2:30 Seriously thanks
2:30 You always make me feel better
Jack
2:30 Glad I can help :)
2:35 u still there?
2:39 Hello 👀
2:43 Sleep well, beautiful... remember it's not your fault and you're never a burden... don't blame yourself for any of it, ok? I'll see you tomorrow ❤️
Next morning at the RMS the day started off as usual, students rushing to get outside, some of them having breakfast, some of them doing yoga. In the middle of the crowd, Jack stood firmly in front of Tommy and Fabrizio and affirmed:
"Hey listen, I caught a stomach bug, and I seriously can't get out of my cabin. But don't go looking for me, it's highly contagious"
"What?"
"Oh no... you're not bunking off"
"I knew you guys would back me up, I owe you one!" Jack said as he shook both of his friends' hair
"A big one!" Tommy said as Jack ran to the elevator, heading to the other side of the ship to see Rose. In the back of his mind, he was glad Jack was going to get her.
It was 10:20 am when Jack arrived to Rose's cabin, he knocked at the door on the left just as she had instructed. On his way he had stopped at the drugstore and also picked up some flowers and a bear from the gift shop. Rose opened the door a minute later.
"Hey! You're sweating. You're warm"
Rose doesn't know that I know. In her mind, I still think it's the flu. He stepped into the cabin and looked discreetly for a way to make Rose tell him herself. For Jack, it was important that the truth came out of Rose's lips... it meant that she trusted him. How could they build a strong relationship without trust?
Jack looked for the cause of Rose's sweat inside the bathroom. She justified herself within seconds "I seriously couldn't keep the breakfast down"
"Did you order it?"
"My mom sent Cal to leave it on the floor. They said they had too much work to be taking care of me full 24 hours"
"Is that tape?"
Busted.
"Oh...yes..."
"Why would someone tape the bathroom door, Rose?"
Tape? Seriously?! Oh yeah, that fixes everything. It's not like anyone could open the door and break the tape. Or worse, it's not like she NEEDS to use the toilet inside! What's wrong with people? The doctor's orders were DO NOT leave her alone!
"Because they didn't want me to throw up again, I guess"
Same technique. Stare into her eyes and don't say anything so she spills more.
"That's it. Why are you looking at me like that?"
Damn, she could be a good actress.
"What did the doctor say? Are you taking any more medicine?"
"Um... just like... a few vitamins and something to help with my esophagus"
"What's wrong with it?"
"It's... It's damaged from when I threw up"
"How many times have you thrown up?"
"I don't know, I don't count them"
"Aprox"
"Why are you questioning me?"
"I just want to know what is happening with you! Because I love you! And I worry about you and I want to know how can I help"
"I already told you, it's just the flu"
"Uh-huh, and what vitamins are you taking?"
"They're written... somewhere..."
"How about I go to the drugstore right now and get you a B12 shot?"
"What? No"
"Works a hundred times faster than pills. If it's just the flu you'll feel perfect after one shot"
"You know I don't like needles"
"It's just a quick pinch, no big deal"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Because!"
"Because what? Don't you wanna cure yourself?"
Come on Rose, you can't keep this up much longer
"Let me take the pills and see what happens, please?"
Seriously?
"Those pills?" Jack pointed to the bathroom
"You know what? You're right. Go get the shot."
"Maybe I will"
"Good"
"Good! I'll be back."
"And I'll wait right here!"
"Good"
"Good!"
That was their second argument, that Jack could remember. That girl was stubborn, her eyes challenged Jack as he did the same. The boy exited the cabin and waited a few seconds to see if Rose would come out to stop him. Nothing. He looked through the peephole and saw her red of anger, sitting in the sofa with her arms crossed.
Fabrizio: The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell: Tommy told everyone you had diarrhea
Jack sighed at the notification, of course he had to slag me off.
Tommy
12:16 Whisht, you little meatball
Jack
12:17 It's fine, as long as they don't come looking for me
Tommy
12:18 Where r u btw
Jack
12:18 Master Suite 3B
12:18 Deck 17 💅
Fabrizio
12:19 😱😱
Jack
12:20 Wyd?
12:47 Fabri can I ask you a favor?
Fabrizio
12:47 Just finished shopping 😃
12:47 Yes!
Jack
12:48 I'll send you an audio in private
Tommy
12:48 😒😒
"Come on, let's go"
"Go where?" Rose was curled up in a ball scrolling through her phone, just the sound of the small plastic bag sent shivers down her spine.
"To the infirmary"
"Did you actually get it? Wait! No, I can't go to the infirmary"
"And why is that?" because they'll bring up the subject immediately and ask for your mom.
"Because... i don't want to, I went yesterday. It would be weird. It's embarrassing"
"Alright, don't worry, Fabrizio will do it, let's go to my cabin, shall we?"
She pouted in frustration and rushed to make another excuse. Is she seriously going to keep this any longer?
"Unless you don't have a flu, in that case you don't need this shot"
"Fine. Let's go." Rose grabbed her phone and charger in anger and led the way outside of the cabin. Jack stayed behind to grab Rose's card and hand it to her. Their way to the stern was quiet. Neither of them willing to back down and give up the attitude. Rose pretended she didn't feel numb due to so much walking, she was the most stubborn person Jack had ever met.
Sat on Jack's bed, the moment she smelled the alcohol she wanted to back down immediately, but she didn't, she couldn't.
"Don't worry I used to inject my mama all the time" Fabrizio said as he popped the air off the syringe. Jack stood at the other side of the cabin, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. Waiting to see how far she would get. He knew she was absolutely terrified on the inside, but she didn't wanna show it. "I remember her telling me, she could taste it on her mouth. It was pretty weird. She also lost a lot of weight when she was on the treatment"
Jack shot the most menacing look his way. Why would he say that!? I should have told him the whole story! Didn't Tommy do it? He caught out of the corner of his eye a smirk from Rose.
"Alright" He approached the girl in his bed. "Lay on your tummy for me please"
"Isn't it going in my arm?"
"It's too thin, we need more muscle for this"
Fabrizio was scared too. He knew his best friend would kill him if he hurt his girl, but he wasn't lying when he said he did have experience. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have accepted in the first place.
"There's nothing to be afraid of, 'brizio knows what he's doing, right?" The mentioned one nodded at the praise
Rose nodded almost imperceptibly. Jack grabbed her by the waist and guided her, then sat beside her so her head could lay on his lap. He grabbed a pillow, placed it under her head and instructed her to bite it if she needed. She turned paler when she felt the alcohol on her skin, she heard the guys mumbling things but didn't pay much attention to what they were saying. She wasn't backing off on this... or maybe she was.
"WAIT!"
It was too late. The moment she felt the needle pierce her skin she jumped startled, freaking the guys out. "Stay still! don't move! Just one quick little pinch baby and that's it... don't squeeze, squeeze my hand" The mix of pain and stress urged Rose to cry harder, her face was well hidden on the pillow, so it took the sound of her screaming a bit. "Almost done, you're doing great baby, i'm so proud of you... there you go, all done"
At last, they could breathe.
"I'll... leave you two alone..." Fabrizio excused himself, he was positive Rose hated him at the moment. Now he understood why Jack hadn't told Tommy any of this, he would've never approved the 'let's see who lasts longer' game.
Each of them had claimed a side of the bed, where they sat in the quiet. Each of them in their own world, overthinking obviously, but neither of them wanted to disrupt the temporary peace.
"Are you gonna tell me the truth?"
"Why do I have to? You already know that yourself!" Rose said between sobs.
"Because I want to hear it from you!"
"Damn it Jack! Fine! It's not a flu okay? Don't make me say those words I swear..."
He could see Rose was hurt, and judging by the way her voice was breaking, she had not taken the news very well... and she wasn't supposed to, nobody likes to accept they have a mental illness.
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have pushed you"
"Too late"
Rose laid under the sheets and turned away from Jack. He managed to grab her hand and caressed it with his thumb. They stayed quiet for hours. He could have sworn she fell asleep if it wasn't for the fact that she turned around, looking for the boy's warmth.
"How can I make it up to you?"
She hummed, it was not that easy. It had been a long day and it was only 4pm.
"I should probably go get ready for dinner"
"Want me to straighten your hair?" She nodded and got up using the strength she had left. "I'm so sorry baby, i should've asked you directly... I feel so bad right now, I'm really sorry i hurt you"
"My heart or my body?"
The boy was covered in guilt. He had let his emotions make impulsive decisions once again. It wasn't about trust anymore; it was about communication and putting pride aside for the person you love.
"Both, I'm so sorry"
"It's okay... you were right though, I couldn't keep the pills down, might as well get a shot" Jack looked at her utterly bewildered "It's one of those things where I do want to do something, but I don't have the courage to do it myself, so I let you take charge"
"So, you were in control of the situation this whole time?"
"And I made you think you were, yes"
The boy jumped out of the bed and paced around trying to swallow what had just happened. He ended up walking back to her and giving her a strong kiss of redemption.
"You are unbelievable girl"
Jack fixed his hair, tousled by the pillow, and picked up Rose's things before opening the door. She limped.
"I can't walk"
"Oh, come on! Don't be dramatic"
"No, i seriously can't" she said with a small laugh. There's nothing like a good laugh to make up after a fight.
"Come on! You're exaggerating"
"Look! I'm limping!
Jack picked her up in his arms bridal style and kissed her again.
"Is that better?"
"So much better"