Author's Note: Another thing that comes to my mind and I decided to write. This one I wrote in the present what it's a little bit different from what I usually do. So sorry if this seems weird. Still trying to find my way with the present tense lol
I'll take this author's note to let those who follow my multi chapter fic that I didn't give up, okay? I'll be back writing it. Kinda lost the inspiration for a while Just being buzzy with the current AU I've been doing with Alana on Twitter and all my inspiration is focused on it. Sorry. BTW, you can follow me on twitter /littlepaulsen I promise you I'm a cool girl (narrator's voice: she is not.)
It's been a little more than four months since they've been living in Seattle, since Harvey accepted Mike's offer to run the firm where he and Rachel have been working for the past two years since they left New York. And for Harvey the journey has been great. He and Donna are a newly married couple and although he sometimes misses the New York buzz and all the things that made him choose corporate law after his graduation, he has to admit that working on the "good side" for once is a good thing in his life.
And add to that the fact that now, he can spend more time with Donna, who also works in the firm with them. The couple is living the dream, being all lovely and domestic. Spending the regular amount of hours at the office and a really good time of hours dedicated to themselves. But even though the work hours are less than before, when it's necessary he spends a little more in the office working and sometimes Donna does the same. There's nothing uncommon or that one of them disagrees with. They have always been dedicated to work and they will always be. One of the traits that they love about each other.
Being one of the few days when Harvey needs to be a little more at the office, he takes his cell phone and dials Donna's number.
"Hey, Harvey," she responds after two rings.
"Hey, Donna," he answers her back.
"Let me guess, you need to stay at the office a little bit longer, right?" she asks.
"Yeah. I'm so sorry about it. But 6 p.m. is the only time our client apparently has an agenda to make this meeting," he knows that she won't be upset because she understands him. But he still has this feeling that he needs to explain to her. It's almost like after all the years he has not been with her -in a romantic way- is always ghosting him and making him want to spend all the time with her in a good way. It's not like he couldn't live without her or that they don't go out without each other, it's just… He always prefers to spend time with her.
"Nothing to be sorry about. I'll be waiting for you and maybe I can cook."
"Oh, no please. Don't do that!" He begs.
"Hey, I've been improving my cooking skills."
"Oh, I know. God knows I know. That's exactly why I'm saying you don't need to. Because even if you cook better it's still awful," he teases her.
In fact, Donna's skills had really improved and there's a lot of things that she cooks and tastes delicious, but there's a lot that still doesn't smell or taste good.
"I can pass by one of the shitty Thai you like here and grab some for us," he concludes
"Sounds great. See you soon. Love you,"
"Love you," he says back.
He and Donna have this thing that they always say "love you" back. It's not "Me too", it's always "love you". Harvey has this feeling that "me too" doesn't express enough. "You too, what? You love me too? I can say 'me too' to a lot of things without meaning a thing," he once said to Donna when she didn't answer him back with "love you" and since then, they never responded the other way.
Only Harvey would join the meeting. Mike is at Leo's school in a parents meeting, something like that. Harvey does not understand how this parenting thing works and all the stuff parents have to do. Even though he, for sure, wants to be a father and sometimes brings the subject with Donna. They want to enjoy a little bit more of the honeymoon phase and then start to try to have a baby of their own.
At the time of the meeting he takes his way to the conference room. In his way he steps by a very young woman that seems lost.
"Hi, can I help you?" he asks, polite.
"Hi,oh, please. I have a meeting with Harvey Specter and I should meet him in one of the rooms but I got lost with all the instructions the secretary gave me," she says like she was embarrassing herself for being lost.
"Oh, lucky you! I'm Harvey Specter and you should be," he fixes his suits and before he could finish his sentence the brunette interrupts him.
"Ophelia Lundgtion, nice to finally meet you, Mr. Specter," she introduces herself.
Harvey was not expecting a twenty year old woman and he didn't know how to show it.
"A little surprised?" she asks.
He sees a smirk on her face and a change of tone, in a flirting way and he is not liking it. In the past, he would probably be flattered by the fact that a young lady was doing it with him even when she's a client, but now he is married and he has no interest in it. The woman who's waiting for him at home owns every piece of his devotion, loyalty and fidelity.
"Yeah, but just because, considering the case, I was expecting something different. I'm misjudging it. I'm sorry," he answers. "Can we go to the conference room?" he shows her the way.
Once they are in the room, Harvey leads the meeting in the most professional way, like he always does. And the same way he is professional, he is always charming and playful. He left the corporate lawyer behind but not the way he does business. Trying to seduce the client is part of his job. And he learned in his time in Seattle that he also needs to make people trust him and be comfortable around him. So he replaced the smug way with something more funny to try to get the clients' trust.
And somehow this young lady is misinterpreting his manners. She is saying lines full of sexual innuendos and he always tries to not be rude to her at the same time he tries not to flirt back. When he feels uncomfortable enough with all of her advances, he checks his fingers and sees that he is not wearing his wedding ring. Fuck. A few hours before the meeting he was boxing, yeah, boxing in the middle of the evening. This is how their life changed. How their quality life had increased. Because of it, he took his ring off and he was in a hurry to rush to the office in time for the meeting and he totally forgot to put it back.
Once he has no wedding ring the woman can't know that he is taken. Very well taken. And would be very rude of him to say something. So he just handles the situation the best he can.
When the meeting comes to an end, he greets her and leads the woman to the elevator.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Specter," she says when they're in front of the lifts.
"There's nothing to be thankful for, Ms. Lundigton. It was a pleasure."
"I can't wait to see you in our next meeting," she says laughing and approaching him slowly.
She should press the lift button and not approach him. She should go. He is not comfortable. He needs to run away. He then takes some steps and presses the button, calling the elevator.
"So, once you're in you need to press 0," he instructs her.
"So sweet of you. Thanks again," she takes some steps.
And for his relief the doors open.
"See you next time, Ms Lundigton," he says, hoping that she takes his clue and goes always.
"Oh, please. After such a pleasurable hour together you can call me Ophelia."
She starts to walk again and with no warning, kisses him.
He stands there, freezing, not knowing what to do, but certainly not kissing the woman back. The panic lasted only a few seconds before he acted. He pulls his hands on her arms, pulling her away. He doesn't want to kiss her. He doesn't want to let this get any
"You should get going, Ms. Lundigton, for real," he says firmly.
She doesn't seem ashamed or regret what she did. She enters the lift, not saying a thing, only with a smirk
"I'll make sure that your case will be in good hands."
"What do you mean, Mr. Specter?"
"I mean that I'll talk with my partner and either you're going to another partner here or you're going to lead your case to another firm."
The doors close and he let the panic back again. The flashbacks popping in his head. Years back when he was with Paula and Donna kissed him. She kissed him while he was in a relationship. And he went home and met Paula and didn't tell her and she got mad. And every decision he made imploded and they broke up. He doesn't regret it.
Everything that happened was for a reason and brought him to this point. The point where he is happier than ever. He is married with the love of his life. The woman he always wanted and now he has the privilege to call his wife. And he could lose her.
Because that's what happens, right? When someone kisses you and you're married. And he can't bear the idea of losing her too soon. Actually, it doesn't matter if it has been only four months of marriage or hundreds of years. He could not, even if it's the slightest idea, lose her.
He needs to talk to her. He can't make the same mistake again and fear the possibility of their break up. He presses the elevator's button, impatient. He needs to talk to her in person, as soon as possible. Once in the elevator he loosens his tie, trying to get some oxygen. He is feeling like he had panic attacks and all he can do to try to control it is breath. Then he breathes, deep breaths. 1,2,3… Breathes. 1,2, 3… Breathes.
He hurries off of the elevator and takes a cab. He went to the firm with his own car, but Donna took it when she went home first. Even if the car was parked there, he wouldn't be able to drive.
He pays the driver, gets out of the car and runs to the door of his house. Their house. The house of the woman he could lose in a second. He can feel tears. He never cries. But when it comes to Donna, it's always different. He can show her his vulnerability. He can show her another side of him that anyone else never would be able to see, except their children. Probably the children they'd never have if they broke up.
He is feeling again, the sweat, the shortness of breath. The feeling of a wave of a panic attack. Again, he manages it the best he can, trying to breathe. Feeling a little bit better and in control of his moves and emotions he puts his hands on the knob, inserts the key in the keyhole and opens it.
The place is quiet and under low light. There's no smell in the air. Shit. He is the one who is supposed to take them food. There's a white light coming from the kitchen. She is there, probably taking some wine or water. And he needs to talk to her. To explain to her. And Harvey doesn't know if he can do this.
A kiss. Is it cheating? He is questioning it to himself all over the way to her. He sees her in the kitchen and enters the place. "Donna, I kissed someone," he says nervously, not letting another subject or anything else get his attention that could make him lose courage to talk.
"You what?" she asks.
She is wearing a pink silk nightdress and a robe. She is pouring herself a glass of wine but stops the moment she hears his words. First, she thinks he is joking with her but when she sees his face, Donna knows he is not. He is telling the truth.
"Harvey, come here," she steps towards him, leading to a bench in the counter. "Take a breath, Harvey. Explain it to me."
Why is she acting like that? He thinks. I just said I kissed someone and she is worried about me? I don't deserve her.
"I… The client," he starts to talk but he can't finish it. He is staring at his feet, not being able to look at her.
"Harvey, I'm not following," she is indeed confused.
"The client. It was me and her. She thought I was flirting with her somehow. I tried to show my ring but I was not wearing it because of the boxing I took earlier. And then when I led her to the lift she suddenly kissed me. I swear Donna, I didn't kiss her back. I didn't give her the signal," he starts to say with no pause. "The first thing I did after it was take a cab and come home. And I'm here, Donna. I swear. I didn't kiss her back."
Donna can see the desperation in his voice. She knows that Harvey wouldn't cheat. Even though years ago when she kissed him he called himself a cheater, he was not. She was the one who kissed her.
"I swear Donna, I didn't kiss her this time. Like when you kissed me years ago. I know I kissed you back, but with her I didn't. She kissed me, I froze for one or two seconds and then I pulled her away. I'll call Mike right now and say to him that we're going to call another lawyer for her… Or, I don't know we won't take her case."
"Harvey, calm down. Look at me," Donna says softly. "I believe in you. This situation has nothing in common with me kissing you years ago."
"It hasn't. I can assure you."
"I know, Harvey. I know!" She laughs.
"Why are you laughing?"
"Do you really think that this could make me mad?"
"I don't know, Donna. Considering what happened in the past I was confused. I know that it was different, that Paula was not the love of my life and where I was supposed to be or something like that. But I, indeed, made a mistake of not telling her when it happened. And I just…" he breathes.
"You just don't want to make the same mistake again," she completes.
"Yeah, exactly."
"You're not. And I'm fine, okay? We'll talk to Mike in the morning about it. Just relax. We're good," she calms him.
She puts her hands around his neck and starts a hug. "Where's the shitty Thay you promised me?"
"I forgot. I was so worried about coming home to talk to you that I just didn't think about anything else."
"I could be really mad at you for how another woman's kiss affected you and you didn't bring me food," she teases him.
"Donna-"
"What?" She smirks.
They kiss. A soft one. One that he really needs. To be assured that everything is okay. A kiss that once more reassures both of them how home they are to each other. They stop the kiss.
"Are you sure that you didn't kiss her back? That kissing me right now doesn't make you think about her kiss?" she teases him again.
"I can even remember how the kiss happened, even about the taste of it. I know for sure that the only kiss that I will always remember is yours. Even after the other time it was your lips that I always searched for in others and only you could kiss me and give me the feeling that there's nothing in the world but us," Harvey affirms while tucks her hair behind her right ear.
"That's a very good way to not let me be jealous if the kiss meant something."
"I thought that you didn't care about it," he is now teasing her.
"I don't, I just love to hear you professing your love for me," she smiles.
The most beautiful smile he has the privilege to know, to see and to be the one responsible for taking those smiles. Years later, he discovers that the only smiles that could ever compete with Donna's smile belong to someone, their child, their beautiful strawberry-blond Lily daughter.