The Shield and Buffy the Vampire Slayer

in a crossover FanFiction

Antwon's Fangs

by LancerFourSeven

AKA Lancer47

& AKA STFarnham

Notes:

Anyone who actually tries to use my detailed instructions on fighting technique in an actual fight is on their own. I tried to make it sound realistic, but this is fiction, not an instruction manual.

See Chapter One for Disclaimer

Chapter Three

Vic Mackey walked into his apartment, "Cassidy! You ready? Sorry I'm late hon, but we gotta run or your mom's gonna kill me!"

"Daaaaaaad, where've you been? Mom's called like four times already!"

"Yeah yeah, I'm sorry, but you know my job and all..."

"Sure dad, whatever, let's go. Mom's already left work, tonight's her night at some new gym or something, you're supposed to drop me off there instead of home. Here, I've got the directions."

It took Vic half an hour to find the place, and it didn't really look like a gym from the outside. In fact, the neighborhood didn't look all that inviting to Vic, so he escorted his daughter inside and up the stairs so he could be certain she made it safely to Corrine's side.

As they came up the stairs, they could hear a woman lecturing. Vic stopped at the back and listened, Cassidy bouncing impatiently by his side.

"Okay, this is the thing ladies, a man, even one who's your size, has about twice the upper body strength as you, at least if he's close to your age and physical condition. This means that no matter how good you get, you cannot ever be overconfident when fighting men. I know it's unfair that even your average lard-assed couch potato is usually stronger than the average female, but that's the way it is – I didn't create this world and if I had you know it'd be different.

"But all is not lost! Most men are almost always way overconfident when fighting women, and you can use that to your advantage. You must fight smart and you must fight dirty. How do you do that? First, stay out of reach of his fists – a woman absolutely cannot stand toe to toe with a man and trade punches, unless you're supernaturally strong," she added with a wry chuckle. "So, stab a heel through his foot, break his knee with your boot, hit his nose straight on with your open palm, punch him in the throat with your knuckles, kick his shin, kick him in the balls. Careful though, the last isn't quite as good a target as they'd have you believe on TV. Why, you ask? Because the target is high and men are nearly mindlessly instinctive when it comes to protecting the family jewels."

There was a titter of laughter from the audience. "He'll twist and turn, clinch his thighs, block with his fists, jump back, in short, do anything to make you miss and you'll just kick him in the thigh, and that'll just piss him off and he'll redouble his efforts to pound you into the ground. No, don't aim for the testicles unless you make a mistake and find yourself grappling with him – that's when you smash your knee into his crotch, when you're close enough so you won't telegraph your intention and you need to do something spectacularly effective to break his hold and regain distance. You cannot, ever, wrestle with a male attacker – if you do, you lose. Okay, everyone start practicing your basic katas and kicks, those are two of your few advantages. And work on your flexibility and ladies."

Cassidy and Vic walked in on that note. Much to Vic's surprise he recognized many of the women there as police officers. Most of the occupants were distracted by Vic's entrance so that Vic couldn't help himself. He said loudly, "So, this is where you girls practice 'unarmed combat'! I see why you keep it hidden!"

He could see Corrine glaring at him, Dannie Sofer didn't look too happy, Captain Rawlings gazed at him with cool detachment, and Cassidy said loudly, "Da-aad, quit being such a tool!"

The instructor locked eyes with Vic and said, "Ah, just what I need! A volunteer! Would you like to help me Detective Mackey? If you're not too busy?"

Vic liked what he saw. He nearly swaggered up to the front of the class, his eyes raking over her, nearly every detail of her body transmitted through her pure white spandex training outfit. She was so distracting that he didn't notice the mixed looks of glee and apprehension from the students.

"Ah, well maybe I could help," he said to the instructor.

"My name's Kennedy. You can help me demonstrate to the class how a woman can take down a much bigger attacker, if she has the right moves and the element of surprise."

Vic laughed, "Hey I don't know if I'm your man or not. I do have some experience street fighting you know—you might find I'm a hard target."

"Don't worry detective, this is just a demonstration – I promise not to hurt you. Now let's stand sideways to the class, facing each other. Now pretend you're my pimp or something and you're planning to beat me down for some transgression."

Vic didn't much care for that characterization, so he suggested, "Howzabout I'm just some random mugger?"

"Sure, that'll work. Let's say I just pissed you off cuz I won't give you my purse – so now you're gonna hit me. Just aim your right fist at me in slow motion so I can explain some basics to the class."

Vic slowly made as if to hit her. As his beefy hand moved in slow motion towards Kennedy's face, Kennedy said, "Now ladies, please notice how Vic's body moves as his fist and arm move forward. This is common in almost all street attacks: you see, as his fist aims towards my face, his whole torso starts to twist. This arc motion, small though may be, can be used to defend yourself. Most people aren't even aware of this tendency to rotate – what engineers call moment – so you need only to push his hand further to your right, or his left, because that is the way he is naturally moving. It's kind of like pushing somebody over who is already near to overbalancing."

Kenn put up her hand and said, "Hold that pose Vic, while explain something." She turned back to the class and continued, "If your opponent is a trained boxer, or other similar discipline, he's gonna know this. Instead of planning to hit you once, he'll be in the middle of one-two punch and you can only win if you're really, really fast and get him in the middle of his first punch. But in that case, you've got major problems, and you'd best shoot him if you have a gun. If not, run like the wind."

The class took Kenn's words seriously. "Okay, back to Vic here, pretending to be your average street crook, not an experienced and disciplined fighter."

Kennedy got back into position and said, "Go slow." She slowly put up her left hand and pushed Vic's right hand further in it's natural arc. "You see how easy it is to make him miss, he just doesn't expect it – but ya still gotta be fast to keep from getting hit, so at the same time you want to lean a little to your left. If you do it right, his fist will flash past your face without touching you. To complete the exercise, you put up your other hand, grab his wrist with both hands, yank violently down and to your left, twist your body like so, lock your hands like this, turn your body, and your attacker suddenly has to twist himself around. If he doesn't, you'll break his elbows or dislocate his shoulder and that'll be the end of the fight. But most of the time they'll try to avoid getting bones broken, so once he twists around you can just follow through with a rolling hip-lock and he hits the ground, hard. Then you either run, kill him, or handcuff him, depending on your particular situation. The one thing you don't do is try to knock him out, that's something that only works on TV. Unless you have a great deal of experience you probably won't knock anyone unconscious without a very good chance of killing them, too."

Vic smiled as his slow-mo twisting motion brought his side into full body contact with Kenn's body. He exaggerated his movement until he could feel her breasts against his arm. Kennedy smiled with feral anticipation.

"Now let's try it for real. You up for it Detective? Do you think you can try to attack me without holding back?"

"If I don't hold back, Ms. Kennedy, you'll get hurt; I don't hurt women, it's not my nature." He heard Corrine let out a soft, bitter laugh, and sadly added, "Intentionally anyway."

"Don't worry, I won't let you touch me. All you have to do is swing a fist at my face, but if you can't do it, then I guess you can't do it."

"Oh, I can do it alright, I just don't want to."

"Because you can't, you can't hit me because I can move faster than a big ugly fat fucker like you!" Kennedy taunted.

Vic, unperturbed, said, "All right, let's do it a half speed then."

"Okay, hit me!"

Vic swung his fist moderately fast towards Kennedy and wasn't all that surprised when she grabbed his wrist as before and twisted him around and stopped. He was surprised to find he was in a locked hold and couldn't move much at all, but he was philosophical about it and enjoyed the feel of Kennedy's torso pressed against his back. Kennedy's arms were just barely long enough to wrap around his waist, but he found the lock she had on his wrists was surprisingly strong. He turned to the audience and said, "But this is really a fake thing you know, in reality the perp will move far faster than I did, and will probably be armed too."

Kennedy released him and said, "Fair enough, get out your gun, and this time try to attack me for real, if you have the ability to do so."

"Sure." Vic popped the clip from his weapon, pulled back the slide and worked it to make certain it was empty, and put the clip in his pocket. He dry fired the gun in a safe direction, and only then did he point it close to, but still not directly at, Kennedy.

He was astonished when she easily disarmed him moments later, punching him painfully in the process. Without thinking, he retaliated in full force with his left fist flying towards Kennedy's jaw. It was too late to pull back and he really had lost it, so he was further amazed when Kennedy grabbed his hand, twisted his arm around and down the opposite direction from before, his whole body following his arm (like he had a choice), and then he found himself falling towards the ground only to be violently twisted against Kennedy's hip and then flung through the air to land on his back. His harsh landing reverberated throughout the room, the wood floor vibrated with the shock of his full weight crashing down on the thin mat.

The students applauded, Kennedy took a bow and then reached out to help Vic to his feet. Vic wasn't through though and pulled hard on Kennedy's hand. He didn't notice that there was no resistance until it was too late. Kenn let Vic pull her and jumped to follow, her feet over her head, she tucked into a ball and rolled in the air above Vic until she landed butt first on Vic's head, extending her feet just in time to take up most of the shock so as not to cause serious injury to Vic.

A muffled "OW!" came from beneath her rear end. Kennedy hadn't intended to land on Vic's face like that so she stood rapidly, blushing slightly. The class laughed.

Vic shook his head and got slowly to his feet. He grinned with infectious good nature as he said, "Well, maybe there is something to this chop-socky stuff of yours after all." The class laughed with him, he was hard for women to ignore and they responded to his natural humor.

Kennedy said, "It's not really Asian, mostly I do Krav Maga, with a few personal variations that takes into account my size. It also helps that I'm stronger than I look."

"Well," replied Vic, "I have to admit I'm impressed, especially by the way you so smoothly reversed your moves when I used my left instead of my right hand. And I particularly enjoyed your finale.

"But you know, there's a big difference between doing this in a controlled environment, and doing it out in the street in a situation that's so fluid you don't know what's gonna happen from one moment to the next."

"Oh, I know that better than you think, detective. Do you have time for one more demo? It's a short one."

Vic shrugged. "Sure."

"This one might hurt just a little bit." Kennedy held a finger and thumb a quarter inch apart to demonstrate how little it would hurt.

Vic shrugged again.

Kenn, in lecture mode, said, "Now I gotta be honest ladies, I'm pretty good at this, but I've been practicing since I was five years old. One of things you learn in the martial arts is that the time it takes for your eye to register an opponent's hand start to move until the brain identifies that movement is about two tenths of second, more or less. So if you can strike faster than that, he won't see you coming until after you've broken one of his bones, and that's a helluva good way to win a fight. Now, I can strike that fast, but you can't, at least not until you've practiced your katas about ten thousand times each. So you're thinking, 'What the hell am I doing here?', right? Because how many of you are gonna work at this as hard as I have for the last twenty years? Some of you, I hope the answer is yes. The rest of you, well, you're gonna hafta learn some tricks, you still need to work at it, but maybe not so insanely single-minded as me.

"So here's an example: suppose you're waiting for a ride, or a bus, or a taxi; it's late, everyone's gone except you, and wouldn't you know it but some guy stumbles out of a bar down the block and spots you waiting. Now this guy, he's not really a hardened criminal, he's guy that's had too much to drink. And you know how guys are, a few drinks and they're suddenly thinking with their dicks instead of their brains. Right Vic?"

Vic shrugged. "Yeah, I've been a cop for a while, I've seen it all, and you know you're right."

"So this strange guy is coming on to you, and he thinks he's sooo charming while stinking of booze. Well, you can see where this is gonna go – so do you shoot him?"

The audience shakes their heads.

"No, not yet anyway. If it goes too far, you might have to shoot him. So let's stop it before it gets there. I'm not gonna get fancy here, this'll be plain and simple. Here, detective, pretend you're this guy and come on to me."

Vic grinned, "Ya know, I've never done this, but I've certainly seen it plenty of times." Vic loosened up, shook off his cop demeanor and slackly stepped towards Kennedy, saying, "Heyyyy baby, ya wanna get some? Huh, baby... URK! YOW!"

Kenn kicked him in the shin, hard enough that Vic started hopping around on one leg, clutching the other leg with both hands. Then she swept his single supporting leg out from under with her right leg and Vic crashed heavily to the mats.

Kennedy said to her audience, "See? Nothing fancy needed, after a little practice all of you will be able to do that." She looked down and asked, "You okay Vic?"

He groaned a response.

TBC