Chapter 40

"Are you okay sweet pea?" Rachel looked up at the sound of her Dads voice; giving him a small smile as she saw the concerned look on his face.

"Of course Dad" She replied, smiling a bit wider before putting a spoonful of cereal into her mouth and looking down again, hoping that they would believe her, not trying to question her further. It was Friday, the day after her conversation with Artie and Blaine after rehearsal and she felt nervous. The nervousness had been with her as she had fallen asleep and had still been there when she'd awoken in the morning; but she was trying to push that to back of her mind. Rachel knew that in order to be a successful Maria, and for the show to be as amazing as possible she had to have sex; she had to experience what it felt like to share that ultimate expression of love with the boy she loved.

"You look a little pale, Rachel are you sure?" Leroy asked and Rachel sighed. "You're not sick are you?"

"I don't get sick"" Rachel said softly. "Really I'm fine"

"We don't have to go to this conference if you're sick sweetie" Leroy continued, standing up to walk over and press his hand against her forehead. "Mhmm, you don't have a fever"

"Daddy, honestly" She groaned, shrugging his hand away. "I'm fine, just a little tired okay?"

"Alright" Leroy replied after observing her for a few moments. "Is James picking you up this morning?"

"No, I'm meeting him there" She said smiling again. A thought dawned on her as she finished eating her cereal, smiling as she spoke up again. "Dad, Daddy; I was wondering if I could ask you something"

"Of course you can baby girl"

"Well, since you're going away for the weekend…I was wondering if James could stay over Saturday night, you know to keep me company?" She asked, trying to keep her face passive.

"You're normally fine by yourself" Hiram replied, a thoughtful look on his face.

"I know I am, but I just thought it'd be a chance for us to spend some time together; We haven't seen each other much outside of school the last couple weeks" Rachel said, letting a hint of sadness into her voice; she didn't like doing it, but Rachel knew exactly how to manipulate her Dads so that they couldn't refuse what she asked of them.

"We know sweetie; it's been hard" Leroy replied with an understanding smile. "If Andrea agrees then we'd be more than happy with James staying over with you"

"Thank you" Rachel said with a wide smile as she jumped up and hugged both of her Dads quickly, springing away from them and biting her lip. "I need to go; I'll see you tonight. Love you dads"

"Love you too sweet pea" Was all she heard as she grabbed her bag and closed the front door behind her as she made her way out to her car. As she drove to school, Rachel couldn't help but smile at her Dads concern about her health. If only they knew why, but she was glad that at least she knew how to get James alone. She was nervous about how to let James know that she was ready to go all the way with him; how did you even tell a boy that?

All she knew was that she had to pull herself together before she got to school; James would definitely be able to tell that there was something wrong and unlike her Dads, he wouldn't accept a simple "I'm tired" as an explanation. She had woken up a couple of times during the night, but that was because she had dreamed about her first time with him; what it felt like to have him touch her, whispering how much he loved her in her ear as he took her in the most intimate way imaginable. Feeling the blush on her cheeks as she pictured her dreams the previous night, Rachel took a deep breath as she parked her car in the senior lot taking a couple of seconds and a few deep breaths before she went to find him.

Straightening the dress she had opted to wear, Rachel stepped into the school and walked through the corridors towards her locker. James hadn't arrived at her locker yet, but after retrieving her books for the first couple of classes Rachel stood there waiting, knowing that he would come and see her before class started.

After five minutes, she spotted him walking hurriedly towards her; silently noting how great he looked now that he had let his hair grow out to a similar length it had been when they'd first started dating, loving how the tight curls unravelled the longer it got. He caught her gaze and shot her a smirk as he stepped close to her and pulled her into a tight embrace as soon as he was within touching distance.

Rachel held him closely, pressing her body against his as they stood for several seconds before he pulled away and leant down to kiss her lips once, murmuring as he pulled away; "hey sorry I'm late"

"It's okay" She replied, surpressing the moan that wanted to leave her throat as she saw him wearing a tight fitting vest under his hoodie that was zipped up half way; of course he would be looking especially perfect today Rachel thought to herself as she saw the way it highlighted his toned chest.

"You okay Rach?" He asked, looking at her curiously when she managed to snap her eyes away from his body.

"Yea I'm fine" She said smiling, licking her lips as he nodded. "I just really missed having your arms around me last night"

"Mhmm" He murmured resting his forehead against hers. "I thought about you last night"

"Oh? She asked curiously, gulping at the look on his face. "What was I doing?"

"We were on my bed kissing" He replied as he moved a hand to rest against her cheek, gently stroking his thumb across her skin. "Your lips were everywhere and it was so amazing; then we stopped and started singing, it was sort of bizarre"

Rachel couldn't help but burst out giggling as he described his dream to her, managing to control herself as she saw him smirking at her with a slight red tinge to his cheeks. "That's adorable…but very weird. Were we any good?"

"Babe, we were incredible; I've never heard a better performance than me and you together" He replied, squeezing her cheek gently. "You know we're perfect together"

"We are" She said nodding her head. Rachel gazed into his eyes for a few moments before biting her lip; deciding to tell him about her dream. "I thought about you last night too"

"Really?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Rachel nodded at him as he smirked. "What did you think about"

Rachel gulped before leaning up so that she could whisper into his ear. She took a breath before speaking quietly; "You touching me"

The low groan he let out made her heart beat faster; a primal noise that let her know exactly how appealing he found that thought. Chewing her lip, Rachel placed both of her hands on his chest and stepped closer to him; looking up through her eyebrows into his eyes as he other hand came and rested in the small of her back. "Do you like that idea?"

"Yeah" He murmured quietly and she felt his chest beat a little faster underneath her hands. "Where was I-"

"Sup guys" Noah voice caused both of them to groan and move their heads away and turned to look at his smirking face. "Oh was I interrupting something?"

"Just telling Rach how much I missed her last night" James spoke first in a surprisingly composed voice. "What's up Dude?"

"Hi Noah" She murmured, resting her head sideways against James chest to try and hide her blushing cheeks as well as keeping some intimacy between them.

"Hey there beautiful" He replied with a wink "And "What's up?" Dude, its Friday we've got classes together with Artie this morning"

"Right…we do" James said with a gentle sigh. "I'll see you at lunch, babe alright?"

"I hope so" Rachel murmured.

She gave him a smile as he leant down and pressed a tender kiss against her lips, her skin tingling as he repeated the action on the cheek and then finally just below her ear. Her eyes closed instinctively as she felt his breath on her ear. "I love you"

"Love you too" She replied, squeezing his arm as he stepped away from her; giving her a final smile before he turned and walked down the corridor talking to Noah who judging by the sly smirk on his face was giving her boyfriend some shit.

Rachel groaned and rested her head back against the locker as she stood there heat in her body from talking o James about her dream last night. It felt so comfortable to bring that up with him and she had loved the response she'd gotten; it felt right and she knew she was making the right decision to ask him to spend the weekend at her house so they could be together.

…

Rachel next saw James at lunch as she made her way over to the Glee club table, smiling as she saw James sat talking to Blaine and Mike; a huge grin on each of their faces as they burst out laughing. Her heart beat quicker at seeing that handsome look on his face and as she reached the table Rachel leant down and kissed his cheek, leaving her lips against his skin for a few seconds before pulling back and dropping into the seat next to him.

James turned and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before he turned and resumed his conversation with the two boys, a smile crossing her face when he reached under the table and took her hands in his giving it a squeeze. Rachel ate her lunch that her Dads had prepared, before joining in with the boys conversation as they switched from discussing sports to the musical and how everyone was excited for it; even the people in the school who hated the arts had become interested in seeing it thanks to Coach Beiste forcing the jocks to take part.

Thankfully Artie wasn't there, he and Noah had apparently arranged to do something away from the group with Finn, Rachel wasn't quite sure she would have been able to keep her composure as she and Blaine told them that they had practically perfected their performances; both of their eyes meeting for a moment, sharing their nervousness about facing up to what their director had suggested.

Rachel didn't like the fact that she didn't have any lessons with James that day nor did they have a free period, wanting someone alone time with him to talk about what she had decided the night before. After school however, there wasn't a rehearsal for the musical on Friday night, he had agreed to help her put up some posters for her presidential campaign around the school.

"Right there" She said softly, a smile on her face as James pinned the poster to the wall. As always he was being incredibly supportive of her ambitions and lending himself fully to making sure she got elected. "Thank you for helping with this"

"Don't worry Rach" He replied winking at her. "It's fun, plus we get to spend some time together"

"Yeah" She nodded, biting her lip. "I've missed being able to have you all to myself"

"I know the feeling" He said sighing as he lent his shoulder against the wall, placing a hand on her waist and gently tugging her towards him. Rachel was of course more than happy to go to him, stepping in between his legs and placing her hands on his chest. "It feels like we haven't been alone, like in my room or yours, in ages"

"I've been wanting to tell you about my dream" Rachel says quietly so that only he would be able to tell, looking up at him seductively through her eyelashes, knowing how it affected him. "About where you touched me"

James smirked at her, the look making heat build in her groin and before he could say a word; Rachel leaned towards him to join their lips. Rachel opened her mouth at the contact without him needing to ask permission, running her hands up his arms so that she could link them behind his neck and pull him even closer. After a couple of minutes, they separated breathless and Rachel her head against his chest as his fingers soothingly ran through her hair.

"I love you so much James" She murmured, tightening her arms around him.

"Hey Rach" His soft voice and his fingers stopping caught her attention.

"Mhmm?" She murmured, lifting her head of his chest and moving her hands down to his waist.

"Whats gotten into you" He asked, smiling. "You're so…confident and I love it but the talking about me touching you is just…new"

"It's all the success I'm experiencing at the moment" She replied, biting her lip. "I've got the musical, the presidential election and I've got the hottest guy in school as my boyfriend"

Rachel watched, loving the way his handsome face erupted into a smirk. Shrugging her shoulders and adding a seductive flicker of her eyelashes Rachel spoke again; "I hope my radiance isn't too much for you"

"Mhmm, not at all" He replied, dipping his head down and kissed her once before resting his forehead against hers. "You're glowing and I love it; You being so confident is super hot"

"That makes two of us then" She replies grinning at him before kissing him again. They share several drawn out kisses that leave her breathless and as he moves his head to kissing her jawline, Rachel can't help but ask him; "James, mmmmm, James stop; I need to ask you something"

He presses a final kiss against her skin, sighing as he pulls back and moves a hand to her neck, slowly stroking where he had been kissing with his thumb. "What's up angel?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over this weekend and stay with me while my Dads are in Columbus"

She watched as his eyes searched hers for a moment before he nodded; "Sure, but don't you just want to stay at mine?"

"I want us to be alone" She replies, biting her lip. "We've had so little time as just us the last couple of weeks that I thought we could get some take out and watch a soppy romantic comedy together without worrying about your parents interrupting us"

"Yeah…I like that idea" He said nodding his head.

"Really?" She asked feeling her smile widen.

"I'll have to check with my mom but yeah; it sounds perfect" He replies, squeezing her neck slightly. "I can't wait"

"Me either" She murmurs, closing the distance between them give him a single kiss before pulling back and sighing happily. "Walk me to my car?"

"Of course angel" He replied, leaning up from against the wall and wrapping an arm around his shoulders as she happily leans into his side, placing her own around his waist as they walk towards the senior car lot.

Later that night, Rachel jumps and squeals in happiness when James calls and tells her that his mom said it was alright for him to stay over Saturday night; complimenting her son on his thoughtfulness to offer to stay over at his girlfriends and keep her company while her Dads away. Rachel has to try and control her giggles at that; if only James knew what she had in store for him the following night.

…

"Just remember that your father wrote down the name of the hotel and its pinned up at the fridge; call if you needed anything. There is money on the counter for take out for you and James, but don't eat just that this weekend; remember that there is some leftovers from last night that you can eat if you two want" Rachel rolled her eyes as her Dad checked with her for what felt like the fiftieth time. She had gotten up early so that she could see them off as they went to drive up to Columbus. "Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself sweetheart?"

"Yes Dad, I'll be fine; this isn't the first time you've let me for the weekend" She reminded them, smiling warmly to let them know she wasn't saying it as a snarky comment. Her Dad chuckled and nodded his head before leaning over to press a kiss against her forehead.

"Okay sweetie. You know we don't like leaving you alone" Leroy said as Hiram pulled away from hugging her.

"Daddy, I'm not going to be alone; James is staying over tonight and tomorrow" Rachel replied, kissing his cheek. "He'll take care of me and I'll take care of him; we'll be fine"

"Alright baby girl" Leroy said smiling warmly as she walked towards the front door.

With a final kiss on each of their cheeks and one final assurance that she would be perfectly fine by herself, even though James would be staying there for the two days they were away; Rachel waved them off as they drove away in her father's Volvo before closing the door behind her as she made her back into the lounge with a smile on her face.

Settling down, she let out a happy smile before starting to plan everything out. James wouldn't be coming over until one or two in the afternoon thanks to his Saturday tradition playing football with the glee boys after helping his mom decorate the guest room. That would give her plenty of time to go back to bed for a couple of hours and then get up to prepare for him. One she'd know that he was going to be able to stay the nights her Dads were away, she had written a list in her room about how she planned on seducing him.

The night would inevitably lead to them in her bedroom making out, the two of them were alone and that was generally the result of when they spent time together regardless of whether anybody else was in the house with them. Her Dads had left them money for takeout and Rachel already knew that she was going to ring a Thai place; James loved the spice and flavour of that food. All she needed to do was to convince him to watch a romantic film with her and she would be all set for her night of seduction.

Rachel had spent her day getting ready for that evening; she had called James in the afternoon and he had told her that he would come over to hers around six o'clock, once he had managed to get his mom off his back about helping with the chores around the house. She had decided on wearing one of the dresses; a lilac with a frilly skirt that she knew he loved seeing her in.

Walking down the stairs figuring she still had a few minutes before James turned up, Rachel smiled as she lit the candles in the lounge of her house; maybe it was going a bit too far, but she wanted the night to be perfect and romantic and the candles seemed to be a natural extension of that. The scent of cinnamon was noticeable in the air and Rachel admired her work as she sat waiting for James to come.

She'd considered getting wine for them to drink, either from her Dads liquor cabinet or by asking Noah to acquire her some but she had dismissed that idea quickly, nothing was more cliché than getting drunk and having sex for a couple of teenagers. When she did this with James, she wanted it to be of their own choice because they loved each other, not because of some outside pressure on the two of them. Still, she was nervous and the alcohol would have taken that way, because she was ready for this; wasn't she?

The doorbell ringing snapped her out of her thoughts; Rachel made her way to the front door and paused, fiddling with her fringe nervously in the mirror in the corridor before turning, letting out a breathe as she opened the door.

"Hey" She said smiling widely as James stood there in her doorway with his handsome smile on his face as she stood to the side and let him enter her house, closing the door after he had.

"Rach…" He murmured and she turned around to look at him. She watched as his eyes skirted down and over her body as he took in her appearance. They widened as they saw how dressed up she was; Rachel bit her lip as she realised that he was in a pair of jeans and a hoodie, she hadn't told him to wear anything smart of dressy as she had wanted to surprise him. "You look amazing"

"Thank you" She replied, leaning up to press a kiss against his lips. "You look great too"

"Babe, why did you tell me you were getting dressed up? I would have thrown a shirt on-" He said softly.

"It's okay, really; I just wanted to dress up for you. Besides, you look really cute in that hoodie" She replied, biting her lip at him as she ran her hands over his chest. It was a tight fitting one and she really loved how tight it was around his arms, showing off his muscle and particularly around the chest she could feel his firm body.

"Still" He murmured as his hand came up to stroke her cheek with his knuckles. Rachel sighed at the feel of his skin against hers, a warm sensation. "I wish you would have told me"

"Don't worry about that; we've got the night together to just be alone and I've got something to show you" She said, moving her hand to link her fingers with his as she led him into the lounge.

"Wow…this is beautiful" He spoke, sounding taken aback by the candles lighting the room. Rachel grinned at the words, knowing how much he loved the surprise she had set up for them. "Rach, you did all this for us?"

"Like I said; we haven't been alone for a couple of weeks and I wanted tonight to be special" She replied, turning to face him and draped her arms around his shoulders. "I love you"

"Love you too" He murmured as he leant down and kissed her. Rachel moaned at the contact and had to mentally remind herself not to open her mouth to him, they had a full night together and she didn't want to rush it. After sharing a few chaste kisses they pulled away and James kissed her forehead once.

"So you like it?" She asked, tilting her head to the side as his fingers ran through her hair, relaxing into the contact.

"It's perfect" He replied, smirking at her. "Though after this, I'm wondering what you've got planned for us tonight"

"Well" She said, licking her lips. "My Dads left us some money to order takeout, so I figure we can call that Thai place because we both love it so much. I've also picked out a couple of films for us to watch; Letters to Juliet, Mamma Mia and I thought I might let you picked another"

"Oh really?" He said chuckling "That's very gracious of you"

"I know" She teased, shrugging her shoulders as they both laughed. "I'll even let you call the takeout"

"You spoil me Rach" He replied and she nudged his shoulder playfully as he released her and pulled out his cell phone.

…

While they waited for their food, the two of them settled on the couch as he told her about his dad; playing with the glee guys at the park where he, Blaine, Mike and a couple of his friends wiped the floor with the others. She laughed at him as he told her about the horrific experience of painting the guest room; his mom changing her mind on what colour she wanted after he'd already done three of the walls in a relaxing amber, meaning that he needed to give his next Saturday up to redo the job.

Rachel in turn tried to pass off what she'd been doing; telling him that she'd simply enjoyed having the house to herself instead of preparing to give herself to him. She was glad for the distraction of the bell ringing as he playfully told her that she could have called him if she was so lonely; the desire building within her at the look in his eyes.

They sat together on her couch watching Letters to Juliet as they shared the same bowl of noodles, and they were both giggling as he attempted to use chopsticks to feed her. the alone time reminded Rachel just how amazing she felt around him, how special he made her feel and most importantly reminding her just how much she missed having this with him.

A few hours later and they were stretched out on the couch, James closest to the edge as Rachel was led with her head on his chest; their legs entwined as he ran a hand over the small of her back while his other was resting on his groin linked with one of hers. Of all the things that they did, Rachel most enjoyed just lying there in his embrace; feeling the comfort and warmness of his body against hers. When they were alone like this, she felt simply safe and secure surrounded by his love; her eyes closing at the relaxing movement of his hand against the thin material of her dress in the small of her back.

"I love you" She heard him murmur before feeling his lips against her forehead. Rachel smiled and snuggled her body closer to him, opening her eyes and looking up at him. He was looking down at her with pure adoration and love that it made her skin shiver.

Licking her lips, Rachel moved her free hand and rested it against his cheek, nudging him towards her so that she could kiss him. They kissed for a few moments before she pulled back and nuzzled his nose with hers; taking a deep breath before she spoke; "Let's go to bed"

She could see him observing her for a few moments before he smiled and nodded is head at her, releasing her hand so that she could sit up. Rachel stood up, smoothing her dress before she turned of the film and blew out the candles. Finally she turned and offered her hand to him, smiling as he took it and she led him towards the stairs.

The two of them walked in silence up the stairs and towards her bedroom, Rachel's thoughts dwelling on the fact that it felt so similar to all the previous times she had led him to her room; but somehow it was different, a slightly daunting thought that she was leading him there so that she could lose her virginity. The night had been perfect, they had sat there and just enjoyed the time together away from everything else; It was just so perfect that she knew she was ready to give herself to him, she had spent the night surrounded by his love and she was ready.

He walked into her room and she watched him as he paused by her bed, turning to look at her as she stood by her door. She smiled at him and he returned it; somehow that simple action reassuring her and she stepped forwards, walking towards him. Rachel paused as she stood close to him, and leant into his touch as his hand came up to cup her face; his warm skin feeling so relaxing that she couldn't help but sigh contently.

Rachel leant up the short distance and pressed their lips together, moaning into his mouth as his other hand came to rest against her waist as he edged her towards him; Rachel happily stepping forwards so that she could wrap herself up in his body. They started off kissing slowly, but it quickly built up and not long after they were stood there kissing furiously, tongues battling as her hands came up to grip the front of his t-shirt, fisting it as he ran his fingers through her hair.

She could feel the heat building up in her body and she needed him to touch her as he moved his lips to her neck and peppered soft kisses against her pulse point that made her groan. In a breathless voice, she managed to say; "Help me take this off"

James stopped his actions on the skin at her neck, pulling back after a few seconds to look at her; his eyes searching for explanation and she swore she could see looking for confirmation that she wanted him to do what she'd asked. Nodding at him, Rachel leant up and gave him a slow kiss before murmuring; "Please, I need you to see me"

He licked his top li as he nodded at her; Rachel slowly turned around so that he could access the zipper at the back. Pulling her hair out of the way, she watched over her shoulder as his hand moved slowly, tracing the shape of her body as it made its way across her back to the zipper before slowly pulling it down to expose her to him. Her breath hitched as he leant over and kissed the soft skin in between her shoulder blades, the action sending a jolt down her body before his hands came up to the straps of her dress and slowly moved them off her shoulders. Rachel shimmied slightly as it fell off her body, pooling at her feet and she took a deep breath; the first time she had revealed this much of herself to him, before she turned.

She instantly knew that she had made the right decision, the look in his eyes was something incredible; setting her body on fire. He gazed at her with a look of amazement, as if he was gazing upon something perfect and it made her feel like a goddess in front of him.

"You look" He murmured, exhaling loudly. His eyes met hers again and he smiled at her. "I don't know how to describe you; you're beautiful"

She grinned at him before stepping forward and taking his hands in hers. She slowly moved them to her chest and placed them over her bra covered breasts, moaning as he cupped them softly and rubbed his thumb over their centre brushing past her nipples. His hands paused and he looked up at her and smiled before whispering; "I love you"

"I love you too" She returned, leaning up to kiss him again. They kissed slowly, passionately for several minutes as his hands moved slowly over her and she arched into his touch. Eventually Rachel found her voice and managed to whisper; "Take your top off and lay on my bed"

He nodded and stepped back from her, his hands pulling his top off and her breath hitched in her throat as she saw his perfectly shaped and defined chest in front of her as he lay on her bed, his back perched up against her pillows. Licking her lips, Rachel climbed onto her bed after him and moved so that she was straddling him; smiling at the way his hands rested against her thighs as she looked at him for a split second before leaning down and kiss his skin just over his heart. Looking up at him through her eyelashes she saw his eyes closed and she kissed him again before moving her lips slowly, teasingly up his body towards his face. She nipped at the skin at his jaw playfully and he groaned as one of his hands rubbed slowly over her bum.

"I love you" She whispered, pressing herself closer against him so that her breasts were pushed up against his chest as she moved her hands to rest on either side of his jaw, leaning forwards to meet their lips. She started off slowly again, kissing him sensually before flicking his teeth with her tongue and slipping it into his mouth when he allowed her to deepen it. His tongue met hers as they moved against each other as she wound her arms around his neck and shifted so that she was flush up against him, no distance between them as they kissed more roughly, unrestrained; Rachel's body being overwhelmed by the feel of his hands gently squeezing her bum.

She didn't know how long they were there and honestly she didn't care, the feel of his lips against hers and his hands were numbing her mind and she couldn't help but moan and whine softly as she instinctively ground hips into his, pressing their arousals together.

"God I love you" He gasped as she grinded down on him, Rachel smirking as she moved her lips to his neck and started to nip and suck at the skin.

As she continued her actions at his neck, she felt one of his hands slowly move up her body and rest on her breast between them; his fingers slowly massaging it as she pulled at a bit of skin between her teeth, gasping when he squeezed her breast more firmly pulling her head away and rested her forehead against his shoulder. His hand moved from her breast and came up to neck as he steered her face back to his and their lips met instantly.

Rachel giggled when she felt him flip them over so that he was lying on his side, half hovering her as his lips attached themselves to her neck as he paid her back. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as he squeezed one of her nipples between his thumb and finger at the same time he bit down at her neck and her hips jerked into his body as she gasped; "Make love to me"

James paused kissing her neck, slowly pulling back to gaze into her eyes and she could see the confused look as he searched hers for an answer. Taking a breath, Rachel smiled at him and moved a hand to cup his cheek as she spoke seriously. "I want you to make love to me"

"Yeah?" He spoke softly, licking his lips as she nodded at him. "Rach, Its your first time; we shouldn't-"

"I'm ready" She replied quickly, smiling widely at him. "I love you and I want us to do this together"

He frowned for a moment and Rachel didn't want to give him chance to say no; instead leaning forward and kissing him roughly, pressing her tongue into his mouth. He started kissing her back and after a few seconds, Rachel grinned against his mouth as she moved her hand and encouraged him to continue his actions. He let her move his hand south, towards her core but a few inches away he paused and tore his lips from hers. "Rachel-"

"I'm ready and I can tell you are too" She said pointedly flicking her eyes to the tent in his pants. "I want to give myself to you; for us to do this together"

"Rachel" He murmured shaking his head. "Rach, I'm not a virgin"

The words were like a bucket of cold ice had been thrown over her and she stared at him shocked. He wasn't? She'd known he'd had another girlfriend before her but she hadn't thought they'd had sex, he was so careful with her. She felt like crying at the fact that he hadn't told her, that she'd thrown herself at him tonight, prepared to give herself to him and it wasn't the same for him. Gulping she managed to speak softly; "What?"

"Baby, I- I'm sorry I should have told you but"

"You're not a virgin" She murmured, shifting away from him and sitting up in her bed. She felt the tears growing in her eyes and folded her arms across her chest, suddenly feeling very exposed and vulnerable in front of him.

"Rachel; please look at me, let me explain" His voice was begging and she could see his eyes were worried.

"Can you go please" She managed to say, her voice weak as she tried to hold herself together.

"Please don't' make me go, Rach, please don't push me away"

"I'd like you to go" She replied and she could see his heart break as he opened and closed his mouth several times; his eyes filling hurt but also still full of worry for her. After a few seconds, he nodded at her and leant over to kiss her. Rachel closed her eyes and turned her face so that he kissed her cheek instead of her lips like he had wanted and didn't dare open them as she felt him pull away; she didn't want to see the hurt on his face as he stood up from her bed looking as though his whole world had been torn down.

"I love you Rachel" was the last thing she heard before her bedroom door closed and she broke down into tears. That night was supposed to be the most special night of her life, the night she gave herself to the man that she loved; instead, it just felt as though her heart had been crushed.

….

A/N :

Poor Rachel!

Things are going to be strained between the two of them for the next couple of chapters, but we'll see if they can work it out!