Chapter 48

James outburst stays with her that night, as she drives herself home from McKinley, while she sits eating dinner with her Dads and while she is in bed later on that night. She knew James was unhappy with Glee; he'd mentioned it a few times how he wished he would get the chance to sing more but seeing him happy to be in the club with her and the smile he wore while dancing the routines had covered just how much it had evidently gotten to him.

Could she really have been caught up in herself and the struggles she'd been facing; which James had been overwhelming supportive with, that she had been oblivious to him? Like she said, she'd been aware of the fact that he was unhappy when Mr Schuster had given solos and singing parts to other members of the Glee Club, herself included, but he was so amazing about not letting it get to him that she'd managed to kid herself into thinking that he was happy in the group.

Quite obviously he wasn't and it saddened her that he hadn't voiced these things to her, she loved him and she wanted to be the person that he could unload everything onto, but apparently he didn't feel as if he could.

Her Dads had assumed James would be joining them for dinner that evening, and so were obviously confused when she turned up home without him but didn't question it when she gave them an excuse that some schoolwork had come up that he needed to complete. She knows that the two of them know it's a lie, but fortunately they've at least realised that they don't need to pry, some of the time at least, when it comes to her and James' relationship. They eat dinner, her Dads asking if she's planning on seeing James that night to which she gives them a shrug and supplies a perhaps if he's not too busy with his work before asking them about their days at work.

James doesn't go home that night, or at least Sam doesn't text her to say her boyfriend arrives home safe.

Rachel sits on her bed, phone laying next to her, as she cuddles with Fluffy watching reruns of how I met your mother as she waits for the message. Frustrated at around nine thirty, she picks it up and texts Sam and James asking if she can over to see him but all she gets is a clear blow off text from Sam telling her "sorry but James isn't home" despite the fact that she knows her boyfriend is always home before eight; his mom hates him being out late unless its for a special occasion and there's one thing James would never do and that's make his mother worry, especially when she calls him every night when she's in Oregon.

She gives up about eleven, snuggling into bed holding tightly onto Fluffy to try and get to sleep; promising herself that the following day she is going to give James the hell of all rants for ignoring her when they quite obviously need to talk.

…..

She gets this horrible feeling in her stomach the next morning, just like she had done when she'd been fighting with James; as if some large part of her life was missing and her body was desperate to be reunited with it. On the other hand, which she was also upset that she hadn't talked to him that evening and been able to the two of them back on the right wave length, she was furious with him for ignoring her. They loved each other and two people who were in love weren't supposed to act like this.

Hurriedly eating her breakfast before kissing each of her dads on the cheek, after grabbing her bag, as she leaves the house; wanting to get to school as quickly as possible so that she has the best opportunity to catch James before class. Rachel knows that she's definitely going to see him that day, they share a class together second period, but its ballet and she'd much rather try to catch him before school starts, so she can at least start to talk to him about what is bothering him.

As she drives into the senior class car lot to park her car, she spots James' black Mercedes parked up, a smile crossing her face as she climbs out of her car and walks towards the entrance hall; happy that he's already there a good thirty five minutes before classes start, plenty of time for her to find and check on him.

Walking through the corridors, she bites her lip as she heads towards his locker; hoping that James will be in the process of collecting his things, her face dropping as she turns the corner and see's that hallway is empty aside from a couple of cheerleaders walking away from where she's stood. Smiling sadly Rachel turns around and walks, well marches, towards her own; eyes focused on the ground as she makes her way across the school.

The corners of her mouth curve upwards as she turns into the hallway nearest to the choir room and see's a familiar head of curly brown hair near to her locker. Licking her top lip as she moves towards him quickly, noting to herself how perfect he looks in those tight jeans, Rachel reaches out and touches his arm as she walks past him, turning her body to face him.

He looks up at the contact, giving a small smile as he puts his phone into his pocket before moving his hand to intertwine their fingers and applying a slight amount of pressure, he motions for her to step closer to him.

"Hey" She murmurs, standing with only an inch between them as his spare hand comes up and pushes her fringe out of her eyes.

"Hi" He replies, his smile widening before he leans down and kisses her softly, tenderly and so affectionately that it couldn't be anything other than an apology as he slowly traces his thumb across the skin on her right cheek. Rachel whimpers at the kiss, her hand coming up to rest against his side and squeeze him gently.

"I'm sorry"

Rachel opens her eyes as she feels his breath against her lips when he pulls back, staring to see his eyes brimming with emotion. Licking her lip, she gives him a smile and shakes her head; "It's okay"

"No, it's not" He replies, sighing. "I shouldn't have put all of that on you yesterday and I definitely shouldn't have ran off and ignored you"

Rachel smiles at him, nodding her head slightly as she feels him carress her shoulder, his fingers dancing over the material of her blouse carefully as he speaks again; "Are you okay?"

"Me?" She says giggling slightly at him. "James, I'm fine; a little annoyed you didn't talk to me last night"

"I'm sorry about-"

"Stop apologising" She murmurs, smiling at him "But you scared me baby, when you just left"

"I'm really sorry" He replies, resting his forehead against her "I didn't mean to make you worry, I just had to get out and relax"

"I know, but I think we need to talk about what that was about"

He nods his head at her, chewing his lip between his teeth. "I'm frustrated"

Rachel nods her head, resting her shoulder against the locker next to her as she watches him carefully.

"I'm used to being the top dog, the guy that everyone looks to for leadership and inspiration" He says softly, taking a deep breath "I'm used to singing and doing the things that need to be done to win"

"I'm not sure I can handle being here if this is how things are going to be"

"You want to leave?" She asks, feeling her eyes sting as she tries to process what he's saying.

"Ohio?" He says and instantly shakes his head "No, baby; no I don't want to leave you"

She smiles slightly and steps closer to him; "Then what? New Directions?"

"I don't know, I just hate feeling powerless in something that I'm good at it; in something that I care so passionately about"

"Because of Finn?"

"Partly" He murmurs, shrugging his shoulders gently. "Mostly; I don't know. I hate that I'm stuck singing in the back while someone like Mike, and I love the dude but he isn't a singer, sings lead on a song. I hate the fact that we're struggling to be ready and I know, I know, that I can make a difference but I can't because Finn doesn't want to lose anymore to me after losing you and most of all I hate that I can't sing with my girl"

Rachel smiles sadly, watching him intently as he explains everything that's bothering him. She realises that he's been getting along in New Directions because of how much he cares about her; that he hasn't tried to make a fuss because the fact that he knows how much him being there means to her but after these weeks, this nearly two months he's fed up of playing a bit role.

"You're not happy and I understand that now" She murmurs softly, stroking his face with one of her hands. "But baby, you need to talk to me about these things"

"You wouldn't have understood" He shakes his head. "You don't want to upset Finn because you're too good of a person and you care so much with that big heart of yours about trying to make people happy. If I'd have told you how I was feeling about this, would you have gone to Mr Schuster and tried to get me to sing with you instead of him?"

"Maybe" She murmurs and he gives a slight smile "I don't know, I want to sing with you so much but Finn is a member of this group as well and he's already worried about you coming in and being better than him"

"That's what I mean" James interrupts her softly, sighing. "I understand that you chose to be with me, rather than be with him and I was fine with waiting in Glee until I'd proven myself but that was a month ago and ever since, nothing makes its way past Finn in the club. I thought that I was cool with letting him… until he started to try and come in between us"

"What do you mean?" Rachel asks, frowning at him.

"How he talked to you when you started running against Kurt, he came and he was talking to you like he was still your boyfriend; trying to tell you what you should do. Then it was the smug way he looks when he sings with you in front of me in Glee club; and the way he took you away to Kentucky" James says, sniffing. "I just hate feeling like I'm going to lose you to him"

"You won't lose me" Rachel says instantly, a snap reaction to what she's hearing; before moving onto her tiptoes and kissing him fully, pressing hard against him as she worms her tongue into his mouth, intent on showing him exactly how much she loves him and how desperately she needs him. "Baby I love you, I don't want anyone else; how could I want him when you are such a big part of me"

"I'm scared" He murmurs, wrapping his arms around her waist and keeping her close as he rests his forehead against hers. "I'm scared that everyone looks at him like he's the greatest thing in the world, even when he's done something to hurt Santana; you all look at him like he's a saint saving the day. I love you so much Rach, so much that I can't bear to think about losing you"

"Don't think about it" Rachel says softly, giving him a warm smile. "You don't have to think about it because it's never going to happen. Never ever. You are the greatest thing in the world to me, I don't care about anything else; you've proven to me that you'd do anything for me and I love you so, so much James"

He nods at her and Rachel can see the tears in his eyes as he moves his head and rests it in the crook of her neck as he pulls into a tight embrace, sobbing softly into her neck as she cradles him close; a small smile on her lips knowing that they'll be okay, that'll she understands him better than ever.

….

The morning passes by with Rachel's smile intact on her face. she is reluctant to leave him for their first class but knows neither of them can afford to miss any classes. They're together again in Ballet, working as partners as they run through a routine that the class is practising for the end of term recital in a few weeks, just before Christmas, before they separate with a quick kiss saying that they'll sit together in private to talk some more at lunch.

A couple of hours later and the two of them are in the auditorium, led on their backs looking up at the ceiling as they lay there with their hands joined.

"Where'd you go yesterday?" She asks, breaking the silence

"For a walk" He replied, "I walked to the mall and got a drink, some lunch and just cleared my head"

"Sam said he was going to text me when you were home"

"I asked him not to" James replied and continued when she frowned "I needed to get my head right first, before I spoke to you"

"I understand"

"I try to explain things but I don't do a great job" He sighed "I let things build up and then they overwhelm me"

"I know, baby but you know you can always talk to me" She says reassuringly squeezing his hand.

"I love you" He replied with a smile.

"Do you regret coming to McKinley?"

"Maybe" He murmurs in response, and she turns her head to look at him, resting her cheek against his jumper that he set down for her.

"Really?"

"I don't regret being with you everyday" He replies, turning to look straight into her eyes. "I could never regret that, but coming and being a part of New Directions? If you'd have told me this is how it would be like, I'm not so sure I would have joined"

"I'm sorry for making you feel like I was trying to protect Finn" She says softly, "I understand now what that must have been like…and I'm so sorry, I never meant to make it look like I was letting him in"

"I know" He replies, nodding. "I get it and I know I should have been better about telling you what I'm feeling but he just gets to me you know?"

Rachel nods her head, because she does; Finn was a large part of her life and heart for so long.

"I know we're gonna be together for a long, long time" He says and it makes her smile "Mostly because I'm not sure I could ever get rid of you at this point munchkin"

"Hey!" She says as she punches his arm, giggling as he laughs at her before moving closer so that he's resting on his side hovering over her slightly.

"You're stuck with me as well" He says, stroking her cheek with his knuckle gently. "I'd follow you wherever you go from the moment I met you"

"Not follow" She says shaking her head, "We're going everywhere together because I'm never losing you, or leaving you"

He leans down to kiss her, a soft affectionate meeting of their lips as she cradles his hand to her neck, glowing in the presence of her love. "I love you"

"Love you more" She replies grinning at him, loving the way he smirks at her as the two of them stay there silently laying next to each other, enjoying being alone and simply together.

"I need to think about leaving New Directions" He murmurs a few minutes later and she looks up at him. "After sectionals I mean"

"Why?" She asks softly.

"I two things I do Glee for; because I love to sing and because I want to win" He says, biting his lip. "If I'm not getting the opportunity to sing in Glee then I'm not sure I can handle another 6months of being a background singer"

She nods, reluctantly admitting to herself that while she loved having James in Glee and the way he tried to help everyone to be better, to help the club to win; he was much too talented not to be given the chance to shine. "I get it"

"You do?" He asks, smiling.

"I don't want you to leave but I understand why you might want to"

"In a strange way, maybe Miss Pillsbury was right" He murmurs "Maybe I shouldn't have just joined because it was the most natural thing to do; New Directions is so much different than the Scale Blazers, It's about the message and the learning with Mr Schuster and I'm used to it just being about being the best and about winning"

"What are you gonna do if you leave?" She asks, watching him looking thoughtfully at the far wall until he turns his head and gazed at her.

"Basketball when it starts up….Sport is about winning and maybe I can make something happen there"

"I'd love to watch you play, all sweaty and sexy " She says biting her lip as he smirks at her.

"Really?" He asks, leaning down and pausing as their lips are an inch apart.

"Mhmmm" She replies, giggling as he leans down and presses himself against her, loving the way his hands cup her bum gently, massaging her through her tights with his fingers.

…

After their lunch period together, they had gone their separate ways for their afternoon classes and she didn't see him again until she walked into the choir room alongside Blaine and Kurt, the three of them laughing as she sees James sitting at the back of the room slouching slightly in his chair.

She looked towards him, nothing how he was chewing on his lip as he played with his phone in his lap. Rachel noticed Finn giving her a warm smile, which she returned, as she walked towards her boyfriend, winking at Kurt as she parted from the two boys. James looked up at her when he heard her in front of him, giving her a smile as she sat down next to him; depositing her bag before leaning over to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Hey" She murmurs, meeting their lips once more before pulling back and saying teasingly; "So you decided to stay for Glee today?"

James smirks at her, shaking his head slightly as he squeezes her hand. "Funny Munchkin, however there's still time for me to get up and leave"

Rachel giggles back at him, kissing his cheek before settling in her chair next to him, resting her head against his shoulder as she pulls the hand she's holding onto into her lap and clasps it tightly with her two.

"Alright guys, today; Puck is going to perform for us!" Mr Schuster announces with a wide smile on his face as he gestures for Noah to stand up, who grabs his guitar before standing in the centre of the room before he starts performing.

It's a good performance and Rachel enjoys it, as she always does with Noah's performances, especially the way that he is everywhere in the room, interacting with all of the audience; his stage presence has always been strong and it reminds her just how good the group is. She can't help but notice how throughout the song, he keeps glancing at Shelby rather than Santana or even Quinn which she wonders about before hearing James' whisper in her ear distracting her;

"He's really good"

With a smile, she turns and nods at her boyfriend before returning to her previous position watching Noah finish up the song, clapping along with the rest of the group as Mr Schuster makes his way to the front of the class.

"Awesome job Puck" Their teacher says, patting the boy on the back as he makes his way back over to his seat. "Is there anyone else that wants to perform something for the week?"

There was a silence for a few long seconds around the class, Rachel bowed her head as she remembered that James didn't want to perform; sure she'd love to hear him get involved and sing something for Santana but she couldn't blame him, not after their conversation.

"Yeah I do Mr Schuster" Rachel raised her head and looked at her boyfriend as he stood from his seat, giving her hand a quick squeeze before releasing it as he walked towards the middle of the room. Rachel glanced around and met Sam's gaze who was wearing an equally confused and surprised look on his face.

She watches as James made his way over to the piano and murmured something to Brad, who nodded and stood up; freeing up the instrument for him. James took a breath and turned around; "I know I haven't known you as long as these guys have Santana…but I'd like to think that we're friends; and as someone told me, when your friends need you, you do something to help them. So, this is for you and just remember don't let what other people say about you affect you because you're stronger than that"

Rachel shifts, sitting up in her seat, as she watches James sit down at the piano, rolling his fingers over the keys a few times before he coughs and starts playing;

You shout it out
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized
But all your bullets ricochet
Shoot me down, but I get up

Watching him play the piano has always been one of the most enjoyable things in the time she's known him; his voice strong and confident as his hands dance over the keys gracefully almost like a dancer. Rachel glances around the room and seeing most of the glee club memorised by his performance. Smiling proudly, she faces the front again and watches as James' shoulder move as he plays,

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away

You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium

Cut me down
But it's you who'll have further to fall
Ghost town and haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud not saying much

James glances towards Santana as he finishes the singing the last words before the chorus, a small smile sitting on his face before he turns back to looking at the keys; Rachel followed where he had been looking, seeing a tear in Santana's eyes and Rachel sniffs as well, releasing that her boyfriends beautiful voice has her along with many others struggling to contain themselves.

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away

You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium

Rachel can't help but grin as she hears him hold onto the note, his voice so strong and clear; it's been months since she heard him sing so powerfully and emotionally, it reminds her just how lucky she's counted herself to b e with the boy this beautiful gift belonged to.

Stone-hard, machine gun
Firing at the ones who run
Stone-hard as bulletproof glass

You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
I am titanium

She can tell he's having run with the song, running the chords as he finishes the last verse; the entire room is brought to their feet clapping when he finishes and bows his, a smile on his face before he turns and stands from his seat; making his way over to Santana and giving her a small smile. Satana dabs her eyes with the back of her hand before moving forward and hugging him. Rachel can't help but grin at her boyfriend as she watches him give Santana a warm embrace before they pull back.

Rachel clasps her hands together in front of her mouth, watchingames with a huge amount of pride in her eyes as their gaze met across the choir room. He continued to amaze her and she couldn't believe how much she loved him. He winked at her across the class and Rachel was so happy that he was there with her.

"That was beautiful, James, truly beautiful" Shelby remarks with a warm tone.

"I agree, thank you for sharing that with us" Mr Schuster adds, nodding his head approvingly.

…..

"Where did you even get the idea to slow the song like that?" Kurt asked.

Rachel was sat next to her boyfriend wearing a proud smile on her face, holding his hand tightly in her lap. A group of them had gone out after Glee club to a pizza place; Blaine, Kurt, Sam and Tina had joined herself and James for a quiet meal together. They'd been in the restaurant for around a quarter of an hour and had been talking about the girl music week and the songs that'd been sung. Rachel, like most of the others had been pleasantly shocked by James' adaption of a song.

"I found the sheet music online" James shrugged "I spent last night looking for it and well Ive always been at learning songs on a Piano quickly so"

"It was perfect" Rachel says proudly, kissing his cheek as he smiles warmly at her.

"Thanks babe" James murmurs and winks at her.

"How excited are you about the election, Kurt?" Tina asks kindly "It's only two days away! You must be nervous right?"

"I am incredibly nervous!" Kurt replies with a small smile "It's so strange that everything I've been working towards relies on this, I really, really hope that I win"

"Don't worry about I" Blaine says, soothingly rubbing Kurt's shoulder. "We all know how amazing you are and the school is going to see that as well when they go to vote"

"Fat chance of that" Kurt sighs "With all the stuff Brittany has been saying and even with what Rachel did at the debate, I'm not sure its going to be enough"

"You can't give up buddy" James says reassuringly "Jacob Ben Israel's polls aren't the important thing in this, or even the most truthful regardless of what he says"

"I know but it's just so disheartening to see what she is doing and what I'm doing" Kurt says looking visibly disappointed and exhausted by it all"

She feels horrible for him, thinking about how she could have spent the last month campaigning for her best friend rather than for her own campaign and what difference that could have made; but even now they'd made up, she couldn't help her thoughts lingering on Kurt's words to her the other day about how far he was willing to go, how much that this meant to him.

Rachel squeezes her best friends hand, giving him a warm smile before saying "We're all going to do whatever we can to make sure you win"

Kurt gave her a thankful smile before asking Sam how he was settling back into the McKinley high now that he'd transferred back to Ohio. The six of them spent around another hour and a half in the pizza place before they hugged and went their different ways.

James' mom was still in Oregon for a few more days and Sam was staying at Mike's that night meaning, that much to Rachel's delight, James was going to be sleeping at her house. She couldn't keep the smile on her face as they got home and spent a short amount of time with her Dads before she whisked her boyfriend upstairs. The two of them hadn't slept together in the same bed for several days and she had missed spending that alone time in his arms immensely.

She was sat on her bed watching him out of the corner of her eye as he pulled his jumper and t-shirt over his head, exposing his upper body to her. She couldn't help the instinctive hitch in her breath or the way she licked her lips as he walked towards her and picked up his sleeping shirt before climbing into bed next to her.

Trying to push those thoughts out of her mind, which had admittedly become increasingly harder over the past few weeks; where their more intimate moments had been more frequent, Rachel turned and led against him, leaning her head on his chest as she snaked an arm across his waist and cuddled close to him.

A smile covered her lips as she felt him press a soft kiss against her forehead before he rested his own head against hers. Sighing contentedly, she held on to him closer as they watched TV, though her own thoughts were drifting to James' performance earlier; it had surprised her, considering that he had seemed so angry about the Glee club and everything going on within that. She truly hadn't expected him to turn around and get involved in Finn's girl music week after his outburst but like always, James had surprised and impressed her with his kind heart that she loved so much.

Lifting her head of his chest, she bit her lip as she observed him; a smile growing on his face for a couple of minutes before he turned and gazed at her with an amused look. "You're staring at me"

"You're amazing" She murmurs in response, grinning at him as he frowns in confusion

"No you're amazing" He replies, leaning forward to kiss her. Rachel moans softly at the contact before nuzzling his nose with hers.

"Today especially" She says "With singing for Santana, I'm so proud of you for doing that"

"It wasn't fair of me, to take out my frustration on her" He replies, his hand coming to stroke her neck as carefully as he always did, fingertips brushing gently over her skin. "No matter what I'm feeling towards Finn and the Glee club; Santana has been good to me since I transferred and you were right, it's good to something for a friend. Thank you"

"Love you" She murmurs, feeling her heart well as he kisses her again. "I promise that things will be better; after sectionals we'll sing together I promise that I'll make sure of it"

"I know you will" He replies with a smile. "And I want to sing with you so badly in Glee, its selfish but I think we'd be unstoppable baby"

"I think so too" She nods "I promise to try to get us to sing together, but one thing I'll guarantee is that I'm going to make sure you never feel so alienated again and you feel important because you're the most important person in my life James"

"You're mine too" He replies with a soft voice before he leans down and captures her lips again; causing her to moan as she feels the expression of how much they mean to each other and she pulls him closer, showing him that she loves him.

"I love you James"

"And I love you too" He replies with a grin before pulling her into his arms again.

…

A/N : So, Rachel and James have addressed their issues! I think they're in a place where Rachel understands now what James was feeling in the group and just how she's made him feel some times. On the other hand, James is maybe beginning to adapt to the group and If you want to listen to the version of the song then I'll include the link below and also on my profile!

Next chapter is the election, before Charlie makes a reappearance in the story! I got a few messages and reviews a while ago about her and I'm glad to put her back. Sectionals is coming up as well!

watch?v=4-mx4ZP7P2M