„Magnus, it's me again. We're still on for tomorrow, right?"

Thursday. 9:00 am

„So it's Thursday. See you at five at the library."

3:47 pm

„Magnus, it's Alec. Is everything okay? Do you usually ignore your phone like that? I'm just worried. "

4:30 pm

"Okay. So you haven't answered yet. I hope everything is fine. I'll be at the library and I'll bring the laptop. Just...be there?"

"Hello, Clary. Is everything okay?" Alec stepped inside the library. The building was the pride of the University. Placed in the middle of the campus to draw every eye on its ancient, imposing facade. The rest had been modernized years before, but the same old grandeur could be seen in the well mastered combination of marble and glass.

The first thing Alec noticed when he stepped inside was that the library was quieter than usual. There was complete silence, not the usual low murmur of a crowded library. Clary was standing at Luke's office and she looked very distracted.

Alec had to repeat his question to be heard by Clary.

"Oh, Alec. I'm sorry. I was thinking about something. How are you?"

"Just the usual. I came to study for a project. I'm actually waiting for someone." As he spoke Alec turned his head around, as though Magnus would appear in any moment.

"Oh, yes. Actually the reading room is closed for today. If you want a book I can bring it to you, but that's about it."

"Oh, why? Is everything all right?"

Clary gave him a half reassuring smile.

"It's Luke. He couldn't come to work today. I had to step in, but I have a lot of work myself, so we just closed for the day. Can I help you with something? What book do you need?"

She looked eager to change the subject so Alec handed her the piece of paper with five titles of books that could help him and Magnus with the project.

Fifteen Minutes later Clary came back from the History of Art section with three of the books and when Alec saw how much he had to actually read he told Clary to forget about the other two.

One hour and a half later, Alec was still in the same chair, having read only twenty pages from the book he was holding. He couldn't stop checking his phone and frowning at the notification-free screen.

He suddenly caught a glimpse in his peripheral view of the pretty red-headed girl sitting in the chair next to him. She handed him a cup of tea over the table.

"Is that someone not showing up?"

"We – I mean, yes, I guess he's not showing. I mean - that someone is not showing."

"Are you okay?" She smiled while she was talking. It was really calming, but Alec was not the sharing type.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be? No. It's fine. It was just a project thing." He paused for a while. "Are you okay? You seem...off," he added quickly to fill the awkward silence that was beginning to settle. And Alec figured he preferred making small talk with Clary than thinking about why Magnus hadn't showed up yet.

She waved her hands dismissively. "Just something with my mom."

"Is she all right?"

"Not really. But, um – Luke is taking care of her now. So that's why I'm covering for him." She was still frowning, even after she stopped talking.

Alec felt the need to soothe her. "He seems like a really good guy. Luke, I mean. He seems really nice"

"Yeah, he truly is." A shade of a smile appeared on her lips. "He's been around since Simon and I were really little. I still remember how he used to take us to Central Park when Mom needed her privacy to paint. One time – wait do you want to hear about it?"

Talking about her childhood seemed to make Clary really happy. And seeing her like that, with her eyes sparkling and her pimples dipped in the redness of her blush – even though he knew by now he wasn't attracted by girls – he had a strange feeling in his stomach and he could understand why Jace spent his entire time at the party sprawled on a couch next to a red-headed girl.

And with her story, half an hour passed and there was still no sign of Magnus, and when Clary finished telling him about the time she and Simon got lost in Central Park, he decided it was time to go.

After saying his goodbye and returning the books, Alec stepped outside of the building. It was raining. He hesitated for a minute just in time to hear the door opening behind him. It was Clary.

"Hey, Alec. Remember that concert I told you about? Simon's concert?"

It took him a moment. Finally he responded. "Oh, yes definitely. I'll try and bring the whole group. When is it?"

"That would be great. Thank you. Well, um, next Friday. Do you think you can make it?" Her smile was warm, unlike the weather outside. Alec was wearing only a blue T-shirt and he now had goose bumps all over his arms.

"I'll try my best. But I think we'll be there."

She turned around, waving goodbye, but stopped in the last second.

"I'm really sorry for that someone not showing up."

"Yes. So am I." It was very unlike him to talk about these things with people he just met, but unlike him it was to confess to his sister that he kissed a guy – which was also unlike him. But Magnus, Magnus did something to him. The way he smiled when he looked at Alec sometimes during class, or on the hallway, the way he kissed, the way he talked or recite poetry. It was like a riot of color. The way Alec felt when he was around Magnus. There were the butterflies in his stomach, the electricity between them, the passionate kisses and touches that set fire to his skin. And then there was something else Every time he was near Magnus, Alec felt like the whole world fell silent around them. It wasn't like you read about in books, that time stopped only for the two of them and neither did the world spin around so fast you couldn't see clear anymore. No. Being around Magnus felt just right. He could breath again, almost hearing his regular heartbeat in his chest.

He remembered being with Magnus, driving through New York toward his dorm, their knees slightly touching. The way his muscle relaxed when he heard his low, soft voice reciting those verses...

Those words he said in a rush while getting out of a car weren't said without thought. He had found him. A riot that brought him peace.

And now, when Magnus wasn't even answering his phone, it seemed as though the colors faded away. And he hated that he was so dependent. He hated that he didn't know what to make of these feelings, these symptoms taking control over his action like a virus. He hated that Magnus- someone he barely knew – could walk away so easily leaving him struggling.

He stepped in the heavy rain, hoping the never ending pouring drops could wash away these...this all.

8:03 pm

"Okay. This is getting ridiculous. I went to the library. It's closed. So I went to your room here in the campus. And some guy, Raphael I think, kicked me out and said that if you don't return his calls he's gonna kill 'that idiota'. And I'm quoting. Are these voice calls bothering you? I don't -"

"Izzy, call me?"

"Alec, is everything alright?"

"Yes. I mean, no. It's..."

"Alec, hurry up, will you? I'm getting ready for a party!"

"Oh, okay. It's nothing. Just don't make any plans for next Friday night. We have to be somewhere. Tell Jace too."

9:37pm

"Okay, Magnus. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. I'm just worried. I went to your apartment, in Brooklyn and no one answered. Just let me know if you are okay. That's all."

It was passed midnight and Alec still couldn't sleep. All he could think about was how stupid and clingy he might seem to Magnus. He had sent over five messages only to check on him while Magnus was probably hungover after some party and didn't make it to school.

And still he couldn't stop but worry.

And worry he did. Because it was Friday noon and Magnus hadn't given him any sign at all. Alec supposed their date was off. Actually, he supposed their entire thing was off. Magnus couldn't have made it any clearer.

And yet, and yet, and yet...

His entire day had been awful: Izzy was definitely hungover after her party last night, though you could tell only if you knew her very well. She passed by Alec, all bright and shiny, but her smile was just wrong, crooked sideways like she was forcing the corners of her mouth to lift. She told Alec about Max and their mother coming back to New York sometime next week. Then she went back to her last class and off to her room to sleep. Alec had also seen that Raphael guy on the hallway and he turned around immediately. Not because he was afraid or ashamed or anything. No. He was so furious by then he felt like he could punch anything passing by him. His last class had been a complete nightmare. He could barely sit in his chair. When the bell rang, he practically flew from his sit and rushed outside, throwing his school supplies in the back of his car and drove straight to the gym.

The treadmill wasn't fast enough, though his legs were shaking after he finished running, the stairs were too slow and his head was spinning, the weight machine made his arms sore. And only after he finished working with the punching bag did he feel like some of the tension was released. His knuckles were red and blunt. He was sweating and his limbs were vigorously shaking.

Back in the locker room, he was breathing very fast, taking deep gulps of air. Too much, too much his brain was screaming. But he could not ignore the incredible feeling and euphoria that took over his body after a really good workout session.

Back at his dorm, he threw his bag with the sweaty clothes in the bathroom and collapsed on his bed, on top of his sheets.

If this is what it took to make him stop thinking, he was happy about it.

Five minutes later he was fast asleep, his chest rising and falling back regularly.

It was a miracle that he heard the knocks on his door. He threw a glance to the clock: 23:04. Whoever was playing this stupid joke on him, would be punched in the face if he continued knocking.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Who on earth was at his door when it was almost midnight?

Alec tried to ignore the sound and turned over the other side.

Knock.

And that's when it hit him: What if?

He got up.

He took two steps toward the door, hesitantly.

What if?

His heart was in his throat. He had two more steps.

What if?

He couldn't breathe. Hi fingers grabbed the door handle.

He knew who was at the door seconds before he opened it.

Of course. It was him. It was always going to be him, from now on, wasn't it?

"Alec." His lips were visibly trembling, even in the darkened hallway. The only light was coming from Alec's window, a street light placed right outside Alec's room. Its cold light landed on Magnus face and Alec could see the dark circles under his eyes, the too sharpened angles of his face, his mouth which was now a simple straight and pale line.

His hair and shoulders were wet. His breath was sharp. Where had he been?

"I'm so sorry. I am deeply, truly sorry," the man said after what felt like minutes of silence.

Alec opened his mouth and then closed it again. His eyes fell to the floor. He couldn't look at this tired, wet Magnus and still be angry with him. And he needed to be angry: at Magnus, at himself for caring too much, at Izzy for being too busy to be there for him. He needed to be angry or he needed a very good explanation.

"It's fine,"he managed to say. "Actually no, it's not. But I'm too tired right now and so are you. It's almost midnight."

"Please, Alec. I need you to listen to me. Just listen." He didn't give Alec time to make any decisions. The next words flew from Magnus' mouth fast and uncontrollably. "I was gone these two days. I left Thursday at 2 or 3 am and flew all the way to Santa Monica. I was there for a day. I had to wait on a freaking chair more than four hours and then there were... things I had to do and papers to sign and people to meet. I took the next flight home as soon as possible. My battery had died. I called Catarina from the airport and I wanted to call you. I figured you must be waiting for me. But I don't know your number by heart. I'm so, so sorry Alec. I drove as fast as I could and I charged my phone in the car. That's when I listened to all your messages. And I know it's late and you look really tired and I'm sorry to bother you at this hour, but I just wanted you to know that I didn't forget. I never forgot about you, Alec. And I came. To apologize. And to see you."

Magnus was breathing so fast by the time he was finished. His cheeks were flushed and drops of water were falling on the Alec's doormat from his wet hair.

"You should come in and dry your hair." While Alec said those words, he moved away from the door, gesturing for Magnus to enter in his room.

When Magnus passed by him, Alec leaned a little closer and whispered something in his ear. "If nothing else, it ruins your perfectly put together outfit." He couldn't help the laughter that followed that. And to his surprise, Magnus started laughing too. With giggles and snorts at first, and then so loud, his head was thrown back and his stomach was shaking. Alec feared he might wake someone.

"Shh," he said, and without realizing he put his index finger over Magnus' cold lips. They were staying so close (so close). And Magnus smelled like rain and overwhelming Californian heat and airport sweat. It was so hard for Alec to keep himself from kissing him. When his breath was Magnus' breath and their eyes searched for each other. So close.

Magnus lifted his hand and entangled it with Alec's finger, ,lowering their hands and bringing them together.

"Alec."

And Alec closed his eyes. And to Magnus' heartbreak, he shook his head and whispered a soundless "No."

He also took a few steps back, surrounded Magnus and headed for the bathroom. When he came back, the other man was standing still in the same place as before. Alec handed him the towel.

"I should make you some tea. You don't want to catch a cold."

"Alec."

"Can you drive home? Or you want me to?"

"Alec!"

"Magnus, don't!" It came out too sharp, too loud. "Just – don't." The words were almost a whisper again. "It's late, and I can't – I won't – deal with this right now. It's just so much. Too much."

"Alec, talk to me please." This were soothing, reassuring words.

"It's just – you left. And I get it now. I'm not mad anymore. But it made me think. It – we went head in. Actually, head and arms and mouth – all in. We didn't think, and everything was going so fast. And I – I really need to say this. I like you, Magnus. A lot, actually. It's hard to stand next to you and not touch you. And God, that day on the alley, the kiss, and the touching, the breathing. But we don't know each other. We just met. We haven't even gone on our first date yet." Alec stopped and his eyes rested on Magnus. "Magnus, I don't want to crush into you. I want to take it all in. Slowly, carefully...longer." He closed his eyes and sighed heavily, waiting for Magus to say something after this stupid, crazy made-on-the-spot speech. And when he opened them he saw him.

Magns was smiling. Shy and coy, and very, very beautifully. It made Alec smile all the way up to his eyes, which suddenly lit up with happiness and when Magnus saw his smile it made him want to kiss Alec's wrinkles all the way down to his mouth. Then rest his lips over Alec's where he found he liked them the most.

But Alec was right. H e was the one to bring both their feet back on the steady ground. All that flying and falling can make you dizzy. But with Alec it was no more dizziness, but taking, breathing, letting in.

"Alec." They were standing close again, but not like before. Still, his voice was low and deep. "I'm sorry I left." The next words were on the tip of his tongue. But Magnus knew that sharing some things with someone meant burdening them because it was too heavy to carry it all by yourself.

He sighed deeply and it felt as though the air landed in the middle of his chest, where they say those twenty one grams rest inside of you.

"I remember you saying you've found me. But I can get lost so, so easily. So I know sometimes you'll have to keep on finding me." The words trembled on his lips.

When had the courage to look at him, Magnus saw that Alec's eyes were so big, like oceans trapped inside a human body. Alec stared at him for a moment and then he took a few steps closer, putting his arms around Magnus, resting his head on the crook of his neck.

"I'll always come. I promise I'll always come," Magnus whispered against his ear.

"You came."

"Yes, I came. I came to see you."

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec. He was taller than him, so Magnus' head rested perfectly on top of Alec's as they were hugging. He missed him so much. He missed hearing his voice and breathing in his sent. He missed having him so close.

And then Magnus began breathing slowly, trying to pull himself together. His eyes spotted the clock on the wall and he took in a sharp breath. "Alec, it's still Friday,"he said as he drew away from him to look Alec in the eye.

"What?"

Alec turned toward the clock. 23:47

"I don't -"

"I owe you a date."

"Now?"

Magnus didn't answer, but headed for the door, opening it silently while throwing the towel on Alec's bed.

"I'll take care of that later," he said when he heard Alec's disapproving nod. It was then when he realized Alec's dorm room

was in perfect order. But he had no time for that. He had less then fifteen minutes to make it to that place. And he still had to stop somewhere on the way.

"You're taking me to the hospital on our first date?"

"Catarina works here. On Fridays she's the night shift. I have to take something from her." Before he stepped out of the car, he turned toward Alec, grinning. "Are you grumpy when you're tired?"

Alec laughed and wrinkled his nose toward Magnus. "Be quick."

Starlight – Muse (listen to this!)

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Stop asking so many questions."

"Brooklyn?"

"Hey, slow down, Sherlock. I want it to be a surprise."

Alec's eyes were wondering on the never sleeping city as they were crossing the bridge. And then his head snapped in the direction of the radio when he heard the song.

His smile was so wide it drove Magnus crazy.

"Louder," Alec said in a whisper, his mouth shaping each letter perfectly.

Magnus pressed a few buttons and while they were crossing the bridge, the music was blasting through the speakers and the roof suddenly disappeared.

Alec's eyes widened as the sky above the so glowing and so alive New York was right above him.

He couldn't stop smiling and then laughing so loud, his chest was shaking.

"Our hopes and expectations,"he shouted toward the starless sky.

Magnus looked at him in awe and surprise before turning his eyes back on the road. Alec's head was thrown back, his eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, black hair flying in his face. And then his arms were thrown into the air, his chest rising fast as he breathed and for a moment Magnus thought the blue-eyed boy might fly away.

Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms

The city was going by so fast.

I just wanted to hold

Everything was a riot of color and blinding light.

You in my arms

Two boys, one with the smell of sand and Californian sun on his skin and a beautiful smile all over his face and the other smiling and feeling so alive, while the air of his city was rushing so fast around him, he could hardly breathe.

A/N: O, God, I've missed these boys and all the other characters so much. But I'm back, and my mind is full of crazy ideas and my hands are dying to write them down. Let's hope it lasts. See you soon (I hope) with the next chapter which is their date. But. First. Review, my darlings. Also, listen to that song while reading.

Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter.