TRAINING GROUND 7 08:00
"Yo Sakura-Chan, Sasgay-Chan, how's it hangin'?"
"Slightly to the left on a Tuesday Dobe"
"NARU-BAKA WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Sakura runs to punch Naruto but misses and makes a crater in the ground instead.
"Sakura-Chan why are you trying to kill me?!?!?!"
'Was she always this strong? How hard is the dobes head?'
"Eh?? That'sthe normal amount of power I use though. Naruto how thick is your head? Did I punch the stupid into you?"
"Hahahahaha Sakura-Chan dont be silly, I was born this way for slapstick comedy and horrific character design."
With the usual interactions out of the way they waited for their teacher to show up.
08:30
"WHERE IS THIS GUY?!?!" Sasuke and Naruto just hid in the furthest tree away from Sakura, and pretended the fire coming from behind her wasn't real.
09:30
"First I'll grab him by his shitty silvery hair, and shove it so far up his ass he'll think hes Orochimaru. Then I'll rip his arms off and play his ribs like a xylophone." Sakura ranted about how she would kill her new sensei.
"Uhhh.. Sasuke what do we do?"
"Shut up dobe she can smell fear."
11:00
"Hello Shitheads your glorious sensei has arrived just on time!" Kakashi said with his head in his book.
"Uhhh.. Kids??"
"What's this horrific feeling of trepidation I have?" only to look up in a tree to see Naruto and Sasuke holding each other in fear. At the other end of the training field, if he squinted just right. Yep half of the forest was on fire and a trench had seemingly been punched into the ground.
"Hmmm wonder what could've caused that?" He didn't have much time to ponder on his thought however, as a boulder the size of a house flew by his head.
"WHERE WERE YOU?!" Sakura missiled towards Kakashi hoping to exact revenge. As she was about to get her hands on his head she tasted dirt. She hit the ground, hard.
"Yeah, we're having none of that. Kakashi replied calmly, now sitting on a very subdued Sakura.
"Has the demon gone? Are we safe?"
"Maa maa Naruto-kun what's to fear, your unbeatable sensei is here!"
Naruto and Sasuke jumped out of the tree but not without shoving each other and glaring the other way. The genin made their way over to their now downed teammate and Sensei to be.
"So Kaka-sensei what's the test?"
"Not your sensei yet Naruto, you still need to pass for that luxury. Now listen closely as I'll only say it once. You have until noon to take these two bells off of me, the person without a bell will be sent back to the academy. If you fail to retrieve any of the bells at all you won't have to worry about the academy, as I'll remove you from the programme completely. You understand that? Oh by the way, come at me with the intent to kill, otherwise you don't stand a chance."
Sakura's grin grew positively murderous. "Don't worry sensei, that won't be a problem, not at all."
"Alright, with that said, your exam starts, NOW!"
As one all three of them scattered into the trees and bushes surrounding Kakashi. It looked like all pretences of the planning they had done last night had gone to waste.
That was until Naruto casually strolled out of the forest and smirked at Kakashi. "Get ready to give up those bells Sensei! The future Hokage can't lose to some dumb test." Naruto boasted loudly.
"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"
100's of Narutos entered the clearing. Seemingly popping up out of everywhere.
"Charge! Those bells will be mine!"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow, put his book into his pocket. Smiled and... closed his eye?
'Tch just like the rest of them, I'll show him to not take me seriously, dattebayo!'
All the Narutos in the field swarmed kakashi, it seemed his plan had worked, until all of a sudden, it didn't.
One by one Naruto clones started disappearing, dying so fast they couldn't register what had hit them. They almost reached kakashi and all of a sudden they were gone. it happened in an instant, so fast you'd almost miss it.
Small blue needles were coming out Kakashi's body at an alarming rate. Within seconds a veritable army of blonde midgets had been reduced to a mere handful.
"What, what just happened?" Naruto questioned fearfully.
"Whatever do you mean genin-kun, your clones were unorganized and ended up hitting each other most of the time." Kakashi said nonchalantly, as if he hadn't just potentially murdered hundreds of his student to be.
"Alright time for plan B!"
"What would that be?"
"Misdirection." came a voice from behind him.
Kakashi tried to turn in time but by then it was already too late, he felt an arm go across his throat and SQUEEZE.
"Now Teme, Sakura-Chan grab the bells!"
Sasuke and Sakura rushed towards the seemingly incapacitated man, Sasuke within a fingertips reach.
"Nice try, but no."
Was all they heard before their world turned into a flash of brightness and pain.
They woke up minutes later tied to a stump with sore eyes and burning headaches.
"Urgh... What was that?" Naruto questioned pitifully.
"Dobe how are you even able to move after that, what are you made of?"
Sakura was still passed out on her side of the stump, never having experienced such pain.
A few more minutes passed before she came to. "Naruto? Sasuke-kun? what just happened??"
"I think I can answer that question for you shithead #3."
"AHHHHH" all 3 genins shouted, not having sensed Kakashi appear.
"What happened was, 3 wannabe genin took on one of the most elite shinobi in the elemental nations and nearly got him. It would have worked as well, except for the fact I'm simply better than that."
"Sensei, you said elemental nations. Don't you mean konoha?" Sakura questioned, having read what was said of her sensei in an old bingo book she found in the library.
"Sakura what you've got to realise is. I'm currently the second strongest shinobi in this village. Don't let my aloof nature fool you. the bingo book only knows what I want it to know about me. The more people underestimate me the better."
"Sensei how come you are second best?" Naruto asked thinking how he'd become so good at such a young age.
"Because dear Naruto-chan, the Sandaime is in the simplest terms, an absolute monster. He is so strong it goes beyond comprehension. He was raised by monsters, thrust into a bloody world with the strongest Kage of their time, and came out known as the god of Shinobi."
"Woah, the old man really is strong huh?"
"More than you know shithead. If you even want to pretend to be as strong as him you're gonna need to get strong. Fast. Speaking of, you three surprised me. Even though I beat you and none of you got any bells, I have to begrudgingly admit you passed my test, even if it was unintentional."
"What do you mean Sensei?"
"What I mean Sakura, is that you've passed my test. You are now officialy genin under my command. The first ever team to meet my high expectations."
"Yatta! Did ya hear that guys we're genin now!" Naruto cheered
Sakura laughed and even Sasuke couldnt hold back his cool smirk of smugness.
'One step closer to beating my psychopath brother and avenging my clan.'
'Haha now im officially on a team with Sasuke-kun and I can consentually make him marry me, or I could become a useful member of my team with my latent strength and get some severely needed character development. Ah who am I kidding trophy wife life for me'
'Just you wait Old Man, im coming for that hat. No matter how monstously strong you are.'
"Alright Kiddies I have to go report to the Hokage. I'll see you here 08:00 sharp. If you're late you get hurt, and trust me, you don't want me to actually try."
With that cheerful message Kakashi dissapears in a swirl of electricity.
"Man whats up with him?"
"I told you already, dont question him, S-rank rememeber?"
"ALRIGHT GUYS TEAM BONDING TIME!"
'Not again Naruto!' Sasuke and Sakura cried as they were dragged to Ichiraku's.
HOKAGE TOWER
"Hello Kakashi how nice of you to join us. We've only been waiting for 3 hours."
"Mah no problem Hokage-Sama. I thought I'd come a bit early this time!" Kakashi said with a laugh, his head stuck in the infamous icha icha makeout series volume 3.
"Kakashi I know you finished your exam at just a bit after noon, so why are you still 3 hours late?"
"I had to help an old lady across the road Hokage-Sama."
Hiruzens eyes took a sharper not at that. "Of course Kakashi, we'll discuss it at a later date."
"Hey what gives how come Kakashi gets to be late?!" some poor side character jounin who's only in the story for comedic effect complained from the back.
All of a sudden said Jounins world turned cold and dark, all except for one eerie eye staring at him from the centre of this dispairing wall of pain and sorrow.
"What was that? Jounin?"
"Kakashi, stand down, now."
"Of course hokage-sama."
All of a sudden he could breathe again. 'What in all that is holy was that?' Random Jounin #1 looked at the back of kakashi only to keel over and nearly vomit in fear. 'Is that the distance between me and that man? A soldier made in war, already as strong as I am now when he was 12?'
The thought made him subconsciously shiver. 'Better not speak up in the same room as him again.'
Back to the main characters*
"So Kakashi-kun, how did team 7 fare?"
"They almost got me Sandaime-sama."
"Really now?" This caught Hiruzens attention. "A jounin of your calibre surely should've been able to handle three measly genin hopefuls."
Kakashi let the implication roll off him like he had countless times before and replied." They surprised me, narutos chakra levels and strength are off the charts. If it was any of these other fodder you call jounin they may have been beaten."
Sarutobi smirked, how could he not, the whole room was riled up by Kakashis words, it didnt make him wrong, truly only he and Gai were capable of standing on the front line along side him. The rest were merely delays for the monsters of the world that hid in the shadows.
"Your verdict"
"Rough around the edges, but they pass."
Hiruzen adopted a stern visage."Break them Kakashi, mold them into the sword and shield this village needs. As you said the standards in this village are dropping, we need this generatiom to surpass the previous."
"Oi Hokage-Sama isnt that a bit harsh?"
"Urusai! you're not here for screen time, you're here to make up numbers, now go and do a mission or something. Bastard."
"You're all dismissed, Kakashi stay back and tell me about why you had to help that old woman."
The room dispersed until only Kakashi and the Sandaime were left.
"Here's my report Sandaime-Sama."
TRAINING GROUND 7 09:00
"HE'S LATE AGAIN?!?!?"
Naruto and sasuke hid in their trusty tree fearing for their lives.
"Oi Teme, is it true you're an Uke?"
"..."
"Teme?" Naruto turned to sasuke only to see a fist coming towards his head.
"AHHHHHH" he fell from the tree, however the pain wasnt his concern at the moment.
"So that's where you've been hiding. Come closer Naru-baka, I only want to vent my frustrations on you!"
Naruto slowly turned his head over his shoulder and saw... *DEATH* He started running, thank god for his jinchuuriki toughness or Sakura may have just killed him.
*10:00*
The scene Kakashi walked into was Sasuke crying up in a tree and vigurously rubbing a branch, a panting Sakura and Naruto twitching in a crater. 'Hmmm why is the hyuuga princess on the edge of the training ground. Probably no reason'
"Yo shitheads I'm here on time yet again!"
Sakura saw red.
So thats chapter 3, still dont know where I'm going with this. To all the reviewers, fuck you I'll fight you IRL anyway dont forget to leave a review, like, comment, hit the bell button and fist me in the ass.
BLM!
SEE YA NEXT TIIIIMEEE!