Author's Note: This is a bit of wishful thinking based on the promos for 04x03. Based on other spoilers, it is clear that this is AU, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Thank you to Moozanna for the original idea for this one!
"If I lose my career here today, I don't think I'll be able to stay clean," Robert admitted to Richard as he waited for the commission chairperson to call him back into the barn.
The members of the commission had listened to the testimony and asked their questions. Now they were deliberating and would soon notify Robert of his fate. Richard sat on the steps, while Robert paced nervously back and forth. The testimony from Emmett and Ben had been tough to hear, but fair. They both explained what they knew about Robert's drug use and theft, but did so without any malice. Richard served as a character witness, explaining that Robert had been going to daily Narcotics Anonymous meetings, as he planned to complete 90 meetings in 90 days, and that he had been helping Robert as he worked through the "12 Steps." Richard was also able to speak as a doctor, detail the severity of the pain associated with complex regional pain syndrome, and explain why people with chronic pain might take extreme, sometimes illegal, measures to manage the pain. Robert appreciated what he had said, but he wasn't sure it would be enough, especially after former chief Dixon fabricated some of the details of the discussion that occurred when Robert admitted to the theft of the fentanyl. It was clear that Dixon knew he was going down, and he was going to do his best to take Robert down with him.
"Why do you want to stay clean?" Richard asked as Robert continued to pace in the small space.
Robert paused, and sat down next to Richard. At first, the question seemed simple, and he was tempted to respond with a glib answer. He wanted to stay clean so he could be clean. He didn't want to be an addict. He paused for a moment. As he reflected on the question, and what he had learned about addiction from the meetings and working the steps, he knew the answer was much more complex and nuanced. He also knew that Richard wouldn't hesitate to call him out if he attempted to give a response that was anything less than truthful. While Robert didn't always appreciate how Richard pushed him to consider the uncomfortable realities of his choices, he knew that Richard's only goal was to help him stay clean.
Robert took a deep breath and began to answer the question: "When I started using, I let myself down, I let my firefighters down, and I let my friends down. I allowed myself to use my pain as an excuse to do things that I knew were wrong, and I did them anyway. I also know that if I start using again, there's a pretty good chance I could end up dead. I was lucky that Emmett found me when he did, or I might not be here today. I want to live. I want to figure out what the next chapter of my life will be, and I want to be with Andy."
When Robert paused to collect his thoughts, Richard responded with a simple, "Ok."
"Ok?" Robert responded with a sardonic chuckle. He had opened himself up to Richard and was honestly hoping for some sage advice that would help him stay away from the narcotics he might crave, especially if the commission did not find in his favor, and all he got was an "ok."
"Yeah, ok," Richard responded. "You're in a much better place than you were when you originally took the drugs. When you walk out of that room after they've announced your fate, I'll still be here. You can talk to me. We'll attend a meeting…hell, we'll attend 10 meetings if it helps. You won't get rid of me until we're both sure you can stay clean. And then, you'll wake up again tomorrow, with one more day of sobriety under your belt, and we'll do it all again if we have to."
Robert was momentarily speechless. Until a few weeks ago, he hadn't even met Richard Webber, and now he was doing whatever he could to keep Robert away from drugs.
"Thank you, Richard," Robert said. He knew he should say more, but for the moment he hoped that the sincerity of his words was enough to convey how much Richard's support meant to him.
"Oh, and whatever happens here today, I think you should ask Andy to come home with you," Richard said with a small grin. "Keep going to meetings, and you and I will keep working the steps, but that'll give you one more person who is fighting for you."
"Really?" Robert asked, not quite ready to believe it could be so easy.
"Yeah," Richard confirmed. "Dr. Shepherd was worried that if you only stayed clean for Andy, you would use again the moment you two fought. You had to figure out how to be clean for you, and based on what you just said, I think you're there."
Before Robert or Richard could say anything else, the door to the barn opened and the commission chairperson asked Robert to come back in. He took a deep breath, buttoned his suit jacket, and entered the barn, the door shutting behind him.
Richard sat on the steps as he waited, and as he did, the various Station 19 firefighters emerged from wherever they had been passing the time as the drama unfolded around them. Richard, of course, knew Ben, who quickly introduced him to the rest of the A-shift firefighters. They were all there, except for Andy, who, Vic mentioned, was currently by herself in her bunk. Once introductions were complete, they all stood around quietly; no one was in the mood for small talk.
Thankfully, the wait was a short one, and the members of the commission soon exited from the barn and out the front door. The members of the A shift, Maya, and Richard all attempted to read their faces in an attempt to determine the outcome, but they were forced to wait for Robert to return to the lobby. As he did, and he saw the group assembled, he grinned slightly before announcing: "I'll be on probation for six months, subject to random drug tests, and if he is willing to put up with me a little longer, Dr. Webber will write quarterly reports on my progress, but I'll be back as battalion chief within a few days."
Dr. Webber nodded his agreement and moved to shake Robert's hand as the rest of the team shared their congratulations.
Andy came down the stairs as soon as she heard the sound of commotion in the lobby. She paused at the top of the stairs, watching the scene below her unfold. Robert, either noticing the movement or sensing her presence, looked up and read the unspoken question in her eyes. He smiled slightly and nodded. It was all over.
Andy made quick work of the remaining stairs, and within moments she was wrapped in Robert's tight embrace. She knew she shouldn't; they had weeks before they were allowed to be back together, and this would just make separating again harder. As his strong arms enveloped her, Andy let out the breath she didn't even realize she had been holding. The separation had been hard, but not awful. She had found some joy in time with her extended biological family, and her family at the station, but the entire time something had been missing. While she knew it was temporary, she was going to enjoy this moment of wholeness.
"Come home," Robert whispered in Andy's ear. "Today. I don't want to spend another day without you."
Andy pulled away slightly so that she could look at her husband. She wanted nothing more than to go home, but she also didn't want to do anything to jeopardize his sobriety.
"I spoke with Richard about it," Robert continued. "He agreed that it would be ok. I'll keep attending meetings every day until I get to 90 meetings and 90 days, and we're going to keep working the steps together, but we both think it'll be ok if I finish these last few weeks with you as part of my support system."
Andy couldn't be more relieved. She wanted nothing more than to be home with her husband, but after a moment reality hit. She looked down at her clothing, her uniform. Despite the craziness of the day, she was still scheduled to work until 7 a.m. the next day. "As much as I'd like to go home with you right now, I'm on duty," she explained with a rueful smile.
Ben, who was standing close enough to hear the end of their conversation spoke quickly. "I took the day off so I could testify," he said. "If it's ok with Maya, I can finish your shift for you."
Andy, not usually much of a hugger with people who weren't family, separated from her husband for a moment, and gave Ben a big hug. "Thank you, Ben," she said sincerely. "For everything."
"Six feet," Travis piped up, not missing a chance to lighten the mood a little, and Andy and Ben both chuckled as they separated.
From there, Andy walked over to Maya who was hanging out near her office. "Would it be ok if Ben covered the rest of my shift?"
Maya hadn't heard the conversation but had witnessed enough of the interactions to figure out what was going on. She pretended to ponder the question for a moment longer than necessary, and when Andy gave her a pointed look, she answered, "Yeah, that would be fine."
As Andy turned to walk away, Maya called her back. "Andy…"
Andy looked at her friend who had a somewhat goofy grin on her face. Maya glanced quickly between Robert and Andy, and with a bit of singsong voice added: "Have fun."
"Maya!" Andy scolded as she blushed, the meaning of Maya's words clear to everyone who was listening.