Chapter 4: Uncanny Similarities
The next few weeks passed uneventfully. Brixton was doing well in all of her classes and was thoroughly enjoying assisting Professor Snape in teaching the first years. The two of them had seemed to find a comfortable rhythm in working together and were getting a lot of potions that the hospital wing needed churned out.
Brixton was spending what little time she had left in her days to study and visit with her friends from Gryffindor House. She was also spending a lot of her time avoiding Rikkon Brisbane. He was a seventh year Ravenclaw student who had been attempting to woo her since their fourth year. Unfortunately for Brixton he was getting more and more insistent and was beginning to be quite forceful. He had left a bruise on her arm earlier in the week that was still hurting. Instead of mentioning it to any of her friends Brixton just kept quiet and tried to avoid the boy as much as possible. She simply felt that there were much more important things in the world for everyone to focus on instead of some prat's little crush.
Because of this she was actually happy to see Rikkon and the rest of the seventh years leaving for Hogsmead. She had settled in next to a tree and waved goodbye to her friends as she opened up one of the potions books from the restricted section of the library that Professor Snape had instructed her to study. The cool breeze and the rustling of leaves was a pleasant comfort to Brixton. It was a reminder that the holidays were coming and although she had nowhere to go she always enjoyed the holiday season.
Suddenly a shadow was cast over her book causing Brixton to jump. She dropped the book she had been reading onto the ground and looked up. Professor Snape stood over her and frowned apologetically, "I am sorry. I did not mean to frighten you." He bent down and picked up the book, dusted it off, and passed it back to Brixton. "Why aren't you joining your friends at Hogsmead?" he asked her.
"I've never been allowed to go to Hogsmead. I hear it's a lovely place though." She smiled up at her professor. "Would you like to sit down, sir? I was just going over some of the potions that you have planned for us to brew this year."
Severus hesitated a little before letting out a small chuckle, "Ever the eager study I see. Yes, I think I will have a seat for a little while. I am just coming back from taking some potions to Madame Pomfrey."
The courtyard was very quiet as almost all the seventh years had gone to Hogsmead and the other students were at class. This hour was actually Professor Snape's seventh year class so he had some free time. He awkwardly shifted to sit on the ground near Brixton. They sat in silence for several minutes with neither of them truly knowing what to say. Brixton had offered for her professor to join her out of sheer politeness and had not actually expected him to sit with her.
Clearing his throat, Severus was clearly uncomfortable. Social interactions had never been one of his strengths. He finally asked, "Brixton, tell me why you aren't able to go to Hogsmead."
She frowned, "Oh that's not something I really want to bore you with. There are much better things to talk about." Severus noted the dark expression that clouded her face. He felt bad for asking, but now it seemed best to encourage her to talk about it. He really hated that he wasn't good with these sorts of things.
"I don't believe you will bore me. In fact, having been your teacher all these years I feel bad not having known that you never get to go to Hogsmead. It is a shame; really it is a 'lovely place' as you put it." He fiddled with the sleeve of his cloak nervously. It was just a simple conversation, but after the war he wasn't sure who he was supposed to be or how he was supposed to act. For nearly two decades he had a role to play and that was gone now. That just left a man with a lot of people who hated and misunderstood him. It didn't help that that wretched woman Rita Skeeter had written that awful and wildly inaccurate book about him. Oddly enough the brazen woman hadn't been bold enough to request an actual interview from the man himself. Not that he would have given her one anyway. He knew she just twisted the truth to make it as sensational as possible. And yet her book had not been nearly as interesting as the truth would have been. It was mostly slander, and at this point in his life Severus was used to that.
This was something that the witch only very rarely talked about and never with much detail. Something about the man and his own miserable upbringing made her feel compelled to share. Brixton shifted a little and sighed, "Okay. My parents were both Muggles who lived in Brixton. As I'm sure you know, a very posh part of London. They had a lot of money and made sure that other people knew it. They were always at grand parties, art exhibits, music festivals. They named me after the district they loved so well. They probably would have given me a very good life had my mother not died giving birth to me. That turned my father to drinking and when he was drinking he was a very cruel man. It became obvious that I was different and that made his outbursts much worse. There were times when the beatings were almost daily. What was worse though was he often called me a freak. When Professor Mcgonagall arrived and explained I was a witch he told me to never come back . I was not welcome in his home again. This obviously leaves no parent or guardian to sign permissions for me to go to Hogsmead. I think he blamed me being a witch on why my mother died. Anyways, because of that I have kind of had to find my own way. I always spend the holidays here at Hogwarts. In the summers I used to go to a distant cousin's house and sleep on the couch. They were nice enough to me, but I wouldn't call us family in the usual sense. This year I have been invited to spend the summer with the Weasleys. Molly and Arthur are such nice people, but I don't want to be a burden. I am hoping that when the school year ends I can apply for the potions position and just stay here. Hogwarts has truly been my only real home in my life. I think that is a big draw of teaching here. I'm rather afraid to leave in many ways"
Her story hit home for Severus and filled him with anger towards any parent that would make their own child feel so unwanted. He debated for a moment on what he wanted to say. His usual disposition would be to not say anything or find an excuse to get out of the conversation. He had been through so much in the wars against Voldemort and was so accustomed to concealing all of his feelings other than disdain. Severus didn't know exactly why but something in his gut told him that this would be a good opportunity to start trying to open up a little more and not be so distant from those around him. So, after a few moments of silence he said, "I'm very sorry that you had to go through such a thing. It seems we have some uncanny similarities, Miss Winchester. My parents were very cruel and neglectful people. My father was an especially poor parent. I'm all too familiar with what a drunken beating feels like as well. After all these years I am unsure why they even had me. I deeply regret the person that they shaped me into being in my youth." He paused; the usual smooth baritone of his voice had gotten even deeper. He looked at the young witch who was watching him intently. "You know, I haven't really talked about my parents in ages. They really were awful people and I wish that I hadn't allowed them to turn me into such a miserable person myself." He was surprised at himself for being so open, but after Voldemort's death he was beginning to feel like it was time to keep fewer secrets.
Brixton bit her lip pensively. She didn't want to upset him. It was easy enough to bring out his temper without talking about such a personal thing. In the end she decided speaking was better than not. She reached out and put a hand gently on Severus' shoulder. He jumped a little at the contact, but she just gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before saying, "Forgive me for being so bold, Professor. Maybe you were exactly who you needed to be. If it hadn't been for your interest in the dark arts then you never would have gotten into Voldemort's good graces. You would have never been in a position to help Dumbledore, The Order, and Harry. In fact if you hadn't been such a 'miserable person' in your youth then maybe Harry might not have ever been born." She froze as a flash of anger came into his eyes briefly before settling down. She quietly continued, "I don't know if you realize this or not but if it weren't for you Harry would have never defeated Voldemort. I personally think you have more than made up for any wrongdoings. You are still young if I dare say so, Professor. Thirty-nine if I do the math correctly. You have your whole life ahead of you to be a different kind of person if you so wish." Brixton moved her hand and placed it in her lap. She looked down at the dirt waiting to be reprimanded for being so forward.
Instead Severus grabbed her hand from her lap and gave it a light squeeze before letting it fall back into her lap. She felt his touch linger for long after he had let her hand go. His voice was so soft she was barely able to hear him. "If it weren't for you I wouldn't have a life left to do anything with. I cannot begin to thank you enough for your quick thinking and kindness. You had no reason to believe me anything other than a loyal servant of the Dark Lord. It wasn't until later that you and your friends discovered my true nature. Yet, you saved me all the same. Why?"
"Because it was the right thing to do." Brixton had no other explanation. "We were both just so lucky that I had Blood Replenishing Potions and some blood clotting potions that I came up with myself. There is no way you would have survived without them."
Severus' brow furrowed, "You made your own blood clotting potions and Blood Replenishing Potions? Why would you have those?"
"Well, after Arthur Weasley survived the attack from Nagini I made sure to find out exactly what it was that was helping at St. Mungo's. When I learned that he was drinking Blood Replenishing Potions every hour I knew that that would help if the war came to Hogwarts. The blood clotting concoction I came up with was after figuring out the venom was preventing Arthur's blood from properly clotting causing him such a long and complicated recovery. I made sure to brew as much as I could and supplied Madam Pomfrey with as much as I could as well. She was the one who tested my blood clotting potion and deemed it safe for use. I wanted to be able to help anyone, including myself, which may have the misfortune of encountering the nasty beast. It was a small thing, but something I knew that I could do to help the cause." She smiled up at him, "I don't know if I could have helped you without those potions… especially with how close to the heart the snake struck you."
Severus' hand instinctively went to touch his neck. The scars had hurt for months and were still an angry red color. He was amazed at Brixton's preparedness and intellect. He himself had not thought to do such a thing. Admittedly, it had more to do with his arrogance than anything else. "I'm impressed, Miss Winchester, and forever in your debt."
The witch smiled back at him, "You are in no such thing. However, it seems you are already repaying me with all the extra lessons in Potions. I want more than anything to be able to stay here at Hogwarts after graduation. This just feels like where I belong." The professor's heart leapt a little as she said that. It was a familiar and old feeling. It was a feeling that he had not felt since the falling out with Lily. He quickly shoved the feeling back down and chastised himself internally. You're old enough to be her father, you old bugger. Besides, he felt that he would never and could never love anyone the way he would eternally love Lily. He told himself that this was merely a fleeting feeling as a result of Brixton's unexpected kindness and respect.
Suddenly students began spilling into the walkways surrounding the courtyard. Severus stood quickly still a little shaken from his brief lapse of composure. He offered Brixton a hand up and excused himself. The young witch herself was completely oblivious to what her professor was feeling. She was thinking that their talk had been a very good one. It felt like progress. Maybe it was even a step towards him being able to have a heart to heart with Harry. He very much deserved a conversation about what they had seen in the Pensive. As she gathered her things and headed to her common room to write her Transfiguration paper she hoped that one day before the year was up she might be able to help the two have that much needed chat.
Once she was on her way to her dormitory Brixton glanced down at her hand. It still felt warm and tingly where her professor had squeezed it. She felt a little lightheaded as well. She had always thought the Potions Master was handsome even if he lacked the social skills for common niceties. Since the Battle for Hogwarts and what she had seen in the Pensive she had regarded him as heroic and brave beyond measure. However, this was an entirely new and most decidedly romantic feeling. Something she had never had for anyone. Laughing at herself for being foolish she continued on her way not knowing exactly how real those feelings would soon become.
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