Content Warning: Sexual Assault, Violence, and Language
Chapter 6: Confessions and Curses
The weeks continued passing by and Brixton had been unable to shake the feelings that Professor Snape was giving her. She gave it her best effort to shake it off as nothing more than a schoolgirl crush. To tell the truth she was eighteen and had never felt anything like it before. She knew which boys she thought were handsome and which girls she thought were pretty. Yet no one had ever evoked such feelings. It always hit her when she least expected it. It was the little things like when he would put his hand over hers to demonstrate a specific stirring, whisking, or scraping motion of a bubbling cauldron that had her nearly melting. There were moments when their eyes would meet and he would quickly look away. She wasn't sure what that meant but she was trying her best to convince herself that her feelings were misplaced. She already knew him to be in love with another woman and it didn't matter to Brixton that that woman was long departed. That kind of love was meant to be respected. And yet, her feelings were running wild and she wasn't sure how to get control of herself.
She had hoped that the upcoming Quidditch match would be just the sort of distraction she needed from her misguided feelings. She was oh so very wrong. She had been studying the professor's face from across the pitch where he sat with the other staff. Brixton hoped he was enjoying himself. He always seemed so full of shame and anger except during their private potions lessons. Hermione's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Who are you staring at over there?" her friend inquired.
Brixton gently grabbed Hermione by the hair and tugged her closer so she could whisper in her ear, "Please don't. It would be positively scandalous for everyone to know. It could even ruin my chances at the Potions position if he were to find out."
Hermione's jaw fell open. Always the quick study she had it figured out in an instant. "Okay, but you have to promise to tell me more when we can be alone."
Brixton sighed, "Okay. I promise. Let's go to the Black Lake after this and I will go ahead and tell you." She turned to her other best friend Luna and said, "You might as well come too. If I am going to be admitting this ridiculous business it might as well be at the same time. You both have to swear to secrecy. Not even Ron or Harry can know."
Her friends agreed and they turned back to watch the game. It was a very close game of Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Hermione practically leapt out of her seat clapping every time Ron managed to keep the other team from scoring. Ginny was doing an exceptional job herself. It looked as though Harry had it there at the end, but it was Draco that managed to catch the snitch at the very last second of the game. Without as much as giving Brixton time to applaud the winning team she was whisked away by Hermione and Luna.
Gasping for breath the trio finally made it over to the Black Lake. "Why did we have to come all the way over here just to have a conversation?" Luna asked.
"Because I don't even want those damn portraits to hear anything I have to say," admitted Brixton.
"Okay, spill it. If what I think is going on you are completely mental." Hermione started in on Brixton before they were even able to sit down.
"Well now, that's certainly no way of getting me to talk Hermione." Brixton glared sourly. On the inside though, she knew that her friend was right and that the feelings growing in her by the day were only going to muck up everything.
Luna smiled knowingly and said, "Curious man that one is. Just imagine having lived his life in such secrecy and to be so utterly devoted to a woman so long after her death. Even more, imagine being so loyal to Dumbledore that you would be willing to kill him." She paused, her eyes drifting away from her friends briefly. "Hmm, you did save his life. I personally think it's rather romantic. I can see why you would be so attracted."
"That's the problem though, isn't it?" Hermione chastised. "He is still deeply in love with Harry's mom and you are so much younger than him. And honestly, he's pretty dreadful despite all the good he has done. That's not even to mention you are his student."
"Well if you just think you know everything there is to know what more is there for me to say?" Brixton demanded.
"So you admit it then?" Hermione's brown eyes grew big.
Brixton sighed, "It's not a big deal. It's just a crush. I think. I've never really had a crush before. I just know that I feel all warm inside and my stomach gets all knotted up when we are around each other. He is moody, I will admit, but I don't find him to be dreadful at all."
Hermione frowned, "You are always around each other. You have Double Advanced Potions, you are practically teaching his first year class, and then you have private lessons at the end of the day. How could the two of you possibly be spending more time together?"
Brixton blushed as a particularly vivid image filled her mind. She tried to literally shake the idea out of her head. "It's not like that Hermione. I didn't ask for all this extra time with him because of some stupid crush. I have dreams of teaching that class. That is all I ever wanted. Somehow these stupid childish emotions are getting the best of me. It's like every time he touches me my skin feels electrified."
Now it looked as though Hermione's eyes were going to pop out of her head. "Touches you? Are you out of your mind?! He shouldn't be touching you. That's just improper."
Brixton's eyes flared with anger at the accusation. "Hermione stop. I will say it again. It's not like that. He's offered his hand to help me up once when I was sitting on the ground in the courtyard. He also has guided my hand when we were working together brewing extraordinarily delicate potions. He hasn't done anything to cause me to feel this way and I'm sure if he knew he would be absolutely mortified. That's why I made you two swear to secrecy. I don't want to give anyone one more reason to think badly of him. Professor Snape has been through too much already. The last thing he needs is this kind of scandal to spread through the castle for no good reason. I also desperately don't want him to find out because I am afraid he will stop teaching me and then I will have no shot at the Potions position when the year is up."
"But what do you even like about him?" Hermione pressed on, "He's so grim. I don't think I have ever seen him smile. He is often outright cruel."
Brixton rolled her eyes irritably. "Not everyone can be happy-go-lucky like your dear Ron. I think a lot of his cruelty has come from both inner pain and the role he felt he had to play. You didn't see what I saw in that Pensive. He hasn't been dealt a very happy life. When it came down to it he has always looked out for Harry and the rest of the students here at Hogwarts. But, as a matter of fact, he has smiled at me at least once a day since we began our extra Potions lessons."
"Maybe you just bring out the best in him." Luna chimed in dreamily.
Hermione turned to Luna, "Do you really think this is romantic? He's more than twice our age."
Luna smiled, "Oh, yes. We are so close to graduation that I don't think it will matter. My mother was much younger than my father, you know. It is not unheard of."
"Thank you, Luna." Brixton smiled, "But there isn't going to be anything like that between Professor Snape and myself. Hell, I'm not even allowed to call him by his first name. Can you imagine? 'Miss Winchester?' 'Yes, Professor?' 'Will you kindly go check on our children'!?!" The three young women erupted in laughter and Hermione giggled, "Oh for heaven's sake! I can't even imagine him with children!"
Eventually Hermione relented that a person can't really help how they feel about another. She knew that she and one Ronald Weasley were quite the odd couple. She just hoped for her friend's sake that it would not become the school gossip. "You have to be more careful, Brixton. If Luna and I were able to figure it out within minutes of you looking at the man you are going to have to gain some composure."
Gritting her teeth Brixton had to agree with her friend. "I promise I will be more careful and keep my eyes to myself. I really truly don't want to lose the opportunity of a lifetime over a stupid little crush."
What Brixton did not tell her friends was that as soon as she had put her feelings into words they no longer felt like a 'stupid little crush'. It felt tangible. What on Earth have I gotten myself into? She asked herself as she and her friends made their way back to the castle.
As the weeks kept passing by Brixton couldn't help but feel as though time somehow passes quicker when you aren't fighting an evil Dark Wizard for the sake of humanity. All of her courses were going rather well and she had done her best to keep her word to her friends. She mindfully kept herself from looking for Professor Snape in the Great Hall or anywhere else for that matter. Yet her feelings continued growing. She had begun avoiding his eye contact as much as she could fearful that he might use Legilimency to read her mind if she wasn't careful. Harry had always said that the man could read minds and as it turned out he was extremely gifted in both Occulmency and Legilimency. Although from what Brixton had seen he was extremely gifted in whatever it was he put his mind to.
There was a little more chaos at Hogwarts than the usual hustle and bustle as students prepared to go home for the holidays.
Brixton herself was looking forward to the quiet time that she would be getting without so many students there. In fact, no one from her House ever stayed for the holidays. This meant that she would have fewer prying eyes and less to worry about when it came to concealing her emotions and thoughts.
After what seemed like half an hour after the last of her dorm mates had left for the holiday Brixton was settled atop her bed reading another one of Professor Snape's recommendations from the restricted section. All of a sudden a shadow was cast over the book she was reading. Surprised, Brixton looked up to see none other than Rikkon Brisbane standing over her bed.
"Rikkon you aren't allowed in the girl's dormitory. Please just leave me alone. I don't even know how you got in here, aren't there spells in place to keep you lot out?" Brixton sat straight up her face was hot with anger. She just wanted him to leave her alone. His constant advances were unwanted and at this point disgusting.
Rikkon grabbed the book, briefly glanced at the cover, and tossed it into a corner of the room. "Always have to have your nose in a book, eh Winchester? Oh, there are ways around those silly spells if you are bright enough to figure them out. I figured you would know that being the snotty little prefect that you are. I thought you would be happy to see me. I thought we could use a little alone time before I caught the train home."
The hair on the back of Brixton's neck stood straight up. Rikkon had been bothering her for years, pretty much every time he caught her alone. He had gotten rough with her on a few occasions, but Brixton had never truly been afraid of him before now. His eyes scanned her body like a predator about to devour its prey. She tried to get off the bed from the other side but he was too fast and had her cornered.
"Stop, Rikkon." She tried to sound as forceful as she possibly could. "I mean it. Don't touch me."
"Oh, I will do more than touch you. I will do whatever I want and you will like it. I'm tired of you playing hard to get. It has gotten old. There are plenty of girls in this school who would love to be on my arm. You really need to get with the program before I take one of those sluts up on their offers."
Brixton shuddered, "Please do. I'm not interested."
Rikkon's face grew red with anger. He grabbed her by the throat and pushed her back on the bed. "You always were a stuck up little bitch. I think it's time I taught you a lesson in gratitude. This could have been much more pleasant for you if you had just been nicer to me." He climbed on top of the bed and straddled her with one hand still around her neck. He shoved the other hand under Brixton's shirt and grabbed her right breast so hard that it hurt.
Looking for her wand, Brixton was desperate to get away. She didn't know what to do. Rikkon had been bugging her for years, but nothing this extreme. Unfortunately her wand was lying on her bedside table and was too far away to reach. She would have to try and talk him out of it. Trying to keep the fear out of her voice as best she could Brixton finally spoke. "Rikkon, I will tell. Please stop. You don't want to be expelled. We are too close to graduation. Something like this could ruin your future."
He laughed in her face, "Oh yeah? Who would believe you? Everyone would think you were just another slut who changed their mind. I make perfect marks. And have plenty of friends. That's more than I can say of you."
"Then what do you want from me? Why have you been trying for years?" at this point Brixton was just trying to get him to keep talking. Anything that could buy her some time was worth trying.
"Shut up." It seemed Rikkon was done talking and had taken his hand out of his hand out of her shirt. He quickly ripped her white button-up off of her causing some of the buttons to go flying. With the quick utterance of a spell her bra was gone. Brixton tried to cover herself as best she could but he shoved his wand to her throat and told her to be still. He began undoing his belt.
"I have a boyfriend!" she blurted out without thinking. "He… he's from Durmstrang. We met during the Triwizard Tournament. He's older than us by several years which is why it's been a secret. I swear Rikkon if you don't stop he will kill you. Please just stop."
Rikkon froze his eyes still on her naked chest. "You're full of shit." He practically spat at her.
"No, I'm not. His name is Isak and he really will kill you."
Once again he laughed in her face. "Fine, if you are too good for me I will make sure you are too ugly for anyone else." He moved the wand from her throat to the center of her left collar bone, pressed it in hard, and uttered a curse. Immediately hot searing pain erupted all over Brixton's chest, shoulders, and back.
She cried out in pain and the sound of her own voice drowned out Rikkon's cruel laughter. Big blood filled boils were spreading across her skin like wildfire. Brixton wasn't entirely sure when Rikkon left, but when she was finally able to open her eyes she was alone. She turned over in the bed and tried to sit up but as she did so several of the boils on her back burst from the pressure. As soon as they burst Brixton could feel them swelling and refilling with blood again. The pain became so unbearable that soon the young witch passed out from the pain.