This chapter took waaaaaaaaay too long and turned out around four thousand words longer than I'd anticipated, but I dunno what I was expecting - I've never been good at predicting how long my chapters will be, so hey. Also, for those who haven't seen, there's a change in chapter three because I'm stupid and messed up when describing Caelum's lightsaber, so I've gone back and corrected that. In the CYOA I created Caelum in, I spent the points to give him what is basically Cal Kestis' splitsaber in Fallen Order, since I love that game, so he can go from a single lightsaber to a saberstaff to Jar'Kai. Just thought I'd mention that.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
I had never been good at handling large amounts of attention, generally speaking, and the way Cirinis, Thalia and Enra practically surrounded me at the bar wouldn't have helped. My sister sat to my right, nursing her glass of Trandoshan ale while Cirinis had taken the stool to my left. Enra was somewhat busy behind the bar, moving around and taking orders as he went, but it was clear that his mind was focused on what was going on with me. Normally the attention, even from family, would have caused me to panic and shut myself off from the conversation.
I had a feeling it was because of my supposedly unique abilities in the Force.
The Moment allowed me to see the present world through the lens of the Force, and I could use my Force Sense to gain accurate information about my surroundings, so long as I knew what I was looking for and what question I wanted to ask. My best guess as to why my ability worked like that was, as Cirinis had explained to me, I was gathering information on a constant basis, but my mind was only able to process so much knowledge at a time. Sensory overload, or something like that. By asking a question or thinking of a specific thing I wanted to know, I was able to filter out the information I didn't want to know. There was always the chance I'd ask the wrong question or word it wrong, but it was better than being paralysed by the sheer knowledge the Force was giving me.
But the part of Force Sense I struggled with the most was how, when my connection to the Force was unobstructed and my mind clear, I'd learn things even without asking to. It wasn't as detailed as when I used my Senses deliberately, but through it I could learn things about people and my surroundings that I really didn't want to.
That had terrified me most my life - it had terrified me this morning!
The feelings that used to drown me, though; they rolled off of me like rain.
Maybe learning that I wasn't some ticking time bomb because of my powers, but rather one of thousands connected to this universal power called the Force, had helped alleviate my fear. I didn't know and honestly, did it really matter?
Living in the past was stupid, and if you spent your time thinking about the future you'd miss the day. I had to live in the moment and have faith in the Force, and in myself. If I could do that, what was there to fear?
Still, all these thoughts of fear and the past and future; they were distracting me right now, and I focused on my connection to the Force, clearing my mind as I felt the ambient energy of the people around me along with the beacons of power flowing from The Lord's Hand and Revenant Five, bright and dark respectively.
Then I took a sip from my glass of water before turning to Cirinis, who was currently fiddling with some weird, handheld device she must've had from before she arrived on Revenant Five. She'd only been around my family, after all, and they didn't have a device like that - I'd know, with my skill in the Force and my penchant for tinkering.
I figured I could use the Force to learn all there was to know about the device, but I didn't know if whatever resistance Force-Users had to Force abilities extended to the objects they were holding as well.
Besides…
"Cirinis? What's that?"
… I could always just ask.
The Jedi glanced at me before setting the device down on the table. I felt her weigh her words for a moment, indecision flaring briefly within her. After a short moment, though, she spoke: "That is a device that can detect any known disease in Republic medical databases, which works by taking a small sample of the lifeform's blood. It's standard issue within the Jedi Order for when we're sent on missions."
I took in Cirinis' words, feeling the truth within them resonating in me, but I didn't think that was the whole truth. Maybe it was my Force Sense passively giving me more information again, or maybe it was plain old human intuition.
Well - maybe not plain human intuition. I only called myself human because there wasn't an easy way to say "human but with blue skin, white hair and gold eyes, along with magic powers." Either way, I knew she was hiding something.
"What else does it do?" I asked, and the Jedi glanced curiously at me.
"It can also recommend the best course of action to take for each different disease, if that's what you're asking?" There was a slight smile on her face, like she'd gone from deliberately hiding something to testing if I could find out for myself, almost.
Without another word, I held my open palm above the bar top and, with a small effort of will, called the device to my hand through the Force. The machine shot into my open hand fast enough that Thalia, sitting in the chair to my right, jerked back to avoid its path. Her chair rocked back, dangerously close to tipping over but she managed to catch herself on the lip of the bar.
I muttered a quick apology, wilting slightly under the glare she was giving me, before focusing my eyes and senses on Cirinis' device. She could have taken the device from me if she wanted to, but she only watched me with an interested expression.
What does this device do that Cirinis isn't telling me?
I asked the Question and information rushed into my mind, and I found myself surprised that something like this was even possible, and annoyed that I hadn't put it together myself.
"This device detects something called Midichlorians", I began, gently tossing it underarm back to Cirinis, and she nodded, prompting me to continue. "According to it, Midichlorians are microscopic organisms that can indicate a person's sensitivity to the Force. It does all the things you listed, at least this model does, but as a Jedi you'd care most about detecting someone's Force Sensitivity, right?"
"It can be a useful tool, that much is certain", she agreed, "but your unique Force Sense, since I imagine it's only giving you information taken from the machine itself, hasn't given you the whole story."
"Why not tell me, then?"
"Curiosity. I wanted to get a feel for how your ability worked. Since only I and the device could possibly tell you about its purpose, I was hoping to see if your Force Sense would infer things or be entirely specific."
"I could've told you that", I explained, before realisation dawned on me. "But that's only why you let me take the device, not why you didn't tell me in the first place."
Cirinis considered that for a moment and I sensed her emotions shift through the Force, before she eventually decided to tell the whole truth. "Midichlorians are a good way to tell how naturally attuned someone is to the Force, along with how fast they could potentially develop their abilities, but that's all they do: indicate potential. There are theories about Midichlorians and their connection to the Living Force, but that's not important right now."
"Hold on, I think I get it", Enra joined in, coming to a stop just ahead of us and gently placing the stack of empty glasses in the sink behind him. He then wiped his hands off on a rag he plucked off the bar top before leaning on it and saying; "You were trying to be discreet so he didn't get a big head?"
Thalia let out a snort as Cirinis answered: "That's about right. I've seen Younglings and even some Padawans comparing Midichlorian counts like that decides how good a Jedi they will become, when that isn't the case at all."
"What makes a 'good' Jedi, then?" Thalia asked, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.
"Courage, kindness, wisdom - traits like that." Cirinis answered. She shook her glass of water, eying her drink as it swirled in the glass. "A Jedi's strength lies in their understanding and connection with the Force; raw power is secondary to that." She threw back her water and handed the empty glass to Enra, before turning back to Thalia and I. "Now, I for one am curious to see Caelum's count, but only if you all consent to it."
"This some sort of legal protection thingy?" Enra questioned.
"It's not in writing, so no. It's more the principle of the matter." The Jedi smiled suddenly, but there was a sad quality to it, and it didn't reach her eyes. "An old friend of mine, he held many of the same beliefs that I do but he was a bit of a maverick, and he was nowhere near as much a stickler for the rules that I am…" She took a deep breath, and I felt her lean on her connection to the Force just that little bit, like I do when I'm trying to rein in my emotions. "Anyways", Cirinis said after a pause, "do any of you object?"
"I'm good with it", Thalia confirmed when the Jedi looked her way, and Enra nodded his consent. "What do you think?" My sister asked me, laying a hand on my forearm.
"What's there to think about?" Cirinis gave me an odd look, and I rushed to correct myself. "It's just a number, right? It won't change anything for me, high or low, because the Force will still be with me." I considered my own words for a second before adding on: "At least I think so - you never know until you try after all."
"Well, it's good to hear that, Caelum." Cirinis said, pressing a couple of the buttons on the device resulting in a small, metal spike popping from the side. "Is everything okay, though? You've been very quiet."
I shrugged, not really sure of myself. "You were talking and I had nothing to say, so I wasn't about to interrupt."
"As long as you're fine", she said with a smile. She held her hand out towards me and I placed mine in her palm. "Hold out your index finger please."
I did so, and she held the machine up to my finger. I watched as lines of text flashed across the small screen, booting up after a moment and settling on the phrase "collect sample", written in Aurebesh, Galactic Basic's alphabet.
A flash of dull pain shot up my finger as the device pricked me and I grimaced despite myself, and after a moment Cirinis let go of my hand. I pulled away and looked around for a tissue, glancing up and down the length of the bar while the Jedi began pressing buttons on the device.
There weren't any clean tissues I could see, so I called on my unique Force Sense and checked to see if there were any tucked away nearby. The locations of any and all wipes flowed into my mind and I focused on the set underneath the sink, right where Enra was standing.
"Could you step to the side, please?" I asked, waving at him to grab his attention. Enra stepped to the side, shooting a questioning look to Thalia, but she was too focused on whatever Cirinis was doing to notice.
Holding my palm open towards the roof, I focused the energy that connected me to the material world. I let my eyes drift shut and extended my senses outwards and feeling the space between me and my target, gathering my will and letting the Force flow through me. Then, I held the image of what I wanted in my mind and tilted my palm, swiping my fingers and feeling the cabinet door open.
I couldn't see the look on Enra's face at that moment, but I felt his shock through my connection to the Force - he hadn't seen me use my abilities that much since I'd moved to the Lord's Hand, after all. I didn't let it distract me, however, and I refocused my efforts to levitate a wad of tissues out of the cupboard and into my waiting hand.
"Thank you", I opened my eyes and said to him, shutting the cupboard door with a gesture and thought. I then laid the stack of wipes on the counter, unfolding one and loosely wrapping it around my bleeding finger.
A dinging sound rang from my left, sounding three times in quick succession, and I turned to see Cirinis holding the device and staring into the screen. I couldn't read what it said from where I was sitting, but her eyes narrowed at whatever the device had shown her.
"This can't be right…" She muttered, and I felt my sister's concern from beside me.
"Everything alright?" Thalia enquired as she got up from her stool, moving to stand beside the Jedi. She peered over her shoulder, reading from the device. "'Count unreadable'? The hell's that mean?"
Huh!?
I hopped off my stool and hurried over to Cirinis, my surrogate Father doing the same from behind the bar.
"It must be a mistake", the Jedi explained, her eyes meeting mine for a fleeting moment, and for a moment I swore I could see something like disbelief in her eyes, before that same mask of cool indifference slipped back on. "Caelum, can you check if this is in any way damaged at all?"
"Yeah. Can you pass it over?" I asked, and she held out the device for me. I took it and started inspecting the outer casing for any faults we might've missed, but it was in perfect condition. Then I used my Force Sense, asking Questions to check if something was wrong, and when that proved fruitless I even looked into The Moment but nothing came of that, either. It worked perfectly. I handed the device back to Cirinis, saying: "There's nothing wrong with it", as I did.
She received it with a nod, looking it over again. She then turned to Enra. "Have you got a datapad I can borrow?"
He leaned back for a moment, thinking. "I have one 'round back if you need?"
Cirinis considered it for a moment before shaking her head. "No, it's fine." She said, spinning around on her seat and looking over the barroom floor, settling on the table where Naeth and the rest of her companions were at. She got up and walked over to them, gently brushing past Thalia as she went.
My sister watched after her for a moment, then turned back to Enra and I. "Right; I'm lost. Anybody got a clue?"
"Nothing here", Enra said.
"I'm not sure…" I trailed off, watching from across the room as Cirinis started speaking to Vosh in what looked to be hushed whispers, though I had no way of hearing what they were saying from where I was. I could have listened in through the Force, my stance on needless invasion of privacy hadn't changed in the past ten minutes, so I resigned myself to patience.
Still, I didn't have to wait long, because Vosh reached down to his side where he kept his bag and produced a datapad. He handed it to her with a smile and she placed a hand on his shoulder in thanks, before heading back over to us.
At that moment her eyes caught mine, and I suddenly remembered that staring at people was generally considered rude, but she only gave a quick grin - one that didn't reach her eyes. I was the first to break the gaze and turned back toward the bar, resting my forearms on the cool wooden surface as Cirinis sat back down. "I've borrowed Vosh's datapad, so this should help us gain actual, useful information."
"How's that?" Enra asked.
"This model of scanner can process the data it collects which is useful, but it can also be less accurate than if you ran it through something with a bit more processing power." She held up the datapad, shaking it slightly for emphasis. "Processing power which we now have."
Cirinis pressed some more buttons on the scanner, I imagine transferring the data over, and a graph that I wasn't entirely sure how to read popped up on Vosh's datapad. Enra and Thalia couldn't read it either, judging by the perplexed expressions on their faces. The Jedi, however, only closed the datapad and laid it down on the bar. She held her head in her hands for a long moment, obviously processing what she had just read, before looking up and meeting Enra's eyes. "Remember our chat?"
Enra nodded, glancing down at the datapad, clearly considering something, though I don't know what. "This affect that?"
"Heavily."
"Right… Well, Uyos will be here in a bit anyways so why don't you give us the rundown on whatever this is, then we can go from there?"
"Sure." Cirinis agreed, turning in her seat so she could see Thalia and I along with Enra. "I explained Midichlorians to you, at least in concept, but I left a little bit out because I honestly didn't believe it mattered. As it turns out, it does matter, and I honestly don't even know why I'm surprised considering how today's gone."
She clapped her hands together, rubbing her palms as she decided what she was going to say. Eventually, she began: "There's a limit on how many Midichlorians can be detected in a person's cells, because after a certain number they become too saturated with them to really count." She took a moment to pause, looking at the three of us to make sure we were following. No issues presented themselves, however, and she continued. "Right now the limit is twenty thousand, which was discovered shortly after the final war with the Sith, and while efforts have been made to try and find a better way of scanning for Midichlorians, it's kind of a moot point."
"Why's that?" I asked, stepping back into the conversation.
"Midichlorians can only reside within living beings, and in the entire known history of the Jedi there has only ever been one in our order with more than twenty thousand. To put that into perspective our Grandmaster, easily the oldest and most powerful Jedi alive, has around eighteen thousand Midichlorians."
That was really something, wasn't it. I guess that goes to show that strength isn't everything, since there must be Jedi with counts much lower in their order. Still, I wonder what the person with more than twenty thousand must be like, if they were still around that is.
Wait… didn't Cirinis mention something about this back up on the Lord's Hand?
I thought back a couple hours and I recalled the name she had thrown out casually, right before explaining what the Force was to me.
"Skywalker, right? The only Jedi with more than twenty thousand Midichlorians - that's his name." Enra and my sister turned to me, and I elaborated. "Cirinis mentioned him earlier; she called him a Vergence in the Force."
"I remember that", Thalia spoke out, "but what does any of this have to do with Caelum?"
"Anakin Skywalker was found on Tatooine last year, and due to the circumstances of his birth and his sheer potential in the Force, many in the Jedi Order believe him to be the prophesied Chosen One - they who would bring balance to the Force." Cirinis finished, and the three of us had no idea what to say for a moment.
The Chosen One? That sounded pretty important, especially if they were to "bring balance" to the Force, whatever that meant.
"And Caelum, like Skywalker, has an unreadable count of over twenty thousand. Somehow…" She trailed off, sliding the tablet across the bar top to me. Before I could grab it, however, Thalia swiped it off the table and began reading the results.
"So… what? You think my little brother is one of your Chosen Ones? That's ridiculous!"
"I agree wholeheartedly", Cirinis nodded, holding her hands up in surrender briefly. "There's only one Chosen One, and by your own words Caelum doesn't meet the requirements anyways."
"Lots of power in this Force of yours? I thought this whole spiel was about him having too much potential!?"
"No: a Father." Thalia rocked back, eyes wide, but Cirinis pressed on. "You said that there were two corpses on the escape pod when you found him?"
"Yes! But they weren't his parents!"
I flinched at the venom in Thalia's voice, the rage and denial. That wasn't it, though. I'd seen her when she was angry, disappointed, regretful, but never like this. Never so… frustrated with herself.
"You don't believe that", the Jedi said with such finality that there was no room for argument, even if any of us wanted to. "You can lie to yourself, Thalia Horco, but not to me. You don't know for certain, but you've always had your suspicions."
My sister went silent for a long moment, eyes shut with her fists clenched at her sides, trembling. "They weren't his family…" She said, almost a whisper. Then her eyes shot open, and she levelled a fierce glare at Cirinis. "He has a father, a mother and a sister and none of them died in that pod - do you understand me?!"
And the Jedi who had proven damn near implacable for the most part, leaned back in the face of my sister's vitriol and grief. "I understand, and I mean no offence I promise you. The prophecy spoke of a child born of no father, and no matter how you look at it, your brother grew up with a family. All I was trying to say is that your brother has power. Real, genuine power unlike few things I've ever seen."
Their gazes were locked, and for a second I was worried Enra or I would need to intervene, but Thalia looked down and away, fixing her sights on the bottom of her glass.
For a while not a word was said, and the four of us drifted into an uncomfortable silence. After the first two minutes however, I felt a familiar presence on the edge of my senses, someone familiar, and I hopped out of my seat with a huge grin.
Thalia glanced away from her drink for a moment, expression lifting ever so slightly. "Uyos here?"
The presence was moving closer and closer, coming from the direction of the back door of the Falling Star, and I nodded. "She'll be here in about… four seconds."
And in exactly four seconds, the door to the left of the bar that leads to the bathrooms and the storehouse practically slammed open, and my adoptive mother Uyos near-strutted inside. Most of the regulars in the bar gave her a wave and a grin, a couple even raising their glasses and mugs in salute to her, and she waved to them with a laugh before looking around the room.
Her large black eyes trained on us, focusing on me after a moment, and she held her toned arms out with a smile. I ran to her and practically leapt into her embrace, the two of us laughing like maniacs. "It's so good to see you, sweetie!" I only hugged her tighter at that, only letting go after a good ten seconds had passed. My adoptive mother set me down and brushed one of the purple tentacles adorning her head back behind her shoulder. Then she crouched down with a stern look on her face, and I cringed away slightly, though I didn't stop smiling. "Now, young man, you promised to call two days ago, and that was after a week of not hearing from you! It's heartbreaking, truly." She carried on with a laugh, and I felt through the Force that she wasn't as upset as she appeared, instead playing it up as she did a lot of things.
Still, I had promised and I guess I let her down, hadn't I?
"I'm sorry… I was busy with stuff…" It was a weak excuse, I knew that much, but it was the truth at the end of the day.
"Too busy to talk to your mother? I hope the day never comes where that is true." She took my hand in hers, my blue skin contrasting with her yellow. "You're forgiven, just don't do it again, please?" I nodded, and she rubbed my shoulders gently, brushing away some of the dirt that had gathered on my clothes over the course of the night. "Right, let's go see the two troublemakers, hmm?"
"They're over here", I said with a quiet giggle, pointing back to the bar, but when I looked over I saw that Thalia had already gotten up and walked towards us. Enra wasn't far behind, moving out from behind the bar to greet his wife.
All the while Cirinis remained seated, watching us all with fond eyes, but there was something weird emanating from her through the Force. I couldn't pin it down, her emotions carefully hidden under years of Jedi training, but it felt almost like longing…
I moved to the side as Thalia reached the two of us, Uyos standing up again, and when they embraced I could feel my sister's desperation. Today had been really rough on her, and honestly it didn't seem like it'd let up anytime soon. Our adoptive mother must have felt that, too, because she held my sister tight to her chest and whispered words of comfort into her ear, though I couldn't hear what they were.
She'd always been good at reading people, and she'd even given me a few lessons on the subject a little while back when I'd asked her for advice, but she wasn't Force-Sensitive.
Uyos was a Nautolan, a native from a world called Glee Anselm. Like a lot of the people living in Remnant, she'd sought refuge here after she'd been forced from her home as a young adult, though she'd yet to tell me why. And while I didn't know much about Nautolans and their culture, I knew that the tentacle-like appendages on their heads were capable of sensing chemicals in air and water which, among other things, allowed them to sense the emotions of most organic beings.
Personally I think it sounded kind of far-fetched, but I had magic powers that defied science so I don't really have a leg to stand on. There was probably some biological explanation for it but outside engineering I wasn't much of a scientist, so I'd just have to accept it.
After a moment or two Enra reached their side, but didn't interrupt, instead waiting for the two to separate. Eventually, after nearly a full twenty seconds Thalia broke away. "It's good to see you", she said, reaching up and giving Uyos a light pat on the arms. Then she placed her hand on my shoulder, turning me away from the married couple and taking us back to our seats.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Enra give his wife a quick kiss before stepping away and pulling out a seat for her next to Cirinis. Uyos, however, stopped before the Jedi and offered her hand. The Jedi took it with a polite smile and they shook hands, but when she tried to let go the Nautolan only leaned in and planted a kiss on her cheeks. "It is a custom on Glee Anselm, apologies", she said with a laugh as she took her seat.
Cirinis didn't look put off by it, instead leaning back and saying, "Master Fisto doesn't do that."
Uyos didn't respond to her comment, instead laying her yellow palms flat along the bar and meeting her husband's eyes . "Get me my usual, barkeep. Get it wrong and I'll leave you for a man who will." She winked at Thalia and I, though she didn't bother to hide it from Enra who could only shake his head at her antics. He began reaching through cupboards and drinks cabinets, placing different mixers and liquor that I really didn't understand onto the bar, before doing… something with them that resulted in a drink.
I'd watched him do that nearly a dozen times and I still didn't get it. Honestly, it was more magical than the stuff I did, and that was saying something.
Still, Uyos must've enjoyed it because she took one sip of the finished product and gave Enra a big thumbs up. "Our marriage lasts another day. Well done."
Enra smirked, snatching Uyos' drink from her hand and taking a big swig for himself. He placed the half-empty glass down in front of her and said, "Like that was ever in question."
The Nautolan shook her head, looking affronted for a moment before turning in her seat towards Cirinis. "So, what's your deal?"
Cirinis appeared confused, glancing quickly between Uyos and Enra. "I thought Enra was messaging you?"
"He gave me the rundown." Uyos confirmed. "Space wizard lady and her buddies crash land here, you end up meeting Caelum who has similar abilities and now here we are. And then there's the other thing, but we'll get to that later."
"It's… it's a little more complicated than that…"
"Uncomplicate it, then."
Enra, Thalia and I all winced, and the proprietor of the Falling Star tried to step in; "Honey, let's not start-"
Uyos held up a hand and he stopped talking before turning back to the white-haired woman. "My husband, bless his heart, is too kind to question the needy strangers who find themselves on his doorstep; the Captain of the Guard over here was probably too busy staring at your ass to ask any decent questions-"
"Hey!" Thalia cried out, red faced, though she didn't deny it.
"And Caelum must've just been happy to find someone like him." She finished, glancing back at me, and honestly that was partly right, so hey. "Now, I know you have this diplomatic mission or whatever it is you call escorting those two chuckleheads over there", she said, tilting her head in the direction of Kilnen and Cear who had, once again, gotten into an argument. "But you've also taken an interest in my son, and I'd like to make sure I have a clear enough picture before we make any decisions."
I glanced back at Uyos, taking in the dead serious expression on her face.
Decision? What could that mean… oh.
I understood.
"Alright", Cirinis trailed off, drawing me out of my thoughts. "How about I just lay it out for you - as best I can?" Uyos gestured with her hand, as if to say "go on", and she continued. "I believe Caelum is a Vergence, a living nexus in the Force, due to his extremely high Midichlorian count and the circumstances of my arrival on your world."
"A crashing ship?" Thalia interjected.
"Our ship was parked in neutral space between Selnar and Frenmore, a space which we specifically chose due to its reported lack of pirates, yet we still came under fire. And when we jumped into hyperspace with a damaged navicomputer in order to escape, we landed here", she finished, holding her arms out wide, gesturing to her surroundings. "All the worlds in the sky, and we land on a world with three Vergences including your son? The Jedi don't call that luck; we call it the Will of the Force."
"So… what? You think it was some form of fate?" My mother asked.
"I think the Force had something in mind when sending me to a boy who, for a year, has been having visions of me training him."
Uyos nodded and looked down into her lap, her expression more serious than I'd ever seen, even that time when I nearly set the inn's storehouse on fire when the jetpack I'd been working on malfunctioned. "You want to train him, then?" She asked, looking back up, hands clasped together.
"If you allow it, and if Caelum accepts", she said, measuring her words carefully, "then I would take him to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant to be tested by the Jedi High Council and, hopefully, take him on as my Padawan."
A padawan? As in a student? That made sense, and was about what I expected when I heard them mention making a decision. I mean, I don't know if Force visions are absolute or not, but if they are then Cirinis will end up teaching me some way or another - I think?
Give me a break; I didn't even know the Force was called the Force until a few hours ago. There were bound to be a couple gaps in my knowledge…
"Caelum?" I looked up and saw Cirinis looking expectantly at me. "What do you think?"
A hand shot out and latched onto my forearm as if to stop me getting up even though I hadn't made a move at all, and I heard Thalia practically growl out her words from over my shoulder. "I thought you were going to ask us first?"
I felt my sister's mounting anger and I was pretty sure Cirinis did too, because she leaned back in her seat and offered a placating smile. "If he doesn't wish to come with me, then what is the point in me asking you at all?"
Thalia grimaced, accepting the point and letting go of me. "You're right. Sorry…"
Cirinis nodded and accepted the apology before looking back at me, wordlessly asking me for my decision.
And suddenly the resolve I had found not even an hour ago vanished, and I was left with uncertainty. I had the power to help people, to help create a galaxy where people could be happy - not just for my family, but for friends I didn't have, acquaintances and strangers I've yet to meet. Because I've seen how short life can be, the murder of Thalia's parents had made sure of that, but life being short and unpredictable didn't make it any less beautiful.
I believed that, truly; how could I not? I had tried my best to explain it to Cirinis back on the mountain path, but I wasn't sure I succeeded.
I can feel it all.
Those were the words I said to her. My Force Sense, as Cirinis had said it was called, was so advanced I could ask a Question and be fed an exact answer, but no matter how hard I tried my Senses weren't entirely under my control - I doubt they ever would be. And because of that, the world opened itself up to me even when I didn't want it too, whether through The Moment or the instinctive knowledge that someone was in pain and I could do nothing to help.
Maybe it was my mind unknowingly affecting my connection to the Force, if that was even possible, but there were nights where I'd be kept up by the pain of the people in the city below.
Anger, sadness, jealousy, loneliness: I dealt with those a lot on my own, and that's without being bombarded by those same emotions from people a thousand meters away or more.
But on good nights, after a nice meal with my family or a productive day of training and tinkering, I would fall asleep feeling the world's joy as well as it's pain.
I guess that's just a fact of life: pain is constant, differing in feeling and intensity, but recognisable all the same. There's the harsh sting of rejection; the burning in your heart when you lose someone close to you; the echoing, empty ache of being alone for days on end. They are inevitable and unforgettable. But to see the light in the world and the people around you; to sit out in the early hours of the morning to watch the sunrise; to spend the day with your sister because she's been feeling lonely without her parents - that is a choice.
It's a choice people make everyday, to find meaning in our lives when there doesn't seem to be any, and, more than anything, I wanted to build something that those I loved and those I didn't know at all could look at and be happy.
I reached down to my belt, unclipping my lightsaber and turning it over in my hands, gazing at the device thoughtfully. I felt Cirinis' eyes on me, more curious than anything. She must've felt my conflict and was allowing me to work through this on my own. I couldn't see my family at that moment but I could sense their worried looks on my back. While Enra and Uyos hadn't ever seen me use my lightsaber, or even turn it on, they must have been confused that my response to Cirinis' question was to pull out a weapon.
Still, I paid their gazes no mind and examined the weapon that I'd rebuilt, that I'd changed. I thought of the smoking yellow-gold crystals within, once blood red and damaged by forces beyond my comprehension, now… I couldn't really think of a word for it. I hadn't healed them, I hadn't removed the darkness from within them, but rather gave it light. Whatever evil had been in them was now overwhelmed by the life I'd drawn into them.
If I was being sappy, or whatever words Thalia used to describe the stories Uyos pretended not to read, I'd say that this lightsaber represented both me, and what I wanted to do with my life.
With the flick of a switch I ignited the lightsaber, the twin blades casting bright, golden light across the room. I looked the weapon up and down, the two shafts of light pointing to the floor and roof respectively, and watched the yellow smoke gently drift away from the device, caught on the tiniest breeze from the open windows. I ignored the shocked stares of the patrons around me, the sudden silence, along with the confused and curious glances Cirinis' companions were sending me.
I could repair a lot of things, but like my lightsaber and its crystals, the marks, the reminder that nothing could ever be truly fixed, would stay forever. Sometimes I'd wonder if I'm not a little broken, too, for having the thoughts I did; for feeling the way I do about life. For the love of the stars, I wasn't even ten years old and I was contemplating the meaning of existence in front of a wizard from another world.
But it didn't really matter, did it? The past, the future - they were all consequences of right now, of this day and this Moment. I didn't want to leave my family and my home, but the things I was worried about could happen in months and years, but the choice I had to make was today.
"Would I help people?" I asked quietly, finally, looking past the glare of my blade and to the Jedi.
Cirinis considered my question for a moment, gently reaching out and resting her hand on my lightsaber's hilt, just above my own, and deactivated the device. I blinked rapidly, letting my eyes adjust to the sudden darkness, and the white-haired woman leaned back. "Our Order is not perfect, despite the majority of public and internal opinion", she explained, "I have been a Jedi long enough to know that, but at its core being a Jedi means helping people wherever you can, whenever you can."
And that was that.
"Then… I want to become a Jedi." I resolved, clipping my lightsaber back onto my belt.
Cirinis nodded, looking pleased, though through the Force I sensed that she was also somewhat nervous, like she had something she wanted to say but wasn't sure how. She turned to look at my family, specifically meeting Uyos' eyes and asking, "And what do you think?"
I could tell my Mother had already made up her mind, even if I didn't know what she'd say, but she took a moment to look to Enra and Thalia, silently asking for their opinion.
Enra was the first to speak, dropping the rag he'd been toying with on the bar top. "I had the chance to escape Dathomir and the Nightsisters, and I took it, because I believed my life was worth more than being a toy for some witches." He rolled his shoulders and shot his wife and Thalia an apologetic look, but he didn't relent. "If Caelum's path takes him out of Remnant, who am I to stop him?"
Thalia shook her head at his words, though I could feel that she didn't totally disagree with Enra. If anything, her feelings were complex and I could tell she was debating heavily with herself. She was probably waiting for Uyos to speak so she'd have more time to decide, but the Nautolan was determined to hear my sister's say first and the silence stretched out for nearly a minute.
Eventually, Thalia relented. "I really, really, don't know how I feel about this. I mean I can't be the only one who sees how weird this whole thing is, right?" She brushed her hair behind her ears, looking down at the floor for a moment. "Still, I only want what's best for my little brother and if that means he has to leave, so be it."
Uyos nodded, turning back to Cirinis with a tight smile, her black eyes narrowed, but there wasn't an ounce of hostility in her. "I believe Caelum should go with you, if only so he can learn more about himself and his abilities", she trailed off and Cirinis made to speak, but my mother continued. "But that does beg the question of where we fit into this", she gestured to Enra and Thalia, "because when my husband was explaining this to me through messages earlier, he mentioned that, apparently, Jedi are heavily biased against things you consider 'attachments'."
And I found myself suddenly in awe of Uyos' way with words because her expression and voice were as cold as ice, but I could feel the tension within her, and I'm sure Cirinis did too. How this next part of the discussion went would make or break this whole thing, that was certain, and I honestly wasn't sure how I felt about that.
"Yes… I did mention that", the Jedi admitted, "but please let me explain. I won't bore you with Jedi spiritualism, but it is well known within our Order being unable to let go of something, being unable to accept change, even, can lead down a dark path. Fear of loss can drive anyone to the extreme, can you imagine what it could do to someone with abilities like Caelum or I have?"
"That does seem like a valid concern", Uyos conceded.
"I'm glad you understand that", Cirinis said, smiling genuinely. "You wouldn't believe the amount of people who consider our Order to be a cult of emotionless, sex-starved robots", she finished with a laugh, before looking at me and quickly coughing into her fist. "Right, carrying on… It's why the Jedi believe in beginning training at such a young age, because the less attachments a Force-Sensitive has the easier it is for them to dedicate themselves to the Force."
The Jedi took a breath, considering her words carefully before continuing. "This means that, in general, most Jedi don't keep in contact with their birth families. In fact, it's almost considered bad too."
Uyos' head tilted to the side slightly, like Cirinis' words had made consider something, before a flash of understanding emanated from her and she gave a gentle, almost sad smile. "You've never had a family, have you?"
For the shortest moment, to the point where I wondered if I wasn't just imagining it, I felt Cirinis become almost self-conscious. "The Jedi are my family…" She denied, though her words were quieter than before.
"In an abstract sense, maybe, just like how I consider the people of Remnant my family." My mother said, taking a sip of her drink before leaning forward, looking over my head towards Cirinis. "But there's family, and then there is family. They are the people you help become better than they were, and they do the same for you, and together you become something greater than the sum of your parts."
Uyos let that sink in for a moment, watching the Jedi process her words. Eventually, Cirinis began to speak, saying: "I've never had family in the way you describe, nor friends, so I guess I'm not the best person to talk about relationships, but please do understand, I'm not actually asking Caelum to cut all contact with you."
I felt the tension leave Enra and Thalia, and I briefly wondered what those two would've said, let alone done, if Cirinis had forced the issue. It didn't matter for she quickly elaborated, "I said that most Jedi don't contact their birth family, but your son wouldn't be like most Jedi."
"What do you mean?" Uyos questioned.
"I recently lost a friend", she began, speaking slowly like she wasn't really sure of what she was saying, "and even if we weren't close by your standards, I guess I realised sometime after his death that we were as close as people like us could be with one another. What we had, I, uh… I guess it was the closest thing I've had to an attachment my whole life."
Cirinis began scrunching up the loose fabric of her borrowed trousers, and I had to wonder how many times in her whole life this powerful, wise woman had bared her soul for someone - if she ever had.
"It was a lesson in letting go, but seeing you all made me understand that, maybe, it was also a lesson in holding on." She ran her hands through her hair, wincing slightly as her fingers brushed through knots that had formed over the course of the day, but even I could tell she was trying to distract herself from her own vulnerability. "There was something he said to me, once, and I think I only just understood what he meant. 'We can plan for the future and learn from the lessons of the past, but if we don't live in the moment, are we really living at all?"
She laughed, more to herself than to any of us, and there was no hiding the sadness in her voice. "I think what he meant, in the end, was that if we let the mistakes of the past and fear of the future stop us from doing the right thing, then we've already lost." She took a deep breath after that, and I sensed her center herself in the Force, and when she next spoke her voice was calm and level. "I guess what I'm trying to say, in my own preachy way, is that Caelum will not be like most who enter our Order. He's very close to you, and I can't in good conscience ask him to end that because of people in situations that are different from his."
After her declaration, silence descended upon the Falling Star and it was with muted shock that I realised that nearly all of the patrons had either turned in for the night, or been rushed off by my impromptu show with my lightsaber. The only people left were Naeth, Vosh, Kilnen and Cear who were all now watching us with rapt attention, hooked on every word of our conversation.
They weren't even pretending not to be eavesdropping, but then again, it wasn't like anything being said was necessarily a secret. Eh, it didn't really matter in the end - I had to focus on the here and now.
"So", Cirinis said, finally, "I think the best way to go forward is to have you keep contact through messages and holo-calls, keeping physical contact to a relative minimum. That way we can focus on his training without too much worry of attachment getting in the way of it."
My mother considered that for a moment, rubbing her chin in though. "What do you think, sweetie?" She asked me instead, but I didn't need to think it over that much.
"I can do that", I said, meeting Uyos' eyes with all the strength I had. "It'll be like before where I see you guys every couple of days, but this time it'll be through a call."
"And you're happy to be moving away so quickly?" Thalia asked, a hint of desperation in her voice. I could feel her nervousness - her desire to hold on, but she wasn't willing to go against this. Not if this is what I really wanted to do.
"I'm not happy." I answered, looking down into my azure palms, like that'd help me in this situation. "I don't want to leave you, but I have to do this, and at least this way I can still talk to you all…"
"Besides", Enra spoke up, "all of this depends on the Jedi accepting you into their Order. No matter what, you'll always have a home with us."
Thalia got up from her seat and moved over to where I was sitting, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "Call me and I come running, yeah little man?"
I nodded into her shoulder, gently placing my hands on the small of my sister's back briefly before we both let go.
Silence took hold before Cirinis, as gentle as I'm sure she could, asked; "Is the matter settled?"
The Captain of the Guard wiped at her eyes, hiding tears that had yet to fall, and nodded. She stood back up, expression full of fragile strength. "I guess you guys'll need a ship?"
"Any ship will do fine", Cirinis confirmed, "though I would ask for one with a decent hyperdrive. I'd like to get the delegates over there back to the Senate building on Coruscant in the next twenty-four hours, at least."
Enra snapped his fingers, an idea forming in his mind. "We have that old spice-runner's freighter in Hangar Four, right? That thing has a decent hyperdrive."
Thalia nodded, before her eyes widened in recognition. "That Rodian runner, right? Didn't he trade that ship in with us for safe passage to Republic space? After realising the Hutts were looking for that ship after he double-crossed them?"
The bartender could only shrug. "It's been two years since then, so don't go through Hutt space and you'll be fine."
"What type of ship is it?" A voice piped up from the barroom floor, and we turned to see Naeth looking at us expectantly. Vosh shot him a look, and his expression turned indignant. "What?! I'll be the one piloting the damn thing, may as well know now if it's gonna be a pain in my ass."
"It's an old YT-2200. Corellian ship", Enra told the pilot. "Think you can handle it?"
"I can pilot anything if it's Corellian", Naeth boasted, though there was no dishonesty in his words. "Shouldn't be a problem with that. Just need a bit of time to do some pre-flight checks and we'll be good to go."
"Thalia and I can help with that", the proprietor of the Falling Star offered, taking off his apron and laying it down on the bar. The Zabrak reached into his pockets and produced the key to the building, holding it up in his hand for all to see. "Just gotta lock up the bar and we'll head off."
Naeth turned to his three companions. "Pack it in, then. We're making a move", he called, raising his near empty glass and toasting, "here's to a boring, uneventful voyage", before downing the rest and making his way to the toilet.
"He went the wrong way", Vosh noted helpfully, after his boss walked out of sight and through the door that lead to the back alley and not the bathroom. Then he sighed, groaning out, "I'll have to handle the take-off; I'm not risking him drunk-flying."
"The trip is at least eight hours - he'll sober up for the landing", Cirinis explained, and Vosh let out of a breath of relief.
"That's good… I don't wanna be the one who tries to land a smuggler's ship in the heart of the Republic."
Enra finished locking up the cabinets under and around the bar, motioning to Thalia after pocketing his keys. "I'll take Vosh and the delegates, you go pull Naeth out of whatever bush he's fallen in and meet us in Hangar Four."
Thalia nodded and went to find the wayward captain, though she certainly wasn't pleased about it.
I looked to Cirinis and asked: "Am I coming with you now?" She made to answer, but Uyos spoke out before she could.
"You, young man, are going to help me pack some essentials for your trip." She reached out to me, taking my hand in hers and gently pulling me to off the chair. "I'm not having you travel halfway across the galaxy with nothing but a laser sword and the clothes on your back."
Cirinis laughed, eyes shining with brief mirth. "Listen to your mother, Caelum. I'm assuming you know where this Hangar Four is?" She asked, looking at Uyos.
"We'll meet you there, don't worry." She said with a wink. Cirinis nodded and made for the front door of the inn, shrugging on the jacket she'd borrowed from Thalia earlier tonight. Before she could leave, however, my mother called out to her. "What will you do if this Council of yours rejects Caelum?"
The Jedi stopped, her hand on the door, and turned back to us. "I'll bring him back to you."
Uyos wasn't satisfied, though. "And what of these visions you mentioned? If he saw you training him, would not being accepted as a Jedi negate that?"
Cirinis' hands stilled, and it looked like she was considering my mother's question, but I knew better. She already knew what she'd do - she just didn't want to accept the idea as a possibility. "The Force brought your son and I together so that I may teach him, and if he cannot become a Jedi then I…" She trailed off, her voice failing her. A second passed, her anxiety almost palpable through the Force, before her resolve strengthened. Pale blue eyes locked onto mine, and there was fire within them. "Then I will continue to follow the will of the Force, and I will leave the Jedi Order and train him that way."
There was a period of brief silence before my mother nodded, and I knew that Cirinis' declaration had earned her respect, more than anything else she'd done today. "That's very brave of you." Her words were just as much a compliment as a statement of fact. "To be able to leave your life behind at a moment's notice in order to do what you believe is right - it is an admirable trait. Jedi Master Cirinis, you will always be welcome in my home."
They looked eyes for a moment, and the white-haired woman gave a nod of respect or gratitude - I couldn't really tell, before opening the door and heading off into the night.
We watched her go, before Uyos gave a gentle tug of my hand and we moved through the hallways of the Falling Star, only stopping when we reached the locked door that lead to the storage room.
Unlocking the door and switching on the overhead lights, Uyos led me past the fridges, freezers and shelves that held all sorts of foods and drinks, ready to be shifted to the kitchen and cooked for the guests, and into the corner office, opening the sliding panel door and leading me inside. It was sparsely decorated, with a desk, two lounge chairs and a carpet being the only bits of furniture there. Still, it served it purpose, and it wasn't like Uyos and Enra spent every hour of every day in here; more like an hour or two in the mornings and evenings so they could sort out the bookkeeping aspect of running a business.
I shut the door behind us as Uyos turned on the lights and moved behind the desk, pushing the sliding swivel chair into the corner and pulling out a drawer. She rummaged through its contents for a good fifteen seconds before retrieving a slim, round device and holding it up to the light. It consisted of a brown ring surrounding slitted, silver steel that housed the electronics within, along with three rotating stands built into the frame.
I had seen one or two of these devices before, though I'd never managed to get a good look at one until now. I'd never had the courage to ask, when I ran into people who had one.
Still, I knew a holo-messenger, or an Imagecaster if you wanted to be specific, when I saw one.
Weren't they normally paired with another device, though?…
Uyos reached into the desk once more and produced a second device, this time a slender, silver machine that could easily fit in the palm of someone's hand, with what looked like a series of buttons down the length and speaker at the end.
Yep. A Hush-98 comlink, which could be paired with a Imagecaster to act as a long distance transmitter, allowing whoever used it to see, hear, and speak to the person they were calling.
I actually had one of those a while ago, back up in my home on the Lord's Hand, but I'd scrapped it for parts for a different project I'd been working on. Thalia had not been pleased about that, since I missed her messages for a whole day and she ended up believing something had happened to me because of it.
When she'd shown up, armed to the teeth with four other armed guards, and realised I was perfectly fine…
Well; the less said about that, the better.
I was brought out of my reverie when Uyos handed me both of the devices. "The data for my own personal holo-messenger, along with Enra and Thalia's, are logged into this device. All you have to do is find a signal booster, which I'm sure there'll be a lot of on Coruscant of all places, and you can talk to us whenever you're free."
That was… It was an odd experience, to know that I was holding my one way to contact my family in my hands.
I'll have to look after this.
"This is what you wanted to give me?" I asked, voice low.
"I said 'essentials'", My mother clarified. "This seems pretty essential to me."
I couldn't have argued with that if I wanted to, so all I said was "thank you", before wrapping my arms around Uyos, hugging her with all the strength I could muster.
Apparently the training I'd been doing had paid off, because my mother frantically tapped my shoulders with a choked laugh. I let go and she gave me a strained smile, though it was as honest as I'd ever seen. She patted up and down my arms with wide eyes, saying, "I always knew you worked out, but I didn't expect it to do this much!"
I couldn't stop myself from shrinking away slightly, old anxieties about my body, my blue skin and gold eyes, all returning with a vengeance. Uyos, realising she misspoke, backpedalled immediately, wrapping me in a tight hug that had me smiling. "I'm sorry, sweetie - it was meant as a compliment. Look at you, so big and so strong; who knows how strong you'll be when you get older?!"
We both laughed at that, and the tension cleared from the air.
"You do have to promise me something, though. It's very important to me that you do." Her voice was serious as she took the two devices and placed them back on the desk, and I knew immediately that this wasn't another one of her jokes.
"Anything." I answered.
Uyos' face broke out into a grin as she took me by the hands, dragging my arm above my head and spinning me around, and I scrambled to keep my footing. She swung me away from her, giving me a chance to get my steps in time with hers, as we stepped into the center of the office to make the most of the space before catching me in her arms and leaning me back.
I came back up and we pressed close together, holding our arms out wide with our fingers intertwined. Then she let go, laughing as we parted, and she ran her hands along her hair-like tentacles, pushing the appendages back behind her shoulders. "I want you to promise me that you'll keep learning to dance."
That gave me pause, and I looked at my mother, confused. "But I'll be training as a Jedi. I won't have time…"
She could only shrug. "Everyone needs a hobby, especially something that can help you unwind."
"I rebuild machines and stuff like that - isn't that enough?"
Uyos stepped back and leaned against the wooden desk, folding her arms over her chest with a patient smile. "Sweetie, tinkering with machines is something you do with your mind and your hands. Dancing, however, is from the body and the soul. It isn't something you think about - it's something you do, something you feel. It can help you express even the toughest emotions."
She offered me a knowing smirk. "Besides, what you learn from dance may come in handy at some point; you never know when good footwork could save your life."
I briefly considered pointing out my priorities. Learning the ways of the Force and how to use my lightsaber were important, but I couldn't bring myself to argue with my mother - not about something that meant a lot to her, especially about something I truly enjoyed.
"I promise you I'll keep practicing." I said after a moment, and Uyos grinned. Then she leaned back and opened up the desk once more, retrieving the music player I knew she'd had ever since she left Glee Anselm.
She placed it atop the desk, choosing a song and turning up the volume, and a slow, steady beat interspersed by quiet vocals filled the office. "Now", my mother began, talking just loud enough to be heard over the music. "It'll take a while to ready up your ship, so we have time for a few songs." She held out a hand. "What do you say to one last lesson? For now, at least."
I focused my mind and my connection to the Force and, with an effort of will, sent the desk and its chair, along with the two lounge seats skidding across the floor so they sat against the wall giving us more room to dance.
Uyos, with grace anyone would envy, planted her left foot down behind her right when her seat disappeared out from under her, catching herself and sending me a halfhearted glare that quickly dissolved into laughter when I smiled innocently at her. "I'll take that as a yes." She concluded, before beginning to move in time with the beat, and I did my best to follow her lead.
Mother and son danced, cherishing one another's company for what could be the last time.
…
Little under an hour later my family and I stood together in Hangar Four, watching as the ship that would take me across the galaxy was refuelled and restocked.
Thalia and I sat together atop some spare transport crates that had been left lying around while Enra and Uyos spoke with Cirinis by the open ramp of the ship.
According to Vosh, the ship was ancient and well past it's projected lifespan, kept together by what he could only summarise as "a surplus of spare parts and sheer force of the mind." He was also confident it'd make the journey, so I guess we'd all just have to trust his assessment. Vosh had tried to get Naeth to help him run the diagnostic but, apparently, the senior pilot had too much to drink after I left the table and was sleeping off the drink in one of the ship's bunks.
I passed the time by immersing myself in the Force, feeling Remnant's light for what could be the last time in a long while. I sat in my usual pose for meditation, crossing my legs and resting my arms on my thighs. My thumb and forefinger were pressed together on each hand, and I focused on clearing my mind, on being at peace with the Force.
I followed the same process I had for nearly a year now, ever since the visions started, and I was able to release my negative emotions into the Force, like a leaf being carried down the river or some other mystic-sounding example.
My newfound knowledge of the Force and how I connected to it didn't really change anything other than how I viewed it, of course. Eventually, I realised that knowing the name of the Force wouldn't actually get me any closer to mastering it.
As far as I could tell the only things that could were experience, practice and faith.
I kept my breathing steady as I meditated on my position in the world around me, willing the Force to carry my physical body into the air even as my mind sank deeper into the current of power that ran through everything. I pushed my senses as far as they could go, feeling my awareness reach through and beyond the city to the point where even I couldn't tell what my limits were.
Could I have reached other worlds with my senses, when I was in this state? Maybe. I don't know, I'd never tried. Why would I bother looking across the galaxy when what mattered was right in front of my nose?
Time lost meaning when I was like this, and I could just drift away into the flow of the present…
Someone tapped my leg, and I opened my eyes to see Cirinis standing there, eyeing me with patient curiosity. I'd managed to keep my focus enough that I remained floating above the crate, maybe five centimetres, but I relaxed and let myself drift down, sitting down once more.
"We're leaving now, Caelum." She nodded back to where my family was standing by the ramp of the YT-2200. "Don't forget to say goodbye", she said with a meaningful expression.
"I won't", I answered and followed her to the ship. I stopped next to Thalia, looking up towards Enra and Uyos. Cirinis walked past me, stopping for a moment to clap a hand on my sister's shoulder and nodding to my parents before making her way onto the ship.
And then it was just the four of us.
Nothing was said for a good half minute - nothing needed to be said. They knew why I was leaving, why I was doing all of this, and they had accepted that. It was goodbye, but not forever.
Still, I couldn't leave it like this…
"I'll miss you", I choked out, feeling the ache in my chest grow with each passing second.
Enra smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder. "That's good. Having something like this gives you a reason to fight for; something real to hold on to."
"Besides, sweetie", Uyos continued from her husband. "We're only a call away." And she handed me a small backpack which I knew contained the Imagecaster and the Comlink she'd gotten earlier, among a few other things we'd stopped off to grab. I slung the pack around my shoulders, looking to the ground so they wouldn't see my tears.
I needed to do this. It didn't stop it from hurting.
Thalia didn't say a word, instead grabbing me in a fierce hug, crouching down so that she could rest her chin on my shoulder, and I heard her gentle sobs, quiet under the moonlight.
Then without saying anything, my parents joined in on the hug, taking Thalia and I in their arms. We were near silent in our goodbye, bar me and my sister crying, and Uyos whispered low words of encouragement into Thalia's ear that I tried hard not to hear - they weren't meant for me, after all.
We held each other for as long as we could, and eventually my parents let go.
My sister held on. If anything, it felt like she was holding on harder. She was so strong, anyone who knew her could see that, but everyone had their weaknesses.
I guess I was hers…
"Thalia…" My mother, the kindest woman I knew muttered. "He has to go now…"
Thalia tried to speak but all that came out were choked sobs, and her arms began to shake. Her sadness rolled over me like waves, and it took all that I had to push through it. Even then, it was a close call, and we were both left trembling as she finally let go.
"You… you grow up b-big and strong, okay", she said, her voice hitching. I watched as tears streamed down her face, blue eyes wide and unfocused. "And you come back. You got that? You can… You can be a Jedi and still have a family - I don't care what that woman says!"
"Yeah…"
"And you make sure to call, whe-", she was wracked by a sob, and Thalia took a deep breath, trying her best to calm down. "You call whenever you can, okay?"
"I'll call everyday if I can!" I said, injecting as much cheer and optimism into my voice as I could, even if I wasn't totally sure of that myself.
Thalia nodded, running her hands along my shoulders and up to my face, cupping my cheeks. "I guess… I guess I'll see you later then…" She looked like she wanted to stand, but her face twisted, like she'd just realised something and wasn't at all pleased about it. "I know I don't say it as much as I should, but I love you. I love you so much!"
I took her hands in mine and said, "I love you too." And I looked to each of them; to my mother, my father and my sister. "You're the best family ever…"
There wasn't anything else to say or do, apart from head aboard the ship and leave everything I'd ever known behind.
And so, the longest night of my life came to a close as Vosh flew us off Revenant Five and into Hyperspace. I was sat in the central living space as we took of, on an old couch built into the ship itself, and no matter how hard I focused on the Force, the sadness wouldn't go away.
Cirinis sat with me the whole time, and though she didn't say anything the fact she was there, a silent bastion of support, was good enough for me.
Maybe this was one of those things I needed to feel, to work through on my own so that I could become a stronger person. I didn't know if that was true, but no matter what I'd never forget this pain. I couldn't - it was my reminder, my way of keeping me up to the mark both in my training as a Jedi and my relationship with my family.
I couldn't afford to slack off, because if I didn't put every ounce of effort into this then all of this would be worthless. And it was a reminder to hold onto my family while I still could, to take every opportunity to talk to them, to treasure them, because I never knew when I might lose them.
But those were worries for another day - tomorrow, if I was being specific.
All I wanted to do was find a bed and pass out, since, by Remnant's cycle, it was nearly three in the morning and I'd woken up at eight the day before. When we were safely in hyperspace, and I'd managed to calm down enough, I asked a Question through the Force, learning where the nearest crew-quarters were on this ship and heading over there.
I must've fallen asleep before my body hit the bed, because, when Cirinis woke me up apparently almost eight hours later, I woke up uncomfortable, with my lightsaber digging into my hip. Still half-asleep, I wondered what would've happened if I rolled over in my sleep and accidently turned the weapon on, before deciding I didn't want to know.
Then I followed the Jedi into the cockpit, past the two bunks where Kilnen and Cear were sleeping, and meeting up with a very tired, very hungover looking Naeth. He must've been alright, enough to land at least otherwise Vosh never would've allowed him in the captain's seat.
He and Cirinis greeted each other, talking about the trip something like that, but I didn't pay attention - I was too focused on where we were. Somehow I'd slept through our ship dropping out of hyperspace, and was now staring down the only other planet I'd ever seen, though this time I was looking down at the sky instead of up.
I'd never seen anything like it. Orange lights dotted the surface of the planet, bright enough to be seen from outer space, lighting up the otherwise dark planet, and I was struck by the contrast between this and my world. This planet must have had billions of people living on it - trillions, even! Remnant didn't even have one hundred-thousand.
This was Couruscant, the home of the Jedi Order and the Republic.
Naeth typed in the coordinates for the Senate building, and we descended.
And that is the end of Caelum's time on Revenant Five, for now at least. Now, before anyone get's worried I'm changing canon and having Caelum be the Chosen One, don't worry, Anakin is the Chosen One who will bring balance to the Force, that has not changed nor will it. But just because Anakin is a Vergence in the Force, with a prophesied destiny that he will one day fulfill, doesn't mean that there aren't other Vergences with their own destiny.
The nature of Caelum's connection to the Force will be explained, but for a while a lot of it will be up to your interpretation since the Force rarely, if ever, spells things out, but I it's not a spoiler to say that Caelum has a special relationship with the Living Force. It's in the story description after all, and it is the reason why he has such high potential. Whether his potential will be realised is yet to be seen, however…
And for those of you who are wondering, where does the Cosmic Force fit into this, you'll find the answer to that question very soon, since the Living and the Cosmic Force are meant to work in harmony.
Now, I did want to explain one of the stories main themes in this AN right now, because it'll be very important to the overall narrative and it isn't one I see explored all that much in fanfics for Star Wars: Love. Love is what doomed the galaxy to the Empire, and it's what saved it too, yet a lot of people see Star Wars, especially the Jedi, as being anti-love and anti-emotion which, in my opinion, is mainly due to the dogma of the old Jedi Order. I don't want to say too much on that since it could go into spoiler territory, but keep it in mind that the whole emotions issue was only brought about by the prequels, until then it wasn't so much an issue of feelings but rather self-control and overcoming recklessness. After all, if Luke had struck down Vader on the second Death Star, Palpatine would have killed him anyway - Luke wasn't strong enough to face him then, but by showing mercy and love for his fallen father, Anakin was able to sacrifice himself in order to remove the Emperor from his throne and bring peace back to the galaxy. If he hadn't, if Luke had killed him in cold blood, who knows what will happen.
Spoilers for Rebels here, but my favourite character in all of Star Wars exemplifies how I feel about Jedi should handle their emotions, and that is Kanan Jarrus/Caleb Dume. He expresses his emotions but strives to never let them get the better of him, and he forms bonds with people, even finding time for a relationship while fighting the Empire, but he never lets it get in the way of his duty. And when the time comes to save his love and his crew, his family, he sacrifices the only thing he has any right to - himself.
So… yeah. This story will explore character relationships just as much as the setting of Star Wars, and show off love in all it's forms, whether they be romantic, platonic or familial.
Sorry for the long AN, but a long chapter deserves a long note in my opinion, so here we are. Thanks for reading and see you all next chapter!