Chapter 8 - The call of the Void

"Alright, just to be clear tonight." Dalrus said as soon as the door closed behind him once more. "No 'exposing me to the abyss' tonight, alright? I don't think I'm mentally prepared to go back there just yet."

Sister Margaret pouted sadly at him, which almost made his heart ache. "Darling, how do you expect to comprehend the Void if you don't peer into it? You need to understand your power before you can fully use its full potential!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get that..." Dalrus took in a deep breath and, in order to help him gather his courage, closed his eyes so he wouldn't look at her as he spoke. "But let's leave that more... Practical application for another day, alright? How about tonight we just do a good old Q and A?"

The priestess tapped her chin pensively. "Hmmmm, I suppose that would be fine as well. You did have a lot of interesting questions yesterday. Very well, dear. Come closer and I'll do my best to sate your curiosity over the Void!"

Half opening one eye, Dalrus swallowed dryly. If possible, she looked even more impossibly beautiful tonight, as she wore a pair of square, red glasses over her eyes and held a very large - and possibly older than he was - book. Slowly he approached her, trying not to look at her face. "So, I've been thinking..." He fixed his eyes upon one of the jars on the shelves along the walls, one filled with a red liquid and a spherical dark object floating inside. "Why is it that this Void even allows us to use its power? And if it's trying to devour us like this, why do we keep trying? I mean... Isn't it inevitable that sooner or later we will succumb?"

There was a very amused smile upon Margaret's face as she closed the book - taking a moment to fold the tip of her current page first - and placed it upon the table behind her. "My, my. Curious questions indeed. Most people don't even care about details such as these. All they can think of is using the darkness to satisfy their hateful desires! That you would think in this manner is no doubt why you made it so far in the first place."

The boy blinked a few times at that. "Uh... Thank you?" He was now standing right in front of her, his gaze now fixed onto another jar. This one had what looked to be a living white spider inside a green fluid, it's long legs skittering occasionally. "But... You mean people just dive head in on this thing without even taking a moment to see what it is?"

"You would be surprised!" Margaret declared. "You see, honey, the shadows, they promise you power. They want you to use them so they can lure you in, like dangling bait before a fish. And make no mistake, it is a great power! Even more than the Light, I dare say, as the Void is wholly dedicated to destruction and death. It calls out to those who are desperate, those who hunger for more."

"So... What? You telling me this just... Feeds on people? What does it even need that for?" He glanced at her face for a moment, and seeing how sincerely she was smiling at him made his heart melt, so he quickly focused his gaze on the floor by the table instead. "It's not like... I mean, is it a living thing, that needs food like us?"

"Hmmmm... Not exactly, no." Dalrus could see from the corner of his eye she was now staring at him intently. "Those are very good questions, however, and I am glad you are asking them. See, the Void is not exactly like the Light, in a sense it does not possess a will of its own. Rather... It is filled with creatures that do. Among those creatures, there are those we call... The Old Gods. They are incredibly ancient beings, and all are trapped within the Void, each one of them hungry and powerful enough to consume this entire world and desperate for a way to escape their prison."

Now he did manage to stare at her without being reduced to a drooling, stuttering fool. "You mean... Was it one of those who was... Calling out to me?"

Margaret giggled gleefully. "Oh, heavens, no, absolutely not! You'd be little more than an incoherent madman if it were!" She took off her glasses and shook her hair, which almost made the boy swoon loudly as her long, silken strands flowed enticingly through the air. "Residues, most likely. But no one actually focused on you. What you felt was probably the lingering will of the Void Lords."

Once again, he managed to break out of his trance, then he shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Void Lords? Are they, like, the kings of the Void, or something?"

"That's one way to put it." She said with a nod. "They are unthinkably ancient and powerful, as much as the Void itself. Creatures we literally cannot comprehend with our feeble minds. They are so powerful they can't even manifest in this world, even if they wanted to. All they do is devour and consume, infinitely. Like a never ending well that sucks in everything around it."

Dalrus lifted a brow at how she actually sounded excited as she said those things. "So... Why do we keep using it, then? Shouldn't we just... Seal it forever, or something along those lines? Kind of sounded like a disaster just waiting to happen if you ask me."

Another angelic giggle came from her. "Goodness, you are without a doubt one of the sharpest boys I've ever met! Most people, even after understanding these dangers, would either just give up or continue to delve blindly into the void. It really says something about your intelligence, dear."

His heart was drumming on his chest, and he actually felt his nose and cheeks start to grow warm. "Oh, ah... Ahah... Well, I, I guess I got a lot from my old man... Heh..." He tapped the floor nervously with his foot, then looked straight up at the stone ceiling above in order to further avoid looking at her.

"Such modesty! But yes, to answer your question... There is a saying! 'Stare long enough into the abyss, and soon the abyss stares back at you.' That is why it takes incredible discipline to resist the pull of the void." She suddenly turned around and began to peruse through the several scrolls arranged over her desk. "I suppose, if you were to ask me the reason we keep using the power of the Void is, because... Well! We all think we will be the special case, the first one to use its power without succumbing." Margaret turned around and showed him a closed scroll. "Come here, hold this."

The boy did not move from his spot.

Clicking her tongue irritably, she scowled at him. "I'm not going to banish your mind again, I promise! It's just an image. I'm not sending you anywhere."

Hesitantly, he stepped forward and reached out for the scroll.

"There we go! Hold it like this... Yes. Now help me spread it, and... There!" Each of them was holding two corners of the scroll and suspending it in the air above the floor. Dark runes glimmered along the surface of the scroll, and what appeared to be a thick, purple blob with barely noticeable arms and a head appeared floating in the air. "Now, this is one of the most common creatures that dwell in the void. It is like an elemental, but one made of pure shadow energy. It is a creature with a will of its own, and it is often summoned by Warlocks to offer aid in battle."

Dalrus leaned his head to the side. "So there are elementals too? Are all elements like this? A living force with a will?"

Margaret giggled once more. "Of course, silly! But that would be delving into the orcish practices of shamanism. Believe it or not, our elements tend to be a lot more chaotic than the void itself! At least in this case, we know that no matter what you do, it's just a hungry mass waiting to lure you in and devour you!" They closed the parchment, and Margaret set it back on top of the table. "So, I understand your master has already taught you how to use the Void! Could you perhaps show me?"

For once, he managed to flash her a cocky grin. "Of course! Try and watch this!" He bent his knees into a low crouch, then began to pull the threads from the void. Before long his body was covered in the veil, and he had vanished from sight.

The priest nodded at that. "Hmm, not bad! I can't see you at all. You have trained this part well! Now, how about you step through the Void for me, dear? Can you go from one side of this room to the other?"

Dalrus hesitated, then broke his stealth and nodded at her. "I... Yeah, of course. I can do it." He didn't really need to, but he began winding his arm as he walked towards the far side of the room. "Alright, should be no problem... I've done this before. It's easy, isn't it?" He shook his head and tried to relax. "I can do this... Here we go, then." Taking in a deep breath, he focused deeply and closed his eyes. He knew what to do, where to go. Gathering his strength, he proceeded to attempt to step through the shadows.

The sad thing is, he already knew things would go wrong before he even began. He had failed doing that before - the results still very vivid in his mind - but this time, it somehow felt worse. It was as if a gigantic hand were squeezing him, holding him in the air, pure darkness surrounding him. Once more, he could see them... Those eyes... Hundreds of them peered into his soul from all sides. "Foolish boy... Step into our realm... And we shall devour you."

He woke up, once more, laying upon Margaret's bed. This time, however, the priestess was hunching over him, one hand supporting her elbow as the other hand supported her chin. "Hmmm... My, my. It's worse than I thought." She said as he opened his eyes.

"Uh... What?" He managed to blurt out, a sudden wave of vertigo keeping him down on the bed.

Margaret sighed and placed her hands on her knees as she sat down on her stool. "Silvius had told me you were having trouble delving deeper into the Void. I now see what he meant. You're scared of something."

Dalrus rubbed his eyes to try and focus his mind a little bit. "Uh... Yeah. Maybe of the all consuming maw hanging open right in front of me, and that evil voice threatening me inside my head?"

The priest, however, peered down at him with unusually cold eyes. "You can joke all you want, darling. You can lie to your master, to your parents, to your friends, to me, and you can even try to lie to yourself. But those things in there... You can't lie to them. So I suggest you start being honest to yourself as well."

Dalrus went silent. He stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes, heart racing within his chest.

After a long silence, he felt Margaret's hand upon his own - and was amazed by how warm and soft she was. "What is it you are so scared of, Dalrus? What is it you see each time you dive through the shadows?"

He remained silent for a long time, feeling the woman patiently hold his hand and stare down at his face as he continued to face straight upwards. Finally, he closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. "It's... It's not me." He finally managed to whisper.

The priestess leaned forward. "What's not you, sweetie?"

The boy lifted his other hand and shielded his eyes as he began to speak in a hushed tone: "This... All this. Me. Myself. I'm... It's not me. This... Isn't me."

He felt her hand give his an affectionate squeeze. "What do you mean, dear? Why isn't this... You?"

He pressed his lips firmly together and breathed through his nose for a few seconds. Eventually, he pulled his hand away from his eyes and his head flopped to the side so he could stare out the grated window. "I... My whole life. I am supposed to be the shadow. My brother... He left. He went to fight in the war. And I stayed. Ever since I was born... This place, this city... It's all I have ever seen and known. I thought... Maybe this is how it should be. This is where I belong. This is where I want to be... But... In the end." He closed his eyes and let out a low painful moan. "That's not me... It's not what I want at all."

Dalrus then heard her whispering into his ear: "What is it that you want, then?"

His eyes remained closed. "I want... I want to live, damnit!" He almost screamed in frustration. "I want to see what's beyond this bloody wall! I want to live in this huge world! I want to meet more people... I want to see new things... Explore new places, find hidden, lost objects, I don't know, anything! I can't take this... This stillness! I can't live like this! This isn't... This shadow... It's not me... But whenever I am in there... That is what I'm looking at. All my father, my king and my uncle raised me to be... A sheep. Bloody cattle waiting to be herded and taken somewhere they say I belong. This isn't... It's not... That's not who I am. It's not me!"

"If that is not who you are... Why can't you be yourself, then?" He once again heard the whisper.

"Because... I just... I can't." He sighed sadly. "Father needs me... My brother... My mother... And now the entire kingdom is being threatened. I can't just do what I want... I can't be that selfish. I have a duty..."

"But this is the way to do it." Once again the whispers came. "The shadows can free you. The shadows can enlighten you. The shadows will take you wherever you wish to go."

Now he opened his eyes. He realized Margaret was holding her hand over his head as she frantically stared at his face. She looked almost as surprised as him when he looked at her. "Goodness! How did you do that?" She said, setting him down against the wall. To his utter astonishment, he realized he was still standing where he was before attempting to perform his shadow step.

"I... You... But... I was in your bed, and you were holding me, and..." His head felt like a thousand needles were trying to dig through his brain.

A different kind of smile seemed to appear on the priestess' lips. "Oh, my! Well, if you're having those kinds of dreams, then perhaps the situation isn't as serious as I thought!"

He quickly realized what she meant by that, and his face began to grow red as his mouth went dry. "Wha- no! No, that's not... It's not that kind of dream! Just... You told me... You asked what I was scared of. I told you, and... I heard a voice. It said the shadows could free me, it would take me where I wanted to go..." He winced as a sharp pain went through his brain, and began to rub his temples with his finger tips to try and do something about that growing headache.

"Oh. Oh dear. Oh, my goodness, that's... Hmmm. That's so interesting..." The woman was now standing before him, one hand on her hip as the other tapped her chin. "The moment you vanished, you immediately reappeared in the same place, passed out. I rushed over and felt your mind was clouded, enveloped by something else. You were being shown something. Looks like it was a vision from the Void, how exciting!"

"Exciting!?" He winced again, the sound of his own voice making his head throb. "Bloody hell, this has never happened before! I've had trouble walking through the Void a few times, but never like this!"

"Ah, yes. Well, this place is a little closer to the void than most. I should have told you that sooner!" She shot him an apologetic smile. "I'm terribly sorry, honey. But I'd say we made fantastic progress tonight! You are one step closer to mastering the void, I can feel it! I can't wait to continue your training!"

"Are you bloody mental!?" He had to snap his eyes shut. "I can't do that. This is driving me insane! Something is out there for me! I can't-" His little outburst was interrupted when he felt her soft hand placed against his head, and suddenly his headache was gone. When he opened his eyes, he realized she was squatting down in front of him, her gentle eyes peering into his. "I understand why you are afraid, dear." She whispered as she stroked his hair. "But what you don't realize is... The Shadow is showing itself to you. It is testing you. The reason why you are having so much trouble with it... Is because you are afraid. The only way to master the darkness is to show you are not afraid. Make it afraid of you. Bend it to your unbreakable will, not the other way around. You are as strong as you think you are. So long as you have doubts and hesitate... This will keep on happening, regardless of what path you follow."

The boy took in a deep breath, then slowly exhaled through his mouth. "This... Thing... It... It knows me better than I do." He managed to whisper. "How can I overpower something like this?"

"Well... I would say a great first step is getting to know yourself better! Take away whatever it is holding against you. Rid yourself of doubts and shame, and be proud of who you are!" The woman stood up and slapped the dust off her dress. "I believe that is enough for tonight. You can go, honey. And I suggest you spare some time to think about this. Who, exactly, is this cute little boy called Dalrus Plaguefang?"

That night, as Dalrus left the cathedral, his mind was full to the brim with those clouding thoughts... The Old Gods, the Void lords, the voices that called to him, the cold grip of the Darkness, and the divinely gorgeous priestess who thought he was cute.

In the afterglow of the first day of the invasion, the citizens of Gilneas city were all very restless. Those in the cathedral had seen the monstrous gargoyles flying around the wall, as well as the chunks of body parts the meat wagons had hurled over it's edge - some of them Dalrus himself had seen scattered around the woods as he made his way back.

Soldiers were everywhere. There were many medical tents along the forest, but most of the injured were being taken back to the cathedral square, where all the priests and healers were gathering. Some were taken back to their homes within the city, where they were being cared for by their own family. There had been many Gilnean deaths today, the king had said, but five times as many of the undead had fallen. That thin purple veil was visible hanging just outside the city, starting from behind the gates - where Arugal was surrounded by a team of mages supporting his magical power and helping maintain the field through the whole night. Every now and then gunfire could be heard, along with blasts from the cannons. Despite their losses, the undead did not relent in their attack. Dalrus wondered if they would run out of ammo before the enemy ran out of troops to send.

There was a military tent along the western side of the wall, close to the gate. He knew that was where the generals, along with the king himself and many nobles were discussing battle tactics. His father was probably there, while his uncle was most likely working to sabotage the enemy lines.

The walk home was no pretty sight, to say the least. People were screaming in pain or begging for something - food, shelter, news, medical care, the pain to end - everywhere. It was absolute chaos. Darius Crowley could be seen on his horse darting back and forth as he tried to establish some order, but with very little effect. Dalrus snuck past all that and made his way into the city.

The change was almost instant. The streets were deserted. Stores were closed, windows were barred. Not even animals were seen scurrying towards alleys. All was silent, all was dark and ominous. He swallowed down dryly and hurried off along the way, heading back towards his manor. Darkness had settled on Gilneas, and the lamp posts ignited along the city didn't do much to keep it at bay.

The sky was cloudy, no stars visible by the time he arrived home. He came in through the front door, and saw the fireplace by the living room lit. Looking up the stairway that led to the second floor, he realized the chandeliers on the walls were lit as well, which made the entire manor well illuminated, a nice change of pace from the dark atmosphere outside. He made his way up, careful not to make any sound as he did so. He could hear noise coming from the direction of his mother's room. Arriving there, Dalrus peeked inside.

His mother was staring into a bowl of soup, which was being held by her maid. The old woman was attempting to feed her, but Lady Dallys was practically unresponsive. "My lady, please, you must eat! What will your husband and your sons think if they come back and you are weak because you did not feed?" She was saying, the spoonful of soup hanging just before the woman's lips. Still, Lady Dallys refused to answer, or even acknowledge her existence. Taking in a deep breath, Dalrus stepped into the room and said: "Mother, she is right."

He saw her hands, which were resting on her lap on the bed, slowly relax. "Dalrus..." She whispered, her gaze still vacant. "Your brother... Your father... Where...?"

"They are fine, and you are worrying too much." He declared as he walked up to her. "Thank you Dahlia, I'll take it from here."

The maid bit on her lip, then she sighed and stood up, taking a moment to place the spoon back on the bowl. "I'm terribly sorry, Lord Dalrus, I've been trying all day, but she just refuses to speak and eat... I'm so worried!"

The boy managed to force a smile at the old lady. "It will be fine. I'll make her eat. You can go now." The maid took a moment to give him a respectful bow before scurrying off the room. Dalrus took the bowl in his hands and sat down by the edge of the table next to his mother. "So..." He began to say. "We managed to hold them off. Wall is still there, tall and strong. No one made it in today." Glancing to the side, he saw his mother had slightly turned her head to continue to stare at the bowl in his hands. "Though, they brought in some nasty toys... The army had no choice but to gather outside to keep them away." Still no reaction from her. He grabbed the spoon and began to slowly spin it around the bowl. "Dad and Fel were among the troops that fought."

He was certain he saw her hand tremble for a moment. He took in a deep breath and leaned back against the pillows piled up against the wall behind them. Casually, he brought a spoonful of the soup up to his lips and took in a sip. "Nasty battle, too. I saw those monsters cleave people in two with one blow." From the corner of his eye, he could see his mother was biting down on her lip. "Yep. Any normal person wouldn't be back from that. Lots of children lost their parents today."

Finally, his mother turned her head completely, her eyes very wide and her brows furrowed. He could see she was holding back her tears. "How dare you torture your own mother like this, boy! You know your father and your brother wouldn't die like that!" Dalrus, however, did not falter under her outburst. "I know that very well, mom." He said with all the calm in the world, a second spoonful of her soup meeting his lips. "I think you were the one who forgot that detail for a bit."

The woman looked like she was about to slap him, then she let out a long sigh of exhaustion and collapsed against the pillows next to him. "I know... I know, I know I shouldn't worry... I know damn well they are doing their part, that they are helping save this city, save you... Save me... But it's just so..." She brought her hands to her eyes and, to his surprise, began to sob. "It's so bloody... Infuriating! I can't do anything... I should be there, helping them... I want to be by his side, I want to help him fight... Your father, your uncle, your brother... I am just so useless, a waste of space that needs to be cared for..."

She was suddenly interrupted when Dalrus hands grabbed her by the wrists and forced her to turn around and stare at his deep blue eyes. "What the hell are you saying? You're useless? Dead weight? Then what the bloody hell are we fighting for? What are they risking their lives for?" He had never felt like that before... Angry at his mother. "Don't say things like that! Useless!? Hah! You are the reason they can fight so hard in the first place! Knowing you're here... Knowing we have something to come back for... Someone who wants us to be back... That is the main reason we have to fight in the first place. You're our beacon of light in this dark, dark night, mom. And seeing you sad, without any will to live... That's even worse than hordes of undead pouring into the city."

Dallys Moonite sobbed once more, then threw her arms around her son's neck and squeezed him as tightly as possible. "Oh, Dalrus... My son... I am so sorry... All this... All that's happened lately... It's made me so... Uneasy... And sad... All my uncertainties, all my doubts, they just... I didn't know how to cope with it!" She wiped her tears with her long sleeves and moved back, taking in her son's appearance. "You look... Older, somehow. You have grown so fast, Dalrus... War... That's something your father and I hoped you and Felrus would never need to endure. Yet... Here we are. This world... It's so... Broken. Like a jar that's been dropped, the pieces scattered. We have no idea how to put it all together..." She let out a sad little chuckle. "And I get this feeling the worst is yet to come. Can we ever have true piece? Or are we doomed to never bask in freedom? To forever look over our shoulders to see a dark horizon?"

The boy placed his hands on his mother's shoulders, then slowly he planted a loving kiss on her cheek. "Mom..." He whispered. "I know things look grim. We could die at any time. But it's pointless to just fret over it. In the end... All it comes down to is whether or not we are going to do something about it. Father, and Felrus... They are out there, doing their part. Today I saw it... I saw their war. I saw what they have been fighting against this whole time. I saw evil, mom... And I realized something." His hands moved to her wrists, then slowly took hold of her own hands. "It's not really a matter of good or evil. In this world... Rather, just about everywhere... There are things who want to feed, who want to consume. Not because they are evil, not because they like killing or making others suffer... But rather... That's just what they do. It's how they exist. To fight them back is not a matter of righteousness or doing good... It's about us surviving. It's about us, as living creatures, showing that our will to go on living is stronger than their will to end us. That is the power we all have... And the power I'm going to use to keep you and everyone else safe."

His mother listened silently while peering into his eyes. When he was finished, tears were once more leaking out the corners of her eyes, except this time, she was smiling at him. "My son... You have grown so much..." She said once more, her hand going for his cheek and stroking it tenderly. "Dalrus... You are right. I know you are. I have a duty too... For a moment... That will in me faltered. I'm sorry, my son. I promise you... It will never happen again. I will go on living... For you... Your father... Your brother... And my brother as well. I love you all with everything I have... And I know you will all be there for me." She took in a deep breath, then once more wiped her tears. "I'm sorry I made you worry like this... And I'm sorry you had to grow up so quickly. I won't be like this again. I promise."

Smiling, the boy leaned up to kiss his mother's other cheek. "That's more like it! Now be a good lady and drink your soup up, alright? Poor Dahlia doesn't get paid enough to worry about you like this!" Setting the bowl on her lap, he kissed his mother one last time on the forehead and got up. Looking over the window, he could see that his father and brother were riding uphill towards the manor. A smile crept up on his face as he watched them arrive by the front door, then heard their heavy steps as they rushed upstairs to see Lady Dallys. 'Yeah...' He thought as he greeted his father and brother with a loud "What took you so long!" 'We are getting through this... Together.'