I cannot apologise enough for this chapter being a little late, I am ever so sorry but I'm surely hoping it's going to be a blessing. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, thank you so much for your lovely feedback and as ever, I would really appreciate it if you'd be kind enough to leave your thoughts once again.

Just a little reminder- this story is rated M for a reason. As you'll surely come to find out in the next few chapters ;) ;) ;)

Thank you!

Time seems to be moving extra slowly now I'm parked up outside Alice's. I'm dreaming about a boy. No, not a boy- a man. A man with pale skin but rosy cheeks and the light suggestion of a few hidden freckles on the bridge of his nose. I'm dreaming of his perfect teeth concealed shyly behind a wry and charming smile alluding a gorgeously enticing scent. Something like mint and pine and wood varnish all tied in with that official cleanliness.

Mmmm...

'Nice to see you got your car back.' Alice greets, jumping quickly into the passenger side.

Her entrance is enough to make me jump. She's glued her hair to the side of her face so that she looks like she's from the 1920s. Except people in the 1920s didn't usually dress as punky as she's looking now. She's wearing a girly band T-shirt (one that's probably robbed from my drawers) with short shorts and royal purple tights. The spiky braces attached around her shoulders and the cuffs on her wrists suggest she's feeling adventurous today. But still gorgeous.

I pat the plastic of the mantle.

'She's a beauty,' I agree, proudly turning on the engine.

Alright I've give Blondie this; my crappy little car has been upped several notches and now she isn't just working class, she's full blown British monarchy (excusing her scraped paint marks).

'Did you thank her?'

Alice is great at making me feel guilty even when it isn't needed.

'I will do!' I say, quickly. Mainly because Rose is not the type of person to know what manners are let alone use them. She didn't even reply to my message telling us if she was coming or not. Gah.

'Are we ordering out?' I ask, taking the shorter route to park up to Jasper. Perhaps if I'm running a taxi service I should start charging cash?

At least I don't have to pick up the others; Emmett is going to walk over with the girls later on. Edward is already home, leaving Tilly to make her own way once Carlisle finishes. Or at least what I'm calling her own 'way'. I refuse to dirty my car with that girl's presence.

'Nope, I'm under strict orders to cook tonight.' She says . I instantly whine for two reasons. One: Ordering out was a Friday night thing. Especially with Em involved. Two; Alice's food is…mediocre. I might not be a chef but blimey, it was offensive to eat her cooking.

'But Alice! Take-out?!' I say pouting.

'The boys already decided they want fajitas.'

Blegh!

'You know I hate fajitas.' I grumble, or rather her fajitas. Yuck.

'Edward said you had your own dinner?' She says smartly and with that my grumbling is silenced.

Jasper offers me a warm smile when he jumps in the back, complimenting me on the beauty that is my wheels.

'Thanks. She's just had her maintenance done!'

He congratulates me like a jackass and makes a few comments over how he's looking forward to chatting with everyone tonight. Part of me is starting to panic over how close he and my flatmate are. The grin suggests he's reading my brain. When I don't reveal anything he finally drops me in it;

'How'd it go with Cullen?' He asks playfully, smirking to himself like I'm some sorta twirp.

You just had to, you shit!

Alice pipes up, I shoot daggers in the rear view mirror. Goddammit, Jasper!

'How'd what go with Cullen?' She asks, intrigued. Her wide brown eyes seem to be growing even wider, like I'm about to get told off. Which is not what I want when she's got spikes on her wrists.

'Don't say a word…' I say robotically, clenching my teeth.

'Jaaaaazzz….' She says, throwing herself backwards to flutter her eyelashes at him. She places a quick peck on his cheek and without hesitation, his mouth moves.

'She bought porn for Carlisle.' he says quickly, his shoulders slumped because he's anticipated my explosive reaction.

'Jasper!' I growl. He's so lucky I'm driving or I might hit him one.

'You did what?!'

Thank you, thank you so much you blonde fucking cowboy pussyhole.

'It was just a joke!' I lie, hiding from her disapproval. I'm making sure Jasper can see I'm furious. But like the ass he is, he smirks. Fucking blondes thinking they're angels or some shit.

'You bought porn for Carlisle?! Why, Esme, why?!'

Though she's angry, hearing her say porn is funny. She can't even deal with the word condom-though I did think that about Carlisle the other week and now look where we are.

With the very idea of him and condoms as a turn on.

'I thought he'd appreciate it!' My voice is getting awkwardly high-pitched.

'Edward, I'd understand what with Bella- but Carlisle?! What on Earth were you thinking?! What does he need porn for?!' She chides, still sounding annoyed.

The urge to yell in her face that Carlisle is the epitome of sex on legs is almost too much. Something stops me. Probably the fact that I don't want her to know how hot Cullen is. I want that to belong to me. However selfish that is.

'I was saving him from blue balls?' I was saving me from blue -urm- ovaries?

Jasper laughs until he sees Alice's face.

'He just looked like he needed a relief…' I murmur, guiltily. Though I'm now thinking that this can also be read as a weird suggestion of jealousy. In fairness, I am jealous. Jealous of how much time some nurse strangers get with him. Jealous of his patients, of his work colleagues. Jealous of the work he's committed to. Seven days is a long time. What am I meant to do with myself?

'Is this before or after you made him check your vagina?!' She demands, outraged.

What is it with these two and secrets?!

'Alice!' I seethe, indicating her blushing -but still laughing- boyfriend… I'll bloody rip those permed locks right from his goddamn-

'It's not like it worked or anything!' I grumble, and my insides grumble too…just needed him out of my system! Or rather in my system? Mmm.

Jasper is still laughing. It's getting on my tits.

'Obviously not!' She hisses.

'But hey, least I know he's straight now?' I say with a shrug.

'You didn't realise he was straight?!'

What's the point in talking to Alice if she's going to get mad?! I push my hair back and roll my eyes.

'His girlfriend is coming over today…' I add, shutting them both up instantly. Alice isn't sharing the excited tone I imagined, she's confused, maybe a little annoyed.

'Girlfriend?!' She says as if it's a foreign word. From behind, Jasper looks a little horrified. Which is equally as strange?

'Well okay, maybe not girlfriend but my co-worker. She was completely all over him so he invited her for a drink.'

Much to my utter disgust and disapproval.

'We're going for drinks?' She asks hopefully.

'At our house, Dumbo.'

'Did he invite her out before or after the porn incident?' Jasper questions, still chuckling. Shut the heck up, killing my pride.

'Before…' I admit

He laughs a lot louder and so does Alice but they can shut up because we're on the drive and I don't want this conversation following us into the house.

Goddamn the two of them.

Jasper heads straight for the TV once we're inside, Alice for the kitchen where Edward is mid-writing an essay which gives me a few moments to go grab Emmett's DVDs.

And they're not in the usual space I last put them…I'm dreading going into Edward's room so I find an excuse to look harder in Carlisle's room when blow me down… I actually find them hidden by the side of his bed next to the laptop.

Gingerly, and I mean gingerly because ew, I open up the disk drive to find one of the DVDs in the slot which is the biggest surprise of my whole entire life. I've opened a worm hole. But my interest burns like an engulfing flame and like a twit, I read the browsers he's got open.

Nope. Nothing. Just things to do with Doctor's shit. But this can't be it? You can't tell me Cullen actually fucking watched a porn DVD?!

So now I don't know what's weirder? The fact he's got them stacked neatly by the underside of his bed or the fact that it looks like… one has been watched? I really should just give him his privacy and return Emmett's stuff... Yet curiosity is my greatest attribute so I go on a miniature hunt for some secondary evidence. It'd be pretty rude if he just disposed of his films, which is essentially what I'm looking for. If he's passed them along to Edward, as I suspect, I'll be fucking furious.

But that wouldn't explain the DVD in the disk drive? Unless Edward borrowed the laptop which is making me want to hurl my fucking guts up.

With that in mind, I wrench Cullen's bedside drawer open. Yes alright, it's an invasion of privacy but the guy hadn't even looked at a girl until this week and I've just got to know. The first thing that I notice is the blotch ink pen, his favourite, is close by the KY jelly. Which is a weird place for a pen to be but oh-well. I look into the tub but I'm disappointed. He hasn't used any yet. Maybe he didn't watch the DVD, then? Maybe I'm literally looking wayyyy too much into this?

I mean... when would he have had time? I'd been with him near on every night?

Though it is with great excitement I find the handcuffs but I place them back carefully, making sure I check through all the titles of the films to ensure the rightful owner.

The ones I gifted are mainly just lesbian fantasies or guy to girl rather than anything too weird. He clearly hasn't watched my favourite; some kind of 'naughty nurse' role play thing which I thought would be funny. That's not Emmett's though so I can leave that where it is. I go to check the last title on the bottom of the pile when I'm met with confusion. This isn't a DVD?

And it doesn't have a title on it either. It's actually a small notepad, no bigger than A5 with a beautiful, leather casing and crisp cream coloured paper that's thick and smooth to the touch. I guess that explains the pen? So I open it up and nearly implode.

I'm going to fucking kill over, I swear.

The real jackpot.

With utter disregard, I pull the covers apart to give a real show to his ink work, letting my jaw hit the ground as I read. He's a better artist than he would ever admit to either me or Edward. The figures aren't perfect but then they're hardly figures, they're diagrams. I think?

They're mainly just blotchy line drawings of the naked human body, which is super weird considering who drew them, but nevertheless pretty. As an artist myself, there is little need to comment. How many times had I drawn naked figures without so much of a battered eyelid? Human bodies were just that. Human. And it made perfect sense for us all to attempt to commit their variety to paper.

Though I am starting to wonder where he's getting his inspiration from unless it iw which is super weird. Since when did Carlisle draw anyway? But I ignore the questions and keep flicking through the pages.

Hey, look some of these have got notes written underneath… That's so….Urm? Unique?

It's while flicking through the racy drawings upon really, really racy drawings (I'm not going to lie when I say I'm starting to sweat a little and my mouth is going dry) that I sense a theme…

It's like he's writing advice? Instructions? Examples? As if- he's trying to teach the theory ... orgasm?

Oh.

His handwriting is painfully neat, complicating the images, winding my gut up into more guilt and more fizzing emotions when I read the most beautifully written line in the whole of history:

'Flick tongue in circular motions ?'….

I'm fucking coming right now, I swear to God.

'Alice says you're taking ages- oh you're in here?' Jasper's standing in the doorway of Cullen's room frowning at me as I sit in front of my new found treasures, breathing hard.

'Emmett says he's on his way and Carlisle- hold on. Are you alright?' He stares curiously, breaking his usual stone face (as in looking, not literally), with tones of confusion.

'I'm fine?' I say slowly, trying to calm my excited heart. Though that's not the excited thing which needs calming...I'm in definite need of a shower. Seeing Jasper however is definitely an unfortunate cold bucket to my tingling nerves.

I try to cough normally but it's hard when your mind is distracted.

Hard. Eurgh- what the fuck is Carlisle doing to me?! But I guess if he's attempting to learn the basic theory to sex then that means he's comfortable with the concept? Maybe I should buy him Johnnies too? Maybe I should say fuck it and jump on his cock?

'You're blushing.' Jasper says suspiciously, it kind of helps bring me back into the present. And it's kinda reminding me that if I want what I know I want, then Jasper better get outta my sight ASAP before he ruins it all.

'Whatever- Tell Alice I'll be down in a second, I'm going for a shower.' I murmur with a shrug, playing the nonchalant fool and dismissing him downstairs as quickly as possible.

I can't explain the jittery sensation running through my veins as I let the steam of the shower cloud up but I decide to embrace it. Shoving up my hair and climbing into the stream of water, I delicately wash over my naked skin with not my soap but his.

With the drawings and the casual thought of Cullen and porn playing on my mind, things heat up quickly.

The scent of his soap is making my head spin. It's on my neck, over my shoulders, around my tits as if Carlisle himself is standing behind me, shrouding my nudity. With his indulging amazement. It's a hot idea, greatly inspired by his art. Cullen, as naked as I stand now, his tall and muscular body behind mine, his arousal thick, pushing against my hip as he puts that smart mouth to work on kissing along my shoulders.

But his hands would be the heaven.

I can see how they would replace mine, skirting over my breasts, rubbing over my hardened nipples slipping down to where I'm wet with a different kind of moisture. I hiss as the movements increase a little, slipping in and out of my slick folds, slipping all over so that I fall to the wall for support.

But the wall bears against my bruised backside so that now I'm hissing out of pain. I try to ignore it, focus on my excitement and what I could see to be his, letting myself almost feel Carlisle using his left hand. There's electricity running through my nerves, my teeth sink into my bottom lip where I feel the cut from yesterday.

That's two injuries so far.

No, stop it. I'm not thinking about this, I'm enjoying myself. I'm rubbing uncoordinated circles into myself, close to where my clit is without quite touching it. Teasing myself. But I'd tease him too. I'd wrap my legs around his calves and push him to the wall so that his erection is against my stomach. All I'd have to do is touch him and he'd groan.

The speed of own hand increases with the series of false images that spring to mind. Letting the idea of him touch me as I rub myself against the sensation. He'd throw his head back to the wall with a shudder, pushing his wet hair out the way of his eyes so he could watch me grasp his firm shaft. Taunting him with an agonisingly slow movement, stroking him so slowly. A grunt would leave his open mouth, much like the silent ones falling from mine right now, and he'd throw his head back again in ecstasy. Those hips of his would start to meet the thrust of my grip. His hands would roam my body, pinching delicately, letting me moan in delight.

Perhaps we'd tongue for a bit. My own hot breath would slip from his firers mouth, down his panting chest, following the line his muscles. I'd suck the skin there, feeling him shiver, lowering my mouth to the fine hair below his stomach. I want to picture the look on his face when I take his cock in my mouth. I want to feel him shiver and gasp because of me. I want his slick hands to keep pulsing inside me. I want to scream his name-

But a cold shower of injustice is finally thrown over my shoulders. With the thought of sucking cock, I can't barricade the multitude of scenes from the office today. In horror, I keep trying to hold onto my good thought. The idea of letting Cullen ravish me.

It's too late. In utter shame, my hands stop moving and drop. There's no arousal anymore, no excitement. Just disgust. My stomach hurts. My ass hurts. My lip hurts. My thigh hurts.

Everything is tainted.

The water continues to rain down on my body no longer seeming like the rush of anticipation. Rather just washing away the sins. Without much washing.

Ruined.

Unsatisfied and feeling too panicky to stop the images at the office from haunting my every thought, I scrub at my skin and climb out the shower to stare at my reflection for a second time today. I can't see how it pleased me earlier. I'm currently disgusted. Made worse of course by the purple bruise on my backside, the scab on my thigh, on my wrist...

I dry quickly, miserably, in something simple like jeans and a t-shirt that doesn't belong to me but at least the smell is making me feel better. I decide to pull the sides of my hair up so that the loose waves of this afternoon are once more cascading down my back just as Carlisle had arranged. Except I pinch a few strands loose, rub my face with moisturiser instead of make-up and rather than pull on stilettos, I grab fluffy socks and pull them up my ankle.

Alice frowns at me when I enter the steamy kitchen. Cullen's plain white T is clearly too big for me and keeps slipping just slightly off my shoulder like some sort of 80s outfit. Which explains her disapproval, I guess, but I have tucked the front into my pants and I added jewelry.

'You look…homely?' This isn't compliment.

'Thanks.' I murmur quietly, taking one of the stools by Edward. Shrugging, she reimburses herself in the focus of her cooking, helping herself to every cupboard she can lay her tiny hands on.

I can't stop thinking about the office. And worse than the office: the fact that Tilly saw- everything.

Several minutes pass before I realise Edward is also frowning at me.

'What?'

We're both surprised by my impatient tone but I don't have the energy to explain myself. Or do anything. All of a sudden I just want to curl up and sleep.

Why does shit like this take so long to hit?

'Are you okay?'

'I'm…' As guessed, I'm about to say that disgusting word when I realise if I do, there's going to be a fuss made. Alice is in the room. She's familiar with girl code and considering even Cullen refuses to accept it at times, I know I won't get away with it here. 'Yes.' I reply instead.

'Sure?'

'Why?' I retort pathetically, rubbing my eyes as if to answer that I'm tired but something about it is weird. I think I've just stolen one of Carlisle's moves?

'You just look a little…?' The expression on his face suggests that for once he's favouring the safety of silence rather than the teasing of a teenager. He seems concerned?

'What, Edward?'

Alice has turned to watch at the both of us, as if offended over her own lack of attention. I try my best to perk up a little but I really don't feel like it.

'You look gaunt?' Alice realises. I glare at her.

'I was gunna say distracted. And not in a good way.' You can read in his face that he's just about to give a childish wink (dedicated, as guessed, to Cullen) but decides against it. Wise move. I'm not going to chase after him or hit him or even hurtle abuse. It'd be nice if he didn't take advantage.

'Stressed.' I reply honestly and part of my body sighs in relief when he grins and throw his hands to his laptop.

'Tell me about it. Fuck essays.' The hard shape of his jaw takes over from my own selfish thinking and I give a moment to appreciate he is genuinely trying.

'Don't worry about it now, Edward. You've still got time.'

'That's what I said last week!' He complains, losing his hand beneath the chaos of his copper hair.

Despite my mood, I smile a little. 'Just, chill out. You're not going to get anything done by now.'

He sighs and accepts my words without much deliberation. Closing the lid of the laptop, he moves to grab three large glasses and fills them with a spirit and a mixer from the top of the fridge.

And guess who he gives the largest glass to.

'Thanks, Kid.' I take my glass, place it in front of me and let Alice take heed in whatever conversation she's trying to have while Edward bounds out the room, clearly happy to be wasting his time with Jasper and the TV instead.

For a while, I just let her fill the silent air with useless chatter. This changes within a moment or so, however. Alice is my best friend. One of them at least. I have every responsibility to be involved in her day. So I take an active role in helping with dinner, using the correct ingredients till the pan is smelling gorgeously spicy. The pint glass of my spirit, I'm ignoring for now.

Before long, there's the heavy thump of Emmett's fist banging on the door and I hear the two boys in the living room cheerfully greet their buddy like we're at a hockey match.

Rose and Bella come through the alcove of the kitchen door, semi-dressed up but surprisingly happy to see us. Perhaps they're drunk already?

Bella has her hair in a classy plait clipped to her head like a handmaid. She's wearing jeans, skinny dark ones like me, except she's been brave and worn a fancy top that, tries, to show her 'cleavage' with tall blue heels. I can't imagine what to say of Rose except that she could wear a bin-bag and out dress me. Her make-up is dark with a risky red lip, suggesting Emmett is getting lucky tonight. Her hair is long and straight and her outfit, though a summery looking dress, seems surprisingly to fit the casual theme of everyone's clothes.

'Thanks for my car.' I say as a greeting because I really am grateful and I need to get that out before I look like a sulky ballsack.

For once, she smiles and nods in acceptance.

'Old but a classic.'

Ouch.

'We basically had to gut her insides and re-work her completely. She pretty much had gender reassignment surgery. How on earth were you letting that guttural engine get you anywhere?'

I laugh and roll my eyes. 'I'm very grateful. How much do I owe you?'

Both she and Bella frown at me.

'Carlisle didn't say?' Bella asks confused, she looks to Rosalie who is glaring at her and then smiles at Alice who has a bit of a blank expression on her face.

Like they're all silently communicating?

'Say what?' I ask slowly. Maybe this is why she's blank. Maybe she's afraid I'm building up a temper to unleash.

'He's paid in full? Told us-…oh wait.' Bella's cheeks seem to darken in colour and with a panicked expression, she gnaws at her lip. 'He might've have asked us not to say anything?'

'Great one, Holmes.' Rosalie mutters, looking at Alice who is suddenly giggling.

'Oh God. Please don't tell him- just forget I said anything. Maybe he didn't pay? Maybe it was a mysterious-'

'Shut up, Bella.' Rose murmurs and out of nowhere, we all burst into laughter at her expense.

For the moment, I don't know whether to be pissed or not. Usually I would be but I guess if he's tried to conceal his purchase- Why am I making excuses for his Edwardian comments on my sex?! And why am I feeling exceptionally giddy at the mention of his name?! I live with this guy?!

Emmett comes chanting through the door then, thankfully, Jasper and Edward in tow, singing some drinking song with an unfortunately loud tone.

'Aaaaand when we drink with Esme, she downs it all in- hey.' His song ends quickly and he points an excusing finger at me. 'Where's your drink?'

I roll my eyes and nod to the table.

'So-help-me, that better be your third. Check out the luggage!' He throws said 'luggage' onto the counter and grins so wide I think his face is about to split. The luggage is about three bottles of spirits, three bottles of mixer, wine and a cheeky bottle of fancy champagne which I expect is stolen property from somewhere.

'Let's get hammered !' He roars cheerfully, still pointing a large finger at me and dancing pathetically so that the girls cheer with laughter.

'Alright, who let Em start early?' I complain, watching him help himself to my electricity and insert not only his phone but his speakers as well until music is blaring in my ears.

I have to really hold my nerves to stop myself from yelling at him considering my headache at the moment but then I remember it's only Emmett and as annoying as his antics are, he is only trying to have a laugh. Which is evident in his stupid dance moves. I take over once more from Alice who's crossed the room to snuggle up to her boyfriend meaning that as I stir this food, I'm consciously aware everyone is coupling up and it's weird… Especially when the only person I want to couple with has already decided on his person-. Urgh.

Stupid-ass-piece-of-polite-gentlemanly-morals.

'You okay, Es?'

'Jasper if you don't stop asking, I swear I'm going to yell at you!' I mockingly grumble, making sure to smile so that he knows I'm 'partly' joking.

He shrugs and smiles at Alice but there's just something about the way he's staring at me that is making me a little self-conscious. It's like he's pulling a Cullen and reading my every motion.

'Dinner's nearly done.' I inform them, turning down the heat on all the hobs and instructing them to grab a plate and what not. It's good timing. The sound of keys grabs my attention and with my face turned towards his inevitable entrance, I hear him cheerfully sing:

'I'm home!'

He's just shrugging out of his running jacket as he enters the kitchen, looking suitably gorgeous with his usual grin and his unusual ragged locks. It's a look I neither expected nor fail to appreciate.

'Smells good.' He praises, making sure to do the round of miniature greetings. Chatting with Edward about a car piece, complimenting Rosalie on her dress as bought by Alice, informing Bella about her father's colleague, discussing news with Jasper and teasing Emmett, all in one.

Finally, he sidles up beside me, his breath in my hair and his chest close to my back, peering over my shoulder to check out today's menu. A huge wave of relief falls across my posture and all the frustrations and confusions and damn right feelings of disgust seem to evaporate when I gaze at him.

'You finished early?' I comment, smiling shyly as he stands closely to my side, fascinated by the actions of my hands. It's a shame I can't recapture this moment and rewind back to my shower scene.

'Great surgery!' He says proudly and when I finally turn towards him, the whole expression on his face is relieved excitement. He's so gorgeous.

He leans a hand across to grab whatever food in reach but I gently swat him away.

'Hey,' he whines sounding so many years his junior. He knows what I'm going to say.

'You've just ran from work, go get showered and we can eat.'

'Es! I'm starved!'

'Go on, dinner can wait.' I say cheekily.

He frowns before heaving up a sigh and quickly rushes up the stairs, ignoring Emmett's teasing from behind him. It gives everyone else the chance to grab a plate and then a good enough seat in the living room. I follow after with just my drink in my hand. Even though I cooked it, I can't quite bring myself to eat just yet. Not in the mood.

Particularly when there's butterflies in my stomach...

So I just stay silent for several minutes and let their wings graze my insides.

'Not grabbing dinner?' Carlisle suddenly asks, freshly washed from the shower and standing in front of me on the furthest side of the sofa as though he's going to sit at my legs. I didn't even see him come back in and now he's standing over me, plate in hand, so that I'm facing his abdomen. Beautiful, beautiful abdomen covered by that gorgeously tight black tee. Though art the true beauty of nature…

'Nah,' I say wrinkling my nose.

'But you like Mexican.' He says disapprovingly. He's smiling though I know he's seen the glass in my hand. With a grin he shrugs through his hair, the ends wet from where he scrubbed at his neck and his soap and cologne twisting joyously together in invitation to fall onto him.

'I'm fine.' I say, with a shrug. 'Not hungry.' Which is partly true.

'But thirsty?'

I watch him, unamused, shaking my head at him. For starters, it was one drink and I haven't even had chance to drink any yet! And in one quick swoop, he swipes the glass and places it far above my reach on one of the shelves behind. I briefly forget we're in a room full of people...

'Oi! Give that back!'

'Not until you go get something to eat first.' He says laughing, still making sure the glass is far out of my touch and leaning up. I could climb the guy like a tree but I don't. I frown.

Frown at that exposed stomach, the lines and the gorges of muscle and hardwork sending my overboard. I wanted to put the waistband of his underwear between my teeth and shred.

'Cullen.' I grumble.

'Platt.' He says with the same amount of excitement.

Why does he have to be really cute? Why can't he just let me semi-wallow in self-pity?!

'Stop being antisocial. Go grab some food and then you can have a drink.' He says, with a wink.

A wink. A fucking wink. He closes an eye at me. What the heck does that mean?!

'But I'm not hungry!' I complain juvenile like.

He shrugs his shoulders, waits for me to stand then steals my seat. I'm muttering under my breath but grab a plate from the fridge and heat it up till its spitting fire at me.

Everyone else has filled their chosen seats, leaving me space to sit on the floor below the television but I'm deliberately sitting in front of Cullen so that he doesn't forget he owes me. Then I set about picking at my food.

'If it makes you feel better…' he murmurs quietly, reaching across to grab his water from the table and seemingly looking like he's saying nothing at all. 'You look very comfortable this evening.'

My face frowns a little and I'm about to comment when he shyly adds; 'It's charmingly sweet,' before putting his glass to his mouth like nothing was said. It's enough to perk me up again.

I stare at him for several moments, my heart both racing and melting simultaneously and then with pink cheeks I look over to the group. They haven't even noticed. They're all chatting about some college thing while I grin like a moron. So I just lean into the vacant spot of his legs and appreciate the limb that hangs by my side. He's wearing his favourite jeans.

'I heard we're expecting a guest?' Edward says, causing a mess on his plate as he takes a huge bite out of his food.

Cullen smiles, a tight smile and nods.

'Yeah, Esme's work friend…' He says quickly.

'Oh no. You're not putting this on me! You invited her, you take full responsibility!' I complain, still avoiding dinner. Emmett's laughing. Work fiend more like.

'I was being polite!' He defends weakly.

'No, being polite would be to leave her alone and not string her along,' I argue, elbowing the leg that's hanging down near me. He's sitting on the other one.

He sighs, ignoring the jeers of the boys and says simply 'Maybe I'm not stringing her along….'

I want to drop my plate.

In fact, I want to throw it at him because after four years, and a good week of having a fucking gorgeous body, he suddenly decides he's going to waste it on Tilly. Tilly?! After he just called me cute!

I think my face betrays all because in my peripheral vision I see Alice watching me.

'When is she coming round?' Bella asks, taking a few of the empty plates and putting them in the dishwasher like she lives here. I should say now, I actually really do like Bella, and this only reinforces that love for her. I quickly hand her my plate when I think he's not looking.

'I think I said Seven thirty?' Carlisle says offhandedly. I reach up on my tiptoes for my glass and manage to grasp it to which he doesn't stop me. Good. With the reminder that Tilly is entering my home I need as much alcohol in my system as I can get.

'Yay.' I mutter, Jasper laughs this time.

'So hold on, you invited a girl round?' Emmett questions, frowning specifically at me. I know what he's saying, he's all like: ' Told you those DVDs would work.'

Well they didn't really?! Or maybe they did? If after all that research upstairs, he does waste it on Tilly-. Holy Hell, I will kick off! Well, I won't kick-off but man, I will be mad! What a waste of a fine ass speci-man.

'I did…' Measured words from Carlisle as he conceals his face once more.

'Why?' Emmett persists.

I look up and watch him run his tongue along the bottom line of his top teeth, looking incredibly sexy as he does it. Goddamn, what is with the guy. Being all… utterly gorgeous?

He says something to Emmett with his eyes, something I can't read and then shares his laughter while I grumble about sitting on the floor, about the fact that Tilly is invading my life, about everything I can think of.

To be honest though, we're having a pretty nice conversation. We're all planning a baseball match next week which I'm pretty excited for. I like baseball, especially when we play it together. It'll be fun. I have to tell Bella this like six times but very soon, we all agree it's the best way to spend our time.

'I'm a fantastic pitcher, I'll have you know!' I retort to Edward who's made some comment under his breath.

'More like a fantastic picture, Es.' Carlisle teases and for the moment I forget this isn't meant to be a compliment. The group laughs, I pretend to be annoyed but I'm actually feeling quite content with my neck against the sofa, ignoring issues for tomorrow and committing every new detail of his smirk to memory.

The doorbell rings then and that's when I choose to intoxicate myself beyond oblivion.