To start with- this is my favourite chapter so far.

It's been my favourite to write and to read and I can only hope you see why!

If you could be so kind as to share your thoughts with this chapter, I'd be hella- grateful! And as always, thank you so much for your continuous support. In returns, this one is a long one and it's up earlier than I'd planned!

The fact that even after personally speaking with Carlisle to confirm I'm on my way, Alice still feels the need to phone me - is seriously winding me up. My hair is a state and there's nothing I can do other than tie it behind me and hope it'll do. My trainers are scuffed from Wednesday's hike, my joggers are feeling weirdly too loose for me and the only shirt I have to wear is a freaking sports bra.

Which is why I shouldn't forget to do the washing.

I wash my face, brush my teeth and grab my purse and phone, without answering it, before bounding down the stairs in a jump.

Carlisle is sat on the sofa, leg folded over the other, wearing his black jacket and reading the newspaper though it's not bringing any interest

'Time check?' I ask, running through to the kitchen to search through our washing pile. It takes several panicked moments to eventually find something appropriate but I grab it and pull it over my head.

'Five minutes before we have to leave.'

I grab the juice cartoon from the fridge, fill a glass and drain it in a few seconds. We haven't got a lot of food left, especially where we fed so many people last night. All my left overs are starting to disturb my nose. I dump them in the trash with a grimace. I guess that means shopping then.

Rushing around still, I grab a towel and shower stuff in my gym bag and throw it to the arm chair. Done, ready. Fantastic.

My phone rings again and despite my jitteriness, I answer it to shut her up.

'If you wanted to talk to me so bad- you wouldn't have left early!' I say by way of greeting.

'Have you even left yet?!'

Cullen can hear her perfectly well and with a smile, he rises and drops the paper to the sofa, jingling his keys to announce he's ready.

'Yes, we're just leaving.'

'We?'

'I'll see you there!' I hold the end call button and run down the porch steps. He unlocks the car from where he's standing and locks the front door, skipping a few steps to reflect my urgency.

'You just locked Edward in.' I murmur, clipping my seat belt into place. He starts up the engine, winds down his window and shakes his head.

'Nah, they left with Alice. Breakfast apparently.'

The car journey won't be a long one but while I have a chance, I take in how he's feeling today. Shy, according to how he avoids looking at me full on. But calm and thoughtful. He's back to his normal complexion. No rosy panic to highlight his face nor protruding slap to burn his cheeks. His eyes are bright and piercing, his nose thin and long and his smile incredibly patient.

'Breakfast?' I ask, confused.

'That's what their note said.'

He spots my look and gently titters. 'I wouldn't take it to heart, we were asleep.'

'You mean I was.'

Like I said, Cullen never sleeps in. He never relaxes, he sticks to his pattern.

'No. I was, too.' He peaks in the rear view mirror then to me. 'For quite a long time as well. I was pleasantly surprised.'

'How long were you awake before you woke me up?'

I am glad he woke me up. Even if I didn't seem grateful at the time, I hate feeling like I've wasted a day. Especially a Saturday.

'No more than an hour.' He promises.

An hour? Wow, that's not bad? He actually did sleep well.

'So you didn't go for a run?' What happened to the pattern? He's completely messed up his schedule?

'Not today. Wouldn't have been wise without...' he stops his sentence and laughs gently, eyes dropping sweetly to the crotch of his pants. Our toothpaste is pleasantly stinging my nostrils.

'Oh.'

'Mmm.'

'Carlisle?'

'Yes?'

We're not far from the yoga class now. No more than a street away. My bravery seem to shake a little and I'm struggling to look at him without feeling like a total villain.

'I'm...urm… Sorry for last night?' My bumbling words make even worse of a noise as I find myself looking at my nails.

'Why?'

I blush a little and squint to try and take away from my embarrassment. It's overcast but the chance of a warm sunny day is so close that I hope for it greedily. I don't even want to admit that I hate how clingy I was- I don't want to draw any more attention to my sad life.

'I wasn't exactly very nice. I shouldn't have made you uncomfortable.'

The way he drives has me fawning over him. He's so at one with the vehicle, every movement flowing into another without needing his attention. But he does pay attention. He takes notice of everything. He'd be a driving instructor's wet dream.

Oh. Wet dream….

We're both fighting smiles.

'You didn't make me uncomfortable, Esme?'

Characteristically, I laugh out loud and then apologise for my rash interjection.

'I wasn't uncomfortable.' He clarifies, carefully. 'Panicky, maybe? Over-reacting? Sure. Completely nervous? For definite!'

'I shouldn't have put you in that position. It was cruel of me.'

He grimaces and eventually laughs.

'Okay, I'll give you that. It was probably the longest night of my life. And I'm not impressed that I've lost underwear and an alarm-clock over it. I guess it was worth it though? I mean, here we are? We survived.'

He parks up right to the doors of the hall and faces me silently.

'Don't be embarrassed?' He pleads.

'I'm not embarrassed.' I answer sullenly. 'I'm ashamed.'

He inhales through his nose and smiles again, breathing evenly. 'Well don't be ashamed either? The only reason, absolute only reason I didn't go through with it is because you were drunk.'

'That's the only reason?' I question suspiciously.

'I promise you.'

Disbelieving every lush word from that pretty mouth of his, I push open the car door, preparing to run indoors.

'You're full of crap but thanks for trying.' I murmur softly. He rolls his eyes, flicking the engine on with his hand and making a face at digital numbers on his dashboard.

'I'll pick you up in about an hour.'

'Good, I need to go shopping. Running low on food.'

It's weird that I don't include him in the sentence but he hasn't noticed. Unfortunately though, I have noticed. I know what that means. I know what it completely stands for if I'm seconds away from begging him not to drive away. It means he's got to go to Alaska.

'Es?'

Why is it that stupid things such as his fucking voice are enough to make me want to lay against him? Just some kind of contact. Anything.

'Yes babe-Hon- Er. Shit. Carlisle?! Yes, Carlisle?'

He reels back slightly, raising an eyebrow at me as I try not to look like a complete invalid. Too late. I'm a twit. He smirks, blue eyes hitting me in the face until they drop to my hands.

'You've got toothpaste on your lip.' Leaning over, he drags a thumb from the corner of my mouth to the middle of my lip, his fingertips dragging softly against my cheek as I fall against him slightly.

And I was doing so good to just be moderately attracted to him, this morning. Now I'm back to wanting to ravish him-. Urgh.

'You better go.'

'Uh.' I mutter dazedly, breathing in a stutter to his hand. He smiles beautifully and pulls away, gesturing behind me.

'Alice is on her way.' He warns, playfully.

'Eurgh. I'll see you later-'

No. Come back?

It's too late. Once I begrudgingly pull myself to the safety of the pavement, he puts the car in the correct gear and drives off. I regret this fucking class.

Alice is still clearly in a stage of intoxication because she's overly giggling as she clings into my arm and pulls me towards the hall. Blondie and Bella are there, Bella looking like hell and Blondie looking like a bloody sports advert.

'Tell all!' Alice demands once we've arranged ourselves in the hall. I suspect she wasn't intending to drag Blondie and Bella in on this conversation but she shouts that loudly that both of them turn around, confused.

It's busier in here today. There's a lot of people and the instructor at the front is having to yell so that her grating nasally voice turns my ear drums to vomit.

'What?' I ask, settling out the matt and stretching my leg over the other. The clicking of my spine creeps me out and I shudder quickly.

'Don't 'what' me, tell me everything. I want an explanation!'

The bitch in me snorts.

'You gunna explain about Edward slapping-'

'Do I need to?!' She asks impatiently and more than genuinely asking, it's clear this is an attempt to dismiss my interjections.

'Someone needs to.' I mutter, continuing to point and stretch my legs as encouraged.

'Stop stalling, you slag and bring me up to speed!'

It's very casual for Alice and I to emphasis our love of each other by way of insults. However today, it catches me off guard and I find myself staring at the wall trying very hard not to take this jab personally. The instructor's pitch gets higher, clearly a hint for my buddy over here to stop blabbering so loud but for a hint it matters nothing. Alice had this class wrapped around herself twice over. She's an expert to every move and can do it without thinking.

In front, Rose giggles a little. It makes the hairs on my neck stand on edge.

'Speed on what?' I hush back, still annoyed that she's chosen to insult me so openly when I'm clearly not in the mood.

I can't be in any kind of mood other than misery. Not if I'm going to persuade Carlisle to flounce of for a week. He has to, it's for work. He can't simply not go. He's wasting such an amazing opportunity. I'm not going to be the person to hold him back. The preparation for this matter however is a painful thought. Regardless of how much I would see him in a usual week, which is next to not at all most months, the loss of his presence is going to suck.

'Seriously?! Do you really not even love me anymore?'

'Cut the crap and get to the point!' I complain breathily, pushing against my tiptoes to find my unsteady balance.

'Carlisle and you!' She hisses and it's enough of a tone to push me right over.

Bella looks relieved that she's not the only one falling about but also pink in the cheeks and in a physical pain attributed to her sense of humiliation. For once, I'm sharing it.

'What are you on about, there is no Carlisle and me?!' I say that with so much conviction that I don't even believe myself.

For fuck sake, stop rubbing my nose in it. She's got her fun, she's got a partner. Can't she just leave me alone?

She guffaws loudly and gets told off by the lady at the front. She's got it in for me. Not the instructor. Alice. Alice is going to kill me. Luckily enough, she stays silent for the rest of the session. Curiously looking over to me every two seconds in case I give myself away. I'm lucky enough that I'm flushed due to the rush of blood in my veins and not just how badly I want to be eaten up by the floor.

It's a horrible hour. A little because I'm fairly hung over though mainly because I can't do anything without being on surveillance by my best friend. I'm near death when it ends and so turn immediately to Bella rather than give Alice a chance to swamp me.

'How was that? Not so bad?'

'Death would be nicer.' She murmurs, playfully and squeezing the towel to her face, she sighs a little.

'Think of the pants. Em says there's nothing more attractive than a girl in yoga pants.' Rose proudly brags.

Part of me wants to say that's because Emmett's a pervert but I silence myself and smile at Bella.

'Don't do it for a guy, do it for yourself.'

'Obviously.' Blondie interjects. 'I was just listing the positives.'

'Yes well-'

'Jazz says he can always tell if I've worked out. Says he can feel it…'

I've tuned myself out. Bella has too but she's polite enough to at least pretend she's listening. It winds me up that the girls could be like this. I love Alice. Jasper's cool, too. But they're so absorbed in each other, they think the world revolves around them. And sex.

And then mock the fact that some twat like me is constantly on the prowl for the same thing. I need to shut up, I'm becoming bitter. I'm starting to sound like double my age.

Instead of explaining myself, because they're stuck in their promotions of their boyfriends, I make my way to the shower room. They follow out of habit and I pull out my wash stuff before hiding out in one of the showers.

I should've just washed at home, this is gruelling and their conversation is killing me.

'Es?'

'Huh?' I call over the stream of the water.

Here's the other thing about these crappy locker-room showers, the water doesn't run warm. It runs from hypothermic to scolding. I settle for the scolding and try not to complain out loud when it comes to incinerating my hair.

'Go on, Carlisle and you!'

I'm not an idiot, I can hear the other two walking around giggling and it's making me even more paranoid.

'There's nothing to tell, Alice!'

'Aww, come on. We're all friends here?'

The phrase makes me shudder and I deliberately let the water run over my face, making it impossible to talk. The smell of my soap is pretty gross, too. It's not the mint or the pine that I wanted yesterday. It's like an overpowering fruit which is making my mouth feel dry.

'There is nothing to tell!' I burble, scrubbing roughly at my skin. My butt looks better today, yellowy purple rather than eggplant colour. Jeeez, I hadn't even thought about that last night? A purple rear would definitely been a turn-off.

'Dude, don't even try it. I saw you guys this morning.'

The squeak of me silencing the tap is the same noise as Rosalie's giggly gasp.

'We weren't even awake this morning?'

I wrap the towel tightly around my bust and squeeze the water from my hair. When I pull back the shower curtain, first to rearrange my hair into a nicer standard, I spot them all gawking at me.

Alice looks overcome with pride.

'What?' I ask panicked.

'Fucking hell, your legs!'

'My legs?!' I look down at my legs and crumble even more. They're dumpy and awkward and look even worse from up here. Especially without the bandage. I touch the skin around it gently, make a face and then investigate my wrist, too. Yet another thing I didn't notice last night. No wonder he found it so easy to change the sitution once more.

The burn is on its way to getting better. It's drying up, it just doesn't look friendly.

'I spilt coffee.' I explain quickly, re-inspecting my wrist again to judge which looked worse. That's fine. It feels fine. It's just my ass that stings. Luckily the towel is covering that.

'I've told her.' Alice sings with a smile but Rosalie looks like she wants to kill me.

'What?' I repeat impatiently

'Shitting hell. Are you kidding me? Why her?'

This is why Rose can be a bitch.

'Hey! What is wrong with my legs?!'

Sure, I hate them on most days but they seemed to be doing okay last night- or maybe they weren't? Maybe that's why he was staring! Disgust...

'What's wrong with them? They're hot as hell! Where the heck did you get them!' Rose cheers.

It's such an aggressive compliment that I don't even slightly trust it, I just grab my stuff and grumpily shut myself in one of the little cupboards to change.

'I've been telling her for months to wear a skirt. She won't listen.'

This remark is ridiculously patronising but worse than that is the idea of wearing a skirt. Skirts had a way of blowing up my weight so that I looked like a hippo. Not flattering.

'Don't be embarrassed, Esme? We're just being jealous.' Rose taunts with a wicked laugh. This is the needed motivation for me to impatiently hurry my ass up and get changed into a long cardigan (that doesn't belong to me) and leggings.

'You think her legs are good, you should see her ass!'

'Alice!' I complain, whining a little. Jesus, it's like someone selling meat at a cattle market.

'What? Your ass is phenomenal. Your waist is, too. And your ti-'

I throw open the door and roll my eyes, making my way to the mirrors by the sink to try and sort out my hair but it just can't handle it. It's knotted and long and in desperate need of assistance.

'Can we just stop with the sucking up, please? I told you nothing happened and nothing happened. End of story, close the credits. Goodbye. Mic drop.'

'Esme.' She says knowingly, flicking her dark eyebrows up.

The only thing I can appreciate is Bella's genuine blush. She looks interested. Who wouldn't, right? But at least she's kind enough to be struggling with how it's playing out.

'Can I give you a report or are you going to shoot me down?'

'There's nothing to-'

'Firstly!' She interrupts, jumping to the bench so that her skirt flies up a little. I roll my eyes and rub my face. Jeeeez, when did I start to hate girl time? Girl time at the moment was making me the only mature one present. Chilling out with Alice is like being a giggly pre-schooler.

I make sure to deliberately glare into the mirror as I comb through the wet strands on my head.

'He invited a date-' She begins.

'Which ended badly, meaning-'

'Meaning, he's clearly trying to get your attention. He was the only one who brought a date and invited her into your home.'

Fucking hell, this girl is deluded.

'The reason he's the only one who brought a date is because all of you are dating each other. Anyway, I practically set them up-.'

'Exactly! He followed your advice.'

'Alice!' Stop correcting my arguments!

'He wouldn't stop staring at you all night, either.' Rose adds, smirking. She might as well be biting a lollipop and telling me she killed her parents because that's how creepy she's coming across now.

I edge onto the space by the sink and pull at my face. 'We were mid-conversation-'

'That's another point!' Alice adds cheerily. 'You only talked to each other. That and he fucking forbade me from running after you when you left the room.'

'What?'

'He didn't forbid anyone, Alice. He said to give her time.' Rose corrects.

Bella is looking sheepish.

'Alright fine, he demanded-'

'He didn't demand.'

'Rose, whose side are you on?! So he asked people not to bombard you and then went running after you himself-.'

'On Edward's instruction-' Bella adds weakly.

'Guys! Fucking hell!' I shout, exhausted by the ping-pong of information. 'Just give me the low down! What happened?!'

Alice makes a face and looks to the girls. Rose rolls her eyes.

'For fuck sake, you've already started it now, haven't you? So. You ran upstairs sobbing, Carlisle politely asked for what's-her-face to leave. She shoved him and called him a few things to which he ignored. He was pretty chill to be honest until Emmett put his foot in it.'

'Go on.' I demand, eagerly.

She fights her smile and continues.

'He asked us to give you your space and suggested sending us home but Alice somehow managed to persuade him otherwise-'

'I said he couldn't kick us out without firstly giving us an explanation and secondly letting us see you were okay.'

'Yeah. So that was fine. Then Em being drunk said he couldn't understand why you'd take it so badly and that-' Rose stops and grimaces slightly. I nod ahead, already anticipating the blow. 'He questioned why it was such a bad thing to hear when you prided yourself on being a slag.'

Ouch.

'And?' I force myself to ask through gritted teeth.

'And Carlisle lunged for him…' Bella says quietly.

For fuck sake, why am I only hearing about this now?! Apparently my face reveals my horror because Bella continues to explain herself hurriedly.

'Well no, he didn't lunge then. Emmett was drunk and made a few more dumb comments-'

'Like?!'

'… In this case you don't want to know.' Alice mumbles. 'It just managed to rival Carlisle up and he lost it but Edward grabbed him before he could do anything stupid.'

'Then why did he get slapped?' I ask irritably. Rose huffs and stands up in my way, blocking view of anything else as she tells off the other two.

'Whose telling this story? Edward held him back, there was yelling-'

'Define the yelling?!' I yell.

'Edward told him to calm down. He wasn't thinking clearly and then he went kinda nuts.' Bella murmurs.

That is not a definition.

They're all looking a little embarrassed at this moment and I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe because they're realising that it's out of order for them to go expelling Carlisle's least proud moments.

'It involved a lot of threats and dark promises and Edward kept trying to get him to chill and he just wouldn't. He was driving himself into a panic.'

'But why?'

The girls shrug.

'Your honour?' Rose guesses. 'He probably didn't appreciate the fact that you'd been humiliated. He came across a little-'

'Rose, he was fine.' Bella intervenes quickly, eyes to the floor. Rose bites her lip.

'What?! What were you going to say?!'

'All I was going to mention is that he seemed-'

'Not appropriate, Rose. He was clearly just emotional.' Bella weakly begs. For all I care at this moment, I could drop kick her into the opposite wall.

'Rosalie! Answer me!'

She rolls her light eyes again and looks to Bella who is shaking her head.

'He seemed a little jealous, that was all?'

'He seemed worried!' Bella corrects.

I stare at them blankly. My head is hurting so bad all because I have no idea whose perspective to trust. The idea of Cullen being jealous? It should appeal to me considering I spent all last night begging for his attention. At this moment it just seemed sick. The idea of him being jealous when he knew-. He couldn't be jealous, surely? But worried? Worried about what? He didn't seem worried when he came ranting into me.

He said himself he was hurt. He said it was because I was hurt. What if it was jealousy?

'He pretty much reached his peak at full speed. Grabbed his car keys and everything. He was halfway out the door when Edward slapped him.' Alice speaking now and she's a lot softer than she started off being.

'He was really concerned for you, Esme. I've never seen him so frantic.' Even Blondie is less of an ass.

If my heart beats any faster, I think I might faint. I'm feeling light headed.

'So Edward slapped him?'

'Apologised straight after.' Bella promises. 'And Carlisle thanked him. He was pretty weak on his feet. I think if Edward hadn't been hugging him, he would've collapsed to the floor. He was exhausted.'

He was struggling.

'And you guys saw all this?'

I could suddenly realise why Carlisle didn't want me to know. The embarrassment was probably eating him up from the inside out.

Alice nods. 'They stayed outside for a few minutes. Talked and stuff. Not sure what about. He just came back in, apologised, especially to Emmett and went straight upstairs.'

'Even when he dropped Em and me off, he wouldn't stop apologising about how out of line he'd been. Said that work's been tough at the moment. He's worried he's becoming a little over-sensitive.'

A brief image of little JD springs to mind and for a moment, I have to stop myself from letting the emotion make itself known on my cheeks.

'I didn't realise it was so bad…' I mutter, guilty, eyeing my shaky hands.

'It was explosive. And we promised not to tell you so we really are bitches at the moment.' Rose confirms. 'But he was fine after talking to you. Like a different person when he came back downstairs. Which brings us to the big question. What did you talk about?'

'We didn't talk for long! Just… talked about… urm…stuff.'

And then I tried to snog him. And then we argued. And then he danced with me. Now, here with are.

'Stuff?' Alice prompts, eagerly.

The mountain in my chest crumbles to nothing and I look at her stone-faced and breathe.

'I think I want to quit my job-.'

'Not surprised.' Rose mutters and gets elbowed by Bella. Who immediately regrets daring to even touch the goddess beside her.

'Is that it?'

'It was a long conversation. Took a lot of -…' I stop. I was trying to say persuasion but I don't think that's a good idea at the moment. 'Encouragement.'

'Right.' Alice agrees. The girls nod and I'm calm enough again to attempt a smile.

'But that still doesn't explain why you were naked in bed with him.'

'Alice!'

Fuck my LIFE.

'How did you even know about that?!' I hiss, embarrassed. I can feel the burn on my face, it's firing up as I breathe. Oh God. How the fuck am I meant to come back from that?

'So it's true?!' Rosalie squeals.

'Nothing happened!' I reiterate, covering my eyes. They laugh and despite how embarrassed I am, my mouth curves into a smile.

'Besides, I didn't even see anything. I was asleep by the time he got naked.' This isn't coming out much better.

'Why were you naked?'

'It's hot in his room. He's got the boiler in it?'

'He's also got a window.' Alice replies cleverly.

'I wasn't even naked, I was wearing a shirt!'

'His shirt.' Alice murmurs. 'Doesn't explain the random shower in the middle of the night, does it?'

Oh God, is it hot in here? It feels hot in here? Oh God. Oh God. They need to stop staring at me. Throwing my attention away, I squeeze some the excess water from my hair and shake some if the dampness from it.

'I don't know Alice-'

'If there's anyone more likely to shower after exercise- I would suggest it's your flatmate.'

'He's still a Virgin !' I emphasise, crumbling a little. Rose looks wide eyed at me and I crumble even more. Shit. I probably shouldn't be announcing this for all to hear.

'He's a-!'

'Sure he is, Esme. You were laying on him this morning. You're wearing his clothes now! Classic sign of sex!'

'You wear my clothes all the time!' I squeak desperately.

'Esme. Just admit it. He's got the hots for you and you're enjoying it.' Rose murmurs, laughing a little.

'Nothing happened!' I repeat for the thousandth time.

'All I'm saying Es, is that you need to be careful. He's your flatmate. It could end badly.'

'There wasn't even a beginning, Alice. We simply went to sleep in a hot room. That was all. For fuck sake, it was the same as seeing me naked now!'

'But we didn't see you naked. You got changed behind there.' Rose mutters, nodding her head to the cubicle. I feel myself start to lose grip on the ability to talk.

'Only because you were gawking at me.'

'And we're telling you that's exactly what he was doing to you all evening!'

This is the bit where I fuck up. I've gone nuts, I'm in a corner, there's no way out and then I open my fat mouth for the last squawk.

'Well he wasn't staring at me last night and he wouldn't stare at me even if I begged him to stare at me!'

Alice reels back a little. Eyeing me, carefully turning her head as if I'm a foreign creature.

'…why does that sound like a complaint?'

Fuck.

'It's not! There is nothing. We are nothing. It's just him being all virginal over there and me being all non-virginal over here!' I separate my hands to explain myself but not even Bella looks like she believes me.

'For fuck sake, if I have to prove it, I will!'

Alice's eyes double in size and she goes to stop me exiting rather rashly but it's too late. I bound out the area, not bothered if the girls are behind and spot Cullen's car. He's got the radio on and he's looking incredibly jittery but pleased when he sees me come over.

He drives out a little and pushes open the door, smiling cheerily.

'You wouldn't believe the hour I've just had. Jasper's been-'

'We're giving the girls a lift.' I announce quickly, tying myself in the front seat and trying not to burst with sudden fear or panic. I look wearily to him. He simply smiles, a frown playing in his expression but he's eager to keep it at bay.

Looking at him makes me immediately regret my spontaneous idiocy.

The girls quickly clamber into the back, Rose just behind me and Alice in the middle. They're awfully polite and greet him like you'd greet a teacher or maybe your friend's dad. He's distantly polite too.

'How was Yoga?' He turns his face briefly to me but when I shrink inside myself, looks in the rear-view mirror at the girls.

'Horrible.' Bella mutters.

'It wasn't that bad, Isabella. You were totally enjoying the second half, don't even lie.'

'Just because you've met my dad, Alice, does not give you right to call me that!'

They giggle and Carlisle continues to keep up conversation about whatever comes to mind. I'm in the corner, dissolving with my heart beating out my chest.

Just do it. I tell myself. Just do it the once, get them off your back and you can apologise later. He won't be hella mad. Maybe embarrassed. Maybe he'll be really really angry. Maybe he won't want anything to do with me? For fuck sake, why am I freaking out so much?! Calm down, Platt! Just do it.

'Thanks for offering your bed, Carlisle. Pretty lucky, we took Esme's instead. She was telling us it was really hot last night?'

If he was meant to be suspicious of her comment, he's done well to hide it. He nods politely and goes on to detail the problems with inviting a psycho round for a drink.

'Stifling in the end, Alice. We couldn't even open the window either. The glass was broken.'

We're just coming up to set of traffic lights which would be the perfect time-. Eurgh, why am I panicking! Just fucking do it, Esme! They're already setting their laser eyes into my back!

'Your bed must have been soaked right through, huh Carlisle?'

For a blip, just as he slows down to abide road laws, he frowns just slightly, turning his face towards them in confusion.

I've got to do it now, those lights are going to change any fucking second. Eurgh, why is Peer Pressure so dumb?!

'Couldn't be sure.' I start nervously, hearing the rush of blood in my ears. 'We slept soundlessly, huh Carlisle?'

The moment I speak his name, those dark blue eyes melt into mine almost persuading me against myself. Here goes. Moving across to lean over to him, I put my hand to the inside of his thigh, close, so close to where his junk is and then- I squeeze.

'Shit, Es.' He gasps noisily, grasping my hand and throwing it back to my side. 'I'm driving!'

I quickly pull my hand back, breathe calmly and take a weak look at his face. His cheeks are stained pink, his eyes wide and his chest rising. I can't bear to imagine what he's thinking. At the very least he's not amused. But while he's distracted enough, I turn behind to see Rose stifling a giggle between her hands. Alice is rolling her eyes, grinning widely.

'But yeah. Out like a light.' He adds in a mutter.

For the rest of the crowded car journey I don't say another word. He offers to drop them all off at their respected houses but Alice informs him that they're all chilling at hers. And we're welcome for a coffee.

I'm seconds away from pushing the Saint out of the driving seat and running her over myself. She sees me glare at her. Rightly so. I've made myself look like a first class twat for No Fucking Reason.

'Esme?' He asks.

'Groceries.' I murmur, shyly.

He shrugs and says his goodbyes to the girls before driving us to the nearest supermarket, cutting the engine and tapping the wheel with his keys. Uh-oh. I was hoping this whole scene could be avoided.

'For the life of me, if you're still drunk-'

'Perfectly sober.' I mutter guiltily, staring at my hands.

'Greeeat! For some dumb reason I was panicking there? Thank God you're sober!'

'I'm sorry?' I try.

He goes to glare at me but he can't hold it for very long before hitting his forehead to the steering wheel, laughing hysterically. It reminds me of a week ago when he was begging to have nothing to do with my vagina.

Nothing's changed.

'Go on then, surprise me.' He begins, trying hard to seem displeased. 'Why did you do it?'

'Urm, I just felt-'

'Don't bother covering it up. You've been silent since you got in the car.' He might be trying to sound harsh but his tone is coming off amused. He's also smiling.

Here goes.

'They thought that we'd…They were just-. I don't know. I'm sorry?'

'Esme, come on?'

'Fine! They accused me of sleeping with you and I panicked and promised to prove them wrong.'

He sighs and rubs his forehead, trying to hide his laugh.

'Right. How does that explain anything?'

I shrug, trying to worm my way out of it but he's not giving me the slightest chance. Dammit.

'You reaction explains it. You'd be different after sex. Less jumpy. And you wouldn't have told me off…'

'This is your theory?' He questions, doubtfully.

I nod dumbly.

'Right okay. I shouldn't have been so dismissive, I'm sorry. But you're basing this on a theory. Surely a good eight hours after sex, I'd be back to normal?'

I shake my head slightly. 'You would've been comfortable with me touching you.'

'You're guessing?'

'Well yes. But-.'

'Esme?'

'I'm really sorry, I knew I shouldn't done it. I feel really stupid.'

'What would you have done if I didn't jump?'

'Felt more stupid.' I mutter under my breath.

He sighs and leans back in his chair before turning to look at me. I'm hiding behind my wet hair, finding one loose wave incredibly fascinating and avoiding his entertained smile.

'That's not what I meant- I err.' He sighs again and looks down at his hands. 'I mean, what would you have said if…we had slept together?'

I'm slowly starting to work out that he refuses all intimate phrases to describe our potential next step and instead calls it stuff like 'slept'. I can't imagine what he'd look like describing sex with me. I don't think he'd ever describe it.

'Oh?' I realise. 'I don't know. Probably would've stormed out.'

'May I make a request?'

'Maybe?'

'If you don't feel comfortable saying anything- then don't. You don't have to explain yourself. They're your friends.'

'Carlisle?'

'I know, I'm sorry too. Just be glad I wasn't actually driving, I might have been pissed of then.'

Exhaling through my nose, I rub my eyes, and groan at myself. Could I be more of a twat?

'So.' He starts cheerily. 'Would you like to hear about my eventful hour?'

'Shoot.' I mutter, still feeling sorry for myself.

He laughs, adjusts his seat and stares at the roof of his car. These seats are ridiculously nice. So nice that I should be grateful just for sitting in them.

'So after buying a new lot of underwear -.'

'Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I didn't even think about-'

Holy mother of fuck, I could've groped my flatmate! I nearly felt up his dick in front of people! That would've been so bad! Oh Jesus, what the fuck was I thinking?!

To answer, he shows me the waistband of his boxers and smiles a little. It's such a small act. So minor and yet I want to cry. Jesus, he's so calm and collected and flirty and I nearly fucking fucked myself over. I hate myself so much.

He winks at me so that I turn away, blushing.

'Anyway,' he continues, grinning. 'After dropping you off, I went to the hardware store where I was bombarded by the opposing trio of your group who followed me on GPS and wouldn't give me any peace of mind.'

'Trio?' I repeat, worriedly. 'Even Edward?'

'Oh ho! Even Edward!'

After a few minutes of his testing laugh I realise he's in utter disbelief. I'm suddenly interested. This shouldn't make me smile but it does. Thank fuck it wasn't just me.

'Right? What did they want to know?'

'What did they want to know? Let me explain!' He informs me with a performative smile to burst his cheeks.

He's now so enthused by his own dramatic voice that I'm facing him properly and grinning widely.

'So from the hardware store they kidnapped- I repeat, kidnapped me, and promptly drove me to Emmett's. Thus leaving behind my car and the new window I'd intended to buy!'

Now I'm laughing but only because of how much outrageous energy he's pumping into his tale. He's so excited to tell me and I'm so captivated by his delivery.

'Kidnapped?!'

'Bound and gagged! It was the most embarrassing experience! Do you know how many people were in that store?! All those potential patients, staff from the hospital! Eurgh!'

'Wasn't the police called?' I ask, confused.

'Jasper told them it was a bachelor's party and they laughed it off!'

'Oh, no.'

'Oh yes!' He replies laughing, his face still pink but for a much friendlier reason. I gesture with my hands.

'Well go on then!'

'So we're at Emmett's- still gagged with God knows what- where they tied me to a chair and forced me to wach some educational video.'

'Uh-oh.'

I can so see where this is going.

'Correct! Bound and gagged and blindfolded- Did I mention that?'

I shake my head, beaming at him with my biggest smile. It's weird to think I was so nervous a moment ago, I couldn't be more relaxed now. I'm laughing so much my cheeks are hurting and Carlisle's frustration is so sweet and so familiar that to be living through his excitement is like being awarded the most prestigious award.

He's so beautiful when he laughs.

'For forty minutes, they tried to give me a lesson on sex education! They tried to tell the Doctor where I would find 'the fascinating organ most male species would refer to as; 'Jurrassic Pork''

I throw my head back, laughing, my chest squeezing as I pour more breath into my giggles.

'They demonstrated with stuffed toys! It was humiliating!'

'Oh Carlisle,' I murmur, sympathetically.

'I was given a quiz!'

'Did you get one hundred percent?'

He winks at me again, confident and still deeply amused. 'You bet I did.'

'What were the questions?'

He reaches into his jacket pocket and produces a square sheet of paper which he unfolds and passes to me. His handwriting is ridiculously neat but I scan over some of the questions and read others aloud.

''Circle three noises that girls make when their come?': 'Yes', 'Fuck' and 'intangible sounds'.'

He shakes his head in disbelief, scratching his chin.

'"Owie"? That's an option?'

'According to Emmett I would've got extra points if I circled that.'

'Why?' I ask cautiously.

'Anal sex.' He replies simply and I burst out laughing again before settling down and reading out another question.

''List three places according to the diagram that it's acceptable to spunk on. Vagina, breasts and face?''

The diagram is a crude drawing of a stick figure with a skirt and big round circles for tits.

He nods, slightly embarrassed but still pleased by my amusement. I'm tempted to warn him against the dangers if he dare come on my face but this might take away from our light hearted cheeriness.

'I'm genuinely amazed you actually took part.' I tell him, looking at his face. He's peering over my shoulder, reading his own answers despite the fact he should remember every question.

'They had a camera.'

'So?' I ask, confused

'I was bound and gagged and naked from the waist down- I wasn't going to argue with them.'

'You left out that part!' I complain, suddenly gasping for air as the images of his panic spread out peacefully in my mind.

'Sorry. There was just so much that went on-. I thought I was never going to make it to pick you up in time.'

'It's fine, Carlisle. If you'd phoned we would've made our own way home.'

'Oh! That reminds me, too!' He grabs his phone from his dashboard and passes it to me. 'Filth.'

'Oh Hon.' The background has been changed to a vivid photograph of a large group of girls dressed as nurses- having some kind of weird orgy. Bless him. 'You do know you can change the wallpaper, right?'

'Sure.' He mutters with a grin, nodding for me to go ahead. I type in his password but the phone buzzes. So I try it again. And again.

'Do you know what it is?'

'The password? Sure it's Virginslovepussy.orgy .Both pussy and orgy spelt wrong.'

I laugh even harder and genuinely have to stop in case I die. After six minutes, which has taken me to the point of pathetic giggling, I go to change his wallpaper. It's asking for a second code.

'What's the second one?'

'No idea but I've locked myself out nine times trying to guess.'

I look at him again. His face is so relaxed, his eyes sparkling playfully and his smile burning into me.

'You know you're beautiful when you laugh?' He says softly, biting at his lip with sharp teeth.

'Me?!' I repeat.

He raises an eyebrow and gestures to the empty car.

'I was going to say the same to you a moment ago. I wish I had now.' But all of a sudden the giggles have caught me again and I'm voicing the sound so proudly that I'm struggling to look normal.

'How's your hangover?' he asks, raspily passing his sweet breath from him t me with just a curl of his wet tongue.

Urgh.

'Nonexistent,' I lie, letting myself move closer to him.

'Esme?' He says softly and I jump because I didn't actually realise just how close he was. So close. I can taste his words, smell our washing powder and that cologne. I wait patiently with my mouth open, breathing in to the rhythm that he breathes-

He bottles it.

'Er? Let's go get the shopping?'

I shouldn't have expected it. That was my fault.

'Okay.' My mouth replies.

For once, I'm in no bitter mood about shopping with him. Like I said earlier. I'm going to take all the time I can get.

'So, what was your reward for all this stress? Did they draw you out a certificate?'

Carlisle smiles so that the laughter reaches his gorgeous eyes.

'Oh no,' and reaching back into his pocket he pulls out a square little foil between two fingers.

We laugh so hard and so fully that we don't leave the car for another twenty minutes. But it's only on leaving the car, it's at that awful moment when I'm incoherently babbling about useless information into his patient ears that he grabs me by the arm, pulls me gently to him and captures my lips between his.