The Vagrant
By Pyreite
Sequel to: The Trickster Returns
Chapter 3 – Asha'belannar's Web
Warning: This chapter contains angst, fluff, a journey home, unexpected guests, a world-shaking revelation, and conversations in elvish. Discretion is advised.
The shadows were long when Abelas bore Ellana home on Hanal'ghilan's back. The crescent moon was visible on the horizon. The sky awash with streaks of violet in a darkening sky. The stars were kindling like the embers of a dying fire. Night was fast approaching.
Ellana hadn't said a single word in hours.
Abelas was worried.
Hanal'ghilan shifted beneath them. Her sure-footed hooves found purchase amidst rocks, slippery leaf-litter, and uneven ground. She navigated their way over trails that no elf could see. The forest was a dangerous place after sunset. Wolves hunted by moonlight.
Abelas trusted the Halla. The doe was strong-willed but cautious. She knew what territory to avoid and what paths were safest to travel. Elves were keen-eyed, but they were blind in darkness. Abelas hoped they would return to Ellana's hut before the moon reached its zenith.
"Ir enfanim".
Abelas was relieved to hear her speak. Ellana's voice was drier than sun-parched sand. She hadn't drunk anything since morning. Abelas undid the leather loop knotted to his belt. The waterskin came free with a firm tug.
Abelas handed the skin to Ellana. He was glad when she accepted it. Their fingers brushed. Abelas felt her tremble at the brief contact. He gently grasped her hand.
"Ma serannas", said Ellana. She responded with a half-hearted smile. Her grip was lax when Abelas let go. She had not returned his affection. Ellana was still unsure of her own feelings.
The day had been trying for both of them.
Abelas waited whilst Ellana uncorked the waterskin. She lifted it to her mouth, lips sealing tight around the spout. She drank thirstily. The skin was half-empty when Ellana finished with a satisfied sigh. She resealed the skin and handed it back.
Abelas retied the waterskin to his belt. He slid an arm around Ellana when Hanal'ghilan brought them to the foot of a steep hillside. Abelas looked up the slope. He saw the silhouettes of
overgrown shrubs, misshapen boulders, and gnarled tree-trunks. He held on tight when Hanal'ghilan began her ascent.
The doe climbed with the confidence of a seasoned path-finder.
The going was disquieting for her riders.
Abelas tried to comfort Ellana. His efforts were unwelcome. Ellana was tense as a drawn bowstring. She twitched nervously when Hanal'ghilan's swaying gait pressed her hard against him. The knowledge that Abelas wanted to be more than her bedmate was still unnerving.
Ellana's heart was bruised and battered. Solas had destroyed everything she'd held dear. The Dread Wolf was a liar and a trickster. Ellana had learned not to trust the passion bubbling beneath her skin. Abelas was not Solas, but he wanted the same thing.
Ellana was right to be wary.
Solas's love was like a blade. The first cut had been the deepest when he'd revealed himself as Fen'Harel. The second had cleaved her heart in two when he'd torn the Veil. The third had ripped the bloody pieces from her chest. A dragon had rained fire on her home.
Skyhold had burned for days.
Ellana didn't want to repeat history.
She'd had her fill of betrayal.
Hanal'ghilan crested the hill's rounded top. The doe's slender legs parted stalks of slick grass. She would have paused to graze if Abelas hadn't kneed her in the ribs. Dusk was descending. The forest was unsafe at night for elves without a camp-fire.
Ellana was eager to move on.
"Ghilan vhenas ma falon", she urged Hanal'ghilan. She frowned when the doe ignored her command. Hanal'ghilan paused in a patch of succulent brush. Ellana felt those muscular shoulders roll as that mighty horned head dipped low. She heard the crisp snap and crunch that always accompanied a browsing Halla.
Abelas sighed.
Hanal'ghilan was just as headstrong as Ellana. The Halla cleared her velvet nostrils with an airy snort before lowering her head. The leisurely chewing of a second mouthful annoyed Ellana. The doe refused to take another step. The casual turning of a golden ear towards her riders signalled her desire.
"I believe she wants an apology", advised Abelas.
Ellana's lip curled. The doe's timely intervention had saved Solas. Ellana looked down her nose at the Halla. She sniffed haughtily. She was unimpressed by Hanal'ghilan's mulishness.
"Tel'abelas", said Ellana.
Abelas despised being stuck in the middle. He was caught between two stubborn women. Ellana was tired and dirty with twigs in her hair and grime on her clothes. She needed a bath and a good night's rest. She would get neither the longer Hanal'ghilan waited.
Abelas wanted to get his beloved home.
"Ellana!" he reproved.
A firm prod in the ribs did the trick.
"Venavis!" she squealed.
A retaliatory smack on Abelas's knuckles made him laugh.
Ellana panicked when she was embraced. She was drawn tight to Abelas's chest. She was squeezed affectionately as if she were a favoured stuffed-toy. The contented nuzzling into the nape of her neck was the final straw. Ellana stiffened.
"Nae!"
Abelas exhaled shakily. His grip relaxed. He had forgotten himself in that moment. He grimaced. Ellana wasn't ready. Abelas took several deep and calming breaths to regain his composure.
He steeled his nerve with an earnest apology.
"Ir abelas ma da'assan".
Ellana's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. She tried to bear the guilt, but she could not ignore what she knew to be true. The hot sting of her tears was a sobering reminder of her folly. She was not alone. Abelas had been with her since the fall of Skyhold.
Five hundred years she'd known him.
For four centuries they'd been friends.
For three they'd been lovers.
Abelas was nothing like Solas.
He could be trusted.
Ellana brushed her fingertips over a fair elven cheek. She heard the startled gasp. She felt him tremble. Ellana closed her eyes. She pressed her face into Abelas's throat.
She inhaled deeply, taking comfort in his presence.
"Ma da'mi", whispered Ellana. "Lasa ma melana".
Abelas pondered the nature of their relationship. He understood Ellana's anxiety, though her reluctance to take that next step still stung. He could not help the way he felt. Love should have been a simple thing. For Ellana it was complicated.
Moments passed in an uneasy silence.
"Dirthera ar ma enfanim", encouraged Abelas. He rued his hastiness until Ellana replied. He smelt the salt on her breath. The tears had dried, but the sadness remained. Ellana would never forget those she'd loved and lost.
The pain ran deeper than Abelas could see.
"Tel'din'an", admitted Ellana. The way her shoulders sagged revealed her regret. The luxury of time eternal was not a comfort. Ellana saw it as a road of unending suffering. She couldn't understand how Abelas could bear the weight of the ages.
"Ar bellanaris", said Ellana. She bowed her head ashamedly. "Ir souveri". Ellana voiced her desire even though she knew Abelas would object. He loved her.
"Ar nuvenin uthenera".
Abelas disagreed. "Nae!"
Ellana shook her head. Abelas did not understand. "Ar tel'suledin bellanaris", she told him. She could count only five centuries in age. Solas and Abelas, together, were her elders by several millennia.
"Shem vunin'en ar", intoned Ellana.
Abelas's voice was soft and sad as he finished the ancient adage.
"Felas uthannar'en ma".
Ellana stilled when a calloused hand cupped her cheek. Long fingers slid beneath her chin. She did not resist when Abelas exerted gentle pressure. Her head tilted back and her mouth rose. The fear abated when she was kissed.
Abelas was neither jealous nor possessive. He understood and accepted her past with Solas.
Abelas did impress upon her how patient he was. His tenderness made Ellana cry. His touch was light. His lips feather-soft against her own.
Abelas was not demanding, but he commanded the entirety of her attention.
The kiss ended with a promise.
"Tel'enfanim ma da'assan. Irassal ma ghilas. Ara ghilas".
Ellana sobbed. The tears trickled down her cheeks. It was more than a kindness. It was a pledge of support regardless of the decision she made. Abelas, thought Ellana, was more empathetic than she deserved.
"Nae", she protested weakly.
Abelas smiled. "Tel'numin, Ellana", he soothed. He wiped her cheeks, erasing the tears she wept like rain. "Ara suledin", vowed Abelas. "Ma vhenan suledin".
Ellana's brows furrowed. She wasn't sure to what or who Abelas was referring. His statement was annoyingly cryptic. The ancient elves loved riddles. Ellana's unhappy pout made Abelas chuckle.
"Atisha ma da'assan".
Ellana rolled her eyes.
"Atisha!" laughed Abelas.
Ellana sighed wearily. She leaned against him, the crown of her head tucking beneath his chin. She could forgive him this once. Abelas had always been tolerant of her eccentricities. Ellana decided that compromise wasn't a terrible thing.
"Ma solas suledin", teased Ellana. "Ir abelas ma da'mi".
Hanal'ghilan resumed their trek through the forest. The sudden movement jolted Ellana. She was almost unseated. Her startled gasp and hasty grab for Abelas amused him. He wheezed when Ellana vengefully jabbed him in the ribs.
"Fenedhis!" cursed Ellana. "Hanal'ghilan!"
The doe snorted airily. She ignored Ellana's outburst. She proceeded to guide them home. The second half of their journey was easier than the first. Ellana was noticeably calmer to Abelas the closer they came to reaching their destination.
She was still tired, but no longer wept.
The forest gave way to a crude dirt road. The trees were sparser in the meadow that surrounded Ellana's home. The hut came into view. Made of ironbark, river-rock, and mortar it was sturdier than the aravels the dalish had used to travel overland. Abelas had helped Ellana build it with his own two hands.
The hut was a welcome sight. The banked fire, burning inside a circle of stone was not. Abelas frowned when he saw a wooden spit being turned over the flames. The headless and hoofless carcass was golden brown. The scent of roasting meat delectable.
Abelas's appetite soured when he spied their unexpected visitors.
Ellana wasn't pleased either.
Two elves awaited their return.
The first was taller than the second. His hair was white like snow. His eyes were green flecked with gold. He was garbed in flowing robes dyed in shades of green and brown. The favoured colours of the Dalish.
His companion was slender like a river-reed. Her hair was the red of fresh blood. Her eyes were dark like fertile soil. She wore the decorative robes befitting a woman of her station. The fabric was dyed in neutral shades of grey and blue. The neckline, cuffs, and hem were adorned with a ruff of white fur.
Ellana saw the influence of the Circle of Magi. She should have been overjoyed to see her again. She was not. The woman's fair elven face was expressionless. She didn't smile when she saw an old friend, nor was there a spark of recognition when Ellana called her name.
"Aneth ara, Minaeve".
"Aneth ara, Ellana", Minaeve replied serenely.
The lack of inflection in her voice to signify emotion perturbed Ellana. The way Minaeve looked through her as if she were made of glass was unsettling. This woman was a pale imitation of the shy elven apprentice Ellana had known. She looked and sounded like Minaeve, but she was not the same. The brand of the rising sun had burned away everything that made her unique.
Ellana blamed herself for Minaeve's fate. Five centuries ago the Knight Commander of the Templar Order had taken charge of the Inquisition. The judgement of Ser Delrin Barris had condemned thousands to suffer the Rite of Tranquility. Hundreds more were accused of practising blood-magic. The screams of the dying set to the torch still haunted Ellana.
The moment was awkward.
Ellana did not speak again. Her gaze was fixed upon Minaeve's branded forehead. The stamp of the rising sun proclaimed her tranquil. Ellana's silence grated on the patience of their other guest. The former Keeper of a disbanded dalish clan.
"Andaran atish'an", greeted Abelas. He felt the tension in Ellana. The rigidity of her spine and the hard line of her shoulders belied her calm expression. She wasn't usually so rude, but Hawen's unexpected arrival had thrown her off-balance. Her unabashed staring at Minaeve proved how uneasy she was.
"Aneth ara", said Hawen. "We have waited for you since mid-afternoon".
Abelas would have made small-talk, but Ellana was his primary concern. She was physically and emotionally exhausted. She needed a bath, a decent meal, and a good night's rest. Abelas tolerated Hawen's indiscretion, but not his sense of entitlement. They were not servants at his beck and call.
"You can wait another hour", declared Abelas. "Ellana will bathe and eat before we indulge you".
He ignored Hawen's disgruntled scowl. The former Keeper was now a member of New Arlathan's College of Alchemy. Hawen was used to deference and respect from his pupils. He did not appreciate Abelas's lack of reverence, though he was wise not to voice his opinion.
The Halla were protective of the elves that tended them.
Hanal'ghilan was especially protective of those she considered her own.
The doe sensed Hawen's annoyance. A brown eye rolled balefully. She trotted forward whilst carrying her riders. Her slender neck bent and her golden head dropped low. Hawen stiffened when Hanal'ghilan blew a blast of hot air in his face. Velvet lips peeled back from flat herbivorous teeth.
"Fenedis!" swore Hawen.
The tip of his elven ear throbbed. The skin smarting an angry red where Hanal'ghilan had nipped him. The doe's brand of Halla discipline made Ellana laugh. Hanal'ghilan snorted in amusement. Hawen fumed like a sullen child.
Abelas was glad to hear Ellana giggle. The sound was more pleasant than soul-searing sobs. He gave Hawen a reproving look when the alchemist's lip curled. The man's haughtiness was trying. Abelas disliked him.
Hawen's presence at Ellana's home, however, meant that something had occurred in recent hours.
Abelas wondered what would draw one of the College of Alchemy's senior researchers away from his ivory tower. This was not an ordinary social outing. Something had brought Hawen out of New Arlanthan. Abelas doubted he would have left the city willingly if not for Minaeve. She was tranquil, a shadow of a person, without emotion but not motivation.
"Ma serannas ma falon", tittered Ellana. She smiled lovingly when Hanal'ghilan turned her great horned head. The doe's velvet nose nuzzled her cheek. Ellana embraced that thick golden neck. She gladly returned the Halla's affection.
Abelas was pleased and saddened by the display.
He hoped, one day, that Ellana would look as fondly upon him too.
Abelas swung a leg over Hanal'ghilan's broad back. He dismounted gracefully, bare toes touching the earth before his heels pressed downward. He centred himself with practised ease. "Garas, Ellana", he urged, more for his own peace of mind than hers. Abelas was aware of the eyes scrutinising their every move.
Ellana patted Hanal'ghilan's velvet nose. She smiled warmly at the Halla. They shared a moment of understanding. The exchange of a brief nod between elf and animal ended their silent communion. Ellana released Hanal'ghilan's neck before turning her attention to Abelas.
His arms were outstretched. His hands ready and waiting to receive her. Ellana could dismount by herself. She had done so innumerable times before without Abelas's help. The irritable line between his brows convinced Ellana to cooperate.
Abelas wasn't just being courteous. He was being vigilant and attentive. Two facets of their relationship that always went hand in hand. Abelas did not like other elves looking askance at Ellana. Hawen's arrival with Minaeve did not bode well for his beloved.
Something was surely very wrong in New Arlathan.
Had Solas sent them in his stead?
Ellana swung a leg over Hanal'ghilan's back. She was seated side-saddle when she reached for Abelas. The doe flicked a pale ear when her rider slid down. Abelas caught Ellana around the waist. His hands were strong and steady as he lowered her to the ground.
"Ma serannas", said Ellana.
Abelas was surprised to see her blush. Few things embarrassed Ellana. Perhaps their audience had made her nervous. Abelas would have escorted her away from their prying eyes if Hawen had been more patient. The rough clearing of his throat made Ellana tense like a startled fawn.
The way she rolled her eyes revealed her exasperation.
Abelas knew that look.
"Nae, Ellana".
His beloved was a heartbeat away from pinning Hawen's ear to a tree.
"Be civil", advised Abelas. "We have guests".
Ellana smiled thinly. Her hands rested against his chest. She patted his armoured collar. The gilded leather was soft and smooth beneath her fingertips. She took a deep fortifying breath.
Her question was brash and blunt.
"Why in the seven hells are you on my doorstep, Hawen?"
Abelas's disapproving expression did not cow Ellana.
She was an adult not a recalcitrant child.
"What?" she hissed. "I'm dirty, hungry, tired, and I smell like nug-shit". Ellana's nose wrinkled in disgust. "I am not in the mood to be entertaining an arsehole who would rather bow in servitude than uphold his Dalish beliefs". She heard the sharp intake of Hawen's breath, though she did not acknowledge his presence.
His cowardice had cost too many Dalish lives.
Ellana thought him a fool not a venerated elder.
"Fenedhis lasa", cursed Abelas. He waited for an argument to ensue. He was relieved when a cooler head prevailed. Minaeve interceded before Hawen could antagonise Ellana. Abelas saw her lay a gentle remonstrative hand on her companion's shoulder.
"Venavis", she reproved. "We are not here to fight".
Ellana regarded Minaeve. "Then why are you here?" she challenged. Her eyes were narrowed in suspicion. She was weary, but not dispirited. Solas had made her miserable, but he had not extinguished the fire that burned beneath her skin.
"Have you come to lecture me for not respecting your precious Fen'Harel?"
Minaeve's face was blank. Her eyes empty. Her mouth a lax line of solemnity in her fair elven face. Her voice was flat and dry as she explained. She had come with good reason.
"No", said Minaeve. She shared a brief companionable look with Hawen. His grave nod granted her permission. Minaeve addressed Ellana. Her next words alarmed the dalish elf.
"We were sent".
"By whom?" asked Abelas.
Hawen sighed. "By the witch imprisoned in the bowels of the College of Alchemy".
Minaeve was apathetic when Ellana gasped.
"What witch?"
"You knew her once", stated Minaeve. "As the daughter of Asha'belannar".
Ellana exhaled shakily. She stared at Hawen and Minaeve. It could not be true. "That's impossible", she told them. "Morrigan disappeared after Corypheus was defeated".
Hawen nodded. He looked Ellana in the eye. "She did retreat", he affirmed. "But she did not abandon you. Morrigan watched from afar for many years, under the strict instruction of Asha'belannar. She was tasked with keeping you safe".
"She failed", growled Abelas. His golden eyes glinted in the firelight. His silver brows were furrowed. He was unimpressed by Hawen's revelation. "My beloved has suffered immeasurably".
Hawen glanced between Ellana and her lover. She neither confirmed nor denied his claim. The alchemist smirked. He was cocky when he answered. The amused twinkle in his eye infuriated Ellana.
"You haven't told her the truth", chuckled Hawen. "Not in five hundred years".
"Hold your tongue!" admonished Abelas.
Hawen laughed when Ellana frowned.
"Abelas" she asked earnestly. "What is he talking about?"
Abelas's face was soft and sad. "Ellana", he implored. "It is unimportant".
Ellana's eyes widened. She gaped at Abelas. Not once, in five centuries, had he ever lied to her. He was always frank and honest. The thought that he would withhold something from her hurt worse than a knife-wound.
"Tell me!" demanded Ellana.
"She has a right to know", seconded Minaeve. "She is entangled in Asha'belannar's web as surely as you are".
Abelas sighed. He did not avert his eyes. He met Ellana's gaze. He was too proud to look away, though he had the humility Solas lacked. Abelas's voice was gentle.
His explanation simple.
"When Fen'Harel tore the Veil, Morrigan feared you would perish. It was at her behest that I find you, Ellana. She charged me with your protection. I did as I was bid to do. I went to Tarasyl'an Te'las and found you in its ashes".
Ellana was quiet for several moments. She looked away from Abelas, her heart heavy. So that was why he had come to Skyhold. She did not know if she was ready to accept his explanation. She set it aside in favour of interrogating Hawen.
"You didn't answer my question", she said sharply. "Why are you here?"
Hawen's tone was grim. "Morrigan needs your help".
"For what?"
Minaeve's voice was clear and calm. "To end her suffering".
"She wants to die", declared Hawen. "Shemlen were never meant to live an elven lifetime".
Elvish Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language.
Ir enfanim – I am afraid.
Ma serannas – My thanks.
Ghilan vhenas ma falon – Guide us home, my friend.
Tel'abelas – I am not sorry.
Venavis – Stop.
Ir abelas ma da'assan – I am sorry, my little arrow.
Ma da'mi – My little blade.
Lasa ma melana – Give me time.
Dirthera ar ma enfanim – Tell me your fears.
Tel'din'an – Not being able to die. i.e. being immortal.
Ar bellanaris – I have eternity.
Ir souveri – I am so tired.
Ar nuvenin uthenera – I want to dream forever. i.e. to enter Uthenera the 'Eternal waking dream'.
Nae – No.
Ar tel'suledin bellanaris – I do not have the strength to endure eternity.
Shem vunin'en ar. Felas uthannar'en ma - The swift days for me. The slow years of eternity for you. - An ancient elven proverb.
Tel'enfanim ma da'assan. Irassal ma ghilas. Ara ghilas – Never fear, my little arrow. Where ever you go. I will follow.
Tel'numin – Don't cry.
Ara suledin – I will endure.
Ma vhenan suledin – My heart will endure.
Atisha ma da'assan – Peace, my little arrow.
Ma solas suledin – My pride will endure.
Ir abelas ma da'mi – I am sorry, my little blade.
Fenedhis – An elven curse, likely translated to 'wolf crap' or similar.
Aneth ara – My safe place – A Dalish greeting.
Andaran atish'an – I dwell in this place of peace. A formal elven greeting.
Ma serannas ma falon – My thanks my friend.
Garas, Ellana – Come, Ellana.
Fenedhis lasa – An elven curse, likely translated into 'grant or give me wolf crap' or similar.
Asha'belannar – The Woman of Many Years – The Dalish name for Flemeth.
Tarasyl'an Te'las – The Place Where the Sky is Kept – The elven name for Skyhold.
Shemlen – Quick children – The elven name for humans.