The Vagrant
By Pyreite
Sequel to: The Trickster Returns
Chapter 9 – Epilogue – The Sun's Shadow
Ellana looked to the horizon. The sun had risen high in the sky, the clouds were white boats on a sea of blue. If she tarried any longer it would soon be midday. A glance around their camp revealed that Abelas and the sentinel elves were ready to leave. Ellana knew they had already lingered too long.
The Halla were restless. The herd needed to move on.
It was reassuring to see that the sentinel elves had taken down their tents down. Their bedrolls and blankets had been packed away too. Their appreciation of her Dalish crafts had pleased Ellana. She smiled when she saw the bedroll and pelt she'd gifted to one sentinel tied across the shoulders of his mount. He'd had to make do, like all his brethren, with neither saddle nor bridle.
Unlike them he was accustomed to the lack of proper elvhen tack. He made use of a soft handwoven blanket thrown across his mount's back. It was green and brown with a yellow trim, a fine example of Dalish weaving. Ellana was glad he hadn't protested the idea. The rest of their band couldn't travel on foot.
They needed mounts and she had a herd to muster. The does were due to calve in a few weeks and there was plenty of grazing around the Temple of Mythal. Fewer wolves would guarantee more fawns survived the spring. Halla hadn't been seen in the Arbor Wilds for centuries. It would be a welcome change.
"Ellana".
She turned at the sound of her name. She knew who spoke though she was reluctant to address him. They hadn't talked since the incident with Solas. Ellana saw one last tent standing in the meadow. Solas was still inside, recuperating.
And she didn't care a wit.
"Ellana. Please. Don't leave him like this".
She sighed, brows furrowing. Cole had never been good with farewells. Ellana knew he would have gone with her if not for Solas. Cole was being pulled between them like a piece of rope in a tug of war. To follow her was to leave Solas alone.
And to stay with Solas was to lose contact with her.
Poor Cole was torn between love and loyalty.
"You can't ask me to stay", said Ellana. "Not after everything he's done".
"He loves you".
"I know".
"Then why won't you stay with him?" pleaded Cole. "Solas needs you".
"He didn't need me when he tore the Veil. Why is now so different?"
"Ellana".
"No, Cole. Don't ask me again".
Cole wrung his hands. "Do you really have to go away with them?" He nodded to Abelas and the sentinel elves. They were waiting for her. Cole was miserable when Abelas vaulted atop the back of his mount.
The stag bugled.
It was time.
Ellana patted the golden flank of her own mount. Hanal'ghilan responded in kind, head lifting high. She roused the does and immature bucks. A soft cry got the herd moving. And soon the meadow was teeming with impatient snorting Halla. Cloven hooves stamped the earth as the herd waited for Ellana to start the migration.
"You know I must", she told Cole. "I have to leave my valley like I do every spring. The herd needs new pasture. The does will be calving soon. And the bucks need to roam the Arbor Wilds to learn the lay of the land".
"Make me a promise", begged Cole. "Tell me you'll return by next spring".
Ellana's smile was soft and sad. She gripped the ruff of Hanal'ghilan's neck, knees bending. She leapt atop the doe's back with the confidence of a seasoned rider. Ellana lifted the fingers of her clawed left hand to her brow. She nodded to Cole, scaled fingers tapping her forehead in a fond farewell. She turned away, head shaking.
"I swear no vows, ma falon. I have more than myself to take care of now".
Cole frowned. "Because of the one whose eyes glow like the setting sun".
Ellana knew whom he meant. "Yes. Because of her and more. Many things have changed. Nothing is the same as it was before".
"I'll miss you".
"And I will miss you".
Cole pouted. He tried again to wheedle an agreement out of her. "Solas will miss you too".
"But I will not miss him".
"Ellana".
"My decision is made. Accept it, ma falon. I am leaving today. Now. Wish me a safe journey".
Cole complied with a sad nod. "Dareth shiral".
Ellana squeezed Hanal'ghilan's golden flanks. The doe picked up her pace, trotting away. She was quick to take her place at the front of the herd. Ellana was a passenger as the doe wove her way through the throngs of Halla. Hanal'ghilan paused on occasion nosing a doe, or nipping the ear of a nervous buck.
It took time for her to make certain the herd was ready.
Ellana waited until her mount reached the big broad-shouldered stag. She nodded to Abelas when Hanal'ghilan shared a brief affectionate nuzzle with her mate. Her lover smiled. He was glad to be on their way too. It was passed time the herd migrated.
They'd been forced to delay a week thanks to Solas.
"Are you ready?" asked Abelas.
Ellana took a fortifying breath. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Cole standing on his own in the meadow. The spirit raised his hand in farewell. She waved him goodbye. She gave that single lonely tent one last look.
She didn't regret leaving Solas behind.
Some things had changed, whilst others remained the same. The herd and the sentinel elves were her concern now. And like Mythal she was ready to take charge of them. Solas would be on his own for another year. After five centuries – Ellana doubted it would matter.
"Yes. Let's go".
Ellana turned her face towards the sun. She patted the crest of Hanal'ghilan's neck.
"Find our path, ma falon".
The doe snorted, head tipping forward. Sunlight gleamed off the interlocking spirals of her antlers. Ellana waited whilst she snorted and pawed at the earth. Moments passed until she was certain. Hanal'ghilan took that first bold step into the forest.
And a heartbeat later the entire herd followed.
"Fenedhis!" cursed one sentinel. "I was almost unseated!"
"Arryn!" bellowed Abelas. "Hold onto your buck with both hands!"
"Where? I do not have a bridle!"
"The fur along the ruff of his neck! Valoya! Show him how before he falls off! The herd will not stop for hours! We have miles to go before we make camp again!"
Ellana was amused by her lover's annoyance. He was already arguing with the youngest member of his order. Their journey would be entertaining this year. They had more company than usual. Ellana laughed when Abelas muttered several elvish epithets.
He was scowling whilst his stag stayed close to Hanal'ghilan. The doe led. The stag followed. And the rest of the herd moved with them. The going was noisier than usual.
Ellana heard Valoya instructing Arryn.
"Not like that, ma falon. You pull too tight".
"Is that why he almost threw me?"
Valoya's tone was dry. "If a fool of an elf was trying to rip out your fur by the roots. I say. You would be trying to throw him off your back too. Go gentle now or you will end up on your arse in the dirt".
Ellana snickered when Arryn sulked.
"I have never ridden a Halla before".
"It shows", said Valoya.
"Stop being so cruel", complained Arryn. "And so honest. I am trying to learn. Be nice".
"Hush. And stop trying to rip out your buck's fur. Look he's showing his teeth. Do it again. And he might just bite you".
"I do not want to be bitten".
"Then be gentler", cautioned Valoya. "There now. That's better".
Ellana glowed with pride. Her smile made Abelas glower. He was unimpressed by her lack of sympathy. She had grown up around Halla. Riding one was second nature.
"What?"
"You know my brethren have little experience with Halla".
Ellana giggled. "Valoya's doing fine".
Abelas' lip curled. "Her father bred horses before she came to the Temple of Mythal".
"So that's why she's so comfortable around them".
And around it went, as it did every spring. They chatted to pass the time. They would spend weeks together during the Halla migration. Although this year they would have more company than usual. Ellana heard Valoya and Arryn talking quietly.
Valoya praised him. "You are doing well".
Arryn wasn't so sure. "Am I?"
"For a novice. Although perhaps you could use some advice".
"It would be appreciated. All of this is new to me".
Ellana smiled as the sentinel bond thrummed with their camaraderie. The friendship between them was warm like sunlight and deep like the anchoring roots of a tree. It was full of respect – she knew – for Valoya had known Arryn for centuries. Ellana wondered if she could befriend the sentinel elves too. Only time would tell if her relationships with them would prove as amicable.
Ellana was jostled from her thoughts when Abelas called her name. She braced herself when he broached that sensitive subject. She sensed his fear and yearning through the sentinel bond. He wanted to earn her trust again. The past few days had been difficult for both of them.
"Yes?"
"Will you sleep beside me tonight?"
"I don't think that's appropriate".
"Why?"
She felt the sting of his disappointment. It pricked at her like a needle. Abelas wanted more than she was ready to give. Too many things had changed. And now a third person lay between them.
"You know why".
Abelas exhaled a weary sigh. "I apologised for what I did".
"I know".
"Was it not enough? Are you still angry with me?"
"No and Yes", replied Ellana. "You want the same thing Solas wants from me. And that knowledge hurts worse than an arrow-wound. I loved him and he destroyed my life. If I love you than the same thing might happen again".
Abelas scowled. "I am not Fen'harel!"
"No", she agreed. "You're not".
"We have been together for three hundred years! Does that mean nothing to you?"
She smiled. "It means everything and more".
"Then why have you not forgiven me?"
Ellana raised her left hand high. The silver-white scales glinted in the sun like pearls. The tips of her claws were hard black points of obsidian. She flexed her fingers and pointed to her peeved lover. Abelas fell silent when he saw the arm, hand, and wrist Mythal had returned to her.
A gift and a brand of responsibility.
"Mythal forgives. I do not. You are her acolyte first and my lover second. She accepts your love as another facet of your devotion. For her it makes sense to accept your affections".
Abelas frowned. "But not you?"
"Not yet", explained Ellana. "Give me time, ma vhenan. I am like a newborn butterfly testing her wings. The caterpillar is changed, the chrysalis torn open. I have yet to catch the wind and see if I can fly".
He gasped. "Am I your heart?"
She smiled. "You've a place in it".
Abelas blushed to the tips of his ears. "I do not know what to say".
Ellana laughed. "You will find the words in time. I know it".
Cole returned to Solas with a heavy heart. He pushed the canvas flap wide and stepped inside the tent. His friend was where he'd left him, lying inside Ellana's sleeping furs. Solas looked at him – suddenly hopeful. Cole shook his head.
"And so she has left me again", lamented Solas. "As I knew she would".
"I asked her to stay".
"I know, ma falon. But she refused as she always does".
A tense silence passed between them for several moments. Cole thought on all that had happened in the past few weeks. Ellana's ascension, Solas' manipulations, the waking of the sentinel elves from Uthenera. And all because of a certain Witch of the Wilds – Mythal had returned. It was as wonderful as it was terrible.
"Solas. You're not dealing with just Ellana".
"I know".
"She's become something more than herself. She has the sentinel elves now too".
"She is Mythal. And she bears Mythal's responsibilities".
Cole frowned. He saw the weariness in the dark circles under Solas' eyes and the pallor of his skin. He was ashen-faced from illness, despite the comforts Ellana had provided. He was weak too, often shaking with fatigue doing the simplest tasks. Cole didn't mind looking after him, but he wished Ellana were here instead.
It would've meant so much more to his broken-hearted friend.
"Do you?" asked Cole. "I'm not one of your courtiers. I won't judge you. You can tell me the truth. We're friends".
Solas smiled though the light never reached his eyes. "Are we?"
"Of course we are!"
He laughed, though the sound was bitter. "Are you sure you are not taking pity on me?"
"Don't push me away", said Cole. "I'm all you have".
Solas bowed his head, dark hair falling across his face. "I know, ma falon".
"Oh, Solas. Don't you see? Flemeth knew what you'd done with Morrigan and she knew what you would do to keep her alive. She planned it all from the beginning. She always intended to use Ellana and you made it easier to do that".
Solas' eyes closed in guilt. "I know".
Cole persisted. "Do you love her?"
Solas' mouth turned down unhappily. His eyes opened and his heart bled with every word he spoke.
"Ellana or Mythal?"
"Ellana".
"You know I do".
"Then why do you keep manipulating her?"
Solas' confidence cracked and for the second time in days. Cole saw him cry. The tears came thick and fast, though he never made a sound. He wept in silence as if he were afraid the world would hear his weakness. Darkness had too often been Solas' preferred hiding place.
Ellana had dragged him into the light.
Now he was burning.
Cole sighed. "You were right. I can't help you, Solas. You're broken in ways I can't mend. Only Ellana can help you now".
Solas cried harder, shoulders shaking.
Cole took a seat on the abandoned stool beside his bedroll. He sensed flickers of emotion leak through the armoured ring around Solas' heart. Cole felt fear, anxiety, self-loathing, and a despair so deep it almost drowned him again. He pulled back, breathing hard, chest heaving.
"I'm sorry!" he babbled. "I didn't mean too".
Solas' voice was rough. "It's all right, ma falon".
"It's not! You're hurting! And I can't help you!"
"I know. And so does Mythal. What you have said is true. Although I did not foresee Mythal stealing my vhenan. Ellana is in more danger now than she was before".
"What?" gasped Cole. "Why?"
"I have wanted her with me all these years for one reason", admitted Solas. "A shadow stalks her every step. Now more than ever because of her merging with Mythal. He will not be satisfied until they are reunited. I do not know if Ellana has the will to resist him".
"Who? Tell me his name!"
Solas exhaled a weary breath. "The Sun".
Cole paled. "No, Solas. You can't mean him. He's dead".
"He is, but even in light there is darkness. Ellana will never see him coming until it is too late. She is Mythal. And Mythal was his wife. Elgar'nan hated me, but he loved her with all the fire that was in him".