Thank you for your lovely reviews! I appreciate it so much! Things are progressing ;) Very speedily. Here's another chapter for you all.

'Guys?'

I push Carlisle towards the door and turn to the cooker, making my hands look busy.

'In here, Edward.' He announces, heading through the doorway to greet them both. 'You're looking lovely Bella.'

Not that I'm jealous or anything but I would prefer if he made this comment when I was there to see the sincerity in his face. How lovely? Too lovely? Is this just a comment on if she's looking casual or not or is he attracted - what the fuck am I saying? He literally came on me, yesterday.

The thought produces a very proud and very smug smirk.

'Thank you, Carlisle. How was work?'

Edward passes them to stand close to me, almost looking shy with his crazy hair… not so crazy? Jesus, is he wearing slacks and a shirt? An actual shirt?! But the same comment is apparently running through his head because he takes one look at me, turns back to Carlisle and smirks.

'I'm relieved you're finally dressed.' He says shrugging a shoulder in a way that could be read as a joke on the student stereotypes. Unfortunately it's very obviously a comment to last night. Carlisle flickers his eyes to the Kid, trying to disguise the look. 'You've out done yourself.' He praises, inhaling the rich smell of my cooking and smiling crookedly. I dry my hands on a cloth and turn to him to judge his state of character. My lipstick grin widens.

'You look nervous.' I whisper.

'Is it that obvious?'

For his sake I downplay it a little, shrugging with one shoulder and making an average sound from the back of my throat.

He puts a hand to his head, inhales and slips through the door, assimilating calm the moment he has to. I continue pottering around for a few extra minutes before doing as Edward did and making an effort to greet our guest.

'Hey Bella.' Oh Jesus. 'You're looking lovely this evening.'

Carlisle was right, she's looking very girly but in a style that fits her. She's wearing a skirt under a posh top with longs sleeves and her hair is looking very smooth along her shoulders. She's not wearing any make up but it suites her just as well and from one smile I realise she's just as nervous as Edward is.

Except Edward's nerves quickly becomes arrogance.

'You, too!' she says quickly, thrusting a bottle of wine to me rather quickly. 'I didn't know what to get, I know Carlisle doesn't drink but Edward suggested-'

'Edward suggested Edward's favourite.' I tease, offering a glass to them. She surprises me in nodding, Edward too and I'm desperate to catch my Saint's eye to tell if he's just as amused as I am.

'Carlisle?'

'No thanks, H-.' He coughs, covering his pet name with a false throat clearing like I haven't noticed but I grin a little wider.

I fetch three glasses, mine just to be polite, and fill them half way. It smells good. Not exactly my favourite wine but I don't think my taste buds really care and after one sip, I keep needing to chase it with another. Satisfactory wine and out of nerves, more because a Saint is making my insides curl, I've already drunk more than Edward and Bella.

'I'm sorry for making you guys dress up.' She says awkwardly, hiding behind her hair as Carlisle shakes his head.

'Not at all. We always dress up, huh, Edward?'

'Just because the two of you do the opposite, Carlisle, doesn't mean the rest of the world does.'

I turn on the spot to glare but Bella is stifling giggles behind her hand as Carlisle and I share a threateningly unamused look. One glass in and he's already pushing it. I swizzle my own glass before draining it awkwardly, avoiding catching Carlisle's eye now I know where Edward's humour is heading but he seems peculiarly relaxed.

'Anyway, the Starter is done if you guys are ready?'

'I'm starved.' Carlisle groans, jumping up to stand next to me.

'I think she meant food, Carlisle.'

'Edward.' I warn but Bella is laughing again, her cheeks blushing sympathetically for us as they share a look which makes me want to punch him in the face. Me and my stupid largemouth are far too friendly for his sake.

'For being a prick, feel free to set the table.' I tell him, pouting. 'If you know where the cutlery is?'

'Of course I know where it is!' He retorts sticking his tongue out.

'All in your room?' Carlisle adds and now Bella's really laughing, placing a hand on Edward's arm to steady her from falling. He laughs too, moving forward to do as he's told while I serve the first course.

It goes down well. Of course it would when Carlisle is making conversation about Bella's classes to keep Edward from throwing us under the bus and even though I have had a glass of wine, it's not the alcohol which is the reason for my staring. It's just another's warm smile not to mention the deep set of his teeth in lips that have not just touched mine but grazed his name into my flesh.

Ugh.

'That was amazing, Esme. Thank you.' Bella says, wiping her mouth with her napkin.

'I'm glad you liked it. I think I saw it on some cooking programme a few weeks ago. I'll give you the recipe if you'd like?'

'I agree, Es. That was perfect.' He drops his spoon to the side plate, smiling across at me in a reserved manner before moving his attention back to Bella. Beside me, Edward's in one of those annoying brother-like moods that would leave him in stitches if we were back home. Actual stitches. With me laughing.

'Delicious.' Edward agrees, beaming at me from my left. I smirk, raising an eyebrow at him already predicting the attitude. It happens. He diagonally reaches across the table to frown at the only other male sitting. 'But that's my leg, Carlisle.'

'Hilarious!' The Saint commends sarcastically, shaking his head. If Bella doesn't stop laughing I swear I'm going to kill both of them.

'Once more and you'll be sleeping outside.' I warn, raising an eyebrow at him knowing for a fact that Carlisle will play the unbiased role if I try it.

'Great! Might finally get a bit of peace and quiet from out there.'

Her shrill laughter gets louder, Edward joining in and even though it stinks of betrayal, I know Carlisle's laughing, too. 'Top up?' He offers, nodding to the bottle.

'Thanks, Carlisle.' Bella smiles. I nod stiffly, glaring at Edward when he raises his glass.

I drink quickly, barely catching Carlisle's attention even when he offers to clear away. I'm too busy in the kitchen with the next course, fucking about plating food up when he kisses my cheek. I jump for no reason, raising an eyebrow at him while indicating the dickhead barely four foot away.

'They might see?' I whisper, glaring at little when they both start laughing again probably at something really pathetic.

'Can I make a suggestion?'

'Does it involve gutting your family?' I say raising a shoulder. He sniggers, lowering the hand that's brandishing the knife and kissing my lips.

It makes my knees shake.

'Play him at his own game?'

'Great idea, I'll just get out my Bella encyclopaedia shall I? What should we start with? B for boring or D or delusional?'

'Es.' He reprimands, shocked and so tempted to laugh I fucking know it. I crack a smile, letting him laugh too before resting my head on his shoulder.

'I didn't mean it?'

'I know.' He says, laughing. 'Don't be mad. He's just showing off?'

'I'm not mad.' I grumble. 'I'm just irritated.'

Carlisle is one-hundred percent right. He is showing off and to prove it, he shows off some dumb-ass party trick with a glass and a grape when Carlisle helps me place the second course on the table.

'Smells amazing.' Bella says weakly, looking rather red in the face as she turns away. Carlisle looks confused at me and for once, Edward is taking the back seat too, looking just as guilty.

'Err, Es?'

'What? What have I done?' I ask, counting the plates to make sure I have everything, yep. Vegetables, meat, extras. Everything's perfect.

'Its fine, Edward. Please leave it?'

'What's wrong?' I repeat, a little more seriously. Edward rubs the back of his neck, frowning in a way that isn't like him to behave. Especially when he's suddenly full of himself.

'Es? Bella's a vegetarian?'

'What?!'

'I thought you knew!' He says, hiding behind his hand as he looks at the fucking animal carcass in front of us. 'You made veg soup!'

'But we had fajitas last week?' I say, pointing towards them in hope that this might just be an out-of-order prank but Bella shakes her head.

'Quorn mince…'

'Please say you're joking? This has to be a joke?' I demand, eyes on the kid like I'm going to throttle him. I am going to throttle him and if I don't get help hiding the body, there's going to be trouble.

'I'm really sorry, Es. I thought I'd said…'

'You're an ass.' Carlisle says, grinning in disbelief. 'You really are an absolute jackass.'

'I thought you both knew!' He defends, awkward. 'I'm so sorry.'

'I'm so embarrassed.' I groan pulling my hands down my face but guess who's got the giggles and for the sake of ease, I just laugh before swigging my drink. 'Is there anything else I can get you?'

Bella shakes her head and points to extras. 'This is perfect. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to create a fuss.'

'You didn't.' I promise. 'Edward on the other hand...'

'Okay, okay. I didn't mean it though. I'm really sorry?'

'You're doing the washing up.' I say, pointing. 'All by hand and if you even think about roping one of us into it, you're screwed.'

'I guess I deserve that.'

'Deserve?' I repeat, laughing. 'Do you realise how much I want to kill you right now?!' Alright so I am laughing but it's still a warning and as I settle down to hide in my food I realise he's really pushing it tonight.

'Can I request you do it before Saturday? I think I'll puke if I see you guys-' He stops, eyes on where I have my knife pointed to the ceiling but with a gentle snicker, Carlisle reaches over to point my hand down towards my food, an eyebrow raised at me.

Bella is still laughing, Carlisle smirking and he's so lucky that my inhibitions are lowered because it means I can test where his loyalties lie. I take another drink of the wine, waiting for him to finish his mouthful before kicking my foot not just up his ankle but right to his thigh. His eyes widen to his plate and distracted, he takes an awkward gulp of his water, avoiding a response while Edward continues to entertain.

'Looking forward to Saturday, Bella?' I ask, momentarily forgetting all that Charlie said in the car but Edward shakes his head at me, green eyes turned away. Carlisle is suddenly looking guiltier.

'I'm not much of a party person.' She diffuses, smiling but Edward is glaring at Carlisle.

'I thought you were going to tell her?' He says, looking pointedly at me. I push my food away from me now I'm done with it and watch them. Carlisle shakes his head, shrugging slightly but my attention is caught.

'Tell me what?' I ask warily, holding tightly onto my glass because I'm suddenly unsure of the change of tone.

'Edward doesn't approve of our attendance.' Carlisle says tiredly, looking away but Edward deliberately clears his throat. 'Specifically yours…'

'Mine?' I repeat. 'Jesus, Edward. If you didn't want me there just say?'

'Of course I want you there. You love parties. Unfortunately Carlisle reckons it's a great idea to introduce you to his psycho father because he's a masochistic twit.'

'Edward.' Carlisle warns, frowning.

'It's true.'

'Understandable but not appropriate?' He looks to Bella, smiling slightly. I pull my foot off his lap to sit up.

'Why are you so concerned?' I ask, frowning accusingly. Carlisle touches his forehead, almost rolling his eyes as Edward glares at him. The glass he's just chugged is giving him the bravery to turn into some sexist asshole and for the sake of Carlisle, I fight really hard not to take it as personally as I could.

'Tell her not to go.'

'I can't do that.' He retorts, shaking his head but I intervene. What on earth happened to the one-hundred and eighty degree turn on the tone of the evening?

'And you won't do that. It's rude. Tell me why I shouldn't go?'

'It's not for me to say.' Edward says sternly. Carlisle rolls his eyes.

'She knows, Kid. She's not going in their blindfolded.'

'She also has a name.' I say, pushing out my chair. 'Tell me what's going on.'

'It's nothing.' Carlisle says sweetly, embarrassed by Edward's sudden comment and more embarrassed that Bella's listening to this. I don't give a shit if Bella's here or not, if there's a problem I need to know.

'Nothing?' Edward guffaws, shaking his head. It earns him a silent glare.

'If someone doesn't tell me what's going on, I swear to God-'

'His father's nuts!'

'I know that?'

'No, Esme, you don't. You haven't met him and taking you with us is like wearing a big red target.' He says quickly and despite the fierceness of his words, the manner of their arrangement is suggesting he's being completely selfless… like he's actually looking out for me?

'You think I'm that horrendous?'

'No!' He promises earnestly. 'Not at all. It doesn't matter if you're all over each other or not, what matters is that you're a woman.'

'So?' What a time to make such a comment!

'You understand the risk you're taking, don't you?' He corrects, turning again to Carlisle who is nodding stiffly. 'You know how bad this could end up?'

'Please stop panicking. There's going to be so many people there, including your parents that it wouldn't matter who walked through those doors.'

'It matters because it's you, Carlisle. Look at how many people have to tell you that.'

'Can we please not argue about this over dinner?' He pleads weakly, looking at the two of us and making us both shrink in our seats. Bella is looking even more embarrassed but Edward and I are weirdly comfortable in a state of frustration.

He smiles crookedly at me in apology but I shake my head.

'It's not an argument, it's a discussion. If you don't want me there-'

'Esme, stop it.'

'If either of you don't want me there-' I continue, holding my glass to my chest as I dare the two boys to interrupt me. 'Speak now or forever hold your peace.'

'Of course we want-'

'It's dangerous.' Edward groans.

'You're being ridiculous.' I reply, gripping the glass.

'I'm being ridiculous? You don't know the man-'

'It'll give me perfect opportunity-'

'Guys!' Carlisle intervenes, voice raised only slightly above his usual tone but it's enough to shut the both of us up. 'I want you both there. If either of you don't want to come, that's fine, it's up to you. But neither will be endangered regardless of age, gender or mind-set. Okay?'

'But-'

'No but's Edward- We're not discussing this!'

Okay, this is largely unfair of me, I'll admit that. We shouldn't be irritating him or annoying him or making him uncomfortable when he's asked us to stop. But fucking hell, Cullen is hot when he's commanding.

'Fine.' Edward concedes, hands up in surrender. 'I'm sorry.'

Carlisle is very close to blushing when he looks under his lashes at me, blue stark on my features as Bella shrinks a little between three rather unapologetic personalities. Or in this instance at least, Carlisle seems unapologetic.

'Well if it goes wrong at least we know you can wreck the place?'

'Edward!' I chastise but the timing of the comment makes me laugh with Bella, Carlisle too until I'm pretty sure the wine has definitely gone to our heads and I'm giggling so hard, I'm falling into Edward's arm.

'You've changed your tune?'

Carlisle's laughing just as hard until eventually he has to step away from the table to try and gain a breath. Change of tune is overrated. Ruined bedding and a night in with Carlisle certainly isn't. I'm starting to think Bella is laughing more because of the alcohol because she looks blissfully confused as we fail to mask our hilarity.

We haven't got much of the wine left so I spontaneously open another, fill three glasses and hint at the fourth but with a smile he shakes his head.

'Even though you're the one who needs it the most?' I say, scrunching my nose.

'I take the comment very harshly, Miss Platt.'

'Forgive me? My inhibitions are lowered.' With a smug pout I watch him very carefully conceal a grin with a gulp from his glass. Edward is looking astounded, if not horrified, most probably because I've just ousted his greatest power and we both know it.

Bella chuckles at his immature gagging and like the sweetheart she is, helps him to clear the table while I'm granted the freedom to put my feet up for five minutes. I don't take the offer up and even though he's irritating the hell out of me, for the sake of his guest, I dismiss him away to entertain while I clear up the dishes.

With one hot as hell Saint! Wooh!

'Hey Handsome.' I grin, reaching up on the tips of my toes to kiss his cheek but he's rather tall and he has to stoop to grant it.

'Hello hands,' he teases, indicating the scratch of my fingertips into his back. He sighs, content before moving carefully out of my grip till I'm pouting. 'I never realised wine made you this loving.' He chuckles, flicking his hair out of his face to pass me a few bits of crockery to dry up.

'Excuse me, Cullen, I am exceptionally loving.'

As proven last night.

'Are you now?' He challenges, raising an eyebrow and looking back to the open door for just a second. I don't know where they've gone. Maybe upstairs, maybe around the garden? Maybe I don't care.

'Would you like me to prove it?'

'Another time maybe?'

I sigh, throwing my arms across my chest and trying my best to look extra haughty. His chuckle is soothing, his grin beaming extra wide as I try to look all sultry in front of him. It's difficult though when he's tall and I'm like this tiny little hobbit thing.

'Am I embarrassing you?'

'No.' He promises, laughing. 'Whereas Edward…'

'Ignore Edward. I know I am.'

'Yes but not on account of what he's saying but rather because you're trying to wing woman him.'

'Carlisle!' I gasp, acting offended. 'I am not.'

'If Bella wasn't here you would've ripped his throat out by now. And he knows it.' He softens his observation with another grin but this time it shows all gleaming white teeth in a way that could make him look like a hot-dentist. I shake my head disbelievingly, challengingly grinning before swatting him with the cloth on the back of his legs.

The yelp of surprise is as flattering as the pink in his skin.

'You Devil.' He mocks, flicking water at me but I squeal and call a ceasefire on account of tiles and slippery feet and at least one bottle of wine.

Mid-cease fire then gives me the opportunity to pinch him in the waist so that he jolts, grabbing me playfully at the hips with a wet hand and hoisting me up so that I'm balanced under his hands, face to face and giggling. It's unbelievably beautiful. He's unbelievably beautiful. How did we end up here?

'You're really not embarrassed, are you?' I ask delicately, brushing his fringe behind him in the way he loves it best. He shakes his head, his smile reserved when he nuzzles my nose.

'Not at all. I'm exceptionally jealous, however.'

'Jealous?' I ask. He nods.

'That he's getting to make the same jokes I would but with the credit… that and he's stealing our attention for the night.'

'Carlisle, you're a fool if you think my mind goes to anything but you while in your presence.'

His cologne smells so good at this angle, the marks on his neck hidden by the collar of his shirt though I know they're there. Just as I know what turns him on. How sexy he is when he reaches his high and when he delivers it. Just how much there is to deliever, too. The sigh he offers is annoyingly gutted and even though I can hear what it suggests, I have to ask.

'What's the matter?'

'You've had a bottle of wine, Esme… I shouldn't-'

'Before you spurt the moral high ground crap please remember how much fun I had last night. How long I've been wanting you and how I have spent every moment of the day focused on last night…' I raise my eyebrows again, leaning close to him, my hair slipping down my back. 'I consented then just as I am consenting now and would do if sober...'

He's apparently too focused on my summary of yesterday because his dark blue eyes seem amazed in mine.

'Really?' He's still holding me to him, arms tucked under my legs, securing my safety. I nod, surprised by the sudden movement of his lips on mine but with a giggle I tuck myself into it.

'Can I tell you a secret?'

'Of course.' I promise, capturing his top lip again and laughing a little when he kisses me open-mouthed.

'I have even less will-power now than I've ever had…'

'Are you asking me not to have sex with you?'

He nods, his chuckles soft. 'Uh-huh, I'm completely dependent on you to keep me grounded… At least, not tonight…'

'Because of the wine?'

'I'd prefer you not to be intoxicated when we join forces.'

'Nice choice of words.' I praise him, laughing with my fingertips slipping down the back of his neck. He shudders.

'Thanks.'

'My skirt is riding up…' I notice, looking past our chests to see where the tight fabric is trying to slide even further up my thighs like a suggestive wish. It couldn't be more suggestive if I stuffed my underwear in his pocket, too. Though for once I don't think sex is necessarily first on our agenda. Maybe it is but more than that is just making out with him, one person to another.

'I was just saying- oh for Fuck sake. Really?! We eat here!' Edward playfully throws his arms up to us. Carlisle smiles but doesn't loosen his arms yet.

We also eat in the living room and I would happily join forces with Carlisle in there if he wished. The couch could be fun and for sure the table would be a thrill.

I blame the wine but spotting Edward does little to alarm me, I giggle, shielding my face slightly with my hair before dropping gently to the ground, a hand guiding my safety.

'If you're quite finished?' He asks, shaking a dismissive head.

'There's still tonnes of washing up to do so, no.'

'I meant sex on our kitchen counter.' I feel Carlisle roll his eyes. with a smirk. 'Anyway, I was going to suggest a film?' Edward continues, fighting the smile on his face as he blushes for our sake. Neither Carlisle nor I are blushing but I am most certainly watching his face, the reserved smile and wondering what he's thinking.

'Before you do that, I've got something for you!' I say excitedly, rushing upstairs to grab the bag from under my bed.

When I come back downstairs, the two are standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room, Bella making various conversation starters before I pass the two small bags to the boys. Edward rushes forward, Cullen is wary, offers me a smirk and takes it from my hand. He probably thinks it's more porn or something. It's not. Not that I would be averse to buying him more of the stuff, it's just unnecessary for now.

Oh shut up Esme.

They both dive in at the same point, pulling out the long red material of the ties. Edward smiles but that's not the face I'm interested in. Cullen is grinning, utterly surprised as he smooths the material between his delicately talented fingers.

'I know you boys don't wear red a lot and realistically, I'm not going to force you but I'm thinking we should all match as that's the colour of my dress.'

Despite the fact he's not wearing the right colour collared shirt, Edward gets Bella to help him tie it immediately and despite my worries, it looks okay and even suits the red in his hair. He seems pleased which is a relief. If this is how I get him to chill out about the event, I'm pleased it's working.

'This is brilliant, thank you.'

I'm surprised by the sudden grin, again thanking the alcohol for the change in his humour. But Edward has already moved on and is fiddling with the black square box that was hidden beneath the ties.

Cullen frowns, sits next to me on the sofa and reaches in to grab his own little box.

'I want you to open them together.' I say quickly, stalling Edward as he tries to unclasp it as quick as possible. Cullen is savouring the moment, his blue eyes burning with curiosity and that smirk highlighting his jaw.

But the smirk softens into bewildered joy when they open the boxes.

'Oh, Es,' he sighs sweetly, gently touching them as if they're not real. 'You didn't have to do this,' he says a little more firmly but he's still touched by it.

He hugs me quickly before Edward comes over and gives me a tight one armed hug and though it's the one I didn't want to linger on, it's still nice.

'They're beautiful, Esme.'

What I'm not going to say is that this is probably the most money I've spent on someone who isn't myself. I've brought them both cufflinks with a coloured red stone in the middle. That way people know we kind of came together tomorrow. Like a team.

'I hope they weren't expensive.' He sighs, trying not to look pleased with them but he's wearing his famous Cullen smile. Except that it's not his famous Cullen smile or his smirk…it's a new one…and I'm claiming that bad boy.

'I didn't blow my quit-the-job fund if that's what you're asking?'

'You don't need a fund for that, just quit it already.' He's more convincing when he's not doting on a piece of jewellery that I've bought him, but that's not the point.

He flicks his wrist and smiles, trying to look anywhere that isn't my face or my knee but favouring one over the other, he eventually gives in to catch a hold of my hand.

'It's very thoughtful…'

'And non-refundable.' I remind him sternly, grinning when he shakes his head at me. 'You bought my dress after all.'

'So?'

'So now we're even.'

'We're not even.' He chuckles, looking briefly to Edward and Bella who are making similar comments praising my choice. He's hesitating, looking guilty before he pulls me gently into another hug and kissing me quickly enough that I'm almost not sure he's done it.

'They're beautiful, Esme. You have such an eye.'

'Thanks Bella.' I smile awkwardly at the two of them, shying a little from Edward's equally shy grin before indicating the television.

'Before we do-' She looks behind her to the piano and smiles, her cheeks made rosy due to the drink and her movements a little less stunted by her awkwardness. 'Would you play something?'

'Me?' I repeat, laughing with my Saint. Edward has characteristically looked away.

'Edward said you played?'

'If Edward wants me to play- I'll play.' I say daringly. It makes the kids laugh ten-fold and finishing off my glass of wine and indicating another, I dramatically seat myself at Edward's prized possession.

I fidget on the stool, pretend to crack my knuckles and let my hand ghost over the keys before asking for requests.

'Chopin - Nocturne. If you will Es?'

I laugh again, pressing down dramatically on a lower C chord before bursting into giggles and pressing random keys as quickly as possible. Edward cringes, suffering from the abusive sounds of my playing before he turns and makes a face to Carlisle.

'Please fix this- she's causing me pain.'

'Edward…' But nevertheless he walks over to where I'm sat, perches next to me and drapes a finger over the keys.

'May I?'

'If you do better than the Show Off, then of course.'

He takes a hold of my hand, gentle in his cold palms and points to the right keys. With a stumble, he manages the intro to a few nursery rhymes and encourages me to copy, softening my hand when I press down too hard and asking for me to repeat myself.

I only just manage to finish an offensive version of Twinkle, Twinkle… and have forgotten about the added presence surrounding me. So I lean comfortably into his shoulder.

'Better.' Edward applauds. 'But still rather terrible considering how long you've been practicing.'

'Go on then, Show Off. Take over.'

He looks alarmed at the two of us.

'But-'

'Go.' I insist, letting Carlisle help me up as I wink at Edward.

'You'll be wanting to sit down for this.' I murmur to Bella, surprised when she actually does sit exactly where Carlisle was sat next to me.

What with the wine and the giggling and Edward's music, I've fallen into a bad habit and settle close to his side when he pulls out the cufflinks for a second look. He's stunned, almost without words as Edward continues to play a few of his home favourites. Bella is amazed by it and the moment silence falls to let him play, I remember all the beautiful traits about Edward which Carlisle so dearly respects and respect them myself.

Possibly because the alcohol.

She's in awe of him, watching his hands move with such consideration that I doubt she can hear anything else. I'm warmly perched on the sofa and with my wine far on the table, I let my foot dangle with Carlisle's, balancing on his ankle in the closest thing to a hug that I can take.

'This one, Carlisle?' Edward asks and very gently, he manages to manoeuvre his hands into a tune I know too well.

'That's the one, Edward. How did you manage to find it?'

He shrugs, concealing a gentle smirk as he lets me grow accustomed to the tune. My heart is starting to hurt and with a hand on my chest I let the song set in.

'This is it.' Carlisle murmurs, close to my ear. 'This is the song I was thinking of…'

'Oh My God,' I respond vulnerably, shaking my head slightly. It stood for every coincidence I'd ever found between us. Literally everything. 'This was my dad's favourite…' I whisper emotively.

'Oh, Hon. I'm so sorry, I didn't know-'

'No, it's perfect…' Before they look over, I hastily wipe what I think is going to be a tear and smile awkwardly at him but he places a kiss to my temples and everything that I hated about the tune soon reminds me of everything I love about it.

Everything I love about Carlisle…

It's getting late so thanking Edward for the performance we leave it up to Bella to choose the film and work around their choice of seating, too. Weirdly, they stay on the opposite side of the room, Bella sat on the armchair with Edward between her legs. I would offer the several remaining seats we have but he's clearly chosen to sit there and his face reveals no discomfort. Just in case, I pass him a cushion though and take the seat nearest the kitchen as Carlisle settles into the end of the sofa, head resting against the back, eyes to the TV. His smile is tired, his thoughts elsewhere as he continues to bounce my foot. At one point, during an important bit of the film, the cheek that is resting on his fist slips slightly, his eyes close. So I throw my feet onto his lap, cross my ankles and lay back into my seat.

The sudden weight on his legs surprises him but he gently tickles my ankle in acknowledgement and returns his head to the TV. It's not a very nice film. The murderer is having a flashback to how he killed the victim and the moment the show 'flashes back' to an attack, a warm palm comes back to my ankles. It's a bit unlike him, it's unlike any one really when I'm the other person but the contact is nice, even if it's not needed.

Though his sensitivity is appreciated… and his touch his even better.

Until of course, the scene moves on and he gets mischievous. Something else is happening, another section of cross cutting from detective to murderer, the music gets panicky, everyone's on edge. Something makes me jump.

A light finger traces down the back of my ankle to the heel of my foot and because I'm ticklish as hell, my movement catches Edward's frown. Cullen of course looks perfectly innocent, his right hand supporting the weight of his jaw and, his left hand, God bless that left hand, with the knuckles and grazes calming down in colour sits idly behind my calf where neither Edward nor Bella can see it.

For some dumb reason, I pretend nothing has happened. Someone is smirking at me, waiting for me to become re-invested in the scene before tracing the same pattern again. And of course, I leap.

By the third time, the film has caught my attention so severely that the painfully soft movements of his finger on my calf makes me react unexpectedly. The finger traces, my nerves scream in alert and my reflexes force me to kick his inner thigh. Edward looks over. I'm stifling my laughter but it's loud enough that it's covering his low groans of pain. Oooops. He moves my foot further away from his sensitive region, trying to ignore either the heat, or the blush in his cheeks (it was a pretty hard kick) and goes to repeat the action, never letting his eyes leave the television.

Meaning I have to say something quickly before I cry with laughter and Edward, or Bella, accuses us of flirting again.

'Have you ever noticed that during sex scenes the focus is only on female nudity?'

Just like magic, he drops his hand acknowledging Edward's frown when he turns to the source of the voice. I haven't spoken completely out of turn, the 'murder's victim' has now just had sex with someone else, pretty rough sex too after being assaulted which seems ridiculous.

'What?' Edward says, looking almost offended that I dare criticise a film that his beloved has chosen. Bella looks shy, pulling her smirk down as she judges his reaction.

'Look at the camera angles, she's in the main focus in every shot. It's all down to how her body moves and the pleasure from that and not the act itself.'

Carlisle keeps quiet, mainly because he's still staring at my feet. It's making me a bit self-conscious. My nail vanish is all chipped and I didn't shave properly when I should have meaning I have fine leg hair covering my ankles.

'What's your point?'

There's another close up of the actress as she 'screams' out an orgasm after he thrusts into her twice. Twice. That's not even fairy-tale, that's just bollocks.

'It just shows how even now in our modern day everything is catered to men.' I say excitedly. 'Look! Just fucking look!

I point to the screen to where she is now on approximately her third orgasm, three in one, the guy hasn't lost it once and the camera stays well away from his hips, preferring to just feature the gasp on her face and the jiggling of her breasts.

'That doesn't happen!'

'You would know.' Edward mutters, still a little defensive. I've destroyed the illusion for him. Good. Carlisle shakes his head, laughing.

'They haven't even had any foreplay or anything. He just rammed her as she orgasmed, that's not sex that's-' Shut up, Esme.

Finally the blue eyes look to me. But do I shut up? Of course not. No. That would be sensible. I'm not sensible. I'm a fucking impulsive maniac.

'Who the fuck has sex with someone a week after getting sexually assaulted?!'

The blue eyes soften and for a blip, I think I'm going to knock his teeth out. I look towards his hand; unconsciously, he's flexing his knuckles, maybe to see if they're healing up. Maybe to see if he regrets the act that's caused the injuries, I don't know. All I know is that he's got a gentle smile on his mouth as he strokes my shin.

'They're not just focused on her tits, look, there's downstairs action there!' Thank fuck someone's listening though I'm convinced Edward's using the words 'downstairs action' because he knows that it will make Bella laugh. I surprise myself by laughing too.

'Fucking hell, Edward it's a pubic hair advert. The only bit you see of him is moving hips or his backside getting fondled.'

Cullen's moved his hands. This time they sit together, one over the other on top of my right leg, touching both legs but not in a deliberately teasing manner. More like a sign of camaraderie. Or companionship. Or whatever. I say deliberately because having him touch any part of my body when I've seen what's under his clothes is more than thrilling. When I've fondled it, too…

'I don't think that's meant to be the point-'

A high pitched squeal radiates through the speakers.

'For fuck sake, she's just come again?!'

'Came.' Mutters a small voice. 'Past tense, no?' He says with a shrug once he realises that both Edward and I are gawking at him. I'm doing it more for comedic effect, that and it would be weird if I didn't react. Meanwhile Edward looks like he's going to vomit.

'Too far.' He swears. 'Too, too far.'

Even the tips of his fingers grow warm with a blush.

The film is getting a bit ridiculous now and before it bores me to tears and sends Cullen to sleep, we make an effort to serve the dessert I prepared earlier. Which is all very well for the two opposite us who are having a lovely evening at our expense. For Carlisle and I, it proves I shouldn't be let anywhere near wine when in his presence.

We're sickenly disgusting, so far that I hate it myself but I can't care. I share his dessert, I share his spoon and once he's bitten off a huge section of ice cream, I wrap my tongue around his cutlery and let it balance in my hot mouth, my feet automatically shifting in his lap.

Taking the spoon off me, he picks at his bowl and brings it to his mouth, scooping off the ice cream with his tongue. This might be harder than I planned...

As normal, he eats more than me while I pick at the sides.

'You should be privileged, I don't even do this with Alice,' I whisper, battling his spoon for the perfect dome of sweetness. He lets me take it.

'I do feel privileged….' He smiles, making sure he's not looking at my face when holding the spoon in between the fingers of his good hand. 'I always do.'

Bella's watching us curiously, probably asking us to shut the fuck up so I take a spoonful of the ice cream and shove it to his mouth and although he's a little bemused at first, he lightens up and eats it so that I'm stifling giggles again. Once the dessert ends, much with our complaints, we turn back to the film which is ten times worse than it was in the first half.

'See!'

Edward whines and scratches the meeting of his eyebrows.

'Why did you have to do this?! You've ruined television for me.'

'Admit it, Kid. She's got a point.'

He didn't need much convincing because my evidence was pretty self-explanatory. Including this scene with the 'stud' surrounded by the multiple women he's pleasing. And what to the viewers get to see? A man's torso and two completely naked women. Ridiculous. Are we watching a film or porn?!

'There literally couldn't have been a worse time for you to call me that.'

Carlisle rolls his eyes, refusing to let them drop again because he's pretty paranoid about my reflexes. He's still holding both my ankles. Lightly though. And like I said before, his warmth is nice.

'There's far too much sex in this industry. Why can't we go back to the old royal manor of-'

'Sex and slavery?' Cullen asks with a smirk. Well he would call it that, he's a Brit.

'That is not what I meant. What about the Kings and Queens and stuff. Where you had to woo a lady to take her maidenhead?'

I know it sounds dumb but I have a point. Even Edward laughs this time, the boys laughter chiming in beautifully like a harmony while at least Bella is respecting my point.

'Like that king that went mad with Syphilis?' Bella asks softly.

'Or Charles II's twelve whores.' Edward mutters between chortles.

'Duchesses.' I correct with a sly grin, laughing as much as them.

'What about all the poetry about his lack of stature?' Edward mocks of me. 'Wasn't that written somewhere?'

Like the little book of knowledge that he is, Carlisle opens ups and finds his energy. 'You mean the Libertine poetry?'

I'm trying to hide my laugh because I'm not totally familiar with what he's talking about. He loves his history, he would do, but I can barely listen to it for a few seconds before I'm creating my own little scenery in my head. Edward guffaws and the moment the sound breaks the room, Carlisle's shade turns brighter.

'What?' He asks, daringly. 'It's witty!'

He looks over to me like he's going to explain seeing as Cullen is far too embarrassed to do so at the moment. Not by me but by Edward.

'Got any of the poetry upstairs?'

Carlisle shrugs. 'Some'

I watch the forced, from the doctor, and the jovial laughter from the students with confusion. Edward is grinning with delight, more at the fact that someone's just exposed himself to be a massive pervert and Bella, I think, is just appreciating the entertainment.

'Trust me, Es. It's right up your street!'

My frown stays on my face as I nod slowly. I haven't really read much of it. I don't even know what a libertine is? My memory for history is pretty shit too.

'Oh hush, Edward.' He says playfully, excusing himself to take out the dirty dishes with Bella's help.

'You've embarrassed him now!' I tease loudly, making sure he can hear me, Edward's crooked smile evolves into the grin he rarely ever uses.

'Just wait till Emmett-'

'Please remember I've known you through puberty, Masen. I have tales on you that would turn your mother's blood cold.'

I am all over this! My attention immediately jumps to Bella who looks equally as excited as we turn desperate for such stories but Edward is using his perfect poker face…until he looks at his girl and then he's all twelve-year-old-with-a-crush.

'You have got to tell us-'

'No.' Carlisle says quickly, not even turning to see me pout let alone hear Bella murmur some suggestion into the kids ear while I focus on getting this guy down but he's stubborn and not just stubborn but tired which is a bad mix when I'm watching him like a piece of meat.

Effortless. That sums up everything about how beautiful he is, it's one hundred percent effortless. He's effortlessly thoughtful. Effortlessly sexy, sweet, caring. Did I mention hot? Especially with his legs around mine on this sofa. I take one last sip of the wine, try to stick out three minutes of the television before giving in.

Untill I know I cant take it anymore, I want to be naked with him again.

'I'm exhausted guys, I'm going to go to bed.'

'No comment.' Edward mutters. 'Oh, wait. Really?'

I nod, pulling my legs out of the Saint's lap to stand up and hug Bella tightly. 'I hope you had a good night, I'm sorry we didn't do much.'

'No, no. Thank you for a lovely evening. You've spoiled me.'

'Well…' I murmur, pulling a face. She hugs me again, overcome with the wine I think and pulls back shyly to awkwardly bump into Edward.

'Don't stay up too late, yeah?'

'Was that to me or Carlisle?'

'For once, Edward it was to you.' I hug him too, having to lean up again because he's close to Carlisle's height. He's a little more sincere with his lanky body stretched over mine like a palm tree but I think that's just an Edward thing where the moment his stomach is in knots, he forgets all about his so called morals, drops us like hot coals and fights hard to impress the geek in front.

The thought makes me laugh.

'Thank you…' He mouths, carefully watching Carlisle, too.

'I know.'

I save the best for last but in saving the best for last, less is always more. He's still sat down facing the television with his eyes one me. Touching his shoulder gently, I kiss him on the temples before merely suggesting something which catches all of his attention.

'I'm going for a shower.'

'Are you sure that's wise?'

'No comment!' Edward repeats, louder, receiving both a laugh and a gentle slap from the girl who he's been idolising for hours now.

'Nevertheless it's what I'm going to do.' I raise an eyebrow at him as if to set a challenge and bid goodnight to the gang. Once I reach the top stair I realise he had no other thought.

'Err, you've dropped this, Carlisle?'

'Oh.' I can hear his gulp as he turns to take my tights from where Edward has retrieved them from the floor. 'Thanks.'

'Goodnight.'

'Goodnight you two, be safe.'

'Carlisle!'

From my perfect step up here I'm close to wetting myself with laughter.

'Sorry!' He amends quickly. 'Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Just…err… goodnight...'

'Night.' Edward repeats and it's the best thing in the world to spot him reach new levels of embarrassment as Carlisle follows the rest of the steps.

'Was that a ploy or are you actually going for a shower?' He asks once I'm stood in the middle of his room, picking at pieces of the bedding with my hands.

'Why? Do you think I need assistance?'

Because I want assistance more than anything, that's for sure. He doesn't reply but grins, grabbing a handful of our murdered fabric and pulling it into a trash bag .

'We could just christen my bed?' I murmur to him, coming up on my knees to help him stuff the bag. It should surprise me that he's not about to tell me off, instead it makes my heart quicken in time to hear his breathy chuckle. 'Carlisle?'

'You know my reply.' He says endearingly, refusing to acknowledge my heavy lashes or my full pout. So I push him till he's flat on the floor and climb onto him.

'And now?' I beg, roaming both my palms up his woollen jumper while trying to find a perfect angle to sit on him but the pencil skirt is making it difficult. He hums a little, smiling one sided when he winds a hand up into my hair, holding me up.

'No change, My Love.'

I huff, trying to further open my stance to grind against him when I both hear and feel the fabric break at my thigh. Great. 'Well that doesn't make me feel good about my weight.'

'Your weight has nothing to do with it. Your mischief however...'

'Are you implying I deserve a ripped skirt?' I ask, leaning harder into my hands to give him the best angle of my cleavage. He's still laughing. 'Personally, I think the ripped skirt is a sign.'

'Is it now?' He plays along, watching me fondly with his head resting against the carpet, ignoring the feathers in sight.

'The universe wants us to have sex.'

'If that universe is one Esme Platt, then yes, I'm sure you're right.'

'Well considering where I'm sat, am I not technically at the centre of your universe?' I challenge, again doing my best to make all my angles look especially appealing while I intoxicate myself on just one scent and a bitterly good one at that.

'You are my whole universe.' He corrects and raising an eyebrow he allows himself to pull up close to me and kiss my lips. I don't know if it's his words or his mouth that wins him over but guessing by my inability to launch myself at him, I'm assuming it's the delicate caress of his words. 'But-'

'There had to be a 'but'.' I whine, trying to seduce him by taking more of his attention, having those lips and crushing them to me while I knead the fabric of his shirt.

He carefully loosens my hold and kisses me innocently again. It's making me ache more.

'Hon, why don't you go have a shower and I'll sort this out?' With his free hand, he picks up a tiny white feather and focuses on it in front of my face so that I feel I'm going cross eyed. I lean away from him, sighing.

'Why don't you come join me in the shower?'

He snickers and shakes his head in a gentle decline.

'I'll introduce you to a blow-job?' I seduce, dragging my tongue across my bottom lip before racking my teeth over it. He laughs, groaning ever so softly, his eyes closing.

'Which is exactly why I'm staying here while you shower.' He laughs again, kissing away any suggestion of offence with his perfect lips before shifting me off of him. 'Go on.'

'Are you always this bossy?' I complain, fitting a hand on my hip.

'I can be.'

'Good.' Unbuttoning my shirt, I throw it directly at him, grinning when he shakes his head at me.

'Go.' He repeats, biting away a laugh with a half stern raise of his eyebrows.

'Bite me.'

'I already have.' He reminds me and raising his hand towards the door, he very deliberately winks at me.

To set the story straight, I guess it doesn't take a genius to realise dehydration plus further dehydration isn't exactly clever. Nor funny. So going into a shower drunk leaves me coming out even drunker.

Which is somewhat problematic when I'm still trying to convince him I'm sober enough to perform oral sex.

Who am I kidding, I know no one is getting an orgasm tonight. But I don't really mind, it's still fun teasing each other. Despite the effort I put into my hair today, I wash it all off with the hot water, letting it soak into me as I scrub at my skin with the fruit soap. Listening hard, I can just about hear Edward still playing the piano but softer tunes followed by even softer whispers of conversation between the two.

By the time I'm clean, and a lot more intoxicated than I felt walking into the shower, I stumble back into his room to find not only is all the mess cleared, save one or two reluctant feathers, but further more he's stolen my bedding and is laying on it at the moment. He's reading from a book, hand holding the middle of the spine with his ankle crossed over the other. He's disregarded of the jumper and has unbuttoned a few of the top buttons exposing a little more of his gorgeous chest perfuming that heavenly sting.

I stay staring wrapped in a shorter towel with my wet hair pulled to the side. I'm not sure if I'm pouting or drooling but it has to be one of them because he's so unbelievably gorgeous, head tilted as he reads the lines from an angle. I almost don't want to disturb him.

'You alright?' He asks, eyes still focused on the book at hand. He finishes the line, sighs and gives me his full attention, suppressing a groan.

'Can I tell you a secret?' I slurr, wavily.

'You're drunk?' He guesses, trying to not sound as harsh as the words are.

'How did you know?!'

'You're flushed.' I don't know what is the change in his attitude but I'm not sure he's telling me off. It's more like he's just making observations which amuse him. Which gives purpose to the smirk on his lips, I guess.

'Because you turn me on.' I explain, shaking my head at him.

'And you just stumbled in here. You're also squinting quite a bit, too.'

'Am not.' I argue.

'Are so.' He returns, mimicking what I guess must be Edward as a teenager. It's pathetically sweet.

'Oh yeah? Well if I'm drunk, how can I do this?'

Tightening the towel against my bust, I open the stance of my legs, stretch out my toes before pushing myself, surprisingly accurately to my right foot and performing an arabesque croisee. I don't hold it for very long, the towel is slipping and he's jumped up, concerned for my failure.

'Please be careful?'

'Not even slightly impressed?' I sulk, pretending to look somewhat miserable as he stays standing, a hand cast out to me.

'Amazed.' He amends, nodding. 'But your towel?'

'Good.' I lean my neck up, a hand in my hair when I bite my lip, the water droplets slipping from my shoulders and disipating with the heat in the room.

'And you told me off for flirting.' He says with a chuckle.

'I'm not flirting, I'm trying to turn you on.'

'You don't need to try.' He promises tiredly, smiling. 'But you should really put some clothes on-'

'Fine!' I concede, pushing him out the way with my fingers teasing the buttons of his partly open shirt.

I think he's going to tell me off again but he settles for a roll of the eyes because I'm doing as he's asked and finding something comfortable of his to wear. I know he's watching me, so I lean out my leg a little, hand on the top drawer when I get confused and wrench open the second one instead.

'Es- wait!'

What the?

'Oh-kay?'

Holy fricking crap?!

He's groaning, hands covering his very pink face as I pull the sheet out to look at it properly. He can draw?! Since when? It's a simple sketch, surprisingly flattering and one of me in my best angles, probably copied from memory. He's drawn it with black ink, generous with the length of my hair and the curls, my grin wide and my shoulders relaxed. It's unexpected, and fairly pretty but most definitely me. Hence my astonishment.

'You can draw?'

'Nothing to your standards.' he mutters, shyly.

'When did you do this?!' I turn it over in my hand, checking for any sign of a date but there's none. Not even a signature either. The only way I know he's the artist is the colour in his face and the hidden treasures.

'Last summer. Emmett's birthday…' He mumurs, scratching the back of his neck as he hesitates trying to figure out what I'm thinking.

I'm not making it easy for him. The drawing captures my attention again. It's a good drawing. Not over detailed but it's simplicity makes it even more astounding. The fact I can tell it's me, feel and smell the ink as if it's old...Explains the hair length.

'You drew me?'

'Es, please. Can't you see how embarrassed I am?'

'Wait!' I pause him, grinning. 'Instead of just keeping a photo or whatever, you drew me?'

'What do you want me to say?' He asks, cringing, his crumbly smile taking over as he tries to pretend I haven't just discovered his dirty little secret. That diagrams are nothing and actually, he can really sketch.

'Is this how you see me?' I ask, clutching the drawing to my chest and running a hand down it.

'Please just put it back?'

'Admit it. You find me sexy!'

'I never denied it?' He defends, voice higher than usual for the sake of him cringing.

He comes towards me to take it out my grip but I step away. So he comes towards me again and I jump, scooting to his bed, and then on top of his bed, sitting on the headboard, shaking around my ammunition and singing.

'You love me, you wanna hug me, and you wanna kiss me…'

'Esme?' He begs, eyebrows knitted together in frustration as he lunges for the drawing.

'And you wanna fuck me.'

'Es.' He says seriously, looking at me with such authority that I know I'm teetering across a border that he doesn't like. 'Please give it back?'

'What's the magic word?' I tease him, opening the stance of my legs again but it's pointless because the towel is covering anything interesting.

'Stop?'

'Nah, that's not it.' I say, shaking my head. 'Maybe it's got something to do with how hot I was in the summer of twenty-fifteen?'

He raises an eyebrow, stepping away from the bed to let me show off a little more and I take as much air-time as I can, laughing at myself for what feels like hours until eventually, my brain jumps to the wrong act immediately. Or maybe the right one?

'Tell me Cullen, was I hotter then or now?'

'I'm not playing.' He retorts, biting away his smirk but it completely drops when I take the towel off.

His challenging expression turns soft and he looks at me, strong in the face so weak willed that for a moment I don't really think he's aware of himself. His lips part, whether to protest or to breathe who knows, his fringe falling over his lidded dark eyes as he tries, unsuccessfully to tell me off.

'Would you make love to me? If I asked?'

He doesn't say anything, just closes his eyes and breathes for a few heavy seconds. Eventually he shakes his head.

'Because I'm drunk?' I ask hopefully.

'Yes.' He confirms and stepping around to my side of the bed, he holds my hand as I sit and finds me not only a pair of his shorts to wear but also an oversized hoodie. 'Arms up?'

For once I do as he asks without complaint, hoping to soften the silence in him but the smile of his suggests it's not a negative sign. Carefully he takes the drawing to his table, pulling the hoodie over me and helping to pull my hair out from under it so that instead it drips over the fabric.

'What if I wanted you to lick my asshole, would you do that?'

The suddenness of his laughter makes me jump, perhaps because he's turned around while I pull on his shorts but I'm relieved to find he's not mad at me.

'During sex?' He guesses and I nod. 'If you'd like?'

'Alright what if I wanted you to suck my toes?'

'Sure?' He supposes, laughing.

'What if I wanted you to fuck me in the ass after sucking my toes?'

'What for?' He asks, hiding his chuckle as he moves to turn off the light. I suspect he must pick up my towel and fold it to the side because he takes a few minutes before climbing next to me on the bed. Perhaps I should be disappointed he's still dressed but I'm actually not surprised. What I'm surprised about is the fact that he's letting me cuddle up to him despite it.

'What if that's the only way I could come?'

'Fine?' He agrees, smirking. The grin on his features suggests he wants to correct me considering he knows what I need to come nevertheless I love his selflessness.

'What if-'

'Es, regardless of what it is I'm going to want to make you happy, and satisfy you at the very least.' He murmurs, shaking his head. 'You can suppose that my answers are pretty much a guaranteed yes.'

'What if I wanted to fuck you in the ass?'

'What is your obsession with asses tonight?'

He's laughing again, feigning exhaustion because he can't handle the topic of conversation while keeping his hands off me, I'm sure. Okay that's not a guarantee but it's what I'm hoping. As for the ass questions, I'm not really into sticking things where they shouldn't go. Admittedly I wasn't really into sticking things many places until Cullen came along. Sure. I did it. Of course I did it. It's the only way to get a bit of self-worth, isn't it? To prove you know what you're doing. To get people to like you, to make your body feel good and stuff? Knowing its good and feeling how it's good are two separate things and I'm only just coming to understand the second half. Regardless of it, I don't think I've known starvation until three weeks ago. Not just starvation for sex but maybe just Cullen in general.

Maybe it's just him.

'I'm testing your theory.' I say honestly, clenching and unclenching my hand and in the process, accidentally undoing one of his shirt buttons. Either he's testing my resilience or he hasn't noticed because he stays with his arm around me, chin turned towards the ceiling with his eyes closed.

'Then I guess?'

'Bondage? Would you let me tie you up?'

'You've already done it, my Love.' He reminds me and my giggle is full of mischief.

'Would you watch porn with me?'

'If I've already watched it for you, you may assume I will watch it with you.' He whispers, his laugh gentle.

'Spanking?' I ask. He hesitates, hinting towards the negative. 'If it's the only way I could get off?'

'If you wanted it, I would try it but the thought of hurting you isn't exactly thrilling. Is that a compromise?' He offers, sounding far more mature than my pathetic mouth. It's a clever and thoughtful answer, one that I should pause on but I can't.

'How about role play? Would you do that?' He laughs with me, shaking his head in disbelief, his hand comfortable on my spine while I stroke the buttons of his shirt. 'Think about it. We could play doctor. You could give me an internal examination?' I suggest, raising an eyebrow.

'I've already done so.'

'It wouldn't have to be doctor and patient. I'm sure I could buy a slutty nurses outfit if that's what you're into?'

He groans, trying to conceal his amusement. 'I'm into you.'

'So is that a no to role-play?' I ask, watching him.

'Whatever you'd like, My Dear. When you're sober.'

'What if I wanted you to come in my ears?'

'Goodnight, Esme…'

'Wait!' I beg, childishly, pulling myself even closer to him. 'What about bodily fluids?'

'If you're asking what I think you're asking then I am most certainly drawing a line under that?'

'Aww, no Golden showers?' Not that I wanted them anyway, I'm just desperate to find his disgust.

'Goodnight.' He repeats, amused.

So I give in and nestle my head to sleep but he very delicately kisses my lips and pulls the duvet over me until he can be sure I'm comfortable. There's no doubt about it that he does his best to read a little more, which I'm assuming is just him packing a last few attempts at studying but he doesn't disturb me once through the night. Not even when he's changing into something more comfortable, he just lets me sleep in his arms without a problem.

The guilt takes over the moment I awake the next morning and I have to try and remember when one glass of wine became a bottle. There's no answer. So I try to think even further back to when a glass of wine was literally just one glass and I don't have an example.

Not one.