I was worried that I would forget today, but here it is... Today marked the end of term three and the end of my stint teaching my year 5/6 class - I'll be going back to my old school next term, so it's been a pretty emotional day for me... Thanks everyone for all of their thoughts and comments, it is always appreciated.

My guest reviewer Alex - you were my 100th review (which I cannot believe by the way. You guys are so awesome - thank you so much for this). Alex if you want to PM me or DM on Twitter and ask a question about the story or for something else, I will do my best to accommodate you... I haven't worked out all the details of the story though

Week 11

~ Candidate is about the size of a lime ~

"Natalie!" Gabby greeted as the young doctor sat herself down at the bar in Molly's the night after Gabby had finished a shift at the house. "We don't see you much in here… What can I get for you? Red wine?"

"You know what? I will have a wine… First time out in a while, why not?" Natalie nodded as she kept talking, "My mother-in-law offered to take Owen and told me to leave the house. I can't remember the last time that I was able to actually get out of the house at night, even if it is only 6pm. And then Maggie and April insisted that I come out for a drink," she finished.

Gabby gave her a sly smile as she placed the glass in front of Natalie, "And then dinner with Will?"

Natalie's eyebrows raised in surprise, before shaking her head slightly, "You've been talking to Maggie? Or to Erin and Jay?" she accused playfully.

"Erin may have mentioned it when she was in last week. Just that something might be in the air…"

"Nothing is happening," Natalie informed her, taking a sip of her wine, her eyes downcast.

"And why not?" Gabby gently teased, tossing the cloth in her hand over at Otis, motioning that she was taking time out to catch up with Natalie. It wasn't often that Doctor Manning came in, and whilst Gabby wasn't as friendly with Natalie as she was with Lindsay, April or even Maggie, she could see the confusion in her eyes. Just as Second Watch at House 51 were a tight bunch of friends, Gabby could say the same thing about the Med team. Gabby only knew the bare bones of what had happened in Natalie's life, and she wasn't going to pry anymore into it, not without Natalie willingly offering it. Yet, she was still going to be a friend, the best way she could, and just listen.

"It's just too complicated. He's the attending in the ER, technically he pretty much my boss. Well at least, he's superior to me, and it's just not a good setup for any relationship… Erin, of all of the people, should be able to understand that," Natalie huffed, taking a rather large gulp of wine. "Even if Jay isn't her superior," she muttered under her breath.

Gabby looked across the bar to find Matt at the other end of the room, having a drink with Kelly and Antonio. Smiling to herself slightly, Gabby placed her hands on over Natalie's clenched ones, before starting to speak softly, "But I've been there Nat... Matt and I worked side by side before we were together. He was my lieutenant for a while, even when we were engaged the first time. Was it okay? No, it definitely was not allowed. It even tore us apart, but looking back on everything that happened, while there are things that I would change, I do not regret any time that I have had with Matt…" she turned to shoot Matt a loving smile. Natalie followed her gaze to find Matt locking eyes with his wife. It pushed her back to imagining a simpler time when she was still married, everything with Jeff seemed perfect. And how everything could be so different now, just her, Jeff and Owen…

The dulcet tones of Gabby's soft voice brought her back to the present, "I fell in love with his smile and how he looked after everyone in his own way - he will defend his men and women even at the risk of his own career. There is no one more caring in the house than him, you just need to crack through his 'tough' lieutenant exterior… And Natalie, it wasn't easy. I'll be the first to tell you that Matt and I haven't had the easiest road. And I'm not kidding myself, I know we're going to have numerous bumpy parts ahead of us too." Pausing, Gabby found herself a bottle of water feeling the need to keep herself hydrated. "I once said to Lindsay that those risks that bring you together end up weighing too much for anything long term," Gabby placed her bottle on the bar, making her way around to take a seat next to Natalie. "But Natalie, looking back at the timing of that conversation, the situation that I was in? Matt and I weren't in a good place then."

"But you got through it…" commented Natalie sadly, her eyes darting between Matt and Gabby, even she was able to sense the incredible bond that the two Caseys shared, it was so clear to anyone around them here at Molly's.

Gabby watched her for a moment, before grabbing on to Natalie's shoulder causing Natalie to look her in the eye, "It took a long time to get us to where we are now, including a very very messy breakup and we still had to work together through it all. And it was a very uncomfortable time for not only us but everyone we worked with at the house."

Natalie made a slight face as she continued to sip her wine, considering the words that Gabby had spoken, Natalie had always struggled with whatever it was she had felt for Will Halstead. There was that one kiss, what was it now, a few years ago? And Will had stepped back and understood her reluctance to get involved in a relationship with all of the baggage that she came with. There was even that flirtation that she and Jeff Clarke had shared whilst he had completed his med school rotation at Med, but nothing was ever going to come of it. Her two Jeffs were much too close, and as much as she had enjoyed Jeff's company she would never be able to think of him as anything more than simply a friend.

"You know, Will took a step back a while ago?" she murmured, almost as if it was only information for herself. Gabby sat back slightly, just letting Natalie open up for herself. "Actually twice, just after Owen was born. And I understood that I was still hanging on to the memory of Jeff. I hadn't let go of my dead husband - and no man should ever have to deal with that… I wasn't ready to let go Gabby, but I was eventually ready to move on. Not forget about Jeff, but I can't keep living my life holding onto a ghost," she paused as she looked down at her bare hands, her fingers running over that empty left ring finger, holding a gasp in. "Then I thought we were back into our friendship, all over a year ago, and he's still pushing me away. Whatever I thought was there Gabby, I don't know what he wants… For all I know, he doesn't want anything to do with me…"

"And how will you ever know, if you don't speak to him? ...In between all the chaos and destruction, Matt was there for me. We lost our way for a while, but he was there for me, even when I pushed him away," Gabby honestly spoke out whilst looking down at the rings on her left hand, playing with the diamond of her engagement ring. "Erin is right when she tells you that she knows what it is that brings us together, that shared interest, the common bond and an almost complete understanding of what the other is going through. I'm not saying that you need to have that shared bond to make it work. You know that Nat, your relationship, your marriage - a perfect example of a relationship working. But still, walking a mile in each other's shoes..." Gabby took a deep breathe thinking about what they went through every shift and what she really wanted to say to Natalie. "I understand more of what Matt goes through every shift because I've run into a burning building, ones that were ready to collapse, glued to his hip. I watched him make those hard decisions that only a lieutenant could make. And I became the one person who he could debrief with at the end of the day. The one that he trusted, that he could say anything to without being judged, and one who understood him. But it wasn't always that way, we had to work at that type of relationship Nat."

"Gabby," Natalie raised an eyebrow in her direction, "it's not that Will and I go through this life and death situation that you and Matt, or even Erin and Jay go through every shift. I know that I can go to work, every shift and know almost without a doubt that I will be coming home safe and sound to Owen. Yes, there might be a death or two, but I know for certain that it's not going to be me or even Will… It's not something that I can even compare to you and Erin… It's just not the same," she tried to convince Gabby, her voice sounding that she was trying to convince herself that it wasn't going to be the same.

"It doesn't make a difference," Gabby insisted. "We never know what is going to happen in life. When I started at Firehouse 51 so many years ago and I laid eyes on Matt Casey, I would never have known that I would be here, expecting his baby soon… Natalie, none of us know what the future holds. Like Matt once told me, that's why they call it the future. So you and Will don't have the life and death situation thing going on for you that Lindsay and Jay have. But do you want Will or is it actually Jay you're after?"

Natalie actually laughed at the thought of having any sort of relationship with the older Halstead brother. But if she was honest, she was jealous of what Erin and Jay had, it was clear to her that Jay knew what he wanted and had gone after it. "Don't do that," Gabby warned, "Don't think that Lindsay and Jay have it all, that they have it all worked out. I don't know what Will or even Lindsay may have told you, but they haven't had the easiest road either. And from what I know of Jay, he's a pretty private person." Natalie gave her a questioning look, but Gabby wouldn't give her anything more. "And I'm supposing that it's a Halstead male thing, don't talk about anything…. I'm beginning to think it's actually a Chicago male thing…" she chuckled.

"It's a push-pull thing with Will. He'll invite me in and then push me away," Natalie confessed. In the back of her mind, she was wondering about Gabby's comment about Jay. She knew that this was the local for District 21 and that her older brother worked with them, but it seemed as if Gabby had a more intimate understanding of Jay than she was actually letting on. Nevertheless, she figured it was none of her business and this was about her and Will. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation…"

"Have you thought about just talking to him?" Gabby asked as if it was the most common sense thing in the world.

"I'm telling you Gabby, he is feeling very antagonistic towards me!" she insisted.

Gabby fought the urge to roll her eyes. She wondered to herself whether or not it would be ethically okay to lock Will and Natalie in a room together and not let them out until they had worked it out. She was thinking that she wouldn't let them out if they couldn't get it together, more likely just keep them in a room until they had at least sorted out their lack of communication issues. She couldn't figure out how they could even be working together smoothly if they didn't ever really talk. Upon Natalie's clearing of her throat, Gabby looked up sheepishly, not too sure if she had missed anything else after the antagonistic comment.

"But how do you know that Natalie?" Gabby questioned. Without waiting for an answer, Gabby ploughed on anyway, "How do you know that that is what he is feeling or thinking about you? Have you asked him? Or are you just assuming that you know what he's thinking?" she probed.

"Will, in so many ways, has one of the most assertive personalities in the ED. It's what makes him a great attending. I can't see why he would be harbouring any feelings for me, at least not any secret ones. It's just not in his personality…" she trailed off, looking straight ahead into the bottles.

Gabby glanced around Molly's for a few seconds, noticing that neither April or Maggie had arrived yet. Leaving Natalie sitting there with her own thoughts for a few moments, Gabby refilled Nat's wine glass and went over to hug Matt. "I just need this," she whispered into his ear before returning to the stool that she had previously occupied.

"Ask yourself, is this something that you want? Push everything aside Nat," Gabby stared her right in the eye, "Rid your mind of the job, Owen, any fears you might have, the fact that he works with you…" Natalie placed her glass down, her fingers absentmindedly running across the top of the glass as she closed her eyes to think about what Gabby had told her. Gabby, in turn, watched as a myriad of emotions washed over Nat's face unable to truly decipher what it was that she was feeling.

"I want to see where it goes with him," she finally gave up, a tear running down her cheek.

"Then what are you waiting for? You're willing to give up what is very possibly going to be a chance at happiness for the slight chance that you might be rejected? I know you're scared, especially with Owen in the picture, you need to do whatever it takes to protect your son Nat. And I can't claim to understand that, but what about you? From what I see of Will, Nat, I think he's running scared. He doesn't know if you want him or not…"

Natalie gave her a watery smile, determined not to let the tears fall, "Yeah?" she questioned before nodding her head, "Yeah, I'm going to give this is a go," her smile becoming stronger with each passing tick of the clock. "Yeah!" she gave her head a strong final nod. "Right," she stated, her fingers wiping away the last few tears that were pooled in her eyes whilst sniffing gently and then giving Gabby a wide smile, "...Enough about me. What about you and this baby?"

"Shh!" Gabby's eyes darted around to see if anyone had heard their conversation. "They don't know yet…" Natalie wore a confused expression on her face at the comment, she thought that it would have been common knowledge by now, especially in the seemingly dangerous line of Gabby's profession. "I can't go through the sympathetic faces and words again if something goes wrong," Gabby responded. Seeing Natalie open her mouth, she quickly continued, "Yes I know, there isn't any reason at all to think that anything will go wrong, but Will did mention that there is always a higher chance of another ectopic after the first… Yes I know, it's in the right spot this time, but I really don't want to say anything to anyone until we've passed the 12 week mark."

"And you're allowed to work?" skepticism evident in Natalie's question.

Gabby nodded her head, "We let Chief Boden in on the secret just after we found out, but we just weren't willing, or I wasn't willing to tell everyone about it just yet. What is on my side, this time, is the CFD policy… A pregnant woman can't serve on an active fire truck, they are to be transferred, either to Ambo or a desk job," Gabby grinned widely. "I'm already on Ambo, so I can still work at 51 without needing to tell anyone just yet!"

Giving her a gentle smile, Natalie thought carefully about what she was pondering, "I've seen you firefighters at the hospital, coming in together, supporting each other. How are you keeping it hush-hush?"

"Matt's really good at sneaking decaf coffee for me," Gabby grinned. "And apart from the slightly tighter pants, I seem to be going okay at the house."

"So duck is going well? No major issues or concerns?"

Gabby raised an eyebrow, "Duck?"

Natalie shrugged, "It's a good as anything else, limited to time to think of something too," she looked like the Cheshire cat.

"Yeah, everything is good. It's been fairly smooth sailing apart from the incident that landed me in with you last week, which was nothing in the end. Everything is like a dream…" she trailed off. "I mean the fatigue is absolutely killing me. I think if anything is hard to hide, it's how tired I am. It's like candidate pushes a button in my brain around 8 at night, and I'm instantly tired…"

"Oh, I remember that well. For me, I was exhausted by 6:30. I fell asleep when I was call one night, and the dead wouldn't have been able to wake me that night," Natalie reminisced. "I ended up having to ask Goodwin for shorter shifts and to be rostered on for day shifts, 6:30 was ridiculously early. So I really don't know how it is you are managing those 24 hour shifts."

Gabby tapped her fingers lightly on her upper thighs, "It's an adrenaline rush every call out we get, it keeps me going. According to CFD, we are free to sleep anytime after 8:30 at night, but I'm usually in my bunk doing some sort of paperwork well before then," she explained. Lowering her voice, she brought her head slightly closer. "I could do without the crazy dry skin though, I feel like the skin on my hands, especially my finger joints, is cracking. I'm waiting for the day they actually start bleeding," she joked.

"Next time you're in Med, pop in and I'll get you some Aquaphor cream. I still swear by it, constantly needing to use it. Between washing my hands at work and then at home, my skin is so dry… Just something for you to look forward to," she teased. "And all the rest of the symptoms? All there?"

"Mildly," confessed Gabby, forever grateful that nothing had hit her too badly, may be she was just one of the lucky ones.

"Oh, I could have done without the constant need to pee. Looking back on it, I think that was the first sign that allowed me to even think I was pregnant." Gabby nodded along with her, thinking over the previous weeks and that still constant need to pee… All the time! "I think the only other symptom that I could have really lived without was the morning sickness, for the first fifteen weeks of my pregnancy I was nauseated all day, every day. It was an experience that I would never wish on my worst enemy."

Natalie looked over as Gabby gave a slight light laugh, a questioning look adorning her face. "So I'm one of those horrible people that you're going to hate?" Gabby questioned lightly. "No morning sickness, eleven weeks in… no morning sickness or even nausea… Don't hate me," she laughed. "I'm still not loving the heightened smelling, especially when the boys come back after a rescue or Cruz tries to cook, but it's a better payoff than actually throwing up constantly." Natalie nodded in agreement.

Opening her mouth to reply, Natalie stopped short when she noticed the nurses from Med tumbling through the door, loud laughter spilling out of both of the girls. Gabby followed her gaze, smiling at the pair as they made their way over to the end of the bar.

"Gabby!" Maggie greeted her, "What's this about girl?" she questioned waving the plastic drink bottle around. Gabby swiped at it, trying to get it back.

"You know what it's like after a crazy shift at work," Gabby tried to play it off, April catching her eye and nodding along. Poor Maggie was the only one left out of the secret. "Do you remember how many time I rolled into your ER last shift? I think I stopped counting after the first 15 times… in just 24 hours."

"So girl, you going to stay for a drink with us Gabs?" April asked. "Surely water counts as a drink," she finished as she slung her arm around the paramedic's shoulders. Looking back and forth, exchanging a glance with Natalie, Gabby slowly shook her head.

"Nah, I'm going to head out and spend some time with that hot lieutenant over there… See if I can get lucky," she joked, pointing in Matt's direction.

The girls laughed along with her. "Damn girl, I wouldn't be staying out if I have something like that to go home to either," Maggie confirmed. Gabby pushed her shoulder slightly in jest as the girls farewelled her.

Natalie pulled Gabby in for a hug, before softly speaking, "Thanks for the pep talk. And if there's anything with ducky, let me know. I'm happy to just be an ear," she mentioned before wandering off with the two nurses. Gabby, in turn, gave her shoulder a squeeze in reply as thanks.

Gabby pulled up a seat next to Matt, running a finger over his wedding band, "What do you say we get out of here? Sure no one would notice," she whispered into his ear. Matt pulled back to give her a slight 'huh' look, then looked quickly around, to find all of their friends involved in their own conversations. Raising his eyebrows at her, he tossed some money onto the table and pulled her close to him, placing his hand on the small of her back, placing some pressure on to guide her out of the noisy bar. Gabby didn't even bother telling Otis she was cutting out early, figuring that they wouldn't mind too much.

It was around lunchtime the day after a shift that morning sickness finally hit Gabby. 11 weeks into her pregnancy and she had experienced every other pregnancy symptom so far, from the constant fatigue to the rollercoaster of feelings. But like she had said to Natalie previously, she had escaped this one so far, she had even gloated about it to Matt the previous week too.

Spoken too soon it had seemed.

Matt was out on a construction job that morning. Whilst he had slowed down, and between their two jobs, even without him drawing his alderman's pay, they were fairly comfortable. It had been helped when she had moved back to the PIC position, bolstering her income somewhat. And as she had said to Matt, mere moments after he had slipped the wedding ring to its rightful place, 'what's yours is mine and what's mine is my own' with a massive smile on her face. Joking aside, they weren't necessarily wanting for money, but still, Matt enjoyed working with his hands. And they never knew what tomorrow might hold in their line of work, never going to work thinking it might be the last time that they were able to run into burning buildings, but it never hurt to have a back-up. So out he was, fixing someone's door.

Gabby had spent the morning tidying around the house and trying to balance the books for Molly's for the previous month. Her problem had been trying to find all of her own paperwork in their office. She could never figure out how it was that Matt was completely on top of his paperwork and organised at the firehouse, yet in their own home, in the study, she wasn't able to separate her work from the mess that was his. She was seriously contemplating turning the bedroom on the lower level into her office. Or maybe she could just kick him downstairs. In the end, she had huffed and shoved it all into a drawer, leaving it for him to sort out… May be she could gather it all up and leave it at the firehouse.

Not long after she had finished her light lunch, she had started to feel woozy. Knowing that she had made sure she had drunk plenty of water last night, she wondered what exactly it was that was making her feel this way, it didn't even occur to her that it was morning sickness.

By the time she made her way up to her bedroom she was decidedly nauseated. It was more horrible than the worst hangover she had ever felt, this was not boding well for her at all. There was this strange, uncomfortable feeling forming at the pit of her stomach, much worse than the first time she had turned up her nose at Matt's coffee weeks ago. She wasn't able to make it to her bed to lie down before she had to turn on her heel to rush towards the bathroom.

She barely had enough time to throw open the door to the restroom before emptying the contents of her stomach. Moments later, she was gagging at the thought of what was happening. And the process would start again. Gabby became unaware of time, she only knew the cycle was seeming to never let up.

In the meantime Matt had entered the house, finding the house strangely quiet. Generally, if he came home mid-afternoon he would find Gabby bouncing around in the kitchen, generally preparing dinner. Pregnancy was suiting Gabby, she had a glow about her and during the day plenty of energy. Matt had never seen the house so clean than in the last few weeks. But today, she wasn't around.

Starting up the stairs, a sound caught his ears, causing him to pause and strain to hear whatever it was. Retching, he was sure that's what it was he was hearing. 'Gabby,' he thought, starting to rush up the remaining stairs. The bathroom door was closed, Matt closed his hand around the handle hoping that she hadn't locked it. It wouldn't have surprised him if it was, Gabby never liked to show any weakness to anyone, even him. It was the number one issue that they knew they shared and over the recent course of their relationship, something they had begun to work on. Fortunately for him, the door swung open under his hand.

"Gabs?" he called out. Looking towards the small enclosed restroom he found Gabby still emptying her stomach. Only by now Gabby found she had completely emptied her stomach of food and all that was left was bile, even still she found the ability to push Matt back, not allowing him to come too close. Carefully he manoeuvred himself behind her, placing a comforting hand on her forehead, holding her head up slightly.

Gabby groaned as she finally managed to stop vomiting, easing herself back onto her heels. Matt darted out to find a small washcloth to wash off her face and neck. Before he managed to get back to her, she had dragged herself out into the main section of the bathroom and laid her head on the cooling tiles of the bathtub, finding that their cooling effect was easing the pounding headache she had developed.

"Make a fist, pound on the door! It's called knocking Matthew," Gabby complained as she lifted her head off the bathtub. Matt shot her a sympathetic look as he knelt down, brushing the stray hairs off her sweaty brow.

"Morning sickness," she exclaimed in disgust, "Whoever decided to call it that, must have been a male. It's not the most accurate term for it," she pondered as Matt helped her off the bathroom floor and into their bedroom after she was able to freshen up.

"I did read that women who experience morning sickness are less likely to have a miscarriage than those who don't," Matt commented as he looked around for a blanket, missing the weirded out look that Gabby shot in his direction. Since when did Matt know so much about the pregnancy, especially as this was the first time, well sort-of, Gabby told herself. She didn't have time to open her mouth before Matt had disappeared out.

Gabby gulped in a deep breath as she tried to calm the nausea she was still feeling. Rubbing a gentle hand over her small pudge, she looked down giving it a stern look, "Now you stop that Smudge," she gentled reprimanded. Breathing in deeply a few more times, Gabby pushed herself off of the couch in search of some looser clothing. She delved into Matt's closet, looking for the biggest t-shirt she could find.

Running her hands through the old firefighting shirts, her fingers brushed against Matt's old candidate shirt. It was old and well broken in, exactly what she wanted right now. Her own clothes just felt a slight snug, only a bit constricting. Whilst in reality her clothes still fit her perfectly, she wanted something else. Discarding her own clothes, she pulled his shirt over her own head, taking in the scent that she would forever associate with Matt, even though he hadn't worn it in many many years. Padding into her own side, she pulled on a pair of comfy yoga pants, rolling down the waistband slightly.

By the time Matt arrived back, Gabby had made herself comfortable in bed, pillows surrounding her, sitting upright in the middle of the bed. "What have you got there Matt?" she asked curiously, craning her neck slightly.

"Dry crackers and some weak tea," he answered passing the items over, before placing an extra bottle of water on her bedside table, taking a seat next to her.

"How is it that you know all of this Matt Casey?" she prodded. Matt looked sheepish, before leaning over her gently, trying with all of his might not to place any pressure on her body. Stretching just a few more inches, he managed to pull a book out of the drawer. Gabby had to hold back a gale of laughter when she saw that Matt was holding up a book entitled Dad's Pregnant Too! Matt glared at her slightly as a mirth of laughter escaped from her lips. "Don't laugh Gabriela, it helped you."

Gabby took the book from him, flicking through the contents, giggling ever so often as parts of the text caught her eye. She lightly whacked his shoulder with said book, "Only you Matt… Only you would take the time to read about what is going on with us… thank you Babe," she acknowledged, pressing a kiss onto his cheek. Matt leant in closer, tangling his fingers through her hair and moving to find her lips and deepening the kiss.

Matt lay down, resting his head on her outstretched legs, his warm hand pressed against her tummy. A moment or two later, he pushed the shirt up and began to pepper her skin with tiny kisses. "Hold on," his head popping up, pulling himself into a seated position. "This is mine," he accused, his fingers tugging on the hem of the shirt she wore. "I haven't seen this in years," he mused, thinking back to his time as a candidate, in what seemed like a lifetime ago. There were so many things in life that had changed.

"It was in the back of the closet. I wanted something relaxed and this fit the bill perfectly," she retorted, pushing his hands away from where he was trying to remove the shirt from her body.

"And I think it looks better on you," he growled lowly, attacking her neck, pulling her further down the bed.

~ His body is straightening out and the torso is lengthening. Hair follicles are forming, and fingernail and toenail beds are beginning to develop ~