The pain was irritable; it was within my grasp yet I had no control over it. Child birth was a horrible experience but knowing you would have a babe at the end eased some of that pain. At the end of this I would be able to hold my babe within my arms; I would be a mother.
Robb was by my side holding onto my hand, only winching every now and then when I squeezed harder with every sharp pain. Robb hissed in pain as I pressed his fingers together and a small crunching noise was heard. I glared over at him just daring him to say something; it was his fault he was in pain, he should deal with it.
"Hell Evie could you not loosen your grip." He moaned attempting to pull his hand from my own. At his action I squeezed harder hoping he wouldn't be able to pull his hand free.
"Robb Stark if you dare speak I will break your hand! If you don't want me hurting you think about the next time you want to have sex!" I spat giving him a terrifying – or a look that looked terrifying – look before crying out in pain as the strongest and most raw pain pierced though me. The pain went on for a few tender minutes and then the chamber was filled with a shaky, new cry.
At the signal of my babe I dropped back into the pillows and allowed the tears to stream down my cheeks as I caught my breath and stared at the babe held within Lily's arms. Robb's hands cupped my cheeks as he pressed a long passionate kiss upon my lips before pulling back and resting his head against mine.
"You did it Evie; you brought our boy into the world." He whispered running his fingers down my cheeks before pulling away and looking over at the babe. My eyes widened at his words and I searched for the babe.
"A boy?" I asked looking over at Lily for confirmation; her nod was all I needed to see before I was overcome with tears. Robb had been right; the babe was a boy. I reached out for the babe as Lily got closer, but froze when I looked up into the once familiar face of Lily and cried out when Cersie Lannister's face replaced it. She sneered down at me pulling the babe out of my reach as she brought one hand up and twisted his head.
The crunching sound of my son's neck echoed in my ears, draining away the blood in my face and breaking my heart. This woman was going to take away my family just like my husband had done to hers.
"You will never get to hold your child." She spat dropping him to the ground before throwing herself forward as she raised a dagger. The sharp, hot steel drove through my heart before Robb could stop her.
I woke with a cry clutching my chest over my heart as if the dagger had burned through my skin. The dream was realistic and it even felt real; so real I thought Cersie had killed my babe. I ran my hand down from my chest and rested over the bump where the babe was kicking furiously.
"What's wrong Evie?" Robb asked as he pulled himself up into a sitting position and ran his finger though his hair. Although we hadn't really spoke in the last two days he was still there in the way a husband should be; he still loved me. His hand rested on my bump and he frowned as he felt the sharp kicks his child was sending.
"It was just a dream Robb." I whispered clinging onto his hand as he tried to pull it away; I needed to be close to him. Robb seemed to understand this and pulled me into his arms resting my head against his bare chest; the beating of his heart soother me as I closed my eyes.
"It was another bad dream wasn't it?" he questioned stroking his hand through my hair while his other hand rested on my bump. I nodded against his chest sighing deeply at the thought of the horrid dream again. "I won't let anything happen to you Evie; never."
GOTGOTGOTGOT
Arya and Sansa found me in the library later that day; I had somewhat been avoiding all the Stark's and keeping myself busy packing my belongings and informing Lily and Osha that they will be joining me back to Winterfell. I was aware of their arrival of the two Stark girls by Arya's fierce voice.
"You're leaving!" she shouted ignoring the look Sansa shot her; Arya Stark was one of a kind and nothing would change that. I looked up from the stack of books I had placed on the table; books Edmure had allowed me to take to Winterfell.
"Yes." I simple answered placing two more books in the table as Gendry came round the corner with three more books within his arms. A was taking a large collection of books home with me; a few of them were books that Bran had been interested in reading. Catelyn was return to Winterfell with me along with Bran and Rickon, but she was going to let the girls decided whether or not they wanted to stay.
"Why? Why would you leave? Robb isn't going, so I don't understand why you are!" she cried out slamming her hands down on the table as she glared up at me. Arya it seemed had problems with people leaving her. Her eyes flashed towards Gendry and she frowned over at him as well. "Are you leaving as well?"
"I'm to follow my queen to Winterfell; I am here guard Arya." He replied placing the books down on the table as he stared up at the girl. I could tell that Arya was about to make some big deal about everyone leaving her and how she wasn't going to have it, so I quickly opened my mouth before she could unleash any horrors on Gendry.
"Arya I want you to come back with me." I fired at her before her words could slip out. I glanced over at Sansa and gave her a soft smile as well. "I want you all to come back with me. Your mother and the boys are returning with me, but I want you both to come as well." I told them as I pulled out a seat and dropped down into it. This babe was getting bigger and my back was aching more often; I could only hope that the babe decided to come early.
"I would love to; home is the place I want to be now." Sansa muttered smiling softly at me and it looked like she really wanted to go home. Considering she had been away from her home for a near year; she was bound to want to return.
"You should pack your things Sansa; we leave in the morning." I told her pushing a pile of books toward Gendry. "Could you take these to my chamber Gendry; they need to be packed." I asked the young man and watched as he lifted the books into his arms and left me alone with my youngest good-sister. We both looked at each other, her blue eyes staring – well more like glaring – into my green ones.
"Why are you doing this?" Arya whined quietly as if I was breaking her heart; she wasn't Robb she shouldn't feel that way. I walked around the table ignoring the pain that shot through my stomach as I moved and paused right in front of her. I lifted her chin up and brought my other hand to cup her cheek.
"There are things that you have to do sometimes Arya; things that may not make sense." I smiled softly at her as I brought her against my chest hugging her to me as I saw the tears shining in her eyes. "When you get older you will understand. I love Robb; he knows that and I know that. I believe that what I'm doing won't change the feelings between us; but he needs to understand that I'm about to have a babe. I feel uncomfortable here Arya; I don't want to have the babe this far South. My babe is the heir to the North and Winterfell; he should be born in the North, in his home." I whispered to her as she brought her arms around me clinging to me as if I was her mother and she was a young scared child.
"But why are you leaving him here?" she mumbled keeping her face down so I wouldn't be able to see her eyes. For some reason my mind went to Ned leaving Catelyn; did she think it was the same? Was my leaving Robb reminding her of her father leaving her mother?
"Robb has a duty to his people Arya; he's their King he can't leave them." I told her repeating the words he had uttered to me two days before. If he believed his own words and he spoke them to me then who was I to judge him? I only wanted him to be there for the birth of his first child; was that so wrong?
"You're his wife," she stated pulling out of my arms and giving me a pointed look before continuing on. "Don't you have a duty to him? Shouldn't you stay by his side until he returns to Winterfell?" Arya was a wise girl for her age, yet there was something's that she would never be able to understand until she had felt or seen them herself. I sighed and took her hand as I led her to a bench placed close by and pulled her down to perch with me.
"I don't want to be here anymore Arya; I can't be here anymore." I told her hoping she would hear the pain in my voice and allow me to leave without her brother.
"What's wrong with this place?" Arya asked frowning at my words; she was under the impression that I enjoyed it here. I gave her a painful smile as I turned over her hand and smoothed it out; I ran my fingers over the lines gently.
"There is nothing wrong with Riverrun Arya; I love it here." I looked up and caught her blue eyes looking interested in what I was saying and closed my eyes as I continued on explaining my dislike for Riverrun at the moment. "I've been having these dreams about the babe's birth; I'm always at Riverrun. Before I get the chance to hold him Cersie Lannister appears and kills him." I opened my eyes and notice the pain shining in Arya's. I squeeze her hand softly and give her a sad smile before looking down at my large bump; my babe. "I don't want my dreams to come true Arya; I can't be here when the babes born."
"I won't be here either." She stated squeezing my hand back in a comforting manner. I looked up at her face and saw the small smile she was sending toward me. "You need me Evie and I'll follow you to Winterfell." She promised bring a sincere, content smile to my face replacing the sad one.
GOTGOTGOTGOT
"You don't have to leave Evie; nothing will hurt you here." Robb expressed grabbing hold of my hands as I reached out to pull on my fitting red dress. I looked up into Robb's blue eyes seeing the pain and hurt in them; I didn't want to hurt him but he didn't understand why I wanted to leave. I knew how he felt; the pain was hurting me just as much as it was him.
"Robb I have to leave; I trust you but I have to leave." I whispered tugging my hands out of his grip and struggling into my dress. I avoided his eyes as I tied the laces over my breasts; I could feel his emotions burning off of him. "I can't be here Robb, it's not because of you; it's my dreams." I was hoping he would know what I was talking about, he knew that I've had a few dreams that have ended up true; the one about his father should be remembered.
"Your dreams are just dreams Evie; they won't come true." He mumbled pulling my hands away from my laces and holding them in within in his; it was a sweet gesture, but I wasn't in the mood. I glared up at him and attempted to pull away; he held on in his stubborn manner.
"I remember a time when I dreamt that your father died Robb; I woke up and found out it was real. Forgive me if I'm panicking about my child's safety!" I snapped pushing him away and watching as his face fell along with his hands. I hated seeing him in pain yet for some reason it was logical for me to be saying the things I was.
"Evie don't you leave me; don't take my child away." he begged reaching out for me and then dropping his hands as he thought it through. His eyes looked just as fearful as his voice sounded; I didn't want to have to do it but I knew I had to.
"I'm not taking your child away Robb; I gave you a chose. You want to stay here and I want to go home; don't blame me for your decisions." I looked up into his wide blue eyes ignoring the emotions shining as I gave him a tearful smile. "I love you Robb; remember that." I whispered before leaving him standing there as I left the chamber.
I was going home to Winterfell without my husband; without my Robb.