I don't own the Flash or any of its characters.

Trigger warning: Mentions suicidal thoughts and feelings as well as anxiety, and self-harming behaviours so if any of this is going to trigger you, please do not read.

A/N: Here is the fifth chapter… sorry for any mistakes and if you enjoy this chapter, please let me know!

Light streamed into Caitlin's bedroom through the crack in her curtains. Cisco blinked his eyes open slowly, gradually beginning to wake up from the best rest he had gotten in a while. He looked around groggily, trying to work out where he was. An arm was wrapped securely around him, which filled him with a sense of comfort. Looking at the arm he tried to identify the person, it was pale and cold, Caitlin. Memories of what had occurred the previous day flooded his mind, and he felt his heart sink into his stomach. He had burdened her with his problems even though she had so much to deal with herself. Maybe if he just crept away quietly, she wouldn't notice and when she woke up, she wouldn't bother coming to find him, he tried to convince himself. He carefully extracted himself out of the doctor's hold, instantly missing the contact, but powering on. He slipped out from under the cover and stepped onto the wooden floor. He made it about three steps when he hit a creaky floorboard, "Cisco?" A voice questioned, it was rough with sleep and Cisco turned to see Caitlin looking at him with concern and confusion in his eyes,

"Um, I was…" he trailed of trying to think of a plausible excuse for his actions, "I was going to the bathroom," he told her with a little nod, as if confirming to himself that was where he was originally headed. Cisco watched as Caitlin raised a carefully shaped eyebrow and gave him a look that told him she did not believe him at all,

"Really?" she asked him, her tone was unimpressed,

"Um yeah?" it came out more like a question than an answer, Caitlin let out a sigh and patted the space in the bed next to her, where he been sleeping a few minutes ago,

"Come back to bed Cisco," she told him. Cisco shook his head, he didn't want to be a burden, this had been what he wanted to have someone there for him to care about him, but he felt like a problem, and he hated it,

"Cisco, come back to bed," she let him know he didn't really have a choice, but still he shook his head, subconsciously pushing her boundaries, testing how far he would have to push her to let him leave,

"Why not?" she asked trying another tactic, he just shrugged in response, "Cisco," she warned,

"I don't know okay!" he yelled at her, his whole body shaking with anxiety. Cautiously, Caitlin climbed out of the bed and made her way over to the man, she held her hand out, a peace offering. The scientist stared at the outstretched hand for a moment before breaking down into tears, silently Caitlin moved her hand away and turned to gently take a hold of his shoulders, guiding him back to her bed. When he had sat down, Caitlin climbed back in on the other side and pulled him into her side letting him cry for a moment.

When he had managed to calm himself down, Cisco went red and buried his head into Caitlin's shoulder, "Sorry," he mumbled, she reached up to run her hand through his hair soothingly,

"It's okay, I know this is a really hard time for you right now," she said, reassuring him that she was not angry in any way. Cisco nodded, his thoughts were so loud and the more guilt he felt the stronger the urge to end it was. But with Caitlin holding him close, her arms forming a protective boundary from the outside world, he felt safer and more confident than he had done in a while. He didn't like talking about his problems with other people but after he opened up to Cait last night he felt the urge to it again. He turned his head out from her shoulder but didn't pull away, having contact with her helping keep his confidence,

"Cait," he murmured, squirming a little where he sat,

"Hmm," she let him know she was listening,

"Um, I tried to leave because I felt like I was being a burden to you, and the more guilt I feel the more I want to die and that feeling is really high at the moment," he confessed rambling, his words all rushed and muddled together. He looked up at her, watching to see her reaction to see his words, she felt her heart break like the night before for the man, but seeing her watching him, she made sure that feeling didn't appear on her face, in case he interpreted it wrong, instead she gave him a soft smile,

"Well thank you for telling me, it means a lot that you feel you can trust me. I promise you that you are not being a burden to me Cisco, I want to help you, if I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now." She told him, hoping he was believing her words. Cisco nodded, but the doctor couldn't tell if he believed her. But when he cuddled closer to her and turned his head back into her shoulder, she felt better about it.

The two sat in silence for a while, finding peace in each other's company. They didn't say anything until Cisco began to squirm again, "Okay I actually have to use the bathroom this time," he said with a little laugh. Caitlin nodded and realised her hold on him,

"I should probably make some breakfast, you alright with waffles?" she asked him, shifting to get out of bed herself,

"Yeah, that's cool," he told her, climbing out of bed and heading into her bathroom. Caitlin smiled a little and headed into the kitchen, getting out the ingredients to make the waffles. In the bathroom, Cisco had just finished using the facilities, and was about to get changed when his eyes landed on Caitlin's razors. After admitting how he felt to Caitlin in bed earlier Cisco had felt a lot better, but he couldn't stop his eyes being drawn to the razors and he felt an overwhelming temptation to take one, just to have in case he needed it. He shook his head firmly trying to push those thoughts aside, he could feel his heart thumping in his chest, and he suddenly felt incredibly alone. Tears pricked in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall, instead he hurried out of the bathroom intending to find Caitlin, he wasn't comfortable being alone any longer. Caitlin looked up from where she was making the waffles when she heard Cisco entering her kitchen. She gave him a warm smile that turned into a frown when she saw the unshed tears in his eyes.

"Everything alright?" she asked him, concerning shining in her eyes. Cisco nodded, he was trying to be open and honest with her, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her that he didn't feel he could be alone for long enough to get changed without doing something he may regret. Caitlin accepted the answer, knowing that in the last twenty-four hours he had been through an incredible amount. She turned back to the waffle maker and opened it putting a waffle in his plate and one on her own, "Syrup?" she questioned holding out the bottle, once again, Cisco nodded in response and took the bottle from Cait's outstretched hand. He took a seat at the table, and squirted syrup all over his waffle, to the point that it was drenched in it. Caitlin laughed at his drowned waffle, before squirting a small amount of syrup onto her own waffle. The two ate in a content silence and when they had both finished Caitlin took the plates to the sink, "I'm going to take a shower, will you be okay for a little while?" she asked, Cisco was about to nod but sensing that this was a question the doctor would want a verbal answer to he answered her,

"Yes, I'll be fine," he told her. Caitlin raised an eyebrow giving him a firm look,

"Don't go anywhere," she instructed him. Cisco nodded,

"I won't," he confirmed his answer to her. The look in Caitlin's face softened and she spoke to him once more,

"If you need me, please do not hesitate to knock on the door, or come in if I don't respond, I'd rather have you come in, than struggle out here alone." Cisco shifted uncomfortably on his feet, he felt awkward about the suggestion of coming into the bathroom, but she said it was such kindness and seriousness that Cisco decided it must be okay. He nodded again, and seemingly satisfied Caitlin turned on her heel and headed into the bathroom.