I don't own the Flash or any of its characters.

Trigger warning: Mentions suicidal thoughts and feelings as well as anxiety, eating problems and self-harm so if any of this is going to trigger you, please do not read.

A/N: Here is the eleventh chapter my dudes! Their relaxing weekend has started, they deserve it don't you think? Sorry, for mistakes people proof-reading is not my thing and enjoy this chapter, if you like it drop a review :)

It was gone eleven when Cisco woke up the next morning, he groaned as he opened his eyes, the room was way to bright. Caitlin was sitting up on the bed next to him, she had clearly been awake for a for a while as she was dressed and ready for the day. However, she wasn't wearing any makeup and she was dressed casually in yoga pants and a loose jumper. She was reading a book, but when she heard Cisco stirring next to her, she marked her page and put the book down on the bedside table beside her, "Good morning," she said brightly, Cisco groaned again and rolled away from her, "Sorry, bit loud," she apologised,

"It's okay," Cisco sighed out and rolled back towards her, his head ended up resting in her lap, Caitlin smiled quietly down at him, and brought up a hand to run through his tangled hair, Cisco sighed happily at the contact, letting his eyes fall closed again. "What time is it?" he asked the doctor,

"Ten passed eleven," she told him,

"Oh," Cisco felt a little bit shocked; he couldn't remember the last time he had slept that long, "What time did you wake up?" He asked her another question,

"Around half nine," she responded, still running her hand gently through his hair,

"I thought we were sleeping in." Caitlin laughed a little,

"That is sleeping in for me, I'm usually up at seven,"

"Oh," Cisco said again. A comfortable silence fell across the room and Cisco took deep breathe, he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this peaceful, at the moment his head was quiet, and his mind was clear. It was a wonderful feeling. He changed positions slightly so he his head was in her lap, facing her stomach, instead of towards her legs, "Hi," he said quietly,

"Hi," Caitlin said laughing gently as she looked down at him.

"You make me feel safe," he confessed, Caitlin's heart swelled,

"I'm glad I make you feel safe Cisco, you deserve that." It was quiet again for a moment and then Cisco spoke again,

"Cait,"

"Hmm,"

"My arm hurts," he confessed, looking slightly embarrassed, but no where near the level he felt yesterday.

"Do you want me to look at it?" she asked carefully,

"Yes please,"

"Alright hon, come into the bathroom with me." The doctor moved to get up from the bed and Cisco did the same following her out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. Caitlin had him sit on the closed toilet lid and hold his arm out over the sink so she could get a good look at it. He rested his left wrist on the edge of the sink to keep it steady and watched as Caitlin quickly washed her hands and got out her first aid kit, she pulled out some gloves and carefully unwrapped the bandages. The burns had blistered quite badly over the night, but all things considered, Caitlin thought it could have been a lot worse, so she was quite relieved. She wasn't not surprised, however, that Cisco was experiencing some discomfort. The burns were clearly quite painful, and Caitlin grabbed the Neosporin and addressed his wounds, before wrapping them back up. "You can take a couple more painkillers with breakfast that should help," she told him,

"Thanks," he responded, not quite able to meet her eye, the embarrassment of his self-harm being seen still present.

"How about you get changed and we can go and have a light breakfast, maybe some fruit again?" she suggested, Cisco nodded,

"You'll stay though, right?" he asked her,

"Of course, I was planning on studying the bedroom door this morning, I don't think I've ever given it a proper look," she joked and helped him to his feet, leading him back into the bedroom to get dressed.

Cisco was sitting on Caitlin's couch, watching an old friends episode, slowly making his way through a bowl of mixed berries that Catlin had handed him for breakfast. It wasn't a huge amount of food, just a few strawberries, blueberries and cherries, but still Cisco had to make his way through the food slowly, he seemed to be living with a permanent stomach-ache these days, maybe he should ask Caitlin about it? He decided against it at the present moment, deciding to focus on only one of his problems at a time. Caitlin had finished her breakfast a while ago and was curled up on a chair a little way away, reading the book that she had been looking at when Cisco had woken up that morning. When Cisco had finally finished his berries, he took the bowl over to the sink, washing it up quickly and placing it in the drying rack. Caitlin gave him a warm smile as he came back into the living room and resumed watching the television. Carefully, the doctor marked the page of her book and placed it down on the coffee table, then she moved to sit on the couch next to Cisco, she took the remote and put on the first Harry Potter movie, a favourite of both of theirs. Cisco smiled at her wordlessly and curled up into her side, relaxing when she draped an arm loosely around his shoulders and pulled a blanket over them both.

When the movie had finished, Caitlin decided that it was time to have the conversation about what happened yesterday. Cisco was now calm, relaxed and well rested and hey really had to talk about this. She shut of the television and shifted slightly so they were now facing each other, "Cisco," she started gently, the scientist felt his heart sink knowing what conversation was about to take place, "I need to talk to you about what happened yesterday." Cisco swallowed hard and nodded, knowing that this was a conversation they both needed to have, "But if this gets too hard at any point, tell me and we can take a break and do something else for a while, you just need to let me know alright?" Cisco nodded in confirmation. "Honey, how long have you been hurting yourself?" Caitlin started with what she hoped would be the easiest question,

"Um," Cisco shifted uncomfortably where he sat, Caitlin reached out and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, in an attempt to help him talk more openly, "I started a couple of days ago, I started out with light burns, I was holding my arm over my Bunsen burner until I couldn't take the pain anymore," he told her. Caitlin nodded taking a moment to process the information and work out her next question,

"What did you do to make the bad burns that you have today?" Caitlin asked, her voice remained gentle the whole time, letting him know he was loved and safe,

"I um, I used one of the bobby-pins that I have for working on some of my devices and heated it up on the Bunsen burner and held it down against my skin." Caitlin wanted to wince, but after the reaction Cisco had yesterday, she carefully left her face as neutral as possible,

"Hon, you know that's incredibly dangerous right? You could have done some really serious damage to yourself." Cisco flinched and dropped his face, he was staring intensely at the couch, not wanting to risk looking up at the doctor in case she saw the tears that had entered his eyes,

"I know," he mumbled, hands rubbing together anxiously, Caitlin glanced at him sympathetically,

"Can you tell me why you decided to turn to self-harm?" she asked calmly. Cisco shook his head. "Do you need a break hon?" the doctor queried softly. Cisco shook his head again. "Sweetheart?" she questioned. That's what it took for the dam to break, tears streamed from Cisco's eyes, he still refused to look up from the couch, but a small question came from his lips,

"Can I have a h-hug please?"

"Of course, come here," her arms were opened wide and Cisco dove into her embrace, pushing his head into her shoulder and let his body shake with sobs. It was just too much he wanted to tell Caitlin, but he was so worried about her hating him and the only time he felt truly safe to talk was when he was in her arms. Caitlin's hand had made its way up to his head and was running in soothing motions through his hair, "shh, you're okay, its all going to be okay," she told him. Cisco let her words sooth him and after a moment he spoke again, his voice was cracked and broken as he confessed to her,

"It stopped my head," he whispered,

"Sorry?" Caitlin spoke,

"The self-harm, it stopped the noise in my head for a little while, I could work without wanting to die. It was a nice break," he confessed to her.

"Thank you for telling me, I know this is hard for you and Cisco," she lifted his chin up so he was looking at her, "I'm so incredibly proud of you." Cisco's smile was watery, but she could tell it was one of pride.

"Cait," Cisco started to talk again,

"Yeah Cisco,"

"I think I need help; I can't be alone it's too much, everything even remotely sharp I look at I think about hurting myself with and I keep trying to come up with ways to die and it hurts all the time Cait, it hurts so much," He turned his head back into her shoulder, crying hard again, but this time it was partly form relief, a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Caitlin wrapped her arms around Cisco tightly feeling that if she let him go, she might lose him,

"It's okay Cisco, we will get you some help, and you can stay with me as long as you need and we can remove sharp objects and you can work in a room with me at Starlabs, we will work this out, we will get you help, and you will feel better. I promise Cisco."

Cisco nodded into her shoulder, he believed her.